I shook my head and was tempted to hit her in the face again, but she was already bleeding. I was certain I had busted her lip and nose. “Bitch, I thought you were my friend!”
“I don't wanna be your friend. Don't you see? I wanna be your lover.”
I grabbed the lamp, yanked the plug out of the wall, and threw it at her head. “If you ever come around me again, I'll kill you!”
I stormed out of the house and out to my car, then peeled out of the driveway with tears streaming down my face. And to think I thought my life couldn't possibly get any worse.
35
Robin
It had been almost two weeks since that fiasco at my house, and Trey still refused to talk to me. He helped with Kyle with no more than a few words and then was out the door. No more staying over, watching movies, and hanging out. Damn, I missed him.
Halo was picking me up in an hour so we could go to the Richmond Funny Bone. Eddie Griffin was the headliner.
By the middle of the show I was laughing my ass off and having a good time. It felt good clearing my head and forgetting about my problems. On the way out we spotted Mercedes and Dollar. Ain't that some shit. She went from one friend to the other, but then again we were talking about Mercedes, and she'd do anything for a dollar. No pun intended.
We ended up all going to Denny's off Temple Road. I was glad for the diversion because Halo had hinted throughout the evening he planned on tapping that ass. I'd been stalling, but tonight was it. We had just gotten our food when Mercedes said something that made me choke on my omelet.
“Hey, Treasure, did ole girl get released on bail yet?”
Halo stopped chewing and gave me a weird look. “What girl?”
Mercedes's eyes danced with amusement like she knew something I didn't. “You know ... that chick who shot up Mannie.”
I didn't look at Halo because I was afraid he might be able to read my mind. Instead, I focused on Dollar and saw the smirk on his face just before he and Halo shared a look.
Halo swung around on his chair. “How you know that chick?”
“I don't. She's a friend of my cousin's,” I said quickly.
His fork stopped in midair. “What cousin? I thought you didn't have any family.”
Shit. I forgot that Halo knew I grew up in foster care. It was one thing we had in common. “Really she's a
play
cousin. This chick named Tangie I grew up with. I ran into her at the store and she told me what happened.” I went back to eating my food as I continued. “Tangie said her girl didn't kill Mannie. . . that someone set her up.”
Halo chewed his food, then looked at me like he was still trying to read my mind. “I guess that means she musta been in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Or in the
right
place at the
wrong
time.” Dollar chuckled at his own joke, and Mercedes laughed along with him.
“What?” I asked because I wanted to know what was so fucking funny.
Dollar gave me a weird look, then pointed his fork at me. “You know ... I never noticed this before ... but you kinda look like that female Mannie was fucking with. Yo, Halo, man, don't you think?”
It took everything I had to keep a straight face with all eyes on me.
Halo barely glanced my way. “I don't remember nothing about that bitch except that she threw up all over my got damn bear rug.”
“Really?” I tried to play it cool. “I hope it wasn't the expensive one I bought you?” I said with attitude, but I really was shaking with anticipation.
“Hell yeah.”
I couldn't believe it. If Deena had thrown up on his rug, then that meant she had been in Halo's office. How come my sister never mentioned being at Club Swag? While we were still living together, I had bought Halo this ugly bear rug he had wanted for his office.
“Did you get it cleaned?”
He answered between chews. “Nah ... some things can't be cleaned. I threw that muthafucka out.”
Dollar started laughing like a hyena and Mercedes was looking to the left, right, everywhere but across the table at me. I was starting to think that maybe Halo wasn't the only one who knew what had happened to Mannie.
Â
I went back with Halo to his place and was still thinking about Deena. I was going to have to go and see her and find out why she hadn't mentioned anything about being at his club.
“So, Ma, what's it gonna be?” Halo pulled me into his arms and I forced a smile.
“I'm getting ready to show you what you've been missing,” I cooed near his ear.
He looked pleased by my answer. “Now, that's what I'm talking about.”
There was no getting around it, so I might as well give him what he wanted. I wasn't sure why, but I felt guilty. I'd been sleeping with men for years for money, so what was the difference? Trey. That was the difference. I missed him. While I was with him I didn't think about sleeping with anyone else.
Halo turned on the music and I made him take a seat while I danced. I let the music and the alcohol take over, and it wasn't long before I had forgotten who I was with. Halo made it rain with dollar bills and I wiggled my ass and dropped to my knees and crawled over to him.
When we were together I gave him head without hesitation. But that time was over. So when he tried to guide my head down to his crotch, I removed his hand and reached for his zipper instead. “I missed this,” I purred and whipped his dick out of his jeans and wrapped my fingers around it, causing Halo to groan.
