Saving The Cowboy (BWWM Pregnancy Romance) (6 page)

Chapter Fifteen - Jasmine

              She felt the heat of his chest under her fingertips and snuggled in closer. No good could come of what they had done, but she wanted it, needed it. She loved him so much it was a physical pain when she had to tell herself he wasn’t capable of loving her back. He was stubborn she could only wonder if he got that trait from his father. Maybe he didn’t know he could love, whatever it was she would try, try to show him how good it could be. She looked up at his face, he wasn’t sleeping, but he was recovering from what they had experienced together.

“At least you don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant.” She smiled at him when he opened his eyes and he smiled back.

“I suppose that is something, isn’t it?” He leaned towards her and kissed her stomach before laying back once more and gently laying his hand on her where he had kissed.

“It’s hard to believe there is a baby in there, our baby.” She gave him a wide smile. “As well as a huge cheeseburger and fries.” She giggled.

“You’re so beautiful when you smile Jasmine, I’m glad you’re happy.” He reached up and moved her hair back, running his thumb along her jaw line.

“I am working on it Parker, you deserve to be happy too you know that Parker, don’t you?”

“I don’t know Jasmine, I don’t know what I deserve, or want…” he paused looking at her. “Or need anymore. Everything is a mess in my head. I just know the only time it makes sense is when I am with you. That has to be a good thing.”

She stretched and ran her hands over his chest. She could seduce him, show him that he wanted her for more than just a baby. She felt his intake of breath as she let her hand travel lower still until she ran circles in the hair below his stomach. She raised up and dropped little kisses on his chest and she soon felt his hand running along her hip. She traveled lower until she moved the sheet covering him and was faced with the magnitude of his arousal. She glanced up at him before loving him with her mouth the way he had done to her earlier. He never told her to stop, but he gripped the sheets until his knuckles were white.

Finally, he stopped her, he pulled her up and guided her above him until he was completely encased in her. He set the pace and she rode him, grinding down hard when she wanted to.

He grabbed her hips with one hand while at the same time using the other to pull her down so that she lay against him. He then used his hands to work her hips over him again and again until he whispered her name and exploded inside her.

She kept going, finding her own release a few strokes later. She collapsed on top of him and she felt his hands against her back slowly stroking along her spine. He raised up lifting her with him until he spun her around and laid her gently on her back. He laid there with her like that, both lost in this world, until sleep came. She waited until she thought he was asleep before she said the words.

“I love you, Parker.” She drifted off to sleep herself, with a smile on her face.

Chapter Sixteen - Parker

He was happy.

He wasn’t sure how to feel about anything but for the moment he was happy. In the last few weeks things at home had been good, very good.

He was still gone a lot getting ready for the next ride. He had a match in a week in Dallas, and he was going to go. Jasmine was more than capable of handling things there, and they had spent almost every night discussing life on the ranch. He knew this new found happiness was temporary for them, but instead of fighting it, he embraced it. When she was gone it would likely kill him, but for now he would just make sure she was safe.

He had slipped into her room to make love the night before he was leaving. It was almost silly the way they snuck around. They were both adults and this was his home, but in some ways he still felt like a child, as if his father would catch him sneaking in a girl the way he had Cathy Mathews when he was 16. She was standing in front of the mirror in her room naked feeling her stomach for changes, a slight puffiness was there, but not much else yet.

Just standing there she was beautiful. She had no idea she was, which made her even more endearing to him. He spun the wedding band on his finger lost in the moment. It was a habit he had developed and one that reminded him of her. He noticed she made a face before she rushed into the bathroom again. She had been sick early on and then nothing, now she was getting sick pretty regularly. He held back her hair until she was done. He wished that he could somehow help her.

“Thanks,” she stood on shaky legs and he noticed how pale she was.

“Maybe we need to stop all of this, Jasmine. I’m worried about you.” He looked at her.

“Well, you’re leaving tomorrow after the appointment with the doctor, so we don’t need to worry about it for a week.”

She smiled up at him as he gave her a quick peck on the nose.  They climbed into bed and he wrapped his arms around her protectively.

