Authors: Christine Zolendz
I actually cracked a smile. But it was short lived. I thought about the first pair of lips that had ever touched
min
e
. H
ow
my soul
ha
d
never quite recovered from the absence of them.
"By the way, I um, I kind of told Shane some things about your past when he was in the hospital with me, before, um, everything. Hopefully, he'll just think I was having a moment of insanity and forget everything I said," Lea whispered. Her hands twisted at the cuffs of her
sleeves again, and tears brimmed her eyes. "This is all so screwed
up;
it's majorly fucked on so many levels."
I was surprised my eyes stayed dry after hearing his name again. "No worries. Trust
m
e,
Shane isn't the same person he was when I was in the hospital. He probably doesn't even remember the conversation."
She tilted her head and gave me a questioning stare. She opened her mouth
,
about to say something
els
e,
but I interrupted her before she could speak.
"
Loo
k,
forget about it. I'll go take a shower now and maybe I'll go for a walk or a run or something." I didn't want to think about Shane Maxton anymore or what soul lived in his body now. I could barely manage to figure out how to step one foot in front of the other
,
let alone how I was going to deal with Shane.
I eyed my sneakers in the corner. "Yeah, I think I'm going to try to go for a run. That always makes me feel better." I picked them up and ran into the
hallwa
y,
leaving Lea sitting alone on my mattress in my empty room.
"Wait!" Lea yelled after me. "You should really clean yours
elf up first!
You look like crap
! And what about the detectives?" She screamed some more profanities at
m
e,
but I was already halfway down the block.
Without even stretching, which I completely acknowledged I would be kicking myself in the ass for later, I ran full speed towards Fifth Avenue. I crossed Fifth and ran straight into
Central Park
,
pounding my heels against the pavement. It had been over a month since I ran and I felt the shallow breath in my lungs immediately, but I didn't stop.
It was a warm day for New York City even though it was the middle of March.
That was the month now, March.
I missed the rest of February, completely missed Valentine's Day and now it was
March
.
The end of March
.
In the last five and a half weeks
of
Grace's life, my life,
it
had completely turned upside down. Five and a half weeks ago
,
I was the hot rock goddess of the popular band Mad World, staring at an intense, um, sexual relationship with the most exquisite man on earth and now, well, right now I fe
lt
like hurling myself into one of the lakes in Central Park. How the hell am I supposed to get through this? Just like always, pretend that everything is great? Everything is normal? How the hell am I going to look at Shane Maxton again? Not that he's been around at all. He's the only one that hadn't visited me since I woke up.
I pushed forward. I focused my eyes on an invisible spot on an invisible horizon and just ran. I didn't feel it when my sides began to ache, or when my shins and knees protested against my
movement
s, but
when my endorphins kicked in, I felt the rush. I felt the rush of life through my veins. It spiked with a blinding white heat across every part of my body. I stumbled to a park bench and sat down
heavily
against the wood planks.
I inhaled the crisp cool air and closed my eyes. The foggy thoughts that had been hanging heavy in my mind seemed to clear a fraction. Yeah, maybe Lea was right. Maybe I should just start living this life.
He slid his warm hands under my shirt and slowly traced his fingertips along the small of my back and up my spine. His touch was killing me, killing my soul; just leaving me wanting and needing.
I slid my hands up the front of his shirt, telling myself it was for the warmth, but I was never a good liar. His body was soft and deliciously warm, and the restraint was torturous.
A low moan escaped from his lips. He pushed himself up against me and gently pulled me into a sitting position
,
my legs straddling him. This is too dangerous, too toxic; too beautiful.
He ran feathery fingers through my hair and around to the nape of my neck. I trembled under his touch. I was a complete dripping
,
hot disaster; falling into pieces
,
wanting him to fill me and put me back together.
"Do you have any idea what you do to me, Grace?" His voice was low and husky, and he gazed at me, ice blue eyes concentrating hard. It took my breath away. "Just one kiss
,
Grace..."
His slow deliberate hands moved over my skin, fingers trembling. It unleashed an inferno that coursed through my body. Every move he made was so freaking erotic.
"Just one," I whispered. Then his lips touched mine. It was barely a kiss; his lips hovered over mine, taking the briefest of moments to savor the intensity.
"Grace," he sighed and his lips devoured mine. I fell completely apart in his arms, his touch unraveled me, and his kiss brought me back together
,
complete. I wanted all of him;
I was completely in love with this man
.
"Grace! Wake up! Hurry up!" Lea was banging on my bedroom door. She threw it open and it bashed itself against the wall
,
knocking down my guitar case. "Crap! Sorry." She bent down and fumbled with the case, leaned it back against the wall
,
and looked at me for the first time. "Are you okay? You look like you have a fever or something."
"Uh," was all I could get out
of my
mouth
.
My lips still felt raw from my dream and I desperately wanted her to get the fuck out of my room so I could finish it.
