"So what did you think?" she asks leaning in.
"I think I need to up my game at the gym. Did you see those girls?" She giggles and takes another sip of her drink. Her cell phone lights up the table, and she smiles down at the screen.
"He's on next."
The room goes black, and my eyes immediately focus on the center of the stage. A figure of a woman takes her place in front of the vintage microphone, and we wait in anticipation. A spotlight turns on and she parts her ruby red lips and begins to sing. She looks like she just stepped out of a 40's pin-up ad with her fitted black dress and long white gloves. She’s wearing a red rose in her perfectly coiffed dark hair.
The first few notes are sung acapella making the hairs on my arm immediately stand at attention. The band follows a few seconds later, and it takes me a moment to recognize that it's a bluesy version of Radiohead's “Creep.”
I'm left in complete awe after the five-song set. The room is up on their feet and a silly grin spreads across my face at the thought of coming back with Ben. Taking my seat, I throw back the last of my champagne. The buzz of the music and my second glass starts to take effect. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy and am about to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room when I notice Natalie's eyes light up. A dopey smile spreads across her face.
"Ladies," a husky voice says from behind. A chill immediately runs down my back.
No fucking way.
I grip the edge of the table and say a silent prayer that my ears are deceiving me.
He makes his way around the table, cradles Natalie’s face and leans in for a kiss. She melts into him, as his gaze holds mine. He pulls away after a beat and wraps an arm around her shoulder. She beams up at him, and I feel like I'm going to vomit.
"Ari, this is Gabe. Gabe, this is Ari."
"Amos?" It's out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop it.
Natalie's eyebrows furrow as she looks back and forth between us.
"Amos? Wait, you know each other?" she asks nervously.
He leans in and kisses her cheek.
"Yes. She's dating my nephew, Ben. My family calls me Amos. I go by my middle name for work." Natalie's shoulders sag in relief and mine seem to touch my ears with tension.
"What a small world," she says still beaming at him. I don't know where to run, and I have to maintain the fake smile I'm currently sporting.
"So did you ladies enjoy the show,” he says, eyes still trained on me.
I look away nervously as Natalie responds for us.
"She's a beautiful singer. We loved it."
He smiles smugly.
"I've been working on getting her signed. As soon as I finish setting up the studio here in L.A., we'll start recording some demos."
He’s moving here?
I jolt at the thought. I feel my expression drop and recover quickly to keep the look of shock off my face.
"If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go grab a water," I say sliding off the stool.
"Why don't you just wait for the waitress?" Natalie asks.
"I'm feeling a little dizzy from all the champagne. I'm good. I'll be right back."
I rush through the large crowd and make it into the ladies’ room. Locking myself into one of the stalls, I allow myself to have a mini freak-out. My heart is racing, and I know a panic attack in eminent. Concentrating on taking deep breaths, I stand there for a minute shaking out my hands.
You got this.
Someone begins to knock on the stall door.
"Just a minute." Flushing the toilet, I make my way out of the stall as the impatient knocker shoulders past me muttering, "About time," before making her way in.
Bitch.
I check the time on my cell; Amos still has another set, and there is no way I can sneak out without making Natalie suspicious.
Hoping to buy myself some time, I head over to the bar. I'm waving down one of the bartenders when two arms grab hold of the bar top on either side of me caging me in. My chest is pressed firmly into it as my adrenaline spikes and warm breath makes its way up my neck. "You don't have to worry, sweet girl. I'm taking care of her just like I took care of you.” My traitorous body is frozen to the spot. “I crave having you in my arms again.” The bartender finally makes his way over, and my mouth opens and closes before he orders. "She'll have water."
He buries his nose in my hair breathing me in, and as my life is imploding on itself, I imagine that to everyone around us, we look like a couple in love. "Mmm . . . you’re just as beautiful when you’re sleeping. Did you know that?"
He's too close and I've regressed to that scared seven-year-old, struggling to find her voice. "Le . . . Lea-ve me alone." My voice comes out weak and shaky.