              The next morning came and Parker felt the familiar thrill of a prospective ride. He loved riding a bull, it made him feel alive. Nothing had come close to it until Jasmine of course. Life was good, his ranch was secure the baby would be here two months before the deadline and he had a wife. He gulped as the thought crossed his mind. In every way, she was truly his wife. The thought caused a sense of panic to well up in him and he tried to put it out of his mind as he drove them to the doctor.

              The screen came to life as they looked at the baby once more. It was bigger now, but still a non-formed little bean. She said things looked good and they heard the heartbeat for the first time. Parker felt the overwhelming sense of pride at the sound. He had helped create that. The heartbeat somehow made it more real to him and he took the printed picture and put it in his things to take with him on the road. They made their way home both thinking about his trip. Jasmine was overly concerned about this bull riding thing. Her fears were unfounded, he was a professional, but still she told him it sounded terribly dangerous. She told him she would try to watch it since it was a televised event, but he doubted it would happen. The time came for him to leave and she walked him to the door. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but none of them came to the surface. His heart and his mind were struggling to connect and he stared at her, and then leaned down to kiss her goodbye.

              “Be careful. If you need anything James and Becca are both here all week, ok?”

“I know, Parker, go be famous.” She smiled at him and he gave her once last look before he headed down the stairs.

Chapter Seventeen - Jasmine

“He loves you too, you know.”

Jasmine spun around to a familiar voice. Becca was standing there with her watching Parker pull out of the drive.

“I don’t know, Becca, I am trying to show him it's ok, but…” she trailed off.

“He is as stubborn as his father was.” She patted Jasmine on the shoulder and made her way back to the kitchen.

Two days later, Jasmine was bedridden. She had never been so sick in her life and nothing she did made it better. After much prodding from Becca, she agreed to go to the hospital.

“Promise me Becca, promise you won’t call Parker?” Her lips were dry and her face pale as she whispered the words to her.

“I know Jasmine, I know what you said. I won’t call him unless there is an emergency.”  Becca was looking at her, her face filled with concern.

              They admitted her for dehydration and to help get the vomiting under control. She finally was able to get some sleep the first night, but by morning she was in worse condition. She had spiked a fever, and it was increasingly difficult to control. The doctors bathed her down and pumped her full of antibiotics. It was that afternoon when the labor pains started. At first she frantically denied it was happening. When Dr. McCann came, she was forced to listen.

“I’m so sorry Jasmine, but you’re having a miscarriage. The fever came from an infection and the baby was just too small to handle it all. You’re far enough along that you will feel the pressure and have to push ok, but I am right here with you.”             

Her tears were spilling down her face as she cried out in pain. It was too much and she was so alone. Becca was there, holding her hand and wiping away her tears, but nothing would help. It was over soon and the doctors were able to give her something to help her sleep. She drifted off, but not before she cried once more.

***

The morning came and Jasmine stared out the window at the tree branches that swayed with the wind. She couldn’t think, could feel. She simply stared at the tree. Everything she had worked hard to do, for Parker, for her, was gone. The doctors came in from time to time to give her more antibiotics and to help her fever. She was definitely better than she had been when she arrived, but she was numb all over. Becca came to see her and with her came a new wave of tears. She had been like a mother to her throughout all of this. Parker would be devastated, and she had failed. That was as simple of an explanation as she could say.

“I called Parker sweetheart, he didn’t answer and he hasn’t called back yet, when he does, he will come home.” Becca wiped her head with a rag, gently patting her on the arm.

“Just wait, don’t call him yet. Let me get home first. There is no need to ruin his life any sooner than necessary.” She laid her head back down and watched the tree outside.

***

Two days, later Jasmine was allowed to leave. She had managed to put off telling Parker anything. When he called Becca back, she had handed the phone to Jasmine and left to give her some privacy. Once she was gone, she asked how the riding was going.

“It's great Jasmine, I have missed it so much. I miss you, though, and being home.”

He rambled on about things there and Jasmine let the tears stream down her face. “Well, I better go Jasmine, I’m up in a few minutes and I need to find my rig. I… I miss you Jasmine.” He hung up and she sobbed. For his loss and for hers.

