Scars of the Future (16 page)

“Amanda.” His voice stayed quiet and calm despite the fury building in my chest.

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Eat.” I enunciated each word and tried to tug my hand out of his grip.

Matt just stared at me, his expression firm and unwavering.  We stayed locked in our stare-off as my frustration level rose, and I opened my mouth to tell him off again. Before I could say anything, Matt’s mouth was against mine and our tongues met frantically. I started pulling at his clothes as quick as I could and soon we were both naked in his hallway. Matt led me back to the living room and pushed me onto the couch so my hips were propped on the armrest. He hooked my knees over his forearms, lifting my body slightly, and he shifted his hips so he could enter me with one solid push.

His thrusts were rougher than normal and I welcomed every one by moving my hips to meet them.

“Harder,” I moaned, digging my fingers into the couch cushion.

Matt complied, moving hard and fast against my body and soon I felt all the anger and frustration I had melt away as a strong orgasm wracked my body. Matt continued his movements until his face tensed and he let out a groan of satisfaction.

Matt’s head fell forward and he didn’t move for a moment. When he did it was to stretch his arms so his hands could caress my stomach.

“Feel a bit better?” He gave me a soft smile.

I nodded, covering his hands with my own. “I’m sorry.”

He laced our fingers together and pulled me so I was sitting on the armrest of the couch, up against his hard chest.

“It’s been a hard night and you’re allowed to be frustrated. Hell, if that’s the way I can cure you of it, I’m definitely not complaining.”

I shivered as I felt his fingertips glide down my back and I smiled up at him. “I don’t understand how I managed to get someone as caring and understanding as you, Matthew, but every day I think I fall a little more in love with you. It’s impressive, because whenever I don’t think I can possibly love you any more, you prove me wrong.”

“We work well together, sweets.” He kissed my forehead gently and smiled. “Now, let me clean you up and feed you, please.”

“You win,” I said, standing up slowly. “I guess I could eat.”

After we had eaten some leftover pot roast, we cleaned up the kitchen together and went back to the bedroom.

“While you girls are shopping on Sunday, Josh is going to bring his truck over and we’re going to get the furniture and heavy items moved into your house.” Matt lay back in the bed, typing something out on his phone as I pulled on my pajamas.

“Okay. Sydney says the hospital has some boxes that we can have. She’s going to bring them by on Wednesday.” I turned off the light before I climbed in bed next to him. “It’s our house now. Not mine.”

Matt pulled my back up against him and his hands moved towards my stomach. “Does that mean you’re going to let me help pay the bills then?” I felt his lips in my hair and I let out a sigh.

“Only if we can split them, fifty-fifty.”

His chest shook with quiet laughter and eventually he shook his head. “I agree with your terms for now.”

Chapter Sixteen

“You’re going to end up needing to buy another one before your pregnancy is over,” Maddie said, looking at the suit jacket I was pulling around my stomach.

I sighed as I looked in the mirror. “Yeah, this one will fit for a couple of months, though. I can’t have it too loose for growth or else it will just look sloppy.”

Sydney held up two different dresses from where she was going through the racks. “Either of these? I don’t know if this one is really court appropriate, but it’s cute.”

“Yeah, the first one is hideous, but I’ll try on the second one.”

We’d been shopping for over an hour and we had found some really cute maternity stuff. Claire was probably the best critic because she was so honest, making us all laugh with her comments.

“Claire, this dress is cute right?” Sydney showed her the one I’d dismissed and Claire made a face.

“No, it looks a giant hairball.”

We all burst out laughing and Claire smiled, unsure of why we were all amused.

“I love this kid,” I said, ducking down to kiss her head. “I’m buying her an ice cream after this.”

We shopped for two more hours before taking Claire to pick out a Halloween costume. She chose one of the Disney Princesses and suckered Sydney into buying all of the matching, unnecessary accessories.

“She’s got your wrapped around her little finger.” I commented as we headed to the food court.

Sydney gripped Claire’s hand and nodded seriously. “She really does. I really never thought I’d love being around a little kid like this.”

I bought Claire the ice cream I’d promised her and we collapsed into some chairs near the carousel.

