Save Me (4 page)

It was Justin Rask and I who refused retirement, but for different reasons. For Rask, he wants to feel like he still has a family and the Navy provides that. The Navy is willing to keep Rask active because he’s not missing his family. They choose to ignore him. Apparently he’s not a lawsuit threat. But for me, my reason is simple: I want them to pay.

Evan Archer took the retirement payout, but that didn’t prevent his fiancée from filing a lawsuit on their son’s behalf for emotional stress, fraud, and a slew of other reasons. Ryley wants to make sure their son is well provided for as a result of the suffering they’ve both had to endure. Who knows if that will ever see it’s day in court, but I hope to be there when it does, and pray that my family will be filing the same lawsuit once I find them. Archer is enjoying retirement as a workingman, running a security firm that works closely with the CIA on political details. His twin brother, Nate, will be running their field office in Washington, DC.

Raymond “River” Riveria was by all accounts a damn fine team leader. If he knew what was going on, he hid it well. I want to believe River was in the dark just like the rest of us, and was as surprised as we were when he came home only to find out the team had all been dead and buried for years. The whereabouts of River are unknown at this time. The day that Evan and Nate confronted River about his wife Frannie’s involvement, his house blew up seconds after the Archer brothers left. No body fragments were found in the rubble.

“How’d your meeting go today?” Archer asks, switching topics. It’s a habit with us; first we’ll discuss our theories, but only briefly because we don’t know who’s listening, and then we’ll talk about daily life with hopes to bore whoever may be lurking down the road.

“I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I can’t lie, they are. She specializes in finding kids who have been kidnapped by parents. I told her Penny didn’t kidnap Claire, but it looks that way to an outsider.”

“No one believes us,” Archer says, much to my agreement. “They think we’re either lying or went rogue and are blaming the military for a cover up that doesn’t exist.”

“Cara has the letters from O’Keefe. What’s she doing with them?” Captain O’Keefe had a heavy part in our deployment and subsequent life in Cuba for six years. He was the only one to come and go, always promising that the next rendezvous point would be the last. Except each time the team would unearth another child sex ringleader and, as parents themselves, wanted to end the people involved, O’Keefe came back with more orders.

Cara Hughes is the FBI agent who has been helping us. She’s also Nate’s girlfriend, who I had the pleasure of meeting a few times before we deployed. Since returning, she’s been by our sides trying to figure out how everything became so fucked up.

“They went missing.” The anger is Archer’s voice is absent. He should be pissed off. “It’s okay though because we made so many copies before she turned them over. Ingram, Lawson, and Chesley, they’re going down. It’s only a matter of time. Cara says they have enough to prosecute Lawson on child pornography, rape of a minor, and some other shit that went in one ear and out the other. Ingram is out on bail.”

“Too bad we don’t know the guard,” I add, knowing that if I did, I’d ask for five minutes alone with the admiral. Or I could find out what cell he’s in, set up in the trees near the jail, and aim my rifle at this head. Thing is, I need answers and he has them. He’s no good to me if he’s dead.

We both turn when we hear the sliding glass door open. Ryley pokes her head out, smiling at us. Seeing her and EJ every day is difficult. Between the longing for Penny and Claire and the anger because I can’t find them, spending time with Archer and his family is hard. But this is where I’ll call home, until I can prove to the US Government that I’m alive. All I need is my birth certificate or a DNA test to do so, making the need to find Penny and Claire even greater. The other option is to exhume my mother, and the last thing I want to do is disturb her resting place.

“Hey, guys, are you ready for dinner?” Ryley steps into Archer’s side and wraps her arms around him. They’re a couple who have been through a lot and are persevering. Aside from Archer being gone, when the team came home, Ryley was engaged to his twin brother, Nate. I haven’t been privy to all that happened between them, but I do know an attempt was made on Ryley and her mom, Carole’s, life. The car accident left Ryley with a broken arm and Carole temporarily wheelchair bound. From that point forward, Archer has been glued to Ryley’s hip, only leaving her side to go to work. It was Ryley who ended up asking Archer to marry her. Their wedding is set for next summer once her mom can walk down the aisle holding Nate’s arm.

“I’m starving,” Archer says, kissing Ryley on the forehead. The sight makes me jealous, but I’m happy for my friend. I want to believe that I’ll have this again, soon but I know the clock is working against me. Even though I was declared dead six years ago, the seven-year mark of being absent is approaching. The last thing I want to find out is that Penny has remarried and moved on with her life, even though I’m suspecting that’s the case.

“Tucker, are you hungry?” I nod and finish my beer. Ryley has been so cordial and accommodating to me, even though her and Archer should be alone, getting to know each other again and bonding as a family. She’s opened her door, home, and heart to me, making sure I’ve felt welcomed since they moved back to Washington.

As soon as I step into the house, I’m attacked by EJ—the walking, talking, spitting image of Archer, but with Ryley’s red hair. I pick him up, even though he’s getting too big for this type of stuff, and give him a hug. I take little consolation in knowing that EJ has never met Claire so he’s not missing her or asking me where she is. I’m not sure if I’d be able to handle those types of questions.

