Read Scornfully Yours (Torn Series) Online
Authors: Pamela Ann
Mom and dad stood up and hugged me. “We’ll see you soon. Congratulations, baby!” Mom kissed me on the cheek while dad kissed my forehead.
“Drive carefully, will you? I think I’ve had enough shock to last me a lifetime.” Dad tended to overreact when it comes to me–all the time.
“Always Dad.” I gave a quick goodbye to my aunt and waved at them, “Love you lots,” I yelled before leaving the kitchen and out the front door.
Turning on the engine, my mood started to sink thinking about seeing Carter, “One down, one to go.”
“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.”
―
H.G. Wells
The moment I parked my car, I fished out my phone and texted Carter.
Me: Hey. I just got back in town. Can you come over?
It beeped after a minute.
Carter: Be there soon, babe.
Fuck! I
didn’t even know how to break it to him. We just got back together too.
I cared for Bass and the thought of
the intimate moments that I shared with him saddens me. I suppose we really needed last night to get closure, somehow.
Since Carter
would be here any second, I got out of my car and went inside the dorm. Lindsey wasn’t home and I felt relieved. I didn’t need a witness when Carter had a meltdown and lost his shit.
In my room, I fought the urge to shower. I didn’t want to prolong any of this and have Carter waiting on me. This confrontation
needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. I couldn’t tiptoe around the subject. I made a choice and I had to stand by it. Shit, happens…on a daily basis. I just have to brave it out, I suppose.
Changing my clothes, I
put on my jean short-shorts and a loose baby blue cotton shirt. I looked up when I heard the door open; Carter has a key to the apartment.
“Em?”
“I’m in here,” I called out. I was on edge and a little jittery to boot.
I carefully positioned myself on the bed, crisscrossed.
Here goes the other…
Carter came through the door and immediately gave me a huge smile when he saw me.
”I missed you!”
“We have to talk about something important,” I started as I eyed him. Carter instantly tensed and his handsome face contorted.
“What’s it about?” Carter whispered as he stared back at me, apprehensive.
I guess there’s no other way to go down but go down with a large bang, right? Shit. “Something happened with Bass last night.” I didn’t even get the chance to finish before Carter sprung off the bed and started pacing.
“Define ‘happened’ Emma? You had sex with him, is that it?”
“No. I stayed with him last night, nothing really happened except his hand
lingering a bit longer on certain areas.” And how I really wanted to succumb to him and try to get him out of my system.
Carter stopped pacing and sat back down again. His hurt face tugged something inside me. “Bass didn’t fuck you?”
Isn’t that what I just said? This is what I get for being such a whorebag-
ish
.
“No,
it wasn’t like that,” I murmured not meeting his eye.
Yep, Bass and I didn’t have sex. But I was tempted.
Carter ran both of his hands through his hair. “You lying about going to sleep at your parent’s house is stabbing me hard right now, Em.
How could you do this?
We barely just got back together.”
I don’t know. I honestly
didn’t know why I do the things I do with Bass. Another Emma emerges—frivolous, spontaneous, alive and inhibited.
With all my heart, I wanted
so badly to say that I was sorry for doing it, but I would be lying to Carter if I did apologize for something I didn’t regret doing.
“Maybe it’s because we got back together
too quickly? Maybe I didn’t see it coming and I’m still trying to place my feelings in order? I met Bass right after you. I got to spend time with him, Carter. Somehow, someway, he got through to me.”
Carter groaned. “So, you’re back with him? You wanted me to drop by today because you’re breaking it off? I
can’t believe this!”
“I’m not with Bass. Last night was a
one-time thing. I don’t think I will be hearing from him again.” Not for a while, I think. He will be busy filming a movie during the day and having a beautiful stunning angel in his arms at night.
Carter lied across horizontally on my bed, both hands on his face. “Carter, I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. I meant it when I said I loved you. It’s just that I’m
as confused as ever. I didn’t mean for us to end this way. I honestly didn’t.”
I did love Carter, I still do.
But was it as consuming as before?
No, Bass chipped a bit of that off.
Carter huffed out a lungful of
air and sat up looking at me directly in the eye. “I don’t want to break up with you, Em. I hate what you did but I don’t think I can survive without you again. I had a taste of that and I sure as hell don’t want to go back to that man. Take as much time as you need to figure things out in your head, I will still be here as your boyfriend. I love you and as badly as I want to think that you’re perfect, you’re human and by nature you’re make mistakes.”
What? “You
still want me
after what I did?” I stared at him flabbergasted. Who the hell is this man? The old Carter would have stomped around and threw a massive tantrum the entire campus would witness. The Carter before me is someone I have yet to know.
“I love you, Em,” He croaked as he softly touched the side of my face. “We’ll be okay. We’re just hitting some rough patches because
I totally messed up before. But now that we’ve cleared that up, we can start anew.”
Could we
?
Could Carter and I move past this hurdle? I suppose I wouldn’t know if I didn’t give it a try.
