Saving Ren (Barretti Security Series, Book 3) (16 page)

“Ren,” Declan said gently. He felt Declan’s hand cup his chin and he realized he’d been silent for too long because he saw the fleeting disappointment in Declan’s eyes. “I didn’t tell you just so you’d say the words back.”

“Why did you tell me?” Ren asked.

“Because I’m done lying to myself about it or hoping it will go away. But you need to know that what I feel for you I feel for Jagger too. I didn’t expect it but I can’t change it. I won’t.”

“Declan,” Ren began to say but Declan silenced him with a kiss.

Declan loved him. His brain kept repeating the phrase over and over as Declan worshiped his mouth. But a chill went through him as he realized that Declan didn’t know the truth yet. About him. About what he’d done.

“Tell me again,” Ren whispered. He knew it was cruel to ask Declan to say something he couldn’t say back but he needed the words anyway. Maybe if he heard them enough, he’d find the strength he needed to admit what he’d done in the darkness of his prison.

“I love you, Ren,” Declan breathed against his lips. He said it again before Ren silenced him with a kiss but as he reached for Declan’s shirt, Declan froze and grabbed his hands. It was then that Ren heard what sounded like a door slamming shut. Declan pushed him to his feet and quickly rose. “Stay here,” he said before Ren could argue.

Declan didn’t even manage to reach the door before it flew open. Jagger’s haggard gaze connected with Ren as he strode towards Declan. The apology was there clear as day but Ren knew that he wasn’t the one that needed it.

***

Declan hadn’t even heard the sound of the car coming up the road because he’d been too caught up in the fact that he’d admitted not only his love for Ren but for Jagger as well. Neither admission had been on his agenda tonight but it had felt so right to finally tell Ren the truth. Even as hard as it had been to know he wouldn’t hear the words back, he’d still felt lighter then he’d felt in a long time and he had no regrets. Nor did he have any desire to take back the admission that he was in love with Jagger too. The latter hadn’t even hit him until he’d watched Jagger’s car drive away from the motel. The loss he’d felt had been a hundred times worse than the pain his grandfather had inflicted upon him with his heartless defection but he didn’t regret what he’d said to Jagger either about always protecting him.

Hope went through Declan as Jagger closed the distance between them and he didn’t hesitate for even a second when Jagger’s lips covered his.

“I’m sorry,” Jagger whispered raggedly and then his mouth was back on Declan’s. Jagger released him long enough to give Ren a scorching kiss and then Declan lost track of everything else besides the two men whose hands freed him of his clothes and whose mouths set his skin on fire with kiss after blazing kiss. He wasn’t even aware they’d made it to the bed in his room until the mattress hit his back and Jagger’s mouth was wrapped around his cock. He cried out at the sensation but Ren was there to swallow the sound.

“Will you show me, Declan?” Ren asked against his lips. “Will you show me how you feel?”

Declan didn’t understand what Ren was asking until he felt a condom being rolled down his cock. “Do you trust me, Ren?” Declan asked.

“Yes. Always yes.”

It was all Declan needed to hear and he quickly rolled Ren onto his back. He immediately searched Jagger out for a kiss.

“Missed you,” he murmured against Jagger’s mouth. “Get our boy ready for us.”

Jagger’s nostrils flared as he licked over Declan’s mouth once more and then he pulled Ren to the edge of the bed. Ren’s eyes widened with confusion as Jagger lifted and separated Ren’s legs just before he dropped to his knees on the floor. Jagger gave Ren little time to contemplate what was about to happen but the second his tongue licked over Ren’s hole, Ren shouted his name and then his hand reached for Declan’s.

***

Ren’s moans were slowly driving Jagger insane with need as he licked and bit at the pulsing hole beneath his mouth. But when Ren suddenly bucked beneath him and let off a string of curses, Jagger smiled and confirmed what he’d already suspected – Declan was leaning over Ren and had sucked his leaking cock deep into his mouth. Their eyes actually connected as they worked Ren in tandem but it was over too soon because Declan pulled off of Ren after just a few merciless drags. He guessed Declan could tell that Ren was already on the edge and they definitely needed him to stay there until Declan could get inside him. With that in mind, Jagger eased his mouth from Ren’s opening and reached for the lube he’d dropped on the bed. Ren’s body tensed up the second he felt Jagger’s finger press against him but when he looked up, he saw that Declan had laid down next to Ren and was murmuring something to him. Whatever he said seemed to work because he felt Ren’s body relax somewhat and when Jagger gently pressed against him, Ren bore down.

