Saving Sara (Redemption #1) (17 page)

Olly’s frown cleared. “That sounds good.”

“But Olly, you need to promise me something. You’ll never run away again. And that if you’re feeling sad or worried, you’ll talk to me. Deal?” She eyeballed him, hoping he’d understand the gravity of the situation without being petrified.

After what seemed like an eternity, he nodded. “Deal. Can I get those extra marshmallows now? Because my legs are mighty sore from all the walking. And I’m feeling kinda sick in my tummy because I skipped breakfast.”

“Let’s go.” Cilla took hold of Olly’s hand and headed toward Bryce, his relieved expression making her want to tear up all over again. “Olly, this is my friend, Bryce.”

“Hi.” Olly raised his free hand. “I’m hungry.”

“Me too, champ.” Bryce fell into step beside them. “Can I join you for breakfast?”

Cilla’s eyes narrowed. Sneaky.

When she glanced at Bryce, his guileless grin didn’t fool her for a second.

“Sure,” Olly said, oblivious to the sudden tension arcing over his head. “Aunt Cilla makes the best food. Totally yummy.”

“I look forward to trying it,” Bryce said, his deep voice
yummier
than anything she could concoct in the kitchen.

Ah hell.

“Wow, is that your car?” Olly tore his hand from Cilla’s and ran toward it. “It’s awesome.”

“I like it too,” Bryce said, and Cilla gladly tuned out as the two males made car talk all the way home.

Olly had ridden shotgun, giving her time to study Bryce’s
profile
. Like that helped the turmoil churning her gut.

He was an amazing man. Beyond the kindness and the
gorgeous
exterior, his dependability drew her to him in a way she’d never thought it could.

After the way she’d treated him, he’d still come through for her in a crisis. No questions asked. No judgment.

As she stared at him, his straight nose, his strong jaw, the hint of a dimple as he chatted with Olly, she knew she’d never found him sexier than at that moment.

When they pulled up outside her house ten minutes later, Olly ran inside to wash up for breakfast. The poor kid really must be starving.

It gave her time to thank Bryce.

Before sending him on his way.

Her attraction to him hadn’t dimmed one iota and she’d be damned if she turned into a masochist over this man.

Seeing him again, observing the kind of man he was firsthand, only served to make her want him more.

And that wasn’t possible.

He opened the back door for her and she stepped out of the car, momentarily blinded by the sun.

“Thanks for helping me—”

Bryce’s mouth locked onto hers, cutting off the rest of her sentence. Stealing her breath. Her sanity. For she kissed him back. Without hesitation. Without reservation.

Until she couldn’t breathe and wrenched her mouth away,
gasping
for air.

They stared at each other in wide-eyed shock, their connection was that powerful.

But it couldn’t be. Cilla had only let Bryce kiss her out of
gratitude
. Yeah, that had to be it. She couldn’t contemplate any other explanation.

“You need to talk to Olly alone now. I get that,” he said,
cupping
her cheek. “But I’ll be at Don’s Diner, waiting for that breakfast you’re going to shout me.”

“You’ll be waiting a long time,” Cilla said, her defiance
tempered
with a smile.

Even now, he was still thinking of her, knowing she wouldn’t see him at his place, choosing a public place to put her at ease.

“Haven’t I already told you? You’re worth waiting for.”

This time, his kiss was soft, gentle and all too brief.

She watched his car until she couldn’t spot it any longer, her head a mess, her heart not far behind.

Bryce confounded her in a way she’d never expected. She’d spent the last twenty years as a happy widow enjoying her independence. She didn’t need anyone for validation and she certainly didn’t need some hot male barging into her life and turning it upside down.

But that’s exactly what Bryce had done and, despite her shabby treatment, he’d been there in a heartbeat when she’d needed him most. That kind of dependability wasn’t lost on her. She admired it. Respected it. So she’d shout him breakfast, be polite and end things between them on a more civilized note. It’s the least she could do after the way she’d overreacted at his place.

