SCARRED - Part 2 (The SCARRED Series - Book 2) (3 page)

“Okay then,” she said, “Tell us what’s on your mind. If there’s something you need, all you have to do is ask, you know that.”

“I do know that,” he said, “Thank you. The questions I have for you are about a very difficult subject...for the two of you.”

“Is it about Sarah?” Trevor asked. The only thing in either of their lives that had been difficult enough that they’d had trouble moving past it were the deaths of their daughters.

“Sort of,” he said. “Can you tell me about when Sarah and her sister were born? Where were you? Who else was there? Who told you that the one baby had died?”

“Of course Derek,” Samantha said, “But why?”

He looked from her face to Trevor’s. He could see that the loss of that child showed as fresh on them both now as if it had happened twenty-four days rather than twenty-four years ago. There was no way that Chloe was right when she’d suggested they’d given up one of their children.

“Can I ask you to trust that when I can tell you, I will? I wouldn’t bring up such a painful subject for you if it wasn’t important, but I can’t tell you why I’m bringing it up without breaking a confidence of someone who is just coming around to trusting me.”

Trevor and Samantha exchanged a look and Samantha said, “They were born at St. Peter’s Hospital in Albany. The doctor, mid-wife and nurses were the only ones there other than Trevor and me. The doctor was the one who told us she was gone....” She had tears in her eyes and Derek said, “I’m so sorry, Samantha.”

Smiling through her tears she said, “It’s okay honey. It’s silly that it still upsets me all of these years later. I wanted to see her and they wouldn’t let me. They said my blood pressure was up and it would upset me too much. It was such a difficult time. I was ecstatic over Sarah...she was so beautiful. But I was having guilt over being so happy when one of my children was laying in a box a few doors down...” The tears were streaming down her cheeks now. Trevor had his arm around her shoulders and Derek felt horrible for upsetting her. He apologized again and wiping her tears with a handkerchief her husband handed to her she said, “Please stop apologizing Derek. Talking about the girls is the only way we have now to keep them alive. Yes, it makes me sad to consider the loss of two beautiful souls but it also gives me joy to know that they live on in our hearts.”

“What else did you need to know, Derek?” Trevor asked him.

“Is there any possibility...even the remotest of possibilities that the child you gave birth to lived?

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“W
hy would you ask us that, Derek? Is there something you know about it?” Samantha’s face suddenly went from sad to hopeful and Derek felt like a heel for what he was doing to her.

“Samantha, I’m sorry. I really don’t know anything, that’s why I need you to tell me what happened.”

“But something prompted this, Derek. Something brought about all of these questions. After twenty-four years if someone comes to you and says, “Is there any chance the daughter you thought you lost, lived?” There’s cause to stand up and ask why. Why do you need to ask a question like that?”

Trevor’s face was a mixture of grief and suspicion and hope. The suspicion really bothered Derek. There had never been anything between them other than trust.

“Trevor, Samantha...do you trust me?”

They looked at each other again and Samantha said, “With our lives, Derek. We love you like a son. This is just so...odd.”

“I agree with you and again, I’m sorry. I can’t tell you why I’m asking...yet. I’m hoping that you can find it in your hearts to trust me enough to know that I wouldn’t take this information and do anything with it that would harm you in any way.”

“Of course we know that,” Samantha said. She took a breath and said, “I had an emergency C-section. I had planned on a natural birth the whole way through, but one of the babies was in distress they said. My doctor was out of the office that week...but I wasn’t supposed to be due until the following week. I went in for my regular weekly exam and the doctor who was covering for mine had me in surgery within the hour.”

“It all happened very fast,” Trevor said. “I got a call at work to come to St. Peter’s right away. By the time I got there, the birth was over. Samantha was just waking up...and there was only one baby. I asked where the other baby was and that was when I was told that she died. The first thing poor Samantha had to hear when she woke up was that her baby was dead.”

“They offered no proof of this to you though? You didn’t see the baby either, Trevor?”

“Not in person,” he said. “I saw the photographs of her.”