Jagger’s own body felt like it was burning up as he watched his finger disappear into Ren’s body and he couldn’t believe his pride had nearly caused him to miss this moment. The betrayal he’d felt when he had figured out that Declan had likely gone to confront Mitchell had been brutal and his anger had only grown as time went by. Ren had tried talking him down on more than one occasion but Jagger had done exactly what he’d accused Declan of doing – he withdrew and shut Ren out. But when Declan had voiced what Jagger had been trying to deny for so long – that his mother had never protected him – Jagger had felt blindsided.

The fact that his mother had chosen her twisted version of love for Mitchell over her devotion to him had been a truth he’d been hiding from for a long time and to hear someone else say it brought it all that pain back to the surface. But Declan’s next words had scared the hell out of him because they’d been the last thing he expected. Jagger was always the protector because he was bigger and stronger than the people around him. They needed that from him. It was the only role he knew how to play. But he’d believed Declan when he’d said he’d always protect him and the hated vulnerability he’d felt had him needing to escape. It had taken him hours to come to his senses and he’d spent the whole drive to the cabin overcome by the fear that he wouldn’t be forgiven this time around. That he’d fucked up the best thing in his life before it had really even gotten started.

Jagger felt his cock stir in anticipation as Ren’s body began to accept the smooth gliding motion of his finger and he carefully added another.

“Fuck,” Ren muttered and Jagger stilled his movements until he heard Ren’s breathing even out from the ragged pants that had overtaken him. Jagger lifted enough so that he could run his tongue over Ren’s cock which had started to soften and he was rewarded with a loud groan. He kept up his attention on Ren’s dick as he slowly eased the second finger in and as Ren’s length thickened under his ministrations, his hips began pushing down onto Jagger’s fingers. Jagger slowly eased them from Ren’s body and then rose to his feet and leaned over Ren and kissed him hard. Declan’s mouth joined his and they took turns kissing and stroking Ren’s body all over with their hands until he was writhing beneath them, begging for relief. While Jagger pulled Ren farther up the bed, Declan moved into position.

***

Ren couldn’t help but tense up again as he felt Declan’s cock start to push into his body. He knew it would make the discomfort worse if he couldn’t manage to relax but no amount of telling himself that changed his body’s response. But he reminded himself that the pain he’d felt at Jagger’s fingers piercing him had eased and had started to turn into something else that hadn’t felt all that bad. Except that even as thick as Jagger’s fingers were, they didn’t match the size of the dick that was impaling him.

“Ren, do you want Declan to stop?” Jagger whispered against his ear.

Ren shook his head violently. There was no way he was giving up on this – no fucking way.

“You know how beautiful you two are together?” Jagger asked as his palm began caressing Ren’s chest. The warm, rough skin felt good against his and Ren felt a stab of pleasure jolt through him every time Jagger’s fingers brushed his nipples. “I dreamed of this,” Jagger said huskily. “Last night when I was inside of Declan, I imagined him inside of you – the three of us connected.”

Ren moaned at the image and he felt Declan sink farther inside of him. Jagger’s hand slid over his hip but skirted around his dick which lay painfully hard against his groin.

“And when you fucked me this morning I began to wonder if I could take both of you at once. Your cock rubbing against his so deep inside of me that I wouldn’t be able to breathe without both of you feeling it.”

The next moan Jagger heard was Declan’s and he shot him a quick glance. Dark blue, glittering orbs met his as Ren’s body finally relaxed enough to allow Declan to slide all the way in. He hung there as he slashed his mouth over Jagger’s for a moment before dropping it to Ren’s to steal a kiss. Jagger wasn’t surprised when Declan settled his weight onto Ren completely and kept kissing him as his hips began to move.

