Save the Last Bullet for God (35 page)

“I just act in accordance with my own
personal thoughts and actions,” he said, his hands trembling and
his own voice growing louder. “I think I have the right to do that,
with what I’ve accomplished.”

“What if you find that your theories don’t
work because you didn’t understand them correctly? The quantum
theory you don’t understand could make sense with the right missing
data. We thought no other galaxy existed except the one we live in
until 1923, but we’ve found now that hundreds, thousands, and even
billions of them are out there. Your studies in physics could be as
insufficient and incorrect as the quanta determined from that
single galaxy.”

“The laws of physics cannot be changed,” he
said.

“You can never know what is beyond the thing
you can’t measure or perceive. What if whatever you perceive and
observe now is only 5% of what really exists?”

“So all this around us is only 5%? What is
your point with these extreme examples?”

“Take an elephant,” I said. “If all we can
see it one of its nails, how can we understand that it’s alive and
can breed. How can we know the existence and function of its
intestines, much less produce theories about it? From our limited
data we would deduce that the elephant’s body was formed of nail
tissue, and, when if we developed our theories and formulas in that
direction, we of course would be proven wrong.”

“Your logic is correct, but is awareness of
the total from such a small amount even possible?” Einstein
asked.

“The emergence of a new energy form would
lead us to that conclusion. We would then understand that there
might be many substances and energies we can’t perceive that would
change the rules we now obey. Then you may even understand why we
can’t pin down some formulas.”

The assistant cleared his throat and tapped
his clipboard with his pen. He had finished his job. Einstein was
impatient to leave as well.

“Dr. Reich, if different life and energy
forms are discovered in the future, I might think something of what
you’ve said. If these findings are as you say 95% over what we know
now, then I would, of course, believe you unconditionally.”

With that, he and his circus of reporters
left the lab.

Days later, a letter arrived telling me that
the assistant’s measurements had confirmed some of my data. This
was hastily followed by another letter telling me that they’d made
a mistake.

I never saw or heard from Einstein again.
When he died in 1955, he was still hopelessly working on “the
theory of everything.”

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1920, Vienna

Wilhelm Reich/Sigmund Freud

Only time is needed to overcome such pain.
Not knowing how long it would take to recover, I went on with my
life. I became busy with school and classes and began to rejoin the
crowds. I began to attend the psychiatry meetings on Wednesdays and
listen to Dr. Freud’s lectures.

After one of those evening talks, as
everybody left the hall and Dr. Freud organized his papers, I
waited in my seat for him to finish. After humoring those who
gathered around him with their meaningless questions, the room
finally emptied and Dr. Freud looked up at me, a lone student
seated in an empty hall. Nodding slightly at me, he headed toward
me, and I stood up in excitement.

“
You’ve been attending these meetings
pretty regularly.”

“Yes, sir. It’s an honor for me that you’ve
noticed me and a relief that you’re still talking to me after my
attitude that night…”

“Love is a disease, and getting angry at the
symptoms is only cruel to the patient. However, if you had hit my
head with a chair, I might be angrier.” He smiled, and added, “If
you have time, I’d like to buy you a drink.”

...

We sat at one of the back tables in a
crowded cafe close to the meeting hall. Dr. Freud smoked his cigar
and took small sips from his glass of cognac. I sat opposite him,
not drinking my coffee, and playing with the cookie next to the
cup.

“So tell me, young man,” he said after a
small cough.

“What can I tell you that you don’t know or
can’t guess? The girl used me, ran away from the hospital, and
dumped me. I went through hard times, but I have finally accepted
it and come back to my life, as you can see.” My speech was
followed by a long silence. And then I added, “I feel like an
idiot!”

Smiling a little, he took a big puff from
his cigar and let the smoke out.

“You have plenty of time to correct your
mistakes,” he said.

I took a big sip from the cold coffee and
was about to take a bite from the cookie but changed my mind. I
wanted to talk.

“Sir, I’ve been following psychiatry and
your work with much admiration, and, if you let me, I’d like to be
your assistant.”

Freud regarded me for a moment.

“Why not?” he said. “I don’t usually pass up
the opportunity to help young, intelligent people and gain the
advantage of their different points of view.” After showing the
waiter his almost empty glass, he continued talking. “I’m always in
need of bright questions.”

“I have a question for you now,” I said as I
watched the waiter fill his glass.

Freud took a sip and gestured for me to go
on.

“Is it possible that consciousness doesn’t
belong to the human body,” I asked, “that maybe another life form
arrived in that organism later?”

“A very different question. You’ve surpassed
my expectations, Mr. Reich. A very different approach. Can you go
on?” he asked. Through the dense smoke of his cigar, I saw he had
an excited sparkle in his eye now.

“Babies are just the physical offspring of
humans until they have their first memory,” I started. “They can’t
be separated from the offspring of an animal with their primitive
and instinctive behavior. It is only after they gain consciousness
and a sense of belonging that they distinguish themselves from the
animal world.”

He thoughtfully nodded his head. My idea had
been confirmed.

“When babies are mature enough to shoulder
the load,” I went on “the living form called consciousness—in this
hypothesis, a parasite which can’t survive alone on Earth—comes and
settles inside the human offspring. Imagine, for example, another
living organism settling inside a snail shell. When we looked at
the being from the outside, we would still perceive that it was a
snail. However, the snail would now have something affecting its
behavior from the outside, and we wouldn’t find its behavior
logical. It would fall out of the pattern of normal snail behavior.
In the same way, between infancy and early adulthood, this living
organism, called consciousness, comes from outside and dominates
the human body and begins to lead it. Meanwhile, there occurs a
period of imbalance between ‘the primitive offspring of humans’ and
the full integration of consciousness.”

