The decision to proceed as planned became that much more obvious.
The next morning Frankie woke to see snowflakes fluttering outside her window. Normally the sight of snow would bring joy to her heart, but not today. Waking today was dreadful; and it would prove to be the worst day of her young life.
Slowly, she crawled out of bed and walked to the window. Outside she saw her father defrosting the Impala and removing the melted snow from the windshield with a brush. She didn’t want to go.
Why I am caving in?
she thought.
Why aren’t I standing up?
But she weakened under the pressure. Her parents’ reason made sense, but then what truly made sense when it came to love?
She wasn’t in the mood to dress, so she just put on the nearest clothes she could find—a pair of jeans and a pink sweater. As Frankie pulled on her socks, she looked up at her wall where the pictures of Alex had been before she ripped them all down. She missed him terribly.
Reaching between her mattresses she pulled out a photograph of him. It was a picture he had sent in one of his “fan” letters. He looked like a normal guy, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, proudly leaning against his new car. Frankie turned the card around to read his inscription: “Someday, I’d like to take you for a ride.” Beneath it he had drawn a goofy smiley face.
What a nerd
, she thought.
Her mother knocked on the door and then entered. “Are you ready?” Geraldine asked.
Frankie slipped Alex’s picture in her purse and sighed gruffly. “How can I possibly
ever
be ready?” she muttered.
“Honey, we talked about this,” replied Geraldine. “It is for the best.”
“But not what’s best for the baby,” said Frankie spitefully as she grasped her circle suitcase.
Outside, Marcus opened the back door for Frankie, but could not make eye contact with her. He didn’t want her to see the tears in his eyes. It was the worst possible day he could imagine. Ever since Frankie had been born, he had looked forward to being a grandfather to her beautiful children. He could hardly believe that he, along with Geraldine, had come to this decision for Frankie.
Frankie climbed inside and sat alone in the back seat, while Geraldine took a seat alongside Marcus in the front. As Marcus drove along the well-to-do suburban streets, Frankie looked out the window to see children happily building a snowman. Tears flooded her eyes when she realized there would be no snowmen for her unborn child.
The ride to the hospital was hell for all. Everywhere Frankie looked there were mothers with their children. She was being denied the ability to become one of them
. How unfair and cruel the world is,
she thought. Her mind wandered back to that day in the doctor’s office when she had seen that beautiful little boy who reminded her so much of Alex. She suddenly felt the urge to cry and had to stifle her gasp with her hand to keep from sobbing.
When they arrived at the doctor’s office Marcus opened the door for Frankie to enter. She moved slowly into the lobby where Dr. Joe was waiting. He looked as grim as the entire Robinson family. No one was happy about what was to happen within the hour.
“Come with me, Frankie,” Dr. Joe said gently.
Suddenly Frankie turned to her parents. “Please!” she begged with tears cascading from her eyes. “Please don’t make me do this! Please, I want to keep my baby!”
Marcus turned away and started to cry as he walked to the waiting room, while Geraldine put her arms on Frankie’s shoulders. “Sweetheart, we talked about this in great detail. The two of you are too young and too immature to be parents. You must consider your career, your reputation, not to mention the potential dangers involved. Trust us, honey, it’s for the best.
..”
“Mom, please,” Frankie sobbed, barely able to talk. “I love him; I don’t want to kill his baby.”
“Frankie, stop being so dramatic,” she said, trying to calm her daughter down. “If he really cared, he’d be here. He wouldn’t give up on you so easily.”
“But he didn’t, Mom. Please give him chance, give him a chance,” said Frankie pleading.
A nurse and Dr. Joe pulled Frankie gently into a room where the procedure was to be performed. Frankie resisted, pulling away from everyone who was touching her. “No! No! Please no!”
The nurse finally injected Frankie with a tranquilizer. Frankie fell limp and helpless on the floor. All three—Geraldine, Dr. Joe, and the nurse—hoisted Frankie onto the table. Dr. Joe lifted the stirrups and strapped in Frankie’s ankles. He turned to Geraldine and said, “We can take it from here.”
“Be careful with her,” she said as a few tears began to stream down her face.
“Of course,” said Dr. Joe.
Geraldine exited the examination room and watched the door close behind her. For a second she wondered if she was doing the right thing for her daughter. But then she remembered she had to remain steadfast. Frankie was so gifted and had so much potential. Geraldine was not going to let Frankie throw it all away. She wanted Frankie to have the career that her mother never had.
Upon entering the waiting room, Geraldine found Marcus slumped over, sobbing. She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Now I know where Frankie gets her drama from,” she said lightly.
“It’s my baby girl . . . my baby girl’s baby,” he choked. “We are killing our grandchild.”
“Marcus, we talked about this,” said Geraldine. “Sometimes parents need to make hard decisions for their children—decisions that children are not capable of making for themselves.”
Marcus grabbed Geraldine’s hand. “I hope you’re right,” he said.
Frankie woke up in her own bed a few hours later. Despite being awake, she felt like she had died. Her life was never going to be the same again. She rubbed her abdomen and cried. “I tried to save you. I really did.” she murmured to her the baby that was once in her body. “Please forgive me.”
Marcus entered with a bouquet of flowers and set them next to her bed.
“What are those for?” Frankie asked in a spiteful tone.
“Get well soon,” he said, still having hard time looking at her.
“Ha!” Frankie grunted and looked away from him. “I will never be well again.”
“Sweetheart . . .” Marcus began.
