Save Me (23 page)

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY’VE had their lives flash before their eyes they mean it in the literal sense. It’s the unprepared slam of brakes because you catch a glimpse of a child running and a ball rolling down a driveway in front of you. Your tires screech, and as you slam on the brakes your body jerks forward. Your heart races so fast that the sound is drowning out the radio and all you think is,
What if this was my child?

Or it’s when you go to pick your child up from school and they’re not on the playground like they’re supposed to be. So you search and search until tears are running down your face, only to remember you let her go home with a friend for the first time. The images you’ve
had
to store and recreate in your mind because you have
nothing
left but your memories, don’t do you justice because you can’t remember the way your baby smelled or how it felt to hold her. Right now you can’t recall what it was like to lie in bed with your husband while you both stared at your sleeping daughter between you. The smile and laughter you thought you had memorized has faded.

And even as you remember, it’s still not enough to quell the thoughts running through your head so you drive by, except this isn’t a suburban area and you can’t see up their almost mile long driveway. You pick your fingers raw on the drive back to your house so you can call the other mother to make sure your only reason for living is there. And the next time your daughter asks you if she can go and stay at her friend’s house, you offer the alternative because you can’t bear the thought of her being away from you.

I’ve had a few moments in my life where my life flashed before my eyes. Regardless of how safe I’ve felt, I’ve lived with fear for the past six years. Fear of the unknown, fear that Ray would find out my life is a lie, fear that the random knock on the door in the middle of the night would reveal Frannie or Ted Lawson and I’d be powerless to stop them.

But nothing has ever prepared me for what I’m feeling now. My life and the life of my daughter is a continuous movie reel showing me everything that I remember and conjured up in my mind.

As I stand here, my heart beats slowly as the fear I’ve been trying to avoid seeps into my system. The shock I’m going through will eventually go away when my endorphins kick in and my fight or flight reactors engage.

I’ve been duped. I should’ve never listened to Cara and jumped at her vague answer regarding Nate. And Ryley—the one person who in a matter of moments made me believe I could trust someone—has lied. They’re not here to flesh out Frannie, they’re here to deliver me to her.
They
work for her.

I step back from the man in the doorway and shake my head. I’m trapped. I have nowhere to run and everyone in town is at the Village Green. It’s the perfect set up and I’ve walked right into it. The thought of Claire being taken and Ray being hurt as he tries to save her run rampant through my mind. I let out a cry, only to be comforted by Ryley.

“Don’t touch me,” I scream. “You people are sick. I just want to be left alone. Why couldn’t you leave me alone?”

“Penny,” the man in the door says my name, as if he knows me. He doesn’t. He can’t.

He’s dead.

I look at Ryley, who has tears rolling down her face. I can’t understand why she’s crying. Has her mission failed?

“Penny, I know you’re in shock right now, but please listen to me,” Ryley says as she reaches for me. I step back and try to remain upright when the back of my knees touch the bed.

“I don’t have to listen. This is sick, Ryley. Having someone pose as your dead fiancé to get me to help you? Why would you do that?”

“I’m not dead, Penny. Give us a chance to explain, please,” the imposter pleads. I slowly shake my head, but know I have no choice. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it to me.

“What’s this?”

He sighs, running this hand over the top of his hat. “Read it, please. It’ll help with what I’m about to tell you.”

Unfolding it carefully, I read the words at the top of the page:

In an instant I think back to six or seven months ago when Ray said he saw a news report, something about a conspiracy. His words are clear, “
Anyway, it was about a Navy SEAL who was reported dead, but they found him alive
.”
Him
. He said him, not
them
.

“What about—”

Ryley sets her hand on my shoulder and then I know. Evan was the one they found alive, not my Tucker.

“Finish the article, Penny.”

Nodding, I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand so I can see clearly.

“Is this some type of joke?”

“No,” he replies, shaking his head. “We’re alive and we’re home. We’ve been back for a little over six months. Shit’s bad, Penny. We had no idea what was going on back home.”

“And we had no idea Frannie was sending the guys care packages,” Ryley says. “They came home thinking we knew they were alive, that they were still on their mission.”

“This is unbelievable. This is the type of stuff that happens on television, not in real life,” I whisper, sitting down to re-read the article again, focusing on the word “four”. Ray heard one and that one could be Evan, if it’s the same story, but this four.

Four Navy SEALs dead, only to return home six years later.

There were four in Tucker’s deployment, Evan being one of them. My hopes soar as I try to form some sort of coherent sentence, but I can’t. My breathing picks up, my heart rate increases, and I feel dizzy.

Tucker …

Claire …

… Ray.

It’s only in that moment I realize what the article is telling me. “It says four. Are you telling me that Tucker is alive?” My voice breaks as I look at Evan, desperate for confirmation.