“Then quit bullshitting and show me some love.”
Grinning, I reached inside the nightstand where he kept the condoms and grabbed one. Halo was just as afraid of having a baby as I was. I slipped it on, then straddled his waist and dropped down onto his length.
Back in the day you couldn't have told me my man wasn't slinging some good dick. But I can honestly say I didn't feel a thing fucking Halo except for regret. I missed Trey, and I was going to do whatever it took to get him back.
36
Monica
I finished early at the nail salon and headed over to a small Italian restaurant on Old Street in historic Petersburg. I was supposed to meet Robin for lunch.
It had been a week since Tremayne ended our relationship, and my heart still ached for him. Despite my determination not to quit dancing, I hadn't been to the club since. Instead every evening I went out into my car, so the girls wouldn't hear me, and cried until I had no tears left. Tremayne had been my rock, and I really thought we had a chance to have something together, but I had blown it but not giving him the one thing he had asked of meâhonesty. It was crazy, but in one day I had lost my man and my best friend. It was so unreal. I don't know how I made it to school, and when I did, I didn't even remember half of what the instructor was saying. Luckily, I had sense enough to bring a tape recorder with me. We were studying for boards and the last thing I needed was to start failing this late in the game. Eight more weeks and my hard work would finally pay off.
I had ordered a cup of coffee by the time I saw Robin stepping inside the shop. As soon as she spotted me, I waved and watched as she moved my way. As usual, she looked like she had just stepped out of a salon. Her hair was laid, her clothes were not only fashionable but tasteful. She was wearing skinny jeans , pink stilettos, and a pink and gray shirt that hung off the shoulders. On her eyes was a pair of rhinestone-studded pink-tinted shades that looked perfect for her round face.
“Hey,” she said and slid onto the bench across from me.
“Your hair looks good,” I complimented her. I loved the way it had been flat-ironed to curl around her shoulders. It had body and not a split end in sight.
“Thanks. I had her squeeze me in this morning.”
I loved that her hair was all hers. Unlike me; I stuck a wig on my head every night to disguise my wholesome looks. But with Robin what you saw was what you got all the time. “I called you because I felt I owed you an apology for the other night.”
“I was wondering what whassup? The way you ran out the club the other night I knew something was wrong, and then when I tried calling you, I figured you decided stripping was just too much for you to handle.”
I shook my head and sighed. “No ... it's more to it than that.”
The waitress arrived and Robin ordered a lemonade and a turkey melt. I ordered iced tea and a chef's salad. I waited until she returned with our drinks before I continued.
“Remember that guy at the bachelor party I was talking to?”
She nodded. “Yeah, he seemed heated.”
“That was my man.”
Her brow rose like she wanted to say something more, but instead she waited for me to continue.
“I never told him I was dancing.”
“You're kidding!” I could tell she was trying not to laugh.
“I'm afraid not. I know it was wrong and I should have been honest with him in the first place, but I kept thinking that I would graduate and quit the job long before he ever needed to know.” I had gone over it in my head again and again. It was a stupid idea and I know that now, but it was too late to do anything about it.
“Damn, girl. So what happened?”
“I haven't heard from him since.”
She seemed surprised by my response. “Have you tried to call him?”
I sucked my teeth in disgust. “For what? As pissed as he was when he found out, there's no way I'm gonna call a man and beg him to forgive me for not being honest.”
“Good for you. That's why I don't let men get close to me,” she commented between sips.
“What about that cutie you've been spending time with?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I kinda fucked that situation up, which sucks because he really cares about my nephew. And as long as my sister is locked up, he and I still have daily contact.” She explained to me how the two of them were sharing responsibilities.
“Is that a bad thing? Your sister needs the two of you in her corner. I'm sure she appreciates it.”
“Yes, she does.” There was something in her eyes when she mentioned her. It was almost sadness.
“Do you think she's guilty?” I had to ask.
She waited until after the waitress put our food on the table before she answered. “I did at first, but now I believe she's innocent.” She sighed. “I guess I should have always known. The sister I knew would never hurt a fly.”
I didn't wanna be nosy because I could tell she wasn't used to talking about her family, so I waited for her to continue.
“Before Trey showed at my door with my nephew, I had never seen him before.”
“What?” She had totally lost me. “Girl, you need to start at the beginning.”
37
Robin
By the time I got done telling Monica about our parents being killed and growing up in the system, I was sure she thought my family was straight-up dysfunctional, and guess what, I couldn't blame her. We were.
“Did your foster parents mistreat you?” she asked.