“Dad, can you please leave me alone?” asked Frankie. Marcus stood up and was a few steps from the door when Frankie spoke again. “You know, you and Mom have absolutely no clue what you have done. You don’t know anything. You don’t know Alex; you don’t know me. You forced me into this because this was what was best for the both of you. You didn’t want to tell the world you had a slut for daughter.”
Marcus turned around to face Frankie. “That is not true.”
“It is true. You think I’m a whore!” said Frankie. “And Alex? God knows what you think of
him
. But you’re wrong,”
Marcus sat at her bedside and said, “Well then, explain it to me.”
Frankie sat up in bed despite the pain in her lower body. “My entire life I felt different from everyone else. While my school friends were having sleepovers and pizza parties, I was taking ballet and singing lessons. While my friends were hanging out after school listening to records, I was working on the show. There was never anyone for me to relate to. I always felt so alone.”
“You had friends,” replied Marcus. “What about Tim? He’s a great friend.”
“He is a good friend and a fun guy to hang out with, but he really didn’t know me. The only person who really knew me, who understood me, was Alex. When I met Alex, I wasn’t alone anymore.” Frankie started to cry. “And now he’s not going to want to have anything to do with me. He was the best friend I ever had and now you and Mom ruined it.”
Marcus laid his hand on Frankie’s thigh for comfort. “There are many men out there who will be better friends to you than Alex. You are a lovely, loving girl for whom many men fall at their feet to be with.”
Frankie turned away and shook her head. “You don’t understand. It’s not about men wanting to be with me; it’s about who I chose to be with. Who I love, not who loves me. I love Alex. He loves me and you killed everything between us.”
Marcus held Frankie’s hand...
“I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me,” he said. “But know this: I will love you forever. You are my little girl and you always will be.” As Frankie burst into tears, Marcus couldn’t help but put his arms around her. “I promise you, it will be okay. Everything will be okay.”
Nothing was okay. Despite the good news—her film contact has been extended and she was signed for a modeling deal—Frankie found it all to be trivial. The only option that appealed to her at all was spending a couple weeks with the USO in Santo Domingo. Four weeks in the sunshine far from home sounded like the type of escape she needed. If she survived Christmas, of course.
Christmastime at the Robinson house was usually full of merriment. Marcus always dressed as Santa Claus for all the neighborhood kids and cousins. There were skits and songs and everyone had a grand old time, especially Frankie. She loved helping her father—playing his elf, giving sweets to the children, and caroling all the favorite tunes.
This holiday season, Frankie wanted nothing to do with Christmas or her father. That was fine with Marcus, since his heart was still aching. Even though Frankie was at home, she spent Christmas apart from her family. The sweet smell of
gingerbread
sickened her and the children’s laughter became annoying. Frankie spent most of the Christmas holiday alone in her room watching the snow fall and staring at a picture of Alex.
Alex, meanwhile, was having the worst vacation of his life. It wasn’t that Sarah’s company was so bad—she provided enough of a distraction for him from the breakup with Frankie—but it simply wasn’t the vacation he had planned to share with the girl he desired most in the world.
He had planned to be married and become a father soon thereafter when the rug was suddenly and inexplicably pulled out from under him. Before he knew it, none of his former plans remained. Reclining on the beach, he wondered where it had gone all wrong and (correctly) assumed that someone (Frankie’s father) had found out about the pregnancy and indeed caused their separation.
Alex’s mood swung from complete dejection to anger. He was hurt that Frankie would betray him and angry that she would choose her father’s will over his in this matter. But sadly no one knew the truth: he had been looking forward to being a dad. He felt so ready to paint a nursery and teach a little one how to walk and talk. As crazy as his life was, the simple act of being a father was what had attracted him to fatherhood the most. And now he was left with absolutely nothing—completely cut off from the woman he loved and with no knowledge of her whereabouts or her condition.
Sarah knew even less than Alex; she was just happy to have him to herself for a while—no band mates to deflect his attention, no screaming fans. For one week Alex was completely hers. And she honestly cared little if he seemed a little moody; that was normal for Alex.
She sat alongside him on the beach chair and listening to the transistor radio she had positioned in the sand above their heads. A Dark Knights song, “Committed,” played:
Committed I am to you like no other
Committed they’d sentence me if they were to bother
How could it be a crime to love someone so true
With heavy convictions if they ever knew.
“Listen honey, they’re playing your song,” said Sarah proudly.
Alex turned off the radio. “It’s not my song; it’s Robbie’s”
Sarah studied him carefully and then retrieved a fashion magazine from her beach bag and started to mindless flip through the pages. Occasionally she would glance over at him. His sunglasses covered most of his expression and it was hard for her to tell if he was having a good time or not. Finally she asked, “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked dryly.
Sarah shrugged. “I’m just checking. Sometimes you’re just so quiet I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
Alex turned over onto his stomach and buried his face in his arms. “When you need to know what I’m thinking, I’ll tell you,” he said.
“Okay,” Sarah said sweetly as she turned the page of her book. And then a dead silence swept over the shore. She looked out to sea as if searching for an answer as to how to reach Alex. He was always so far away mentally, especially when he was so close physically. But she never wanted to push him too hard, fearing that if she did she’d push him away.
Upon returning to England, Alex hoped to have heard from Frankie, whether from a letter or in a message through Darren; but there was nothing. His heart was aching and he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t somehow find out how she was doing. Attempts were made to call Frankie, but he hung up every time Marcus or Geraldine answered. He was never lucky enough to get Frankie on the phone.
While the Dark Knights were preparing for a radio show, Alex decided to pursue a different angle. Seated with the band, he asked Nick and Peter, “Have you guys heard from Cassie or Gillian lately?”