Say Nothing... (The Speak Series Book 2) (13 page)

"We'll give her a few minutes." She nods in agreement.

I don't know what's gotten into her. She had that look again. The glazed eyes and pale face. I've already pressured her into therapy so asking her to see a doctor will just set her off again. She's walking toward the table and the color has luckily come back to her cheeks.

"Sorry about that," she says as she sits. "I can be such a klutz."

I wrap my arm around the back of her chair and lean in.

"You sure you're okay?" I ask.

She turns, kisses my cheek and smiles. "Fine. I promise."

Amos makes his way back to the table. Just in time for our food to be served.

"So how long will you be in town?" my mother asks.

"We're only here until tomorrow. We have a show on Sunday. We're taking a red-eye back, just as soon as the guys are done with their set," Amos replies.

"Any plans to play in the states anytime soon?" Vonne asks.

Ari glares at her, and she just smiles.

"We have about two weeks left on the tour. As soon as we're done in Japan, we head back home to London. They'll have a month off before going back to the studio. We have some studio time set up out here. We usually set up some impromptu gigs so they can work out the kinks on their new stuff. When that happens, I'll make sure to let Ben know," he says winking at Vonne.

"That would be great. Thanks," she says giddily.

"Do you not like their music?" Amos asks, directing his question at Ari. She straightens in her seat, fidgeting with her napkin.

"Please, we borderline stalked them our senior year in high school. We've been fans since their first album. Don't let her innocent face fool you," Vonne answers.

Amos chuckles.

"Thanks for that," she says looking at Vonne. Vonne shrugs giving her a sheepish grin.

"As she so eloquently put it, yes, I am a big fan of their music," she answers.

"Well, then it's settled. As soon as we're back in town, I'll make sure to contact you."

Ari nods in response and drops her eyes to her lap.

"Yeah, that sounds good. We'd love to go. Just give me a call," I say, breaking his appraising glare of my girl. He stares at her a beat longer than I'm comfortable with. His eyes finally pull away, and he brings his attention to me with a nod.

"Sure thing," he finally answers in his phony British accent.

The rest of the dinner is uneventful. Ari withdrew from the rest of the night’s conversation. She offered a quick nod here and a smile there when required. We all decide to call it a night and walk in a group toward the exit.

I can't take much more. I attempt to pay attention to the conversations that surround me, but I'm only able to offer a nod. The exchange both in the hall and at the table has shaken me. It's taken all of my strength not to run. I've felt his eyes on me tonight, and I pray that I'm the only one who’s noticed. Ben is the only thing that separates us, and every time he shifts in his seat, I feel myself doing the same.

I breathe a sigh of relief when everyone stands from the table, signaling our departure.

"C'mon, babe, we're leaving," Ben says offering his hand. I take it and stand from my seat. "Ready?" he asks. I nod following him out.

We say our good-byes to his mom and Andrew. She was personable for once or it could be that I was too out of it to care. I'm pulling out of a good-bye hug with Andrew as Vonne approaches. She and Eli seem happy, and I hope that whatever they've decided to do works out. She pulls me into a hug.

"I hope you’re not too mad at me," she says low enough so only I can hear.

I nod. "We're good."

She breaks our hug, holding me at arm’s length. "I don't think you are, but I hope you'll tell me what's going on with you soon," she says pulling me in again and giving me a tight squeeze.

The smile I've managed to keep plastered across my face never wavers as I reassure her that I'm fine. Eli sidles up to us, and we exchange a quick good-bye.

I notice Amos's hand on Ben's shoulder as I walk toward them. His eyes lock on mine as I approach causing Ben to look over his shoulder in my direction.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says lacing our fingers.

"Ari, it was lovely to see you again," he says proffering a hand. My grip on Ben’s tightens, and I reluctantly offer my free hand not wanting Ben to think I'm being rude. He brings my hand to his mouth lightly kissing my knuckles. His eyes lock on mine.

It all happens in slow motion, and it takes a few seconds for my body to jolt in reaction. I quickly retract my hand from his grasp.

"You too. Ben, are you ready?" I ask tugging him toward the car.

"Have a safe trip," Ben calls over his shoulder as he tries to keep up with my quick strides.

I sink into my seat and wipe the back of my hand on my dress before Ben gets into the driver’s seat.

"What was that about?" he asks.

"What?"

"You practically sprinted to the car, and you've been acting off all night. What's going on?" The cogs start moving into overdrive.