Mind made up, Cilla trudged inside, steeling herself for the upcoming conversation with Olly. She’d been lousy with this stuff in the past. Tam had always clammed up when she’d tried to get her to talk and Cilla would be left floundering, trying to fill awkward gaps in conversation with meaningless trivia.

Their relationship now was testament to her failure as a mother, so if she’d made a mess of things with Tam, what could she do with a boy like Olly who had serious abandonment issues?

She had to talk to him before Jake did, though. Had to get more of an insight into Olly’s thought processes before she told Jake everything. He was due back from town any second and she needed all the facts first.

Olly sat at the kitchen table, the picture of innocence. He held up his hands. “All washed and ready for breakfast. And that hot chocolate you promised.”

“You can eat in a second,” she said, sitting next to him. “But first we need to talk about why you ran away.”

Olly sighed so loudly she had to stifle a smile. “I already told you. Nobody wants me.”

“That’s not true, sweetheart. We all love you and want you.”

“Mom doesn’t. I heard Uncle Jake talking to her last night. He said it’d be good for me to stay here, which means she doesn’t want me anymore.”

Oh boy.

“Olly, sometimes we only hear snippets of a conversation. Little bits that don’t make much sense unless we hear everything. Maybe your uncle was suggesting your mom come here too when she’s
better
, because you like it here so much?”

Olly’s eyes widened. “I didn’t think of that.”

“As for listening in on other people’s conversations, it’s not ver
y polite.”

His face fell. “Yeah, I know. But I’d left Teddy downstairs and needed him to sleep.”

“Fair enough.”

So far so good. “As for me being sad, that has nothing to do with you being here. I love having you stay.”

Olly brightened. “Yeah, that’s right. You said I was family, not a guest.”

Cilla nodded. “Exactly. Grownups can be sad for a variety of reasons but you could never make me sad. Unless you run away again,” she threw in for good measure.

His solemnity made her heart swell. “Okay, I won’t do it again. But do you think Uncle Jake and Sara like each other? Maybe they will get married and have kids and then they won’t want to see me anymore—”

“Olly, your uncle loves you very much. And Sara adores you. Whether they have a relationship or not won’t change that. Your uncle brought you here so you could have fun while your mom gets better. And even when you go home, he’ll still be around. He’ll always be around. As I will be.”

Olly clapped his hands. “You mean it? You’ll come to visit me when I’m back in the city?”

Cilla abhorred big cities and avoided New York City at all costs. The hustle and bustle scared her, one of the reasons she hadn’t
visited
Tam. But Olly needed reassurance at a time like this, so she nodded.

“We’ll always stay in touch.” She leaned across to hug him. “We all love you, Olly. Don’t ever forget that.”

He hugged her back and as they eased apart, his stomach gave an almighty rumble.

Cilla laughed. “One hot chocolate and a bowl of porridge coming right up.”

Jake entered the kitchen at that moment, arms laden with
produce
bags. “Thought I could teach Olly how to whip up a
Mexican
feast tonight.”

Since they’d arrived, Olly had taken an interest in cooking. He was always hanging around the kitchen, measuring sugar or flour if she was baking, or wanting to stir the pot. The fact Jake wanted to do this with Olly was the best reassurance he could’ve given his nephew, even if he didn’t know it yet.

“That would be awesome.” Olly leapt from his chair and rushed over to help Jake unpack. “I’m so glad I didn’t run away for long.”

Jake stilled, his gaze flying to Cilla’s. She gave a small shake of her head and thankfully, Jake didn’t push. Instead, he worked
alongside
Olly, unpacking the groceries while she reheated the
porridge
, dished it up and made hot chocolate.

When Cilla glanced at her watch for the fifth time, Jake’s
eyebrow
rose.

“Do you have somewhere to be?”

“I’m going out for breakfast,” she said, glad that Olly was engrossed in eating and couldn’t pipe up with his version of what he thought might be going on with her and Bryce.

“I’ll walk you out then,” Jake said, obviously keen to hear her version of Olly’s running away caper.