“How’s it going with you and Matt?” Maddie asked as she ate her own ice cream.

A smile filled my face and I shrugged. “It’s going great. Your brother is fantastic, Mads.”

Sydney handed Claire a napkin and rolled her eyes. “We already knew this. What we don’t know if why you waited to so long to be together.”

Maddie shook her head. “I totally get it now. Amanda seems to think that everything she loves will get taken away from her in one way or another.”

I shrugged, feeling somewhat embarrassed as Maddie put all of my fears in one little sentence. “I know it seems irrational, but I haven’t had the best experiences. I still worry, but it’s a little too late now.” I rubbed my hand over my stomach. “Being with Matt makes me feel like we can get through all of it anyway. It’s kind of an exhilarating feeling.”

Both of my friends sighed while nodding in agreement and I couldn’t help but grin at them.

After we had finished at the mall, we climbed into David’s Subaru that Sydney was using for the day and headed back to the house to see what progress the guys had made.

Josh’s truck was parked in the driveway when Sydney pulled up and the guys were sitting at the tailgate chatting. Claire beat all of us to them, excitedly telling anyone who would listen about the costume she got. I watched as Matt pulled her into his lap and made the appropriate “Oohs and Ahhs” when needed. He grinned at me when I walked up with three shopping bags full of clothes.

“Did you get what you needed?” He asked, leaning forward to give me a quick kiss. Claire nodded seriously, answering for me.

“She got a lot of pretty clothes. She said that I was the best shopper and bought me ice cream.” She paused for a minute. “Uncle Matty, how did the baby get in Aunt Amanda’s tummy?”

Matt’s face froze and I tried to stifle the giggle that was threatening to fall from my mouth. Matt stammered for a moment and looked at David, who was laughing silently.

“Um, princess, you know… I think you should ask your daddy and Sydney. They’re so smart and they can tell you.” He placed her on the ground and smirked at her father.

David’s laughter cut off and a panicked look came over his face. Sydney just shook her head and crouched to Claire’s level. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

Claire nodded, satisfied, and moved to do cartwheels in the front yard.

“Payback is a bitch, Thomas,” David said, looking at Matt. “That little girl of yours is going to ask the same things in a few years.”

“Oh, she’s never having sex. Ever. So she won’t need to know.” Matt gave me a look that said he was serious.

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. “Why are you looking at me?”

“Just making sure you understand the rules.”

I burst out laughing and Maddie shook her head. “Let’s talk about how old you were when you lost your virginity, Matthew.”

Matt cut a glare to his sister and gestured towards her. “You first, Madelyn.”

Josh rolled his eyes at the siblings and looked at me. “What do you want to do with the old furniture, Amanda?”

“Did you guys move back in the stuff we’re keeping?” I glanced at Matt who nodded.

“Yeah, it’s all back in. The old living room furniture and all of the bedroom furniture is in the portable unit. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to keep it, trash it, or donate it.”

I looked at David. “Do you know any programs that need used furniture?”

He wrapped his arms around Sydney and pulled her close to him before nodding his head. “Yup. The single parent program can always use stuff like that.”

“Let’s do that then.”

“Okay, I’ll get you their info. They’ll even pick up the stuff from the house for you.”

“Thank you for all of your help, guys.” I moved my eyes around to look at our friends. “You’re all pretty amazing.”

Maddie gave me a tight hug before moving to her brother to do the same. “I had fun shopping today. I have a ton of homework to grade, so we’re going to get home.” She stepped back into Josh’s grip as he grinned and gave me a one-armed hug.

Sydney told Claire they were leaving and she ran back over to jump to Matt’s arms, giving him a huge embrace. Matt and I watched as everyone left and then he turned to me with a smile.

“Ready to see the house?”

“Yeah, definitely.” I took his offered hand and we walked inside.

Matt’s furniture went nicely with the house and made it a great mix of the same place I’d grown up and our new home. The walls were still bare, but it looked fantastic anyway.