“Do you want to play hide-n-seek after dinner, Tucker?”

How can I say no?

“You bet, but you have to promise to eat all your vegetables.”

“Deal,” EJ replies, giving me a high-five. After setting him down, I follow him downstairs where the main part of the house is. The view from the living room is still as spectacular from the porch, but the vantage point upstairs is what makes this house worth it.

“EJ and I are going to play a game of hide and go seek after dinner,” I say, causing Ryley to groan. She’s mentioned a few times that I don’t need to entertain EJ, but I don’t mind. Sometimes I need the distraction.

“EJ, make sure you don’t hide in your special place. That’s only for me, okay?”

“Okay, Evan.”

I can’t help but frown at Archer who shakes his head. Two things have caught me off-guard just now: The fact that EJ has his own hiding spot, and that he’s still not calling Archer ‘Dad’.

It’s the hiding spot, which truly gives me pause and makes me wonder what the hell Archer is preparing for.

AFTER A HIGH STAKE game of hide-n-seek and tag with EJ, the little guy is finally ready for bed. It’s been a long time since I’ve played with someone so young. There were times, when I was chasing him around the yard, that I had flashbacks of doing similar things with Claire. Only when we’d play hide-n-seek she’d cheat and watch where I was hiding. Of course, Penny was helping her. I didn’t mind though. Hearing Claire squeal when she found me was worth it.

Now if and when I see her again she won’t even know who I am. I doubt she has a single memory of me as her father. Pictures, if Penny even took any with her, won’t make up for the time we’ve missed and continue to miss each day we’re not together. To my daughter, I’m nothing more than a stranger and maybe someone her mother talks about on special occasions.

Each day that passes is another day lost, and one more day closer to my absolute end. I have less than five months to find Penny or my marriage, as I know it, is over. Right now the law is somewhat on my side according to the first private investigator I hired. I don’t know how much smoke he’s blowing up my ass, but if he’s telling the truth, the law puts a deadline on what the spouse could call abandonment, especially since the Navy isn’t acknowledging their error, even with the offer of retirement. If Penny has remarried it will be null and void because I’m alive and well. The downside to that is something I think about every day—what if she left me? What if I’m chasing her when I should really be focusing solely on Claire?

But where is she? How come she’s not in school? And if she is, why did Penny change her name? Are they running or hiding? I can’t declare her missing because technically I’m still dead. That thought reminds me I need to speak to Ryley about a missing persons report and why one wasn’t filed. As much as I don’t want to bother her and Evan, I have to know.

Climbing the stairs, I try to make as much noise as possible so I don’t interrupt them. I know from experience what it can be like to have people walk in on you when you’re trying to love up on your wife. The last thing I want to do is to make things awkward between us.

Much to my surprise, Ryley is curled up in the corner of the couch and Evan is watching television. Of course, his hand is resting on her leg. He’s never far from touching her if he can help it. We both know that we’ll never be able to make up for the time we’ve been away. I’ll be struggling with Claire, just as he is with EJ. His son knows Evan is his father, but hasn’t called him the name he so desperately wishes for … ‘Dad.’

For years, I filled Evan in on what it feels like to hear your child say dada for the first time, promising him it’s going to be one of the best moments of his life. Little did I know that our lives were being ripped apart while we fought a despicable animal, which some sick fuck senator was funding, and instead of coming clean about his desire to play with children he destroyed our lives. There isn’t a shred of doubt in my mind that he has a hit out on us and is waiting patiently to strike. It’s just a matter of time before someone makes a move. I hope for our sakes, it’s us. I refuse to be a victim to Lawson or Ingram ever again.

“Hi, Tucker. Can I get you some coffee?” Ryley asks as she closes her book and starts to stand before I hold up my hand. Evan turns his head slightly to acknowledge me before returning his focus to whatever he’s watching on TV.

“I’m fine, and please don’t think you have to wait on me, Ryley.”

“Okay, but please know that our house is yours, so you can help yourself to whatever,” she says sweetly as she settles back into the couch.

“Except my sniper rifle,” Evan laughs, knowing full well that once Ryley is in bed, I’ll be on the deck siting the scope to my perfection. As much as I hate saying this, I miss shooting.

“Evan, you can share your toys,” Ryley chastises him with a smile. Penny used to say the same thing when Evan would come over to check out a new gun or knife I had picked up. That’s one thing I like about being a SEAL—the plethora of weapons that arms dealers had lying around, waiting for us to test them. There was never a shortage of toys.

Sitting in the recliner, which happens to be closer to Ryley, I know this is the time to talk to her about the questions that have been plaguing me. It pains me to bring up the past knowing she’s working so hard on her future with Evan and EJ, but this is where I’m stuck.

“Ryley, can I ask you some questions about the day Penny left?”

My question must spark Evan’s curiosity because he mutes the show he’s watching and sits up, moving closer to Ryley. The three of us look at each for a moment before Ryley sits up straight and reaches for Evan’s hand. I can’t imagine what the wives and families went through when they were told we died, but I like thinking Penny was there for Ryley since she was pregnant and helping her cope, at least for a brief amount of time.