Scorned (17 page)

It wasn’t even eleven in the morning and I was ready to raise hell. “Amber!!!” I screamed, yanking her door open. The woman was asleep, barely cracking her eyes open before I hastily pulled her comforter off her body, enraged, going bat-shit wacky. “Did you fuck Brody?” I screamed at her. I watched her eyes widen, about to deny it before I jumped on her. “You fucking bitch!” I slapped her so hard before I pulled her hair. “You lying skank! I trusted you.”

Emma—who was here for a couple of days before leaving again—woke up from her sleep and scrambled to get me off Amber while she screamed for Trista, who took a good minute to come out of her room. When they finally managed to untangle me from Amber’s body, I noticed that I had scratched her face and it was bleeding, but I didn’t give a fuck.

“Have you fucking lost it, Lindsey!” Emma spat at me, looking at me like I was mental.

“She—she gave her virginity to Brody,” I whispered, still attempting to comprehend the bomb Cece had handed me.

Amber had tears in her eyes, but she was red from anger as she darted me an angry look.

“Can someone please tell me this is a lie, please?” Trista eyed all of us before she looked at Amber. “Tell me this is not true.”

“You better fucking own up to it, you skank!” I hissed at her before Emma pushed me off, holding me down.

Amber was on fire. “Do you know how lucky you are? You have these two wonderful men, who love you, but you don’t appreciate any of that. You’re a selfish bitch, Lindsey!” Amber hissed at me, livid and outraged.

“I’ve loved Brody,” Amber continued. “I’ve always loved him, but he only has eyes for you. He’s a good man. I begged him that night… because I just wanted a piece of him… to remember something of him that was only mine and no one could take away.

“You all are lucky!” She directed towards Trista, “You have Taylor and it’s sickening how much he loves you.” She looked at Emma. “You have Carter, even though you don’t want him, he won’t go away. Then, you have Bass. Even though this shit with Nikki is messed up, one look is all I need to see how much he worships you.” She paused, teary. “I’m happy for you guys, especially for you, Tris. I see all these happy faces while I’m far from it. No one loves me. Fuck, even my parents don’t. Am I that worthless?” 

“You’re still a back-stabbing bitch!” I shot out before shutting myself in my room, not wanting to see her face any longer.

“Linds? Do you want to talk? Open the door.” Emma was shaking the doorjamb, but I wasn’t ready to talk.

Not right now, let me be. I needed space, from everyone, from my family, from the rest of the world.

That night, Brody tried to get in my room, but he wasn’t successful.

I was too angry and the betrayal that I felt from Cece before didn’t compare to Amber; her betrayal was so much worse because I let myself believe that Brody and I had a future together. How could I build one with him when our past kept hounding me? How could I forgive and forget when the people that betrayed me were the ones I loved?

Most of all, Amber. For so many years, she never said anything about her feelings for Brody. How could she even fathom seducing the man that I wanted then? Let alone loved? She said she was in love with him, too.
How the hell did I not see that?

There was never a time I noticed that she did. She acted the same. How many lies did she hide from the rest of us? How long had she been pretending to be someone that she’s not? She should’ve come to me and confronted me about Brody. I certainly didn’t need to hear if from Cece, it made things unbelievably worse.

Betrayal. Would I ever live without it? I despised that word. It shrouded my childhood, my teenage years and now. To this day, it was the same old crap. When would it leave me?

Brody’s betrayal was my payment for hurting Dimitris. Karma was a mean bitch. I crushed my husband’s heart and now it was crushing mine.

Hurt and vulnerable, I stuck myself in my room, ignoring every single person that knocked on my door.

Chapter 22

“Lindsey!!! Open up!” Brody pounded on my door, not giving up.

For the last week, he had come here every day, trying to talk to me. “Go away!” I screamed at the door as I contemplated what the hell to do with him.

Brody begged, sounding like he was in so much pain, just like the one I was in. “Let’s talk, please. I’ll do anything—just hear me out, Linds.”

Gripping the door handle, I pried it open enough to speak. “Promise me that you’ll leave me alone when I tell you to?”

“I hope you won’t do that… but if it’s the only option, then yes, I promise you.” Brody made a regretful sigh, desperate.

Opening the door to let him through, I stared at my foot so I didn’t have to see him enter. This man only brought pain and sadness to me, even though he hadn’t been mine then.

“You’re not going to forgive me, are you?” he whispered, standing at the foot of my bed. I still wouldn’t look at his face.

“No, I just can’t.” Too much had happened. I gave up too much, thinking this was what I wanted—that it was
him
I wanted, that it was him I loved—but I was merely blinded by my past, confusing things for what they truly were.

My blindness caused me to lose my marriage.

My deafness caused me to lose my husband.

My stupidity caused me to lose the man that I loved.

So, no, I can’t forgive Brody for not telling me the truth—for hiding that essential fact that would’ve opened my eyes to see him for what he truly was. Most of all, I couldn’t forgive myself for letting Dimitris go, thinking it was for the best.

“But you love me, Linds. Can’t you at least find it in you to forgive me? Make me go through all sorts of punishment, I don’t care, just as long as you’ll be mine and won’t leave me. I love you, pookie. I fucking love you so much. I need you to give me a chance. We’ve barely just begun.”

Smiling sadly, I looked at him through my tears. “I was married once, to this beautiful, kind man. He never held back in loving me. He wanted me—ME—and no other woman. When I was around, no one existed for him. He didn’t need to take months, years or a fucking decade to know if he loved me or not. He just knew that he did and married me two weeks later.” I sniffed, wiping my tears. “He worshipped me, but it was sad because I wasn’t used to being treated like that—being treated like I was the only one… because I was used to chasing and loving a man like you, Brody. My idiocy chased him away… you and I have made our bed of problems. There’s nothing left except to lie in our coffins and die in it, because that’s what I am right now. I’m dead inside.”