“Maybe you’re right. We can start fresh from here on,” I agreed.
A tad doubtful
, but much more hopeful.
A few weeks later…
Carter was throwing a Halloween party tonight
at his house. We ended up being Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan from
Pirates of the Caribbean
.
I smiled like an idiot when we both checked each other out. Of course, my costume was on the sexy side, showing my belly button. Carter even had the whole dark eye-liner thing going. He took being Jack Sparrow quite seriously.
“My, can I be your captive Captain Jack?”
Carter
Jack Sparrow gave me a chaste kiss and smiled, showing his toothy pirate smile. “Anything for my Miss Swan.”
The party was wild and crazy. Nothing really unusual for a Carter Mason party, but what really got me was how Carter and I were stuck like glue together the whole time.
We danced, we laughed and we made out like no one’s business. It didn’t take long for me to get sucked in back into Carter’s world. Every time my thoughts drifted back to Bass, I immediately shut them down and shove it somewhere in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to jeopardize anything with Carter. I really wanted us to work out.
And for the first time, I really felt happy. Carter made me very happy.
When Thanksgiving rolled in, we spent it with my family. He was the second guy I brought home to meet my parents. Though mom was very sweet and accommodating, my father on the other hand, was a total pain.
“Tell me, Carter, how many women have you had sex with?” My father, Seth, asked in such a serious manner during dinner before he popped a carrot in his mouth and chewed it leisurely.
Of course, the entire table including my aunt and baby nephew got quiet. Baby Joey, though oblivious as to what the question meant, knew it was serious. Dad didn’t act like this when he met Lewis. I didn’t understand the third-degree with Carter.
Mom warned dad but it was to no avail. Dad stood his ground while he waited for Carter to respond. He eyed Carter with heavy scrutiny.
“Dad, can you at least act civilized. You’re being to invasive,” I hissed at my dad.
Carter turned red.
I somehow knew though that Carter might have a guesstimate, but not the exact digits.
I tensed when I heard Carter clear his throat. WTF, was he really planning to answer that? How could he even manage to without getting his head chopped off?
“I can honestly tell you, sir, that I do not know precisely the answer to that question. But what I can tell you, with great frankness and confidence, is that since Emma came into my life, I didn’t want anyone else. If you had asked me how many women I have loved in my life, it wouldn’t have taken me long to answer. I only have ever loved once. And that woman is your daughter.”
Oh, shit. I loved him more
in that moment.
After a minute of silence, my father beamed. “The irony, I gave Emma’s grandfather a similar answer when he asked me the same question. You are welcome in
our home as long as you treat my only daughter well. Don’t make me regret this, Carter.”
“Thank you, sir, I promise that I won’t.” With that, Carter was welcomed. He was in my father’s good graces. Carter even accepted his invitation to spend Christmas Eve with us. I felt even more confident then, with our steady and getting stronger by the day relationship.
When we drove back to his house, I decided that tonight I was going to tell him about the Lombardo film. I just hoped that he would take it lightly and be happy for me.
Changed and ready for bed, Carter gathered me in his arms and started kissing me.
“Carter?” I asked, breaking off our kiss.
I looked at him while he waited for me to speak. “I have to tell you something important…something that I really love and
am really excited about. I want you to have an open mind and let me finish talking before you say anything, okay?”
I waited for him to nod before I continued. “I got chosen to be the lead
actress of a movie alongside Bass. It won’t start filming until May in Greece. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I have always loved acting even if my experience is only from my high school drama class. But I love it and I believe that this opportunity could start my career if everything turns out well.”
Carter let go of me and stared at the ceiling. His usual demeanor when he’s deep
in thought. After a few seconds of him not muttering anything, I touched his arm.
“Carter, say something?”
“I’m happy for you, Em. I really am. But concerning you working with Bass? Not so much. He wants you. I don’t know if he’ll stop the next time. Right now, I’m thinking that he’s probably waiting for the right opportunity to draw you in. I know men like him quite well because I was one. And I have a feeling that this movie will be the best excuse and the best advantage for him to do it.”
No, Bass and I were through. I
hadn’t even heard from him. From what I could gather from the media that followed him day and night, he was busy living his life partying and playing hard on the field…of vaginas.
“That phase with Bass is done, Carter. You have nothing to worry about. I’m with you now and we’re doing
so
great,
you’re being so great
and you make me very happy. I can’t help but love you a little more each day.”
He turned on his side and cupped my cheek. His eyes spoke volumes and it didn’t take a second for me to succumb to his will. His love rolled
over me with his kisses, his touch and his mastery.
Carter showed me his universe that night
as he slowly made love to me.
“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.”
- Javan
I got to spend Christmas day with Lindsey and Carter at their aunt and uncle’s house in Montecito. This would be the first time that I met them and I had all these bad scenarios already in my head about them. I thought Carter didn’t speak about them much because, you know, they were awful or something.