Scent of the Heart (2 page)

The man shook his head. "I cannot. I'm not even sure what this means for my family. My brothers live in shame because I am a common thief. How do I explain to my mate that the one he is destined to share his life with is unworthy? One who is reviled by most members of the enclave because of what he is.”

“I don’t understand. They don’t like you because you stole to save your family? Where does that make sense?”

Sev drew his gaze away from the Protector. The man was fierce, and Sev burned with shame to even be in the same room with him. “Our laws dictate that I should have been banished for stealing, even though I only did it to feed my siblings. Only through Elizar’s edict was I able to stay in the outer ring of the enclave. Even there, among those who Elizar would have put to death, I was an outcast.”

“Elizar is dead,” Jake said flatly. “Zak pardoned everyone, including those who assisted Elizar in capturing us. We work together for the good of the enclave now. If people have a problem, they should talk to him. Remember, when we first found you, he came to your defense. He’s our Alpha. It’s his job to care for the people. If you won’t talk to him on your own behalf, I’ll speak to him.”

“Why would you do that?”

Jake’s scowl softened. “Because I care too. Zak is my mate. I am your Protector as much as his. If you have a problem, then we need to deal with it. I won’t, however, talk to Casey for you. If what you say is true—”

“I swear it is, Protector. Our shaman is my mate.”

“Then you need to step up and speak to him. No more skulking around or being angry with him. It’s not his fault.”

“Yes, Protector. I will speak to him.”

“Just between you and me? Don’t tell him you’re the one that sprayed him three times. I don’t think he’s forgiven that just yet.”

There was a grin that softened the words, and Sev’s heart was light, as if a burden had finally been lifted. Perhaps he and his mate could speak. If only he knew what to say.

The Protector left him, warning him once again about not stalking his friend. As soon as the door closed, Sev wanted nothing more than to go see his mate, to bask in the scents that surrounded him. To whisper words of love and devotion, even while that scared him to death. He would not deny that Casey was his mate, but that didn’t mean he would have to like it.

Casey pored over every text he could find. It had to be there somewhere. The answer to what it was he saw last night. While Casey could visit the spirit realm, he didn’t believe ghosts existed. Of course, with everything else he’d seen, who knew what the truth was.

Vague references to spirits crossing into the realm of the living were met with derision as fanciful untruths. Only the shaman could pierce the veil between life and death, or so claimed everything Casey’d read. Of course Hakiim had acted as the shaman for a time. Perhaps he had been granted the ability. Such thoughts made Casey’s head ache.

Cup of tea in hand—this morning a double shot of energizing herbs to counteract the lack of sleep from the night before—Casey put the parchments into one of the drawers of the heavy built-in cabinet. He had to be at Mrs. Riley’s soon, knowing the twins wouldn’t wait for him to wake up. He washed off in the basin, inhaling the herbaceous fragrance of his handcrafted soap. He gave a brief thought to how people back on campus would go nuts over the things he created, but it quickly fled his mind when he noticed the sun had gotten higher in the sky.

Throwing open the door, Casey got a jolt when a young man with black eyes and shock white hair stood on his stoop. He appeared nervous, uncertain of himself. He’d seen the man around, not too difficult when there were only about a hundred fifty people left in the enclave, thanks to Elizar’s insanity. Still, even though he’d met most of them, Casey didn’t know this young man’s name.

“Hey. Hi. What can I do for you?” Casey said, trying to be polite even while minding the time. If there was one thing he’d learned about shifters, when it came time to have a baby, they were having that baby. It was important for him to be there, to keep the mother calm. Shifting while giving birth would likely end in the mother’s death, and possibly the child’s as well.

“Greetings, Shaman. I am Tsvetok Yerokhin. Called Sev in the enclave.”

Casey waited for the man to continue. His expression held hope that perhaps Casey might save him from the awkward introduction. When Casey didn’t say anything, the young man’s shoulder slumped and he gazed at the ground.

“It’s good to finally meet you,” Casey said, trying to keep his voice light. “Can I help you with something?”

The man became twitchy. He took a half-step toward then away from Casey. The conflict was evident in his eyes, deep, dark, and soulful. Something akin to vertigo clutched Casey as he seemed to be falling into those eyes, then shook his head, hoping to clear the rest of the sleep from it.