              She methodically packed her things at the ranch.

Becca had been in and out of the room trying to convince her not to go, but she refused to listen. She had given Jasmine her word not to call Parker until she was home in New York. She was being a coward more than anything, and she knew it. When he found out he would be devastated and she couldn’t bear that heartache, not when hers was so fresh. James agreed to take her to the airport, not wanting her to be alone any more than necessary. He did his best to comfort her, but she was still numb to anything but the sadness she felt.

***

When she saw her father standing there at the airport, she ran to him, much like when she was a little girl. He hugged her and she cried new tears. She had told him everything already and he had been waiting for her, to take her home to heal. She welcomed the comfort of home more now than ever before. She'd had a baby coming the last time she had been here. Now he was gone. It had been a he, the doctor had told her when she asked. It had been a necessary thing for her to know. To give that small life an identity. She made her way inside and curled up in her bed. It was the first time she could sleep in days.

Chapter Eighteen – Parker

             
He threw back another shot, even the burn did nothing to ease his pain.

He was dying a slow death, nothing else could feel this bad. She had left him. She didn’t wait, didn’t say a word she had just gone. He had come home full of hope, full of love… for her. It would even make sense to deny it now, he was more in love with Jasmine Turner than he had any right to. Two hours ago he had walked into his house and no one was there except Becca. He knew something was wrong the minute he saw her face. She was red eyed and wringing her hands and he felt panic unlike anything he had ever felt before.

              “Becca, what is it.”

              “It’s Jasmine, honey.” She sniffed and he felt his heart stop.

              “Is she ok, please tell me she is ok?” He gripped the chair in front of him until it almost broke.

              “She is ok honey, she is fine.” The relief he felt made him sway slightly.

              “Tell me, Becca, please.”

“Jasmine is gone honey. She got real sick when you were gone. She was vomiting repeatedly until she couldn’t move. I took her to the hospital and she made me promise not to call you, unless it was serious. She spiked a fever, when she did she lost the baby Parker, I’m so sorry.”

He felt the world spinning around him, she was gone… and she lost the baby. Why would she leave and why didn’t someone tell him anything before now.

“I called, Becca. I called her and she let me ramble on about the riding and she didn’t say anything.” His voice broke and he choked back tears. Becca came over to him and hugged him.

“I know, sweetheart, I thought she was going to tell you to come home, I left her alone and when we got home, she told me the truth. She didn’t want to rush you into the pain she was feeling.”

He sobbed and let himself cry, she was gone. She had gone through something horrible and left. The baby... he had loved it before and he felt the loss of it now like a crushing blow. He shook his head and was brought back to the present. It hadn’t been until an hour later, at the bar that he remembered he was also going to be homeless soon. The ranch was his home, his life had been spent there climbing trees and getting into trouble. His father had left him a legacy and he had failed him. No one could be faulted for this, it certainly wasn’t Jasmine's fault. She had not only dealt with the loss, she had felt the life slip from her own body. There was nothing he could do about the ranch, but he could fix something. He grabbed his jacket and dropped a twenty on the bar before he left and headed home.

He found it hard to sleep that night. He had to plan things out just right before they backfired on him. He found Becca in the morning. She was sitting at the table drinking coffee when he walked in. She was about to get up to make his food, but he stopped her.

“How was she, when she left Becca? How was she really?”

He had to know, had to try to understand what she had gone through since he had been away.

“I don’t know if you want the details sweetheart.”

She took another drink and at his insistent gaze, she told him in detail how much Jasmine had suffered. How much pain she had dealt with nothing to help. Most importantly, she told him about how changed, she was when they had made it home.

“She was almost lifeless Parker. The light was gone in her eyes and all she did was cry. She just kept telling me that she failed and that her son was gone for good.”

“It was a boy then?” He asked her as he closed his eyes to fight back the wave of emotion rolling through him.

“Yes, the doctor told us before we left. They asked if we wanted him… to bury and I told them that you would contact them.”

He exhaled slowly before he looked up at her. “I’m going to be gone a day or two Becca.” He stood and she stood with him.

“Where are you going Parker?”

“I’m going to bring my wife home where she belongs.”