Jagger was content to watch the two men make love but then Declan’s eyes sought his out. “Do it,” Declan whispered. “Take me.”

“Declan,” Jagger started to say, but Declan cut him off.

“Please, Jagger. I need it to be the three of us…just like you said.”

As much as this moment was supposed to be about Ren, Jagger could see the truth in Declan’s eyes. For whatever reason he needed more. In truth, Jagger needed more too. So it took him just moments to get a condom on and prepare Declan’s body. And then they were exactly what Jagger had been telling Ren they’d be – connected.

***

Declan shuddered as Jagger’s hips began to increase their pace and every thrust had him sliding deeper into Ren. They’d both given up on kissing since they were panting too hard to actually keep their mouths together, but Ren’s eyes had never left his and his hands had wrapped around Declan’s back the moment Declan had leaned over him. The only thing that could have made the moment any better would have been to be able to see Jagger’s eyes but he’d have to settle for Jagger’s breath against his neck and his endless words of how good they both felt beneath him.

“It’s so good, Declan,” Ren whispered.

Declan wished like hell he could tell Ren how much he loved him but he knew that in the throes of passion, Ren would likely say it back and as much as he wanted to hear the words, he wanted them to be said when Ren truly meant them.

It took some effort but Declan managed to get a hand between their bodies and he began jerking Ren off as Jagger ruthlessly slammed into him. He couldn’t stop the scream that erupted from his lips when Jagger suddenly changed the angle of his entry and hit his prostate. He yelled Jagger’s name over and over as Jagger pounded into him and he could hear Ren grunting in unison to his shouts. When he finally came, he managed to open the eyes that had squeezed shut and watched in awe as Ren’s release hit him. He heard both his and Ren’s names fall from Jagger’s lips as he came and the heat of Jagger’s come burned his insides even through the latex barrier that separated them. Jagger’s lips sought his out as his dick continued to pulse inside of Declan and each convulsion had Ren’s body jolting beneath his. The words again threatened to burst free from his throat but at the last second he managed to keep them inside and settled for whispering Ren and Jagger’s names one last time before he drifted off.

Chapter 9

Jagger closed his eyes as he listened to the sounds of the woods waking up around him. The air was cool on his skin and the breeze was strong enough to have the old trees surrounding the cabin creaking.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he heard Declan say and then he was dropping down next to Jagger on the top stair of the porch steps.

“I can see why you liked coming here as a kid,” Jagger murmured. He took the cup of coffee Declan handed him and then leaned over and brushed his lips across Declan’s. “He still asleep?”

Declan nodded. “I think you wore him out last night,” Declan said with a chuckle. “He’ll be lucky if he can even walk today.”

Jagger smiled. In the week that they’d been at the cabin, none of them had spent much time outside the bedroom other than to eat or go for a swim. Even the swims usually ended up with someone on their knees in the sand. Jagger had ended up taking Ren the same night Declan had even though it hadn’t been his intent since he’d known that Ren was likely sore. But he’d been woken up in the middle of the night with whisper soft kisses on his chest and silky tongues licking up and down his dick. He doubted he’d ever see anything as erotic as his two men’s tongues dueling with each other with his dick between them. And then Ren had climbed on top of him and made love to his mouth. Within minutes, Declan was guiding Ren down onto Jagger’s cock and he’d lost the ability to speak as Ren rode him.

Since that night it had been a free for all and it didn’t matter where they were or if they were even all together. They gave and took whatever the other needed in that moment. And last night Jagger had needed to take Ren to the edge over and over. He and Declan had edged Ren until his pleas were no longer comprehensible and only then had they given him relief. He’d passed out before the last of his orgasm had even left his body.

“Vin called this morning. Cade’s awake,” Jagger said.

“Thank God,” Declan murmured.

“He’ll probably be in the hospital for a few more days so they can make sure there’s no permanent damage to his brain. His leg’s broken in a couple of places and he cracked some ribs but they think he’ll be okay.”

“We need to tell Ren about Rafe,” Declan said.

“I know,” Jagger said softly. “He’s still having nightmares and this morning I found him sitting on the floor in his room. He was rocking back and forth and saying he was sorry.”