Jake waited until they were outside at her car, sufficiently far from the house. “What the hell’s going on? Olly ran away?”

Cilla nodded. “This morning. He didn’t come down for
breakfast
and when I looked for him, he wasn’t anywhere.”

“Damn.” Jake rubbed the back of his neck. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry ’til I figured out whether he’d gone for a walk and got lost, or had actually run away.”

“What happened?”

“I called Bryce. He helped me look. It had only been thirty minutes since I’d seen Olly so we figured he hadn’t gone far.”

Jake slumped, a picture of dejection. “Do you know why he did it?”

“Because he thought no one wants him. Apparently he saw y
ou an
d Sara kissing last night and thought you’d get married, ha
ve kids
and wouldn’t want him around.”

Jake startled. “What?”

“In his mind, his mom’s abandoned him. He’s living with an old lady he didn’t know before he got here.” She patted his arm. “You’re the only constant in his life since Rose went into rehab, so when he thought you were getting close to Sara and could potentially leave him too . . .” She shook her head. “He’s a darling boy but kids tend to build elaborate scenarios in their heads that make them do crazy things.”

“Should I talk to him about it?”

Cilla nodded. “Couldn’t hurt. I reinforced how much we all love him and made him promise not to do it again.”

“Thanks.” Jake hugged her. “For everything. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

“You’d be surprised what we can do when we have to,” she said. “I shouldn’t be long. Having breakfast at the diner.”

“Alone?” Jake smirked and damned if heat didn’t flush he
r cheeks.

“None of your business,” she said, giving him a shove in the direction of the house. “Go give that boy some TLC.”

“While someone else gives you some, hopefully,” Jake
murmured
, but loud enough she could hear.

Ignoring him, she got in the car and drove away.

She didn’t need TLC. She needed a reality check. Or to give Bryce one, more like it.

She could do this. One quick breakfast and she was done.

Easy.

Half an hour later, Cilla realized nothing about sitting across a table from Bryce was easy.

Despite the usual morning bustle at Don’s Diner, they kept up a steady flow of conversation, only stopping to devour pancakes with maple syrup, bacon and eggs over easy.

Bryce pretended that her meltdown at his place hadn’t happened and she was happy to play alongside him in Denial Land. It was a place she knew well. She’d lived there her entire marriage.

Bryce waited until a waitress had refilled his coffee cup before fixing her with a stare that smacked of interrogation. “Are we going to talk about what happened the other night?”

The eggs in Cilla’s stomach curdled. So much for denial.

“Not much to say, really.” She sipped at her water. It did little to ease the tightness in her throat.

“This thing between us isn’t going to go away.” He clasped his hands together and rested them on the table. “I won’t give up on us no matter how hard you push me away.”

Annoyed by the flicker of hope his sincerity sparked, she slammed the glass down harder than intended and water splashed everywhere. “This isn’t the time or place to discuss it.”

“Then name a time and place and I’ll be there.” He leaned
forward
. “We’re adults. We need to deal with this.”

“Don’t patronize me,” she said, wishing she’d never come.
“I know we’
re adults. But what I meant was, there’s no point discussing anything. You and me? Not going to happen.”

To her surprise he stood, fished notes out of his wallet and flung them onto the table. “You’ve got avoidance honed to a fine art. So when you’re ready to face facts and not hide behind your past or whatever excuses you want to dredge up, you know where to fin
d me.”

“Nothing to face,” she said to his retreating back, churlish and childish.

He ignored her and kept walking.

28.

S
ara hadn’t been this jittery since Delivery Boy had asked her out on a date all those years ago.

She’d frittered the day away, alternating between cooking and cleaning the house, determinedly staying indoors to avoid any chance of a run-in with Jake.

Ridiculous, considering she wasn’t a teen anymore and a kiss didn’t mean anything beyond giving in to a spur-of-the-moment attraction. Because that’s what they’d done. Given in to the temptation of a moonlit night, a balmy breeze and an extended dry spell. They’d both admitted as much.

