They watched as Ramirez handed the other man a bill. The unkempt man shook his hand with both of his.”
Drifts shook his head. “It’s a waste of time if you ask me.”
Taken aback Justin looked at the EMT. “Why’s that?”
“Look I’m not saying I don’t feel for the bitten. Because I do. I really do. The thing is, once a fucking zombie decides to go chomp on their personhood they are left with one hell of a road to hoe.”
“Why’s that?” asked Justin.
Drifts watched his partner talk to the other man. “Well other than the significant medical complications which include weekly dialysis treatments to clean that Zombie infection out of your blood stream, they are shunned by society as a whole. It’s not unheard of for one of the bitten to lose their jobs or their leases after their status is discovered.”
Justin looked stunned. “That’s not right.”
Drifts met his eyes with a sober expression. “No it isn’t, but that fucking doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen all the same. Do you know what the number one cause of death for the bitten?”
“Infection from their bite?” Justin guessed.
“You would think so, but no. The number one cause of death is suicide. The bitten get so much fucking flack that most of them decide to off themselves their first year.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah no shit. Although they’re usually pretty considerate about it. Most of them shoot themselves in the head so they don’t come back. Of course if everyone treats them like they’re going to turn into a Zombie any minute, the last thing they would want to do is prove their persecutors right.”
“I guess not.” Justin admitted.
“If you ask me, I don’t think we’re doing them any favors. We should offer to euthanize them, just to put them out of their misery.”
Justin’s eyes bulged. “That’s barbaric?”
Drifts took a moment to light a cigarette. He exhaled a puff of smoke before he responded. “Are you sure? If you were bitten, and facing this road of sickness and contempt ahead of you, wouldn’t you want that option? I would. If a zombie bit me, I would eat a bullet the first chance I got.”
Justin shook his head. “That seems so final.”
Drifts shrugged. “I guess that’s the fucking crux of it.”
Ramirez opened his door. “The crux of what?”
“The crux of whether or not we’re getting to Brook’s before it closes. Are you done making friends, or can we go now.”
“I was thinking about going back and giving him another hug, but I guess we can go now,” said Ramirez.
Drifts gunned the engine and Triple-Three lurched down the road. Behind them the unkempt man waved goodbye at their taillights.
“What was his deal, Leo?” asked Justin.
Ramirez said, “He’s recently homeless. His wife died six months back and bit him. It was bad enough he had to put her down, but when he had gotten out of the hospital he discovered that his job had fired him, and his landlord rented out his apartment. He’s been on the streets since. He can’t even go to the homeless shelters because the other homeless had threatened to kill him.”
“That’s a hard road to walk down,” said Drifts as he gave Justin a significant look in the rearview mirror.
“It is.” Ramirez agreed.
They rode the rest of the way in silence. Drifts whooped with joy as they arrived at Brook’s with minutes to spare. He leapt out of the cab and smiled at Justin as he ushered the student through the door. “Just you wait. This is going to be the best burger you have ever had.”
Justin grinned. “That sounds awesome.”
Ramirez stepped up to the door and Drifts held up his hand. “You can enter last since you think the burgers here are just okay.”
Ramirez chuckled and motioned his partner on in.
The pretty cashier with dreadlocks held up in a scarf smiled at them as they entered. “Sam. Leo. I was wondering when I would see you again.”
Drifts gave her his brightest smile. “Well wonder no further Keisha. We are here to parttake in your burgers and your delightful company.”
“Well I can’t think of a better way to end my night,” said Keisha. She looked up at the clock. “You boys made it just in time.”
Drifts leaned on the counter appreciatively, “That’s what I like to hear. I think I’ll have-”
His and Ramirez’s radio interrupted. “Triple-Three! Unit Three-Three-Three! Please respond to One-Hundred-Seventeenth and Kirkman code one on a chest pain.”
“Oh come on!” shouted Drifts as he punched in the air.