“They took photos?”

“They told me it was standard procedure. She was pronounced dead by the doctor. She was choked by the cord.” Samantha let out a little sob that cut right through Derek. Trevor clutched her hand tighter and went on, “She had a purple mark around her little neck, but otherwise, in the photos she looked like she was sleeping. She looked just like Sarah.” Trevor had a tear at the corner of his eye that he wiped away now. Derek hoped to God that putting them through this would turn out to be worth it.

“Do you still have any contact records for this doctor?” Derek asked them.

“I’m sure that I do,” Samantha said, “I kept everything. I planned on making a scrapbook for Sarah to give to her children.” That was it for Samantha. The tears took over and she began crying in giant guffawing sobs. Derek felt the tears in his own eyes now and as Trevor held his wife, Derek wondered how he kept from coming over and punching him right in the face for doing this. He sat there quietly until Samantha calmed down some. She wiped her face again and said, “I’ll go see if I can find them. Trevor, get Derek some tea or something.”

Trevor and Derek both watched her go and when she was gone Trevor looked at him and said, “Tea?” 

“I can’t imagine why you haven’t kicked me out and here you are offering me tea,” Derek said.

Trevor smiled at him and said, “We may be confused about your questions, but we know who you are. That will never change.”

Derek smiled back at him and said, “In that case, I’d love some tea.”

When Derek left over an hour later, both Whitemore’s were in a better state of mind. Samantha gave him all she had as far as the birth records went and she also brought down a scrapbook with photos of Sarah from birth to five years old. They all laughed and cried over those. Some of Derek’s tears were shed for Chloe who, if she was who he suspected she was, had a beautiful life stolen away from her.

******

C
hloe closed herself in her room for the first few hours after Derek dropped her off. She lay on her bed and let herself ponder the things she’d discovered today and what they could possibly mean. She finally took out her journal and sat on the edge of her bed and wrote:

June 15

Well, last night I had sex. You might think by reading that sentence that there was something ordinary about it, but that is not the case. It was so extraordinary that I have no words for it. Derek and I spent the day at the zoo and that may well go down in history as the best day I’ve ever had. He was funny and sweet and attentive and adventurous and all of the things a dream man should be. That was how I let myself think of him. I found him too perfect to be real so I convinced myself that he was just a dream and that I could enjoy the day...and the night it led to without remorse or ramifications. Once again, I was wrong. I woke up in the morning to discover that not only was Derek married before, but he was married to a woman who shared my face and my birthday and quite possibly, my DNA.

What am I to do with this knowledge? I wish I knew. Derek wanted me to go meet the people who he thinks gave birth to me and raised the other woman. He doesn’t know what to think any more than I do, but he did tell me that his wife, who died tragically a couple of years ago, was born a twin. The other twin died at birth. Derek wonders if there is a chance that this twin didn’t die and perhaps that twin is me. If that’s so, then what does that mean? I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t so to speak. If I was born to these people then why did they keep her and give me away? If I was stolen from them how did they not know and why didn’t they come for me? If I wasn’t born to them...then that just left me who I was before, I remade myself ...and that was nobody.

With all of this to think about, there is one more question that nags at me and won’t let me rest. Can I trust Derek? Is this some kind of twisted game? What if he is tied to Jesse somehow and that photo I saw is really me? I can’t just sit back and let him lead. I have to do some investigation on my own and in the meantime to protect myself I have to leave the dream man where he belongs...in my dreams.

Chloe stuffed the journal back in her dresser drawer and went out in the kitchen to make herself some tea. Lexi wasn’t home but she’d gotten a text from her earlier that said she would be home in time to drive them to work tonight. Chloe grimaced when she thought about work. She hated that place more every time she stepped into it.

She made her tea and a couple of pieces of toast and took it all along with her tablet out to the little patio that overlooked the beach. The air was warm but there was a light breeze blowing in over the ocean and the blue sky was streaked with big, white puffy clouds. Just being out in the open air made her feel better and helped her clear her head. While she ate her toast and sipped her tea, she fired up the notebook and first she checked Chantelle’s Facebook page.