It meant nothing. An impulse. A spur of the moment thing that shouldn’t be given more than cursory attention. But all the dismissive rationalizing in the world couldn’t detract from how amazing that kiss had been. In fact,
amazing
didn’t come close.
Stupendous
didn’t do it justice either.

“Damn it,” she muttered, dousing the bath with bleach and scrubbing harder.

She didn’t want to mull over how astounding that kiss had been. Waste of time, considering she didn’t want to take it further. Because the more she replayed that kiss in her head, the harder it was to ignore how he’d made her feel for a brief moment: like she could envisage a future beyond guilt and sadness and retribution.

Scrubbing until her arms ached and the fumes made her head too fuzzy to think, she followed up her bathroom cleaning frenzy with a total kitchen cleanout. Mindless, repetitive, mundane activities designed to keep her busy and
not
thinking about that kiss.

By suppertime, she’d added watching reality TV and
reading
th
e same p
aragraph repeatedly to her distraction methods. W
hen th
e phone rang, she’d dozed off, so it took her a few seconds to snatch it up and utter a breathless, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

Damn. If she’d been awake and seen Jake’s caller ID, she wouldn’t have answered. So much for spending the day trying to forget that kiss. The moment he’d uttered those three words in his deep, rumbly voice, her body remembered every moment of his lips on hers, his hands all over her.

She managed a sedate, “Hey,” which was better than hanging up, her first instinct.

“Sorry I didn’t get around to seeing you today like I’d hoped.”

“That’s okay.”

Better than okay. If his voice did these things to her insides,
seeing
him in person after that kiss would’ve sent her into meltdown.

When he didn’t speak, she added, “Everything all right?”

“Not really.” His heartfelt sigh echoed down the line and she found herself caring despite her self-talk to keep things platonic after last night.

“You sound overwhelmed.”

“Olly ran away this morning.”

“Oh my God. Is he okay?” Stupid question, because if he wasn’t Jake wouldn’t have waited until now to call her.

“Yeah, he was only gone for half an hour. Cilla realized and found him.”

Sara had taken her eyes off Lucy for a few moments at a
department
store one time and she’d vanished. Those three minutes it had taken to find her at the nearby haberdashery counter had been the longest of her life. She knew the blind panic, the sick stomach, the icy numbness that invaded every cell.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she said.

“I had no idea ’til I got home. Cilla was a real trouper.”

Jake sounded like he’d aged three decades and her heart went out to him.

“Olly seems really happy. Why did he do it?”

There was a long pause. “Apparently he saw us kissing last night, thought we’d get married, have our own kids, and not want him around anymore.”

Stunned, Sara clutched the phone to her ear. “Hell.”

Jake’s dry chuckle held little amusement. “That was only part of it but basically Olly’s got abandonment issues and we had to reassure him.”

“Sure,” she said, a familiar dread curdling her stomach. The dread of a parent worrying over a child. She’d done it with Lucy and had ultimately lost her.

No way could she start worrying about Olly. The fact that she was indicated she’d grown too attached already.

“I’m really glad he’s okay. If there’s anything I can do, let m
e know.”

“Thanks. I was hoping we could go on a picnic tomorrow—”

“Sorry, I’m busy.” It sounded harsh even to her ears so she
softened
her refusal with a legitimate excuse. “I’m under pressure prepping for the fair, so I’ll be swamped for the next week or so.”

“Okay.” Jake sounded wounded and she gritted her teeth to stop from blurting how sorry she was for giving him the wrong idea with that kiss last night. “Talk to you soon.”

“Yeah.” Sara hung up and pressed her fingers to her eyes to stop the sting of tears.

This is what happened when she opened her heart again.

She’d been doing okay the last fifteen months. Coming to terms with her grief. Moving on.

Detachment was good. She’d made progress. But in letting Jake, Olly and Cilla into her life, she’d reopened old wounds.

Her actions had caused Olly to run away.

No way in hell would she be responsible for hurting another child again.

Ever.

With a heavy heart, Sara dragged herself upstairs to bed. N
ot that it would
make much difference. She wouldn’t be sleeping tonight.