“No, I just thought… No, never mind. This was a bad idea. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

“Hey, wait.” Casey reached out and gripped the man’s bicep. His fingers tingled and the look of hope returned to the man’s face. Casey looked, really looked. He was scruffy, light tufts of hair growing out from smooth, unblemished skin. Casey’d never seen skin like that before. It was all he could do to focus on what he wanted to say to the man. “I’ve got to go help with a birthing, but if you need something, I should be back in a few hours.”

Sev gave a shaky smile. “No, I don’t think that’s going to happen. As I said, I’m sorry I bothered you. Good luck with the birth. Mrs. Riley is a nervous one. I guess that’s part of being a rabbit shifter.”

“At least as a human she doesn’t give birth to a full litter. That could be messy.”

The man’s laugh was full and rich. His eyes crinkled with the smile, and Casey couldn’t help but be drawn to the man. He had an easy-to-like vibe about him. He stared into Casey’s eyes and licked the soft, pillowy lips. Casey blinked and the spell was broken. The man was back to being hesitant and unsure. And what the hell was up with Casey’s thoughts?
I must be desperate
.

“I should…go,” Casey murmured, taking his hand away from Tsvetok. “Maybe we can talk later?” Casey’s heart throbbed, then cracked in two when the man shook his head.

“No, I don’t think it would be a wise idea.”

He turned and shambled away, leaving Casey feeling conflicted. But he had a responsibility to help deliver the twins, so he tore his gaze away from Sev and headed into the village center.

***

“Stupid. What was I thinking?” Tsvetok slammed the drawer on the bureau. He clutched the picture, ripped and frayed over the years, to his chest, feeling the sting of tears. He placed the picture on the table and ran his fingers over it. “Mom, Dad…I miss you so much. How disappointed in me you must be. Why did Elizar have to kill you? You’d done nothing wrong.”

His parents had been accused of inciting treason, because they’d spoken with their friends about the people in the outer ring. Someone must have told the guard, because the next day they came for his family. His parents were offered the choice between sacrificing Sev to Elizar or taking their chances in the pit. They sat him down the evening before and explained to him that he was the man of the house and would be responsible for caring for his brothers. Even though he was only sixteen, he had to find a way to keep his family together. They left home that night, and the next day, Elizar dumped their bodies in front of the house. Tsvetok quickly buried them so his brothers wouldn’t see the horrific mutilation.

Four years later, he was still trying to keep their family whole. It wasn’t easy. Mikhail was fourteen now and a surlier child he’d never met. Vadim was twelve and had an incessant curiosity about the world around him. Sev often joked that his brother’s hijinks had caused his prematurely white hair. He sighed and ran his fingers over the picture, a charcoal drawing done by Mikhail a few weeks before their parents died. He’d smudged it from how many times he’d handled it. The lines were no longer crisp, the faces had faded. Even though it was done in a typical ten-year-old fashion, it still gave Sev strength to see it.

Perhaps he could talk to the shaman about a visit to the other side, so he could once again know he was doing the right thing. But what if he wasn’t? What if they hated what he’d become. How he’d let his family down. Worse still, knowing that he was mated to the shaman, who was a man, and that there would be no more branches in his family tree.

There were no same-sex prohibitions in the enclave. In fact, groupings of all sorts were celebrated, but he had no attraction to males, and his brothers needed a female in their lives. Someone who could help him raise them and help them be a family once again. His feelings for the shaman aside, it wasn’t an attraction he could act upon. Casey sighed and put the picture back in the bureau for safekeeping before he headed out.

The town center bustled that afternoon. Vendors hawked wares—homemade jams, knitted goods, crafted mugs, skinned and deboned fish. So many beautiful things that Sev wanted for their house. Something to make it feel like a home again. He approached Mrs. Havanec, a jovial woman who always had a kind word for him. She saw him coming and her smile widened.

“Good morning, Sev. How are you today?”

“Fine, thank you. I hope your family is well.”

Her expression slipped a little. “I know you’re doing your best with your brothers, but…”

Her voice trailed off and a look of sadness swept her features.

Sev couldn’t contain his sigh. “What has Mikhail done this time?”