Chantelle was the only friend Chloe had from her old life. She was her only link to the person she used to be...the skin she had shed. Chantelle was also her savior. She was the one who had called 911 and sent the police and the medics the night that Jesse tried to kill her. After the trial was over and Chloe was leaving New York for Rhode Island, she and Chantelle decided that the best and safest way for them to stay in touch would be through a Facebook account that Chantelle created. Chantelle created an account in her deceased mother’s name. No one else used it, but if Chloe needed to contact her friend or vice versa, they would use the message feature to do it. It was safer than a phone that could be traced and so far Chantelle had been able to keep her updated on things she was able to find out about Jesse. She was the one that found out Jesse was up for parole. Chloe knew the plan was for him to be released sometime in August, but since Chantelle told her that, she checked every day now, just to be sure. Today, there were no messages. Chloe always counted that as a good thing.

She signed off the Facebook page and went to the search engine and typed in: Sarah Whitemore Stark. She got back a lot of hits. She clicked on the first one...it was an obituary that read:

Whitemore, Sarah age 22 died tragically in a motor vehicle accident in Providence, Rhode Island. She is the Granddaughter of the late Hon. Jack Whitemore and his wife the late Tatiana Whitemore, both of Albany New York. She is survived by husband Derek Stark of Providence Rhode Island and parents Trevor Whitemore and Samantha Whitemore. She is now joined in heaven with her twin sister, Baby S Whitemore who also became an angel too soon. Services will be held at the Grantsville Family Funeral Home on Tuesday, January 27 at 10:30 a.m. followed by graveside services at the Graceland Cemetery and Mausoleum on Delaware Avenue immediately following. The family asks that if you wish to send remembrances that you send them in Sarah’s name to St. Peter’s hospital in Albany.

There it was again, that strange little ache in her chest that at other times seemed to be just a raw emptiness. She didn’t know this woman. She could feel compassion for her and her family and that would be normal...but a physical ache? She was letting all of this mess with her head. Finding out you had a twin that you never knew about was the stuff that soap operas are made of, not real life.

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C
hloe’s week didn’t get any better. She spent her time at home ignoring calls and texts from Derek. He started out casually asking her if they could “talk.” Then he moved into worrying if she was okay and by Thursday evening he was leaving hints that if she didn’t call or text him he was going to have to stop by her house or the club just to see that she was alright. She final gave in and sent him a text that simply said:
“I’m fine. I’m not ready to talk about this. I will let you know when/if I am.”
  He must have accepted that because she didn’t get another text back from him.

On Saturday she did a 5K run with Lexi for breast cancer awareness. The run wasn’t bad at all, but it was hot outside and it left her exhausted. After she got home and took a long bath she went to bed and finally got a good night’s sleep. She woke up feeling so refreshed on Sunday that she decided maybe she should increase her run every day.

Lexi was up when she went out into the kitchen. She hadn’t said anything more about the man she was seeing that had just disappeared on her or the idea that maybe she should start stripping. Chloe was relieved about that and she didn’t want to remind her in case she’d forgotten it, so she hadn’t brought it up. She fixed her toast and tea and joined Lexi on the back patio.

“Good morning. I thought you were going to sleep all day,” Lexi said with a smile.

“It’s only nine-thirty.”

“Yeah, but you’re usually up before the surfers and they’re already pulling it in for the day.”

Chloe looked out at the water. There was one lone surfer out in the middle of the ocean and two who looked like they’d just come in, sitting in the sand. She’d often thought about trying it. Something about watching them out there on the water made her think it would give you a real sense of freedom. She might try it yet.

“True,” she said. “That run yesterday kicked my butt I guess.”

“Mine too,” Lexi said. “But I needed it. Roxi said I can start dancing if I lose ten pounds.”

“What? Please tell me you’re kidding?”

“About dancing or losing ten pounds?” Lexi asked her.

“Both. You don’t need to lose ten pounds and you don’t want to be a stripper...do you?”