“Mistreat me!” I barked. She didn't know the half of it. “They beat me every which way with whatever they could find, extension cords, tree limbs, and belts ... but the last one, that big cow, she liked to use her fists.” I didn't even bother to hide the bitterness.
“That's terrible! Did you ever tell anyone?”
“I tried, but no one seemed to believe me. She had them all thinking I lived in this imaginary world of make-believe all the time.” Part of it was true. “Life was so bad I used to pretend I was some white girl living in Chesterfield, with the big house and parents who took me to ballet recitals and Girl Scouts instead of some cast-off who got her ass beat just for having rusty elbows,” I said with a laugh, trying to hide some of the pain. I don't think I would ever get over what I went through growing up. “Sometimes Ms. Ernestine's hand would come out of nowhere for no apparent reason except that I was in the room and she needed to lash out at someone. After Deena abandoned me, it only got worse.” Monica sat there shaking her head, picking at her food. I bet she never heard anything so fucked up before in her life. “I spent years hating my sister for leaving.”
Monica looked up from her salad. “Don't take this the wrong way ... but your sister was young herself. You can't
really
blame her for wanting to leave. You said so yourself, your foster mother tried to beat the black off you. If the roles were reversed, you think you would have stuck around if you didn't have to?”
“No, I probably would have left a month before my eighteenth birthday and hid out in the streets until I was too old for them to take me back.” I could see her point.
“How long did you live at her house?”
I gazed across the table at her and smiled as I remembered my last day there. “For almost five years. I ran away a few weeks after Deena and was sent to another foster home. It was right after Ms. Ernestine had fallen down a flight of stairs.”
“Oh my goodness. Don't tell me you pushed her?” Monica asked with this incredulous look on her face like she wouldn't have blamed me if I had.
“No, I was too scared of her for that, although I used to imagine her getting hit by a car. The carpet was loose at the top of the basement steps. I always had to be careful when I needed to go down to get something out of the freezer. I remember hating going down there, mainly because it was where Ms. Ernestine put us when she really wanted to teach us a lesson. The dungeon was what she called it. I remembered being locked down there all weekend with nothing to eat or drink. She had cut off the lights so I was left sitting in the dark shivering like a damn fool. There were mice down there, so I always climbed to the top step and huddled close to the door, hoping they wouldn't come up there and bother me. Deena used to try and sneak me food when Ms. Ernestine left for the store, but she figured it out and started padlocking the door and kept that key tucked away in her bra. After a few times down there I learned what not to say or do.”
“Damn, girl!” Monica was still shaking her head. The last thing I wanted was pity, but I must admit it felt good talking about it.
“One day while I was at school she must have tripped on the carpet because when I got home, I heard her calling out for help. At first I thought it was a trap to get me down in the basement but when I saw her lying down there with her leg twisted beneath her, I knew she was hurt.”
“What did you do?” Monica was leaning across the table, practically holding her breath.
“Nothing. I just stood there looking at her, wondering if I left her there would she eventually die. Then one of the other foster kids came home and called the police. After that she didn't bother me as much. I guess she realized that I wanted to kill her and if I ever got the chance I would do it.”
“And you blame your sister for leaving?” Monica gave me a look like I was the one who was wrong.
“No, I don't blame Deena for leaving ... I blame her for leaving me there. I would have gone with her in a heartbeat.”
“I'm sure she knew that, but if she didn't have anywhere to go, why would she take you with her?”
“Because we're family. That's why. Family should stick together.”
She thought about it a moment, then shrugged. “That's true. I guess she could have at least called DFS.”
“She said she did.”
“Then that's all you can expect any eighteen-year-old girl to do.”
I know part of what she was saying was true, but after blaming someone and hating her for over ten years, forgiving her wasn't going to happen overnight. All I could do was take it one day at a time.
“I always wished I had a sister. I was lonely being an only child. That's why friendships mean a lot to me.”
“You and Reyna seem to be real close.”
Monica rolled her eyes then stabbed her salad with her fork. “Whatever,” she mumbled under her breath. I couldn't resist asking.
“What's wrong?”
“Let see ... how should I put this ... me and Reyna are no longer friends.”
About damn time. I never understood how they were friends in the first place. “Why? What happened?”
Monica paused, almost as if she was trying to choose her words carefully. “Reyna ... she made a pass at me.”
My eyes widened. “A pass?” I laughed. “What she do ... try to kiss you?”
“I wish that's all that it was.” She looked embarrassed for even bringing it up. “After I left the bachelor party, I went to Reyna's house because I knew she would understand. We talked and I stayed the night in her guest room. Next thing I know, I wake up with her on top of me.”
I choked and fell out of my chair.