“You’re married?” Brody asked, flabbergasted.

I wished. “I was.”

“Where’s he now?”

Claudine. “With his future, where he should be. Where he belongs.”

~L~

“There’s mail for you.” Trista handed me an envelope before opening her purchases from her lavish online addiction.

There was no return address so I didn’t know where it had come from. My curiosity about the sender didn’t last long because when I opened the letter, it brought more ugliness. It was my finalization of the dissolution to my marriage with Dimitris.

My hands shook as I shoved the papers back in. I ran towards my room, locking the door before I buried it in the bottom of a drawer, wishing it away, wishing it gone.

No more Dimitris.

The thought of him brought new sadness, washing me with memories of him again. His easy laughter and his kind heart—he was so good to others—loved me even if I was ugly inside. I was a rotten person, only beautiful from the outside, however I was purely rotten to the core, like my mother.

I was just like her.

Hurting the only men that ever loved us—our husbands.

Chapter 23

Amber opted to stay because I wasn’t going to go with her on the trip to Milan. Therefore the long flight across the Atlantic gave me the time I needed to ponder the events that had happened between Amber and Brody.

Emma and Trista weren’t taking sides, which was great and all, but it would’ve been fantastic, too, if one of them had sided with me. It seemed that life had set out to give me one hurdle after the other. It didn’t even give me enough space in between to take a break and try to gather myself. It just kept on throwing punches, waiting for me to get knocked-out.

We checked into a hotel even though Luca, who I’ve never met, offered his home to us. Taylor and Bass didn’t like the idea of their women staying at the hot playboy’s palazzo. When Emma and Trista were readying themselves to go to dinner with Emma’s friends, I declined. Honestly, I just needed a night of my own—without Amber or Brody around.

I was probably asleep for an hour when Trista came knocking on my door. “Wake up and get dressed! We’re leaving for Monza in the next forty-five minutes.”

Not today, I won’t. “You guys go. I’m jet-lagged and had only an hour of sleep. Tonight, I’ll join you guys tonight,” I mumbled, ready to go back to sleep.

Trista sighed, disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm “You suck! Tonight it is then! Laters, doll.”

My life was so depressing
, I thought sadly before succumbing to a deep coma-like sleep.

~L~

We were in a palazzo owned by Luca as we celebrated Jacques’s victory against
the
Luca himself. I suppose they were that good of friends that they didn’t have any jealousy or fights about who was the loser.

I was at the bar, waiting on my champagne when another man joined me, deep in thought.

“For fuck’s sake!” The man was losing his patience as he cut the ringing shrill of his phone off for the second time.

When his phone started ringing again, he ended it and slammed it back on the bar. “Bugger off!” he muttered, really getting my attention now.

I was halfway through my champagne when that thing went off again, driving me a little crazy. Turning towards the man next to me, I outstretched my hand, looking at the stranger for the first time. “If that’s an ex-lover that needs a reality check, give it to me so I can drink in peace.”

He handed me his phone, skeptical, but I grabbed it before he changed his mind.

“Will you please stop calling? You’re—” I paused, listening to the bitchy woman on the phone. “Callum?” I reiterated what the woman said, covering the cellphone while I whispered, “
That’s you, right?
”

He nodded, giving me a smile.

“Callum is occupied, right in between my legs. He will never be available to call you. Ever. Ciao!” I cut the call, sliding his phone back to him without looking at him.

He introduced himself, holding out his hand. “I’m Callum Kensington.”

Callum Kensington with the sexy British accent. Loved it! He took the expression
Tall, Dark and Handsome
to the next level. Shaking his hand, I gave out my name. “Lindsey Mason.
Was
secretly married, now secretly divorced.”

He lightly chuckled at my line. “Bollocks! I’m secretly married, too!” he chimed, entertained that we had something in common.

“I take it the woman I spoke to wasn’t her?”

“Certainly not. Stella and I aren’t involved in any sense,” he said in between sips of his drink and then flagged the barman for another round. “She’s practically a teenager. A baby.”

A baby? How young was this pseudo wife? “Hmm, I didn’t take you as a cradle robber.”

“I didn’t, either, well not really. My best friend asked me to. How could I say no to the man’s last dying wish?” Callum sat quietly, studying his whiskey with great concentration, possibly remembering the past.

“I don’t know what I’d do without my best friends.” Even though I might hate Amber right now, I wouldn’t want to wish anything bad happening to her. Deep down, I still loved that lying bitch.

Callum nodded, sliding his glass in between his hands. “Are you friends with any of the racers or are you here through handed invitation?”

I was on my phone, checking any messages as I responded to him, “My friend knows Jacques, Luca and Andrès. I’m invited through association. You?”

“Old buddy of mine dragged me here, but I’m old friends with the trio of adrenaline junkies. Dimitris should be here somewhere.”

There goes my calm composure. If this man turned out to be the same man, I was in for a long, painstaking kind of torture tonight. “Kosta?” I nervously added, having a hard time breathing.

“Yep. He’s quite popular. Are you one of his fans? I could introduce you, if you like.”

How thoughtful
, I think not. “Actually, I’ve met him already, but thanks anyway. I’ve got to go and find my girls. I’ll see you around, Callum Kensington.”

~L~

When I found Emma and Trista, I acted like I wasn’t surprised to find Dimitris there, laughing and talking to Emma.

I stood there, hearing my heart pounding, deafening me while my sight focused on him. He hadn’t seen me yet, so I took the liberty of getting my fill of reacquainting my eyes with his form. Almost three months of not seeing him and still, he managed to take my breath away without effort.