Jagger saw Declan run his hand over the back of his neck. “Brandon again?”

Jagger nodded. It was a name they’d both often heard Ren say during his sleep but the way in which he’d said it made it clear that whatever had happened to Brandon hadn’t been good.

“I wonder who he is,” Declan said.

“He was my friend.”

Jagger and Declan both turned to see Ren standing in the cabin doorway.

“And I killed him.”

***

Declan shifted on the step and Jagger did the same as Declan reached his hand up. Ren took and it Declan gently pulled him down to sit between them. He watched as Jagger drew Ren up against his chest. Declan kept their hands intertwined and draped his arm over Ren’s leg. Neither of them pressed Ren to speak and at least five minutes passed before he finally did.

“We met in basic training. He was the same age as me and grew up in small town in Indiana. We hit it off right away – probably because we had so much in common. Cars, football. I didn’t even realize things had changed for me until a few years ago. I found myself thinking things about him that didn’t make sense to me. We were as close as two best friends could be but it didn’t seem like enough.”

“You were attracted to him,” Jagger offered.

Ren nodded. “It took me a while to realize it and I tried to deny it because I’d never once been interested in other men. I passed it off as the stress of being in combat. But when he came back from leave and told me he’d gotten engaged to his girlfriend, I was heartbroken. I felt like I’d lost him even though he was right there. Nothing had changed – he was still my best friend.”

“What happened?” Declan asked gently.

“I ignored what I felt. I knew he loved his girlfriend – they’d been together since high school – and he’d never once shown any interest in me beyond our friendship. So when I met Geri I threw myself into the relationship. I convinced myself that I loved her. The day of the ambush I lost track of Brandon so I thought he’d died in the attack. It wasn’t until a week after they put me in that hole that I found out otherwise.”

Tears began to flow down Ren’s cheeks and Declan saw Jagger tighten the arm he had wrapped around Ren.

“They…they threw him down the hole one day. I didn’t know it was him at first because it was too dark but then he said my name. He couldn’t move so I pulled him onto my lap. He kept telling me it hurt over and over again. He was covered in blood – they’d stabbed him at least a dozen times. I thought if I could stop the bleeding he’d be okay but he was in so much pain. But he said he couldn’t feel his legs…”

Declan swallowed hard and lifted his eyes to meet Jagger’s. He knew the pain he saw there mirrored his own.

“I realized the fall must have broken his back. I guess he did too because he…he began begging me…”

Ren seemed unable to continue and he turned his face into Jagger’s chest and howled in agony. Declan released Ren’s hand long enough to shift his position so that he could wrap around Ren’s back.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he murmured against Ren’s ear.

“I didn’t know what else to do. I held him for hours but he kept begging me to take away his pain. He asked me to tell his parents he hadn’t been afraid and to tell his fiancé how much he loved her and that he’d always be with her. And the he told me he loved me and I did it…I broke his neck.”

“He wouldn’t have made it out of there, Ren. He knew that. You did what he needed you to do,” Jagger whispered as he dropped his chin to Ren’s head.

“They left him in there with me for three days. When they finally came to take him away I begged them not to. It was the only time I ever asked them for anything.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Declan whispered. He felt Ren shake his head.

“I never even gave his parents or his fiancé his messages.”

“You will,” Jagger responded. “Someday when you’re ready, you will.”

***

Ren let his eyes drift shut as he felt Jagger’s cock slip all the way inside of him. The tile felt cool against his cheek but he didn’t feel any of the water from the shower on his back because Jagger’s body was covering his from shoulders to ass. But he didn’t need the water to provide the warmth he craved because Jagger’s skin sliding over his as he thrust in and out of Ren’s body gave him all the heat he needed. He doubted this had been Jagger’s plan when he had coaxed Ren into the shower and started gently washing him but it hadn’t taken much urging on Ren’s part for Jagger to concede. In fact, it hadn’t taken anything beyond saying Jagger’s name a certain way. It had been like that for the past two weeks since his impromptu confession about Brandon. He didn’t remember much about the first few days other than having Declan and Jagger holding him between their bodies as he’d alternated between fits of crushing sorrow and bitter silence. When the pain became too much, he would beg them to take it away for a little while and they did. And when his body was sated from their lovemaking, he slept. When the sound of Brandon’s neck snapping had him jolting upright in bed, they soothed him with soft words.