The only bedroom that was unchanged was the baby’s, otherwise they all looked different. The room that had been Jenny’s for years had my bedroom furniture from the apartment, and my dad’s old office now held my treadmill and all of Matt’s weight lifting items. The biggest change was the master bedroom. I had avoided sleeping in there because it felt a little strange to me, but when I walked in it looked completely different. Matt had made sure to arrange the furniture so it was different than how my parents had it, giving it a brand new feeling. When I peeked into the good-sized en suite bathroom, the bathmats, towels, and other linens had even been changed.

“What do you think?” Matt’s arms came around me from behind and he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“I love it. It’s the perfect home for the three of us.” I turned around in his arms, wrapping my own around his neck, and he grinned.

“You’re not getting cold feet about moving in together, then?”

I shook my head. “I’m actually very comfortable with it all. Maybe it’d be different if you and I hadn’t known each other for fifteen years, but this is perfect.”

“Good. That’s the perfect answer.” He kissed my nose gently. We moved back to the living room and sat on his couch, which was much more comfortable than my mother’s old couch and a lot bigger.

“Did the alarm company come?” I asked, cuddling up to his side. Matt had insisted that we have a home security system put in. He wasn’t paranoid but a lot more cautious after everything that happened with Maddie.

“Yeah, I’ll show you how to work it all before we go to bed.”

I nodded and gestured towards the huge TV that now sat in the living room. “I see that your other baby made the journey over.” I grinned up at him and he chuckled, unashamed.

I let out a surprised gasp when I felt the baby shift against my ribs. “She’s kicking again.”

“Where?”

I placed Matt’s hand on my stomach where I’d felt her and he sighed.

“She is very selective about this. All the books say I should have been able to feel by now.”

“Moody. Definitely your child,” I teased. He let out another chuckle and she kicked again.

Matt’s face morphed into awe as he stared at his hand before meeting my eyes. “Was that her?”

I nodded and smiled at his expression. “I think she likes your laugh.”

Matt stuck his face right by my stomach and started talking to the baby in a low voice that sounded ridiculous. It worked though, because the baby kicked a few more times and Matt looked euphoric. Keeping his hands on my stomach, he leaned forward to kiss me. We stayed cuddled on the couch in silence for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

“Want to see your mom for dinner?” His quiet voice was hesitant; like he was afraid I’d break down again.

I had been wondering when Matt would bring up going to Bay Springs. I hadn’t been back since the previous weekend and I felt guilty about it, but I was worried my hormones couldn’t take the rejection again. I had spent my whole week shadowing Sadie, the Adult Protective Services Social Worker that Jill had left me with while she was on vacation. It had been very informative and interesting, only fueling my desire to do some good in the world, but it had also made me miss my mom so much.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Matt drove the two of us to the home and we went through the motions of getting our badges and being buzzed in. I grabbed his hand nervously as we walked down the hallway.

“Deep breaths, sweets. It’s going to be fine.” He ran his thumb over my knuckle as we turned the corner. My mom was standing in the middle of the room in a discussion with another resident, and when I caught her eye she grinned at me. I instantly released the breath I was holding and moved towards her.

She wrapped her arms around me and when she pulled back her hands immediately went to my stomach.

“Oh Amanda, look at this belly. What are we at now? Twenty-three weeks?”

I shook my head. “Twenty-five. She kicks up a storm now.”

My mom smiled and rubbed my belly for another moment before  letting go to hug Matt. “Hi Matthew.”

“Hi Mrs. Franklin. How are you feeling?”

She gave him a look before smiling at him. “Karen. I’m actually feeling great. They adjusted my medication and it’s been a good few days.” Mom led us to an empty couch in the corner and I sat next to her while Matt pulled up a chair to sit across from us.

“I came by last weekend,” I started slowly. “I don’t suppose you remember?”

Mom let out a heavy, heartbreaking sigh. “I don’t, but the caregivers told me you were here. I’m sorry, sweetie. It’s so random when it hits. Hopefully the new dosage will help control that.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Mama. We still visited with you a little bit and you boasted about your granddaughter.” I gave her a sad smile.

“Do you have a name for her yet?” She brushed along my stomach again. “I can’t get over how big your stomach is.”