"Nothing. I’m sorry . . . I just feel a migraine coming on and wanted to get home. You know I have a busy day with work and my appointment tomorrow." He looks at me quizzically. Then he leans in to kiss my cheek.

"Okay, let's get you home."

We drive home in companionable silence. I may have faked sleep to keep him from questioning me further.

We get home about an hour later. I go through my nightly routine, and Ben is already in bed when I get there. I crawl in next to him and wait for the string of questions he's been dying to ask me.

He wraps an arm around my waist bringing me closer. My back to his front, I'm nestled snugly in his arms.

"I love you," he whispers across my bare shoulder. I close my eyes, keeping the tears at bay.

"I love you too," I whisper back trying to keep the tremble from my voice.

Morning, as usual, comes too soon. I wake to the sound of the neighbor’s car alarm and my favorite foghorn. I really do need to change that damn ringtone. Ben mumbles a good morning, and I kiss his cheek before getting in the shower.

A fresh "I love you" written into the fog of the bathroom mirror makes me smile as I exit the shower. The smell of coffee wafts down the hall, and I change quickly, desperate to grab a cup. I walk toward the living room and grin when I reach the end of the hall. Ben is sitting on the couch shirtless with a bowl of what I can only suspect is Lucky Charms.

He's sporting a great case of bed head and is wearing his black rimmed glasses watching what sounds like the morning news. My hands are itching to run through his messy black hair, and I have the sudden urge to say "fuck work" and curl up next to him. He catches me ogling him and grins.

"Morning, sunshine."

"Morning," I mutter, walking into the kitchen.

"I already fixed your coffee. It's in your green travel mug," he calls out from the living room.

I take a sip and let out a sigh. He has it down to a science—just the perfect amount of vanilla flavored cream and sugar.

Twenty minutes later, my hair is combed, makeup is on, and I'm ready to go. Ben is still sprawled out on my couch, and he looks so damn hot I want to jump him.

"Okay, I'm gonna go. I'll call you later," I say reaching for the door handle.

He jumps up and meets me at the door.

"That's it?" he asks staring at me. "No good-bye kiss or I love you, babe. Just an I'll call you later?"

I pout like a petulant two-year-old and look up from under my lashes. He chuckles and wraps his hands around my waist bringing me to him.

"What's the matter? I let you get away with the silent treatment last night. I'm not playing this game with you again today."

Everything is wrong. Your fucking pervy uncle is back to torment me, and I don't want to go to work today. I just want to stay in my pajamas, curled up on the couch crying into a glass of wine. But I fucking can't. I want to scream. My internal monologue is starting to grate on my nerves. So I do what I do best; I say nothing.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." He lets out a frustrated sigh and brings his hands to my face. He angles it so I have to look him in the eye.

"I don't want to fight with you. That's the only reason I'm not pushing you. I need you to promise that if you're not going to talk to me then you'll talk to the therapist. I can't continue to stand by and watch you like this and not do anything about it." I nod.

"Do you hear me?"

"Yes," I finally answer. He kisses my lips gently, and a lump in my throat forms.

I turn and walk out the door before he notices my bottom lip begin to tremble.

"I love you," he calls after me.

"You too."

I CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND
her and yell out in frustration. I don't know what to do. Something has changed, and she won't talk to me. She's holding back, and I don't understand why. We take two steps forward only to take five back.

Thankfully, my internship starts on Monday because having all this free time to just dwell is driving me completely out of my damn mind. I change into my workout gear, grab a water and my headphones, and head out. I have too much pent-up energy to stay locked inside the apartment today. A long workout usually does the trick.

Two hours later, I'm walking out of the gym a dripping mess. My muscles are screaming at me, but it's kept my mind off her. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

I check my phone for any missed texts or calls and nothing. As I get into my car, my phone rings, and I excitedly answer it thinking that it's her.

"Hello?"

"Hello, sweetheart. You sound happy to hear from me."
Well, shit.

"Hi, Mother."

"Well, that was short-lived. There is the tone I'm used to."
Here we go.

"I'm sorry. I was just hoping it was Ari."

"That's why I'm calling. Is everything okay with her? She was acting very strange yesterday." I roll my eyes.

Leave it to my mother to take me back to feeling stressed in just a matter of minutes.

"She's fine, Mom. She just wasn't feeling well."

"I noticed. She looked a little pale, too. Now, I don't want you to get angry for asking, but do you think maybe she's using drugs?"