“Is this the reason for the incoherent
behavior of little children?” Dr. Feud asked. “For example, the
child scratches the wall, draws a picture, and, when asked, he
tries to explain it by saying, ‘I didn’t draw it.’ And we wonder if
the child blames someone else to get rid of the
responsibility.”

“I haven’t thought it out in detail, Dr.
Freud, but, if it’s like that, then who says, ‘I didn’t scratch the
wall’? The primitive human or the organism called ‘consciousness’
that’s trying to control the body?”

“According to your thesis,” Dr. Freud
continued, “If humans are the living beings who constitute the
shell, then the one who gets in touch with us, the one who captures
us and puts something different inside, the one who gives us our
explanations is the organism called ‘consciousness.’”

“Yes, yes, it has to be, if we follow the
logic, but it also survives by going inside the human, because it
can’t exist if we know it’s there. This explains why we don’t know
how to completely control the body we’re in. We can’t decide on how
fast our heart beats, how our intestines must work, and how much
our nails must grow. Except for inside our head, we never have the
sense of belonging in any part of our body.

“We receive signals from outside, collect
data in our brain via nerve cables and electrical signals, and we
make decisions according to that data. But when we touch fire, we
never know what part of the cells on the tip of our finger are
damaged or which mechanism the tissue there uses to protect
itself.

“Our consciousness receives only a signal of
that pain so that it’s aware of it. The management of all the cells
that bring help, and of the other systems that pull the hand back
in order that it not get burned more, are all under the rule of
‘the primitive human/shell.’ Whereas the organism called
‘consciousness,’ ‘parasite,’ or ‘saprophyte’ never gets
damaged.”

I took another sip of coffee as I waited for
Freud to respond.

“It’s an open-ended argument, my young
friend,” he said. “By this logic, all mental illnesses are caused
because the organism called ‘consciousness’ is losing its dominance
and the primitive human is trying to express its existence.”

“That’s one of the possibilities, Dr. Freud.
In dreams, consciousness is either tired or is busy repairing
things. It withdraws because it has to be somewhere else and thus
gives way to the primitive human shell. When it’s back, it just
browses through the records that it hasn’t used during the
dream.”

“So we only become human in our dreams, and
at other times, we are another organism called ‘consciousness,’”
Freud added thoughtfully.

“Only a living form called ‘consciousness’
that can think, interpret, create, remember, and make plans. The
only thing that separates a human from a monkey and causes us to be
different is that monkeys can’t be invaded and managed by
consciousness, while we, whoever ‘we’ are, are suitable for
it.”

“And when we die?” Freud asked.

“The empty human shell stays; the organism
called ‘consciousness’ leaves.”

“Interesting, really interesting, my young
friend. But I must confess, the possibility of changing everything
based on a single premise scares me. My biggest fear is the
possibility that it could be real, and, on that basis, we’ll never
know what that means because we can’t go outside of the
system.”

“It is like a fish that realizes the
existence of water only when it comes out of it,” I offered. “If
everyone around us has been captured and managed by the organism
called ‘consciousness,’ how can we recognize the difference? With
whom can we compare it so that we can understand?”

“Actually, it’s impossible to prove or
disprove its accuracy, isn’t it, young man?”

“I suppose so.”

…
[STOP]

Limbo

“Sir?"

“-…”

“Sir, Sir! >!’#{[]}\|”!”

“_ _ _”

Cmnd://(Emergency*Resuscitation*Protocole)>:Maximal*Dose-Info*schock

[START]

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Shadow theory

Quanta is the shadow of reality perceived by
our brain. Just as we can see the shadow of a biker who cycles in
front of the sun before he makes his appearance, in quantum theory,
we can see the results before the truth appears.

Physically, we live between reality and the
“quantum shadow” that lies ahead. When our brain gives meaning to
the probability of that “shadow” of quantum physics, the
probabilities become reality and the shadow is perceived as “the
present.”

When our brain looks ahead (at the future),
it sees the same shadow, although the edges are blurred and
indistinct. What we call the future is actually something that is
obvious, but our brain can’t describe it yet.

Our brain only has the capacity or tendency
to perceive shadows by looking back into the past, so it only
“remembers” reality that has already been lived through. In other
words, our memories.

If something casts a shadow, it means that
thing still exists. We can neither see nor remember the thing that
isn’t there. So if we remember something, it still exists.

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Relativity

Shadow is faster than light, because when
light hits an object, the shadow is already there: it just hasn’t
been revealed yet.

We can perceive the shadow before it
dissipates as we approach the speed of light and experience the
future.

When we reach the speed of light, we can’t
perceive anything since there won’t be any shadow.

But if we’re able to pass the speed of
light, we can remember the future (the events appear in our mind’s
eye first, then they happen), and we will also remember the future
when we return to the speed of light.

In brief, if we directly look at reality, we
remember. If we look at its shadow and grasp what it is, it becomes
“the present.” If we look at the shadow and can’t figure out what
it is, then it is “the future.”

…[STOP]

Limbo

“Welcome back, sir.”

“Please tell me. Is there a problem with the
system?

“No, sir, I’ve checked and tested everything
many times; it looks ok. So, how was your experience?”

“Amazing. If I hadn’t witnessed it, I
wouldn’t believe it. Such a large number of people killed like
insects. A handful of soldiers destroyed such a huge army.”

“That handful of soldiers achieved more than
that, sir. They ended the Incan empire, which was bigger, older,
and more populated than the one they came from. Massive cities were
destroyed. Millions of people died, and tons of valuable mines were
captured. You killed them all in order to stop them from
sacrificing men for their religious beliefs.”

“We really killed them all?”

“A species composed of pale blues killed
more than you did.”