“I’m not. I trust you more than any other man alive.”
His arms contracted, hugging her tightly, then he leaned back and cupped her cheek, looking down on her with a pleased smile. “You can’t know how happy that makes me feel.”
“I think I have a good idea.” He was so handsome, and she couldn’t keep her eyes off his lips, wanting, needing them.
The smile slowly slipped off his face, replaced by an expression of hunger and need. His thumb, trembling ever so slightly, traced her lower lip. “We should try to sleep.”
She didn’t answer, just stared at his mouth, praying he would kiss her. Seconds passed and he didn’t move.
Why wait? Why squander a second of their time together? If she wanted more from him, it seemed she would have to take the initiative.
She stretched up on her tiptoes and placed the tiniest of kisses on his lips.
He groaned, his eyes sliding shut. He stood there, shaking, his hands opening and closing on her back. “Maria, for God’s sake, don’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Because I…dammit I—”
She slipped a hand behind his head and kissed him again.
This time he reacted immediately, his arms pressing her body against his, his mouth devouring hers. He groaned as his hands roamed her back, one sliding down to explore her buttocks.
The unfamiliar caress caused her to gasp and clutch him closer.
For long moments, she immersed herself in his kisses, breathing to kiss him, living to kiss only him.
His wandering hand moved up her body to cup her breast and she stiffened at the arrow of heat setting her body on fire, a needy sound escaping her throat.
He suddenly broke away, abandoning her to the cold, damp air to stand a few feet away, his back to her, his hands fisted at his sides.
“John?” She swayed before regaining her balance. Walking up to him, she lifted one hand to lay it on his back.
But his voice stopped her from touching him. “Don’t you understand? I’m barely retaining control of myself. If you touch me again, I don’t know if I can stop from…”
“From what?” Her question was little louder than a breath.
When he spoke he sounded as if he was in pain, deep, dark pain. “Making you my wife in truth.”
Chapter Ten
She swallowed down the hurt clogging her throat. “You don’t want me?”
He spun around. “I’m
dying
for you.” His eyes burned with an inner fire she craved to feel on her skin.
Maria’s entire body shook. She breathed in deep, trying to calm her nerves, but nothing could stop her from saying what was in her heart. “That makes two of us.”
He went completely still. “What?” He shook his head. “No. Maria, you don’t know what you’re saying. What I want from you.”
To convince him, she was going to have to lay her soul bare.
So be it.
“You’re right, I don’t know what you want or even what I want. I’ve never known the touch of a man on my naked skin. But since the moment I met you, I’ve dreamed of it, imagined it, needed it. I’ve lived with nothing but death and destruction for so long that I had forgotten what kindness was, gentleness. What love was.” She breathed in his scent and nearly melted into a puddle at his feet. “I didn’t know what desire was until you kissed me, didn’t know how wonderful and powerful and scary it could be. And I’m not letting this war take that from me. I’m
not
.”
His face changed, the surprise replaced by hope and passion.
“I’ve learned life is too short, John. Even if I die tomorrow, I want to know what it’s like to love you and be loved by you.”
He remained silent.
“We are two people alone, a nurse and a wounded soldier in enemy territory. Is it too much to ask?” She closed the distance between then and pressed her lips to his skin above the collarbone.
He groaned, his head falling back.
That sound fed the fire burning deep in her belly and she kissed him again, letting her tongue touch and taste him, discovering he was delicious.
His arms came around her, strong and sure, holding her close.
“Please, will you love me?”
“Dear God,” he whispered into her hair. “How could I not?” He dipped his head and caught her lips with his. His kiss was harder than before, his tongue teasing hers.
She let herself go, following where he led with a curious boldness that surprised her. But this was no time to be timid. They might have no more than the next few hours together and she would not waste a moment of it.
They stood in each other’s arms for what seemed like an eternity, exploring one another with hot kisses, gasps and words of endearment.
Then he slowly released her to remove his jacket.
* * *
He’d dreamed of this, of her arms around him, her taste on his tongue, raw desire on her face. John had told himself it wouldn’t happen, that all he could have were his fantasies. She was everything he wanted in a woman—intelligent, kind and daring. She was also everything he couldn’t have. He was a career soldier, she was a nurse. He was the third son of a powerful and ancient family, and she was the daughter of a poor farmer. He was in her debt, while she was determined to save him.
His hands shook as Maria took off her cape, setting it to the side. Then she removed her cap, pulling out the pins confining her hair.