“He’s been encouraging Tiam to leave the enclave. He tells him fantastic tales of the outside world that send my son’s imagination whirling. With our new Alpha, I’ve no doubt he would allow them to go, but Tiam is only twelve. He’s much too young to travel alone.”

The familiar ache began again for Sev. Mikhail was a handful, and fourteen was too young to go out on his own, no matter how grown-up he thought he might be. He knew Mikhail received fallout over Sev’s actions, and while it wasn’t fair, people really couldn’t be blamed for thinking that it ran in the family. The Protector said he should speak with the Alpha, but in his heart, Sev knew the people weren’t going to change their opinions because they were told to.

“I’m very sorry, Mrs. Havanec. I’ll speak with Mikhail again.”

“Perhaps…” She sighed. “Perhaps it would be better if Mikhail didn’t spend time with Tiam. At least not until Tiam is old enough to make decisions.”

Every bit of the pain of that pronouncement touched Sev as if it were his own. Mikhail would be devastated. Tiam was one of his only friends, and now he was being forbidden to see him.

“Very well. I’ll let him know. Again, I’m very sorry.”

She held up a jar of pickled fish, one of Sev’s favorite foods. “Please, take this.”

Sev bit his lip in an effort to not cry. He shook his head and ran from her stall. He hurried into his house and threw off his clothes. His brothers were off doing something…what kind of a guardian for them was he if he didn’t even know where they were?

Tightness gripped his chest and the world tilted on its axis. He needed to run, hide for a while. Maybe shifting would give him some perspective. He hated shifting. It always hurt, but when he finally finished, his form opened up the world for him. He was ruled by his beast, but Sev didn’t mind. He didn’t have to make choices or decisions. He could simply let go. So many days he wished he could just give in, let the animal inside become his dominant nature, but he had his brothers to think of.

The woods were so fragrant in early spring. Fresh buds pushing from the ground heralded a bountiful year ahead. The tree’s sap ran, sweet and enticing, and animals were looking for mates or already rutting. The whole forest was alive, and it made Sev feel the same.

Fallen logs provided a bounty of grubs and beetle larvae, a delicacy for a hungry skunk. Sev dug in, savoring each morsel. If his brothers had been shifters, feeding them would have been easy. But, while Sev got the ability from his father, his siblings took after their mother, a human. Yet another thing that made Sev stand out from them and made him feel looked down upon. A shifter who couldn’t even control his family.

He’d just dug beneath a rotted stump, littered with his favorite fungi when the smell drifted to him. His mate was in the forest! His meal forgotten, Sev rushed toward the intoxicating aroma. He found Casey kneeling on a patch of spring grass, plucking delicate strands and putting them in his pouch. He sang absently, a tune unfamiliar to Sev, but Casey’s voice was sweet, and Sev knew he could listen to it all day. He found himself striding toward Casey, drawn by the delightful combination of scent and song. He was less than ten feet away when Casey looked in his direction and his eyes went wide.

***

“Goddamn,” Casey muttered. Maybe his friends had been right when they called him skunk bait. The skunk waddled toward him, its long hair flowing in the breeze. White bands bloomed across the chest and ran down the legs. Not that Casey made it a habit of looking at skunks, but this one was beautiful.

He clutched the satchel at his side, cursing himself for wanting the fresh blades for a new ointment he wanted to try. “Hi. I see we have a problem here. I don’t want to scare you and you don’t want to spray me, I’m sure. How about you turn around and go scamper back to the forest and find Bambi or Thumper to play with.”

Casey tried to rise slowly, but the skunk stamped its feet.

“Shit. Okay, so how about I don’t move? Would that make you happy? If you have rabies, I’m going to be so pissed. I don’t have the things to make a balm for that.”

The skunk continued to advance.

“O-Okay, I can see we’re going to have problems, aren’t we?”

The skunk cocked his head and flopped onto its belly. Casey breathed a sigh of relief. He tried to back away again, and the skunk leapt up and crept closer.

“Right. Okay. Don’t move.” He put a hand in his bag and drew out some fly agaric fungus. He tossed it a few feet from the skunk, who eyed it apprehensively. “Why not have some? You’ll probably like that a lot more than me.”