"Not until you're mine." Pressing a hand to my stomach, I feel his hardness as he grinds his hips against me. "Soon," he says placing a kiss on my bare shoulder, leaving me a shaking mess. My fight or flight response finally kicks in and my legs move of their own accord. I push and shove my way through the crowd of people until I reach the sidewalk.
Hands on my knees, I struggle to take a breath. I'm dizzy and too concerned with not passing out to notice anyone around.
"Ari?"
I look up, and Rudy steps in front of me.
"Hey, it is you. You okay?" I shake my head as warm tears stream down my face.
He looks over my shoulder, waving off someone behind me.
"Go ahead, I'll catch up," he calls out. I turn to see a group of guys staring at us.
"Oh, my God," I say wiping at my face embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, go ahead. I'll be fine." My hands are still shaking as I frantically dig through my purse for the valet ticket. He wraps a hand around my wrist, gaining my attention. I stop and meet his eyes.
"You're not okay, and you shouldn't drive when you're this upset. Let me drive you home."
"I couldn't. You're just getting here and your friends-” He pulls the valet ticket from my hand without another word and walks away.
As I pull out my phone to text Natalie, I notice she's already left me a message.
Natalie: Gabe told me you were feeling sick. I hope you feel better. See you Monday.
I'm still staring at the screen in disbelief when the valet pulls up in my car. Rudy calls me over, and I get into the passenger seat.
Ben.
How will I explain this to him?
The tears come quickly as I think about what I'm going to do.
"Where to?" Rudy asks as he slides into the passenger seat.
"I don't know. I can't go home, my cousin. I just- Can we drive for a bit?" He has to think I'm a crazy mess. I can barely put a sentence together.
"I'm sorry," I mutter.
"What happened?" he asks. I wipe at my face, taking a deep breath. Where do I start . . . the whole situation is insane.
"Is it your boyfriend?" He looks over and the genuine concern breaks my heart. I don't deserve for him to still care about me. I shake my head.
"It's complicated. If Ben knew- I can't hurt him." He nods.
"Where is he?"
"London."
"For how long?" he asks, and I shrug.
"They just extended his internship until the end of the summer, but he's not sure what he wants to do."
He's quiet for a minute, and we both stare out the windshield in thought.
"Whatever it is you’re keeping from him, you should tell him. It would kill me to know you were keeping something from me that made you this upset." I nod knowing that he's right, but I'm still too much of a coward to confess the truth.
We drive for a while, and I'm thankful he lets me work out what I need to in silence. I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts that it takes me a minute to realize we've parked. I look up and see the lights of the Santa Monica Pier.
"I remember this being one of your favorite places." I offer him a weak smile as my eyes well up with fresh tears.
Vonne and I used to drive out here every chance we got. We'd gorge on junk food and ride the Ferris wheel until we were almost sick. I love it here, and I can't believe he still remembers.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry again."
"No, this is sweet. Thank you." He reaches over and wipes at my cheek with his thumb. My body stiffens at the intimate gesture.
"It's not what you think. I know you have a boyfriend. I just-" he says pulling his hand away. My phone starts to ring breaking up the awkward moment.
"Hi," I answer.
"Hey, I just wanted to call to let you know I'm staying out here. The girls talked me into coming out with them and I'm too drunk to drive home. They're letting me crash in one of their rooms. Are you okay?"
The music is blaring in the background, and it's my saving grace because she'd be able to tell by the tone of my voice that something is wrong.
"I'm fine, Letty. Have a good time."
"I'll see you in the morning."
I clutch the phone to my chest. The thought of going home to an empty apartment scares me to death.
"I can't go home."
"You can stay with me," he offers. I didn't realize I had said that out loud, and my eyes widen in shock at the suggestion.
"No. I mean . . . I'm sorry. Thanks for the offer but I . . .”
"Ari, it's late. You’re upset. My apartment is just down the street. I have a guestroom, and it's yours. Just say the word."