He couldn’t help himself. He wove his hands through the mass of her long brown hair. Released from its pins, it hung down in waves to the bottom of her back. The silky strands caressed his skin and he longed to feel it on his body “My God, so beautiful.” He looked deep into her eyes. “So very beautiful.”
She smiled and leaned toward him, offering up her lips.
“Are you sure?” He searched her face for any evidence of regret or hesitation.
She nodded. “Are you?”
He took hold of her shoulders and leaned down to gaze directly into her eyes. “I don’t want you to regret this. Not ever.”
She brought one of his hands to her lips and pressed a kiss into his palm. “I won’t. Not ever.”
He kissed her again, laying her gently on to the narrow bed. He undid the buttons on the back of her dress and eased it and her underthings down. She was exquisite, with full breasts, hips and smooth skin that could tempt the most disciplined man into offering his undying service. One palm fit itself to the curve of her breast and she moaned, her mouth falling open and her eyes wide. His fingers plucked at her nipple and she shook.
He did it again and again, until she thrashed underneath him.
“You like that?”
“Oh, yes, very much.”
He bent his head and took the nipple in his mouth, licking and sucking.
Maria arched her back, and her hands went behind his head, pressing him closer.
“You taste exquisite,” he said as he moved to the other breast, determined to torment her all over again.
Mindless with pleasure, she didn’t seem to notice him stripping off his clothes. Then he knelt naked between her thighs, his hands cupping her face.
She clutched his shoulders. “John?” Her voice sounded breathless and uncertain. A tone he couldn’t stand hearing from her.
“I love you, Maria,” he whispered, his hips bringing him into contact with her most secret place. “Oh God, how I love you.”
Her hands roved his back and neck, learning his body, and she smiled up at him. “I love you too.”
He paused at her words, his breathing heavy and uneven, his heart full to bursting with love and determination. “No matter what happens tonight or tomorrow, never forget this.”
“How could I?” She kissed every part of him she could reach, his neck, chin and mouth. “I never thought to love any man. Then you came sneaking into my hospital and my heart.”
He stroked her cheek. “I thought I was a dead man and in my desperation I prayed to God to send me an angel. Then you opened the door.”
Tears fell from her eyes. “Love me, please love me.”
John kissed her tenderly, thoroughly. “I do.” His body moved over and into hers, and he kissed her as he took her virginity.
He paused, giving her time to adjust to having him inside her. “Heaven,” he whispered. “You feel like heaven.”
He kissed her until the tears dried and she relaxed a little.
“Now we are one,” he whispered in her ear.
“Don’t stop.”
She rose up to meet him and he growled at her movement, amazed at her passion and boldness.
“As you command.” His thrusts intensified, quickened and sparked a surge of pleasure he hoped to resist until she’d found her pleasure.
She shivered and cried out, but he captured her mouth then joined her in rapture, driving deep.
He held her close, cradled her sweet, soft body with his own and rubbed his cheek against her face.
Complete at last.
* * *
John woke Maria hours later with kisses and whispers in the dark. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I hear movement upstairs. I think it’s time to go.”
A few of her muscles protested as she sat up, but it was an ache she would never regret. “Where are my clothes?” She searched for them, finding nothing but warm blankets and hot male skin.
He kissed her palm and put something in her hand. Her underthings.
She dressed quickly and was attempting to finger comb her hair when the widow appeared at the top of the stairs. The woman didn’t say anything, just nodded at them and left.
Maria and John climbed the stairs.
“Thank you for your hospitality.” She handed the widow a few of the coins Rose had given her.
The widow took the money and handed them each a small loaf of bread. “Good luck.”
They hurried on their way.
The night was dark. Clouds obscured the moon and stars, making it seem as if they were the only two people left in the world. A dangerous illusion.
John took her hand to help her over some rough ground then never let it go.
Dawn had coloured the horizon pink when she saw something, a barrier stretched across the field in front of them.
“Is that barbed wire?”
“Yes.” Rather than slow down to consider the obstacle, John tugged her into a trot toward the wicked line separating Belgium from the Netherlands.
Distant yelling behind them drew Maria’s attention. A single crack broke the morning silence, but it wasn’t lightning. A puff of dirt erupted not far away. It was followed by a staccato of gunfire, echoing loudly as bullets ploughed into the earth all around.
Good God, the Germans were shooting at them.
The barbed wire was still a good distance away, and the soldiers behind them seemed to be running faster than they were.
John pulled her into a sprint.
How long could his leg last under this punishment?
She panted, trying to drag in enough air to keep her muscles moving as they dodged and ducked, but the Germans sounded closer with every passing second.