Ramirez hung his head and sighed. “Let’s go Sam. We’ll have to see you some other time Keisha.”
Keisha watched as Drifts punched the air a few more times. She asked Ramirez, “Is he going to be okay?”
Ramirez regarded his partner for a few moments then shook his head. “Probably not for a little while. He was looking forward to a burger. Come on Sam.”
The three of them hopped into the unit and Drifts snapped, “What the hell! There is no fucking way that we are the closest unit to that call! That is one hell of a haul!” He picked up the mic. “Triple-Three en route to One-Hundred-Seventeenth and Kirkman on a chest pain.” He released the trigger. “Assholes!”
He flipped on the lights and sirens and the entire neighborhood was bathed in strobe lights. Drifts continued his tirade. “You cannot tell me that we are the closest fucking unit!”
“We’re not,” said Ramirez.
“What! How do you know?”
Ramirez shrugged. “There are four rigs between us and this call, but dispatch values your exceptional patient care so much that they gave this call to you. You are, after all, a big softy.”
Drifts shot the medic a withering look. “I liked it a whole lot better when you let me bitch in peace.”
Ramirez smiled. “I figured as much.”
Behind them Justin snorted.
“Hey keep it up back there, and I’ll pull over and set your ass out on the curb. Hell, I bet I could get a decent price pimping your skinny ass out!”
“He’s still in fairly pristine condition. I bet you could get at least two hundred dollars for him,” added Ramirez.
“Oh, at least,” said Drifts.
“Umm, you realize that I can hear you guys talking about me?” Justin asked.
“Quiet kid, we’re talking business,” Drifts told him. “I bet if we go to the right place in town, we could get at least five hundred dollars for him.”
“You really think so?” Ramirez asked over the map book.
“Definitely! We can get more if he still has his cherry.” The EMT looked at Justin through the rearview mirror. “Hey kid, are you still a virgin?”
“No!” Justin said indignantly.
Drifts asked Ramirez in a mock whisper, “Do you think he’s lying?”
“Hey!”
Ramirez shrugged. “Don’t know. Probably.”
“Hey, I am not a virgin. I’ll have you know . . .”
“Quiet!” Drifts interjected as he turned up the volume of the dispatch radio.
“Unit Three-Forty-Two, Three-Four-Two, respond code two to the corner of Matheson and Twelfth for a code two abdominal pain!”
“Three-Four-Two responding!” came the other crew’s voice.
“I knew it! I knew it! I will bet you a hundred dollars that was the hooker outside our first call!” exclaimed Drifts.
Ramirez shook his head. “Sucker bet. Was that Ryan? Keep an ear out and see if he transports.”
“Yeah, that’s Ryan. If it’s bullshit, he’ll do whatever he can to get out of transporting her.”
“We’ll ask next time we see him if it’s her,” said Ramirez.
“You know it is!”
Drifts continued to gripe as he drove the Triple-Three hot down the road. As they progressed north, the hookers and drug dealers became less and less frequent as the street lights grew more and more numerous. The urban sprawl’s rundown apartments gave way to suburban houses and well-tended yards.
Ramirez directed them into a manicured subdivision. They weaved their way through the maze-like streets.
“I think that’s it.” The medic pointed to a house where the outside lights were on and a fat man stood in the driveway waving at them.
“What was your first clue?” Drifts picked up the mic. “Triple-Three on scene.”
He put the rig in park in front of the driveway and the man rushed up to the driver side door as Drifts stepped out.
“Sir, you must hurry.”
With a calculated slowness, Drifts asked him, “What seems to be the problem, sir?”
“It’s my mother. I think she might be having a heart attack. I’ve been trying to get her to see the doctor for a while. I tell her time and again that these pains she’s having are not good for her and that the doctors can help her feel better. She just will not listen to me. No, she has simply let this go on for far too long. She is having a heart attack I just know it.”