"Get dressed and come into the living room, the detectives are here to interview you about what you remember. Since you haven't gone to them
,
they're here, so let's go. Ethan and Conner are on their way for moral support and all." She gave me a strained smile as her eyes flitted around my room.
Wh
at
the hell?
Lea
sighed, opened my dresser draws,
and pulled out a black bra and a pair of red underwear. She held them up, "Where are your matching sets?" Tears slid down her cheeks and her shoulders trembled as she stood there waiting for my answer.
"What the hell kind of interview should I be expecting? The fuck I care if my bra and panties match." I was still breathless from the dream and I could still feel his fingers trail along my skin.
Hot streaks of lava.
Crap
.
"This is important
,
Grace. You have no idea what this has done to everyone! Snap out of your shitty funk and get the
heck
up and get dressed!" She was sobbing uncontrollably.
What
has
this had done to everyone? What the?
The last time I checked
,
I was the only person who got stabbed by some psycho fallen angel and spent four weeks in a medically
induced coma. A place where, I might add, allowed the psycho fallen angel to torture me. Oh, and let's not forget that I watched the love of my existence walk the hell away from me and leave me here to rot on earth!
And the fact that I can't make a clear freaking thought in my head because I feel like it's stuffed full of cotton!
Some sort of enraged expression must have crossed my face, because she covered her eyes with her hands and sobbed harder. "I'm sorry
,
Grace. This is just hard for me. You almost died, and it's all so
mess
ed up."
I felt my features soften. My fists that had my sheets
tightly
clenched in them relaxed
,
and I gradually made myself stand up. "Everything is okay
,
Lea. Look, I'm fine. I'll get dressed and come out in a minute. Go make some coffee for the detectives or something. I'll be right there."
Changing into the unmatched
underwear,
I watched myself in the
full-length
mirror on the inside of my closet door. The scar along the left side of my body ran from the top of my ribcage all the way to my left hip. It was a thin pink jagged line, raised a bit over the rest of my ivory white skin.
Frankenbelly
.
I understood why Lea was a mess. She just went through the loss of my brother Jacob, who was like a brother to her and me almost dying on her. I needed to remember how sensitive she was, but yet
,
I couldn't help feeling selfish and not care as much as I should. I wanted to stay in bed, wear the same old ratty clothes
,
and drink myself stupid until my once vibrant world faded into the soft hues of gray.
Into nothingness.
I wanted the loss of
him
to consume me until I was no more.
For
the first time in my existence, I didn't want to care
about anybody else but me, and how to stop my heartache
.
The doorbell rang and I could hear Lea intr
oducing Conner and Ethan to who
ever the officers were. Exhaling a deep breath, I felt relieved that Conner was there for Lea. He always made her feel better. Safer.
I slipped on a pair of old jeans and a plain white
tee shirt
. I twisted my waist length
jet-black
hair into a messy bun. Wavy tendrils of hair spiked out all over the top of my head; I reminded myself of Medusa. Slipping my fluffy teddy bear slippers on
,
I walked out of my bedroom and down the hallway.
Two plain-clothes detectives were
s
tanding
in the living room.
Before I could catch my breath,
Ethan and Conner were standing next to me. Ethan grabbed me in his arms, "I can't believe this is all happening. We're right here if you need us," he whispered his hot breath into my ear.
I gawked at him. I wondered if I lost some important body part in the hospital that no one told me about yet. "Yeah,
um, okay...
thanks
,
Ethan."
The male detective held out his hand to me. "Miss Taylor? Good morning. I'm Detective Steve Fanning and this is Detective Vicki
Sorens
. We're here to formally interview you about your
incident;
I hope you're feeling better."
His handshake was firm and strong.
Detective
Soren's
, not so much.
She kind of eyed me like I was her favorite dessert and gave me a tight smile painted blood red. I pictured her pulling out a riding crop and lunging for me.
I shook the thoughts away. "Hello
,
detectives, would you like to sit?"
Detective Fanning sat on one of our side chairs and offered me
thanks
. His eyes were kind and he kept a friendly
,
fatherly sort of smile on his face. "Sorry, we don't mean to interrupt. We realized that it was proving to be difficult for you to get down to the station house for our interview. I hope you don't mind us paying you a visit like this. I know you've been through a very
traumatic experience, and we understand that you've recently
awakened
from a medically induced coma
,
so you may not remember many answers, but I'd like you to answer the best you can, okay? Just the facts and circumstances as you remember them."
I nodded. I lost track of where the other detective was, she seemed to fade into the background along with my friends and g
o
t lost in the fog that seemed to occupy my thoughts daily. I sat down on the couch and pulled my feet underneath myself, crushing the faces of the cute teddy bears on my slippers. For a split
second,
I became horrified that the poor things were hurt. I wished I could crawl back in bed.
"Can you tell me your full name?" Detective Fanning asked.