“Don’t stop,” Ren said when he felt Jagger’s still hard dick slip from his body.

“I don’t have a condom,” Jagger whispered against his ear. When he felt Jagger’s hand close around his dick, Ren reached down and forced Jagger to release him. He quickly turned around in Jagger’s arms and wrapped his hand around Jagger and began stroking mercilessly.

“Please Jagger, I need you inside of me. All of you.”

Jagger’s eyes pinned his and Ren saw the indecision there.

“I trust you to take care of me,” Ren whispered.

The words had the desired effect because Jagger reached beneath Ren’s thighs and lifted him. For once Ren was grateful that he hadn’t regained all his weight back because the feel of Jagger pinning him to the wall while he angled his cock into position excited Ren like nothing else. And then Jagger was surging into him. With every upward thrust, Ren’s body slid up the slick tile and as soon as gravity brought him back down, Jagger rammed into him again. But Jagger quickly seemed to grow impatient with the pace and wrapped his arm around Ren’s waist to hold him in place as he pistoned into him. The burning friction and sheer pressure of being stuffed full had Ren closing his eyes.

“Look at me,” Jagger ordered.

Ren managed to open his eyes and he instantly got lost in the emotion in Jagger’s gaze.

“Tell me who you belong to.”

“You and Declan.”

“Always,” Jagger said.

“Always.”

Jagger kissed him hard and then shifted just enough to hit Ren’s gland. Electricity surged through his entire body as his climax rolled over him in waves and every spurt of Jagger’s seed coating his inner walls had him shouting with pleasure. The aftershocks were still curling through him when he found himself being carried out of the shower and placed on the shaggy bathroom mat in front of the huge tub. He started to protest as Jagger released him but then Declan was there and sliding into him. He had no idea where Declan had come from or if he’d been watching but he didn’t care either way. All he cared about was Declan gliding into him over and over as Jagger kissed him. It could have been minutes or hours later for all he knew but another, smaller orgasm overtook him as Declan shoved into him one last time and hung there. More liquid heat bathed his insides and he moaned as he realized that he now carried a little bit of each of his men inside of him.

***

Ren’s body ached as he pulled his shirt on. His ass was still pleasantly sore from what had happened in the bathroom just a few hours earlier but it was his heart that had taken the brunt of the encounter because he’d finally begun to understand that as much as he’d cared for Brandon, the feelings he had for Jagger and Declan went a thousand times deeper. Not once had either man condemned or judged him for what he’d done to Brandon. And though he couldn’t agree with their opinions that he’d done the right thing, he’d accepted that they weren’t going to walk away from him because of it.

He found both men in the kitchen. Declan was cooking something – for dinner probably – and Jagger was setting the table.

Declan noticed him first and quickly tuned off the stove and came up to him. “Ren, Jagger and I are both clean. We each went and got tested at a clinic in town when we went to get supplies. We should have told you before we-”

Ren cut him off with a kiss. Declan kissed him back of course and he didn’t hesitate to follow Ren when Ren grabbed his hand and led him to where Jagger was watching them by the table. He stopped in front of Jagger but turned to face Declan.

“Declan, I love you so much,’ Ren whispered. “Thank you for not giving up on me. I have a future because of you.” He brushed a brief kiss over Declan’s lips but Declan seemed too shocked to kiss him back. When he turned to Jagger he was surprised to see how anxious he looked – like he was expecting bad news.

“Jagger, I want you to belong to me the way I belong to you. The way we both belong to Declan and he to us. I have no idea how this thing between the three of us will work or what people will say but I don’t care. I love you.”

Relief flooded Jagger’s features and Ren realized he had indeed been expecting Ren to say something different. Jagger kissed him hard before dragging Declan forward and kissing him too. When they separated, Ren stepped free of both of them and made sure their eyes were on his when he said, “I’m ready to get help. I want to go home.”