My mind scrambles for an alternative, but I know I have none. He's right; it's late and driving to my parents at this hour would only worry them. Defeated, I nod and he takes that as my answer. He pulls the car out of the parking space, and just like with the valet, he's made the decision for me. It's exactly what I need tonight. My brain is fried, and I want nothing more than to shut it off, curl up in a blanket, and just sleep.
We pull up to a group of condos just down the road. Punching a code into the monitor, we wait as the gate rolls up allowing us access to the underground parking. I'm silent as he locks the car and we take the elevator up to the street level.
We walk the plant lined pathway past the pool and tennis courts. He takes the few steps up to his front door. I follow him inside and the view takes my breath away. His townhouse sits right on the water.
"It's beautiful," I murmur. The decor is straight out of a model home and only a few boxes linger in the hall.
"Sorry, I've only been here a month. I haven't had a chance to unpack everything yet."
"Congrats on making the team. This is a really nice place."
He was here for a tryout with the Galaxy the last time we spoke, and I knew he would make it. He's an amazing soccer player.
"Thanks," he says a little embarrassed. "Are you hungry? Can I get you something to drink?" He steps into the kitchen opening the fridge and random cupboards. I can tell he's nervous, and if my racing heart is any indication, so am I.
"No, thank you." We stand awkwardly staring at each other for a beat. "Uh . . . do you want me to show you the guest room?"
"Yes, please." I just need to lie down; lock the door and forget this night ever happened.
He leads me up the flight of stairs to the second level. There is a short hallway, and I follow him through a door on the right. A queen-size bed sits in the middle of the room. Sliding glass doors line one of the walls, and I can see the flickering lights of the pier through the sheer drapes that fall from the ceiling. Walking past him, I open the sliding glass and make my way to the balcony outside. Gripping the railing, I close my eyes and inhale the salty sea air.
"I brought you these in case you wanted to change." I look over my shoulder and he's standing in the doorway with a t-shirt and what looks like basketball shorts.
"Thank you," I say taking the clothes from his hands. "For this. For letting me stay. For . . . just thank you."
"You're welcome. I hope you'll get a good night's rest and that whatever is bothering you will work itself out." He leaves the room closing the door behind him. Making sure to set the lock, I change into the clothes he left and climb into bed, tossing and turning until I fall asleep.
The sound of my phone jolts me out of bed. I scramble to get to my purse and answer on the last ring.
"Where are you?" Letty screams into the phone.
"Shit, what time is it?"
"It's nine. I've been calling you for the last hour and you haven't answered. Then I get to the apartment, and you’re not here. You scared the crap out of me."
"It's a long story. I'm fine. I'll talk to you when I get home. I'm leaving now."
I crack the bedroom door open and peek my head out. The coast is clear, so I begin my search down the hall for a restroom.
Bingo.
I look at my tear-streaked face and thank God I have a chance to clean myself up before facing Rudy. Using the hand soap, a tube of toothpaste, and a hair tie, I'm able to pull myself together. Opening the door, I run smack into a wall of muscle.
"Shit." I hold the door frame to steady myself as he takes a step back into the hall. His t-shirt is stuck to him like a second skin, and his hair is mussed and sweaty.
"Sorry, I thought you were still asleep. I just got back from the gym, and I was just gonna grab a quick shower."
"Don't apologize. I'll get out of your way. My cousin-"
"Letty?" he interrupts.
"Yeah, she's in town and staying at my house." It’s been so long that I forget he’s met most of my family.
"Wait a few minutes and I'll walk you out." I want to protest, but he's been so sweet; I don't have the heart to say no.
"Okay." Heading back into the guest bedroom, I quickly change into my clothes leaving the ones he lent me folded on the nightstand. I've just finished making the bed and am placing the last pillow in place when he walks in.
"You didn't have to do that."
"It's the least I could do."
"Do you want something to eat before you head out?"
"No, thank you. I'll grab something at home."
"Okay."
He turns toward the hall, and we walk back to the car in silence. I hate that it's been weird between us. We step in front of my car and he hands me my keys, holding my gaze. I lean into him for a hug and catch him off guard. His body relaxes, and he reciprocates giving me a tight squeeze.