Ramirez and Justin stepped around the corner with a medical bag and stretcher. Ramirez asked, “What’s going on Sam?”
Drifts looked at his partner with a subdued expression. “This,” he paused to allow time for all of his unspoken colorful adjectives to be inserted, “Gentleman, thinks that his mother might be having a heart attack.”
Ramirez nodded. “Very well, sir, will you please take us to your mother?”
The obese man nodded, “Yes. Yes. Please come quickly. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.”
Behind his back, Drifts and Ramirez exchanged a look. Ramirez nodded slightly. “Sir, when was the last time you saw your mother?”
“A few minutes ago, before I came out to wait for you.”
“What was her condition at that time?”
Growing impatient, the man said, “I told you already. Her chest was hurting her. She didn’t want me to call the ambulance. She said she didn’t want to trouble you nice people on the ambulance. I told her that she was being silly. This is what you guys do. Am I right or what?”
“You are,” Ramirez said.
“I think I’m beginning to like this lady,” Drifts muttered behind him.
Justin snorted.
The man held open the door and ushered them in. Drifts took the door and motioned him forward. “You’re our guide.”
The man grew slightly unsettled by Drifts’s suspicious gaze. “Uh . . . okay. You don’t need your flashlight, all of our lights are on.”
“Okay,” said Drifts. He made absolutely no attempt to put his titanium flashlight away.
At the threshold, the man turned to face them. “I do not suppose that I could ask you to take off your shoes before you come in? Mother doesn’t like it when people track dirt in on the carpet.”
Ramirez gave the man a flat stare. “I don’t think so.”
“Oh, okay. I didn’t think it would hurt to ask.” He turned to guide them in.
Ramirez caught his partner’s eyes and smiled at Drifts’s incredulous expression. The EMT mouthed the words, “What the fuck, man?” Ramirez shrugged.
They followed their guide in. Drifts made a point to grind the heels of his boots as they entered. The interior of the house itself was immaculate. Down a short hallway, the man guided them to a brightly-lit living room. On a plastic-covered couch, with a pink bathrobe on and curlers in her hair sat a spindly old woman. She was breathing heavily while she massaged her chest.
Her eyes widened as they entered the room. She rounded on their guide. “Louis, I told you not to bother these fine gentlemen! It’s the middle of the night, for goodness sake! What would the neighbors think?”
“Never mind what they would think, mother. I need to be sure that you’re okay. You’re not well.”
“Oh, pshaw. I told you already that I’ll see Dr. Lawrence the day after tomorrow.”
“Mother, I really think that you should let these men take you to the hospital.”
She waved the remark away. “I hardly think that will be necessary.”
“Mother, I . . .”
“Excuse me?” Ramirez quietly interjected.
The old woman met his eyes. “Oh pardon me, sir. What on Earth must you think about us, bickering like this, with nary an introduction? May I get you gentlemen anything?”
“No, ma’am, that won’t be necessary. My name is Leo. This is my partner, Sam, and our paramedic student, Justin.”
She looked at the young man. “A paramedic student. How very interesting.”
“And your name is . . .” Ramirez prompted.
“Oh excuse me. Where are my manners tonight? I’m Mrs. Carolina Browning. You have already met my son, Louis.”
“Well, Mrs. Browning, since we’re already here, may I ask what‘s ailing you tonight?”
“Oh I don’t wish to be a bother.”
“It’s no trouble at all, ma’am. This is what we do.”
“See, I told you, Mother,” Louis put in.
She scowled at her son. “I was not speaking to you, was I?” Her face softened a bit as she looked back at Ramirez. “You must excuse my Louis. He has always been so much of a worrier. When he was in kindergarten, he would stay awake during naptime so he wouldn’t accidentally sleep through me picking him up. I tell you, the minute he got into the car, my Louis would fall directly asleep. Oh my, he used to spend so much time asleep in the garage with my car running so he wouldn’t get hot.