The ground fell away and they both stumbled and went down hard. She struggled to breathe. Next to her, John pushed himself to his hands and knees and crawled to the edge of the embankment they’d fallen into.
She could hear shots and confused shouting. Replies seemed to space themselves out, as if some were moving farther away.
John poked his head up, but pulled it back immediately. Then he quietly moved to whisper into her ear, “They don’t know where we are.”
“How far to the border?”
“About one hundred and fifty yards.”
“Can we get there before they get to us?”
“We can try.”
“Your leg?”
“Isn’t going to get any better if we stay here, and if we stay here we will be caught.” He took another look behind them. “A couple of soldiers are getting close. I’m going to surrender myself. Once they have me I want you to run for the border.”
She didn’t have to think long about that idea. “No.”
He flared his nostrils at her. “Yes. When they see you making a run for it, they’ll be distracted and I’ll be able to get away.”
“Only if it’s one man who’s guarding you and only if you’re lucky. No.”
He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Damn it, one of us has to make it.”
“That’s what you said the last time.” She prodded him in the chest.
The sound of feet kicking up dirt froze them both into place. Her heartbeat increased to the point she believed it would fly right out of her chest.
Then a soldier tumbled into the depression with them.
John moved faster than she’d ever seen him move. He punched the soldier, grabbed his rifle and bayoneted him in the heart.
It took all of three seconds.
Maria turned away and covered her mouth to keep the scream from leaving her throat.
“Get ready to run,” John said as he checked the rifle for ammunition. He grabbed more bullets off the German and shoved them into the weapon. “Do exactly what I say and do
not
argue with me.”
She managed to nod and that seemed to satisfy him.
He took the rifle, lay down on the dirt at the edge of the depression and began firing.
Maria huddled as far away from him as possible and covered her ears with her hands. Then John was barking at her to run. When she didn’t move fast enough, he grabbed her by the hand and practically threw her up and out of the hole.
She ran as fast as she could for the barbed wire, which seemed much farther away than she remembered.
John ran behind her, though every few steps he returned fire at the soldiers trying to overtake them.
She slowed down to make sure he was keeping up.
“Faster,” he yelled, his face a portrait of anger, aggression and determination.
They reached the barbed wire and he solved the question of how to cross it by dropping the rifle, lifting her up and tossing her over. He grabbed the wire, shoving it down and scrambled across as the Germans continued to shoot at them.
“Run!”
Maria ran as fast as she could, but it wasn’t fast enough for him. He overtook her and pulled her after him, keeping up a punishing pace.
Would they be chased down and shot? She clutched his hand and glanced over her shoulder, certain she’d see death coming at them from all directions.
“Don’t look,” he ordered. “Keep running.”
Her lungs and legs burned. Her world narrowed until all she knew was taking a breath in, a breath out and putting one foot in front of the other.
Finally, John allowed them to slow to a walk, and she realized the gunshots were off in the distance. She looked up at him and he smiled at her.
“We made it.” His grin, though tired, was wide and bright. “We’re free!”
Yes, they were free.
But at what cost?
She squeezed his hand and had to hold back tears. They’d had so little time together and already it was at an end.
She had never felt so alone.
* * *
They reached the town of Breda in the early hours of the morning. Exhaustion sat fat and heavy on Maria’s shoulders, pushing down on her feet, making every step a battle. At the outskirts of town they encountered a few people, who directed them to the British War Office attaché’s residence.
Major Davenport insisted on an immediate report. They told the entire story, from closet to barbed wire.
At its conclusion, the major nodded at her with surprising respect. “The British War Office is aware of Rose Culver’s activities. She managed to get Colonel Smithson out of Belgium dressed as a washerwoman. Amazing.”
He transferred his attention to John. “I’ll need a complete report of your movements since getting cut off from your unit. It will take some time.”
“Yes, sir. I kept a journal.”
“Excellent.”
“I have it hidden in my clothing,” Maria said. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll retrieve it.”
“Certainly, you can use the first room up the stairs, on the right.”
“Thank you” The climb seemed to take much longer than it should have, but then she was very tired. She closed and locked the door then removed the journal from the pouch she’d fastened under her dress. The descent was much easier, but she found herself taking it slowly anyway. Tired legs could collapse unexpectedly.
Halfway down the stairs, she heard something that stopped her instantly.
“…about the young nurse? How long were the two of you on the run together?”
“Three, no, four days. They seem to have run together. Of course, I want our engagement announced as soon as possible.”