“We still don’t have a solid name. It’s a lot harder than I thought it’d be.” I let out a small gasp. “She’s kicking.” I grabbed my mom’s hand and moved it to the side of my stomach. We sat still for a moment and when she kicked again a smile spread across her face.

“I felt that!”

Matt moved forward, not willing to forfeit any more kicks, and we spent almost thirty minutes on the couch laughing, talking, and trying to get the baby to kick. Matt and I left after eating with my mom, and I felt the complete opposite of the way I did when we left the week before.

“What about ‘Olivia’?” Matt asked as he looked at the road ahead of  us.

“Olivia,” I repeated slowly, letting the name sink in. “I really like Olivia. I had an idea about a middle name, but don’t laugh, okay?”

He chuckled. “I won’t laugh. Tell me.”

“Well, I was thinking Linden. I found it in a baby book under girl names, and it’s fairly uncommon. But, it’s kind of perfect because it’s a good mix of Linda and Karen.” I tried to make out his reaction in the dark car.

“Linden. Olivia Linden Thomas.” He repeated it several times and he reached over to grab my hand. “I think that is perfect and I’m pretty sure our mothers will be honored.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that?”

Matt pulled into the garage and shut off the car. “No, I really mean it. I think it’s the perfect name for her.”

“Olivia is my favorite so far,” I said as I pushed open my door.

We walked into the house and Matt stopped in the kitchen to grab a beer. “Little Liv. I really like it, sweets.”

I sat on the couch next to him and grinned. “So she’s Olivia?”

He nodded. “She’s Olivia.”

“Don’t bother putting your stuff down,” Jill said by way of greeting as she hung up the phone.

I had already placed my stuff on my desk so I looked at her. “What happened?” I had spent almost all of my Monday in the courthouse and I had been looking forward to a relaxing evening.

She stood and gestured for me to come. I grabbed everything I’d just sat down and followed her out to the car. “We have a report of a domestic and sexual abuse involving three children.”

I flinched but didn’t respond. Most cases with children were hard, but the sexual abuse ones were by far the worst. I’d seen a grown up Maddie go through it and partially drown in the destruction it had caused. As a child, well, these cases made me sick.

Jill drove quickly through the city and soon we came upon a small house that had several police cars and one ambulance outside of it. Jill and I were out of the car the moment it stopped and rushed over to where the paramedics were. One of the officers saw us and shook his head.

“He’s skipped, but the girl is pretty bad. She’s his stepdaughter, fourteen-years-old, physically assaulted and there are signs of sexual trauma. He has two biological inside, four and two. His wife, the mom, is also inside but we’re taking her in. The oldest girl said that the mom helped beat the crap out of her.”

Jill nodded and moved towards the gurney they were wheeling out “One of us needs to ride with you.” She turned back to me. “I’ll ride, you stay?”

I nodded and watched as Jill went to join the trip to the hospital. I walked into the house and showed my ID to the officer standing at the door.

Another police officer was standing near two scared little children. Bowls of spilled macaroni and cheese covered the floor around them along with broken glass. The kitchen table was overturned on its side and two officers were placing cuffs on an irate woman.

“You can’t do this to me. They’re my kids.” She gave me a seething look as the officer pulled her out the door and I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Am.” A familiar voice sounded to my right and I smiled when I saw David with his arms outstretched.

“Hey David,” I said, moving into his embrace. “You caught this one, too?”

He nodded and the smile fell from his face. “Dad’s in the wind, but we’ll find him. Are you here to take these two?”

“Yeah, Jill is in the ambulance with the older one.”

“So is Patty,” David replied, handing me a form to sign. “Younger one is Michael Jr, two, and older one is Rachel, four. They are biologically his kids, but the older one, Brittany, isn’t.”

“Okay.” I bent down in front of the kids and smiled at them. “Hi guys. My name is Amanda. I’m going to pack you a bag and we’re going to go stay somewhere else tonight, okay?”

The little boy just stared at me but the girl scrunched her little eyebrows. “Where’s my mommy?”

I just kept my smile and shrugged my shoulders slightly. “She has to go away for now, but we’ll find you a really great place to sleep, okay?”