“Yes,” he, Ryley, and Cara all say at the same time.

“Where?” I stand on shaky legs and brush past Evan, toward the door. “Where is he?” I open the door and step out, only to hear another door open. Nate, Evan’s twin brother, steps out first and holds up his hands, stopping me from gaining entry into the other room.

“Move out of my way,” I demand, trying to push past him, but he’s much bigger than I am and doesn’t budge. Rask steps out next and nods toward me before stepping into the room I just left.

“He’s been looking for you since the day he got back.” I turn my head toward Evan, who’s standing in the doorway. “
Every day
. He hasn’t given up hope that he’d find you and Claire.”

Nate steps aside, no longer blocking me from the room where Tucker should be. I step hesitantly, until I’m in front of the door. I rest my hand against the cold wood as tears drip down my face. There’s no use wiping them away because I feel more and more coming. I swallow hard and take in a deep breath before pushing the door open.

My hand covers my mouth, but the gasp is loud enough to draw his attention toward me. He stands, unsure of himself … of us, and lets out a sob that breaks me on the inside. We both step to each other, the door behind me crashing closed, causing us both to jump.

Something is holding me back. Is it Ray? Or am I so unsure of myself right now I don’t know what to do?

“Is it you?”

“I should be asking you the same thing, Penelope. I’ve been waiting for this moment since the day I left.” Tucker reaches out and strokes my cheek. My face leans into his hand and it’s only a matter of seconds before I’m enveloped in his arms.

“Oh God, Penny, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”

“I have a good guess,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, but nothing is going to lift the heavy clamor of reality. I grip his shirt in my fingers and breathe him in. My heart is telling me to remind him how much I love him, but I can’t.

“I dreamt about this day for so long, only to have my dreams shatter and change when I arrived home. I had this big long speech in my head all set and ready to go, and then you walked into the room. There’s an elephant in the room and we should talk about it before I lose my nerve or before I do something you’ll hate me for. I won’t be able to live knowing that you hate me, Penny,” he says, breaking my train of thought.

I nod against this chest, but am unwilling to leave his hold. What if he disappears on me?

“I don’t want to let you go.” I bring him closer, wrapping my arms around his waist. He’s lost weight since I saw him last.

“Believe me, I’m not letting you out of my sight, but we need to talk.” He pulls my arms away from his sides and leads me over to the bed, sitting across from me and never letting go of my hands. “I love you and Claire more than my life and I know you’re married,” he says as I feel my stomach and heart crash to the floor. “I also know you’re living a life under a different name and that you’ve paid for my storage unit this entire time.”

“Are you the one who took your bike?” I choke back a sob.

“I am. It’s staying with the Clarkes right now. Penny, so much as happened to us over the past six years I don’t even know how to start. I know about Lawson and what he did with Claire.”

“How do you know?”

Tucker sits up straight, releasing my hands; they fall limp to my side. The only one I told was the police officer because the MPs didn’t believe me that something happened in our home. The police officer tried to talk to Lawson, but had nothing to keep him on.

“My private investigator uncovered the police report you filed and the thing is, Penny, we believe it because Lawson was the reason we were over there. He’s the reason you were told we were dead. I remember the day before we left. Claire and I were outside and I was taking pictures.”

I nod, remembering all too well the photos I hid in the house. Lawson was in one of them and I knew he was bad.

“I confronted him, and the next thing I know we were off and never coming back.”

“He kept you there?”

Tucker nods and lets his tears flow. “That man is ten shades of fucking crazy. He’s part of a sex ring we uncovered. Archer killed their leader right off, but there were so many waiting to take his place. God, to think of what would’ve happened to Claire if you hadn’t ran.”

“I had to, Tucker. He was going to take her from me.”

He stands and comes over to me, resting his forehead against mine. His lips graze mine briefly, igniting something that died in me a long time ago.

“Do you love him?”

I nod.

“Is he good to Claire?”

I nod again.

“Okay,” he says without moving. I don’t know what that means. Hell, I don’t know what any of this means. My husband, the one I thought was dead, is holding me now and all I can think is that this is a dream, a really fucked up dream. When I wake, where will I be?

Tucker stands and walks toward the front of the room. “I’ve had some time to think, and while not all my thoughts are rational, I’m not going to ask you to leave him. You didn’t know I was alive and it’s selfish of me to expect you to drop your new life to come back with me. But I want to know Claire.”

I listen to his words and can’t believe I’m in this situation. Two husbands, a fake name, and a lie are what my life comes down to.

“I need some time, Tucker. This is all too much for me to take in right now. I mean, you’re alive. So are Evan, Justin, and River … I need time to deal.”