She lifted her face to look at him, needing to know. “Who does?”
He didn’t try to misunderstand. “No one. Not in a very long time, anyway. Why?”
She thought of Richard’s new wife. “I need to know if I’d be first or second string.”
She thought she might see his one-sided smile, but his mouth remained completely serious. “First.” He swept his thumb across her lip, sending a tingle down her body. “You were married before.”
“And divorced.”
“Were you second string?” he asked, so very quietly.
“More like water boy,” she said with a half smile of her own.
Still he didn’t smile. “Did you love him?”
“I thought I did. But I think I just didn’t want to be alone in the night.”
“So he was there for you . . .” His eyes grew intense. “. . . in the night.”
“No. At the beginning he was a resident in the hospital where I worked. We dated a few times. My roommate had moved out and before I knew it, he’d moved in. I saw him at the hospital, but our off-hours didn’t seem to mesh well. He wasn’t home a lot.”
“But you married him.”
“Yes.” They’d kind of wandered their way into marriage, she and Richard. She honestly couldn’t remember the moment he’d proposed.
“Did you love him?”
It was the second time he’d asked the question. “No. I wanted to. But I didn’t.”
“Was he kind to you?”
She smiled then. “Yes. Richard is . . . he’s a nice man. He’s good to children and he likes dogs . . .” She stopped when she realized the direction her words were going. “But I think he viewed me as something of a challenge. His own little Eliza Doolittle.”
He frowned. “Why would he want to change you?”
For a moment she stared. His words were a sweet balm, easing the disappointment she’d felt at never being quite what Richard needed, or what she’d wanted to be for both of them. “Most of it was me, I think. I wanted to be . . . interesting. Dynamic. Unbridled.”
He lifted his brows. “Unbridled?”
She laughed self-consciously. “You know.” She waggled her brows and he nodded, but still didn’t smile.
“You wanted to make him come home to you.”
“I suppose so. But I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be. What I wanted me to be.”
“So he left?”
“No, I did. Hospitals are like small towns. Lots of secrets hidden below the surface. Richard had affairs. All very discreet.” She held his gaze. “He should have just left me, but he didn’t want to hurt me.”
Daniel winced. “Point made. So you left?”
“He met someone, luckily not one of the nurses. I couldn’t have stayed then.”
He was frowning. “I thought you left.”
“I left him. By this point we’d bought a house, and I let him have it. But I wouldn’t leave the hospital. I was there first.”
He blinked at her. “You gave him the house, but not the job.”
“Exactly.” She said it matter-of-factly, because to her, it was. “He’d finished his residency and had signed on as a full-time ER doc. Everyone expected me to leave, I think. To go to pedes or surgery or something. But I like the ER. So I didn’t leave.”
He looked nonplussed. “I guess that makes for some awkward moments.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” She shrugged. “Anyway, I moved out of the house a year ago and the new wife moved right in behind me. They’re . . . good together.”
“That’s magnanimous of you,” he said warily, and she laughed ruefully.
“I guess I liked him enough not to want him to be unhappy. Meredith, now, she’d like to see him strung between two anthills and dipped in honey.”
Finally that one side of his mouth lifted, lifting her heart with it. “Note to self,” he murmured. “Don’t piss Meredith off.”
She nodded once, pleased to have been able to make him smile. “Exactly.”
But too quickly his smile faded. “Were you dreaming again tonight?”
Thinking about the dreams made her cold again. “Yes.” She rubbed her arms to get warm and he took over, pulling her against him, rubbing her back briskly. The man was like a furnace, warm and strong and male, and she snuggled closer, wanting more.
And finding it in the pulse of his hard arousal against her hip.
She sucked in a breath, suddenly much warmer. He wanted her. And she wanted him. But before she could decide what to say or do, he shifted, settling her away from his lap, and all that wonderful, sensual heat disappeared. His arms came hard around her and he tucked her head under his chin. “I’m sorry,” he murmured against her hair.
She pulled back to see his face. He was wearing a guilty look. “Why?”
He glanced at Meredith’s door. “Look, I promised you that nothing would happen that you didn’t want to happen.”
“Yesterday, in the car. I remember. And so? Nothing
has
happened.” She lifted her chin. “Not yet anyway. That could change.”
His chest expanded and his blue eyes grew dark. Still he resisted. “If Hatton hadn’t come knocking on that door last night . . . I was trying to . . .” He closed his eyes, his cheeks darkening. “I wanted you. If we hadn’t been interrupted I might have tried to push you into something you weren’t ready for.”
Alex considered the most appropriate response. He was trying to take care of her, and while she found it sweet, she was leaning toward being very annoyed. “Daniel.” She waited until he opened his eyes. “I’m not sixteen anymore and do not want to be any kind of a victim in your eyes or anybody else’s. I’ll be thirty on my next birthday. I have a good job. A good life. And the good sense to make my own decisions.”
He nodded, respect in his eyes. It was grim, but it was respect. “Understood.”
“But, Daniel.” She hooked her finger inside his loosened tie, trying for sultry, but sounding wistful instead. “I still want to be . . . unbridled.”
His eyes flared. Then he was kissing her and she could feel the heat and power of his mouth. Then he was rolling her beneath him and she could feel the heat and power of his body as he thrust against her, his movements hard and deliberate. His hands held the sides of her face, his fingers shoving into her hair and he moved her head, this way, then that, until he found the perfect fit.
And then he feasted, a low groan that sounded like her name rumbling from deep in his throat. Alex held on, determined to enjoy every minute of the wild ride for as long as it lasted. She met him thrust for thrust and when he nudged her mouth open she complied, learning the varied textures of his lips, his seeking tongue.
Too soon he lifted his head to drag in a lungful of air. He looked down, his eyes dark and hot and slightly dangerous. “That was . . .”
“Really good,” she whispered, startling a soft laugh from him.
“Really good? I expected more from a woman who comes up with ‘unbridled.’ ”
She arched her brows. “That’s because I wasn’t yet. Unbridled, that is.”
His lips twitched, but his eyes remained intense. “Next time you will be,” he murmured. “Now go back to bed.” He started to shift, to lift his body from hers and in a split second of certainty she knew what she wanted. With both hands she grabbed his belt and yanked him back, pressing her heels down into the sofa and her body up into his until she could feel him throbbing against her again, hot and hard. “I don’t want to.”
His eyes widened, then narrowed. “No. There’s no way. Not here.”
Feeling a power of her own, she held on to his belt when he tried to move again, realizing that if he’d really wanted to be gone, he would have been. He wanted this, too. She rolled her hips in what she hoped was a blatant invitation. “Why not?”
He was looking at her with an incredulity and a . . . carnal craving that made her own desire treble. “You want a freaking
list
?” he whispered.
“No, I want you to shut up and kiss me again.”
Relief had his shoulders slumping. “That I can do.” And he did with a kiss that started sweet, but quickly became hot and wet, dragging her back down into the swirling mass of needs and wants that she had no intention of escaping. She tugged at his shirt until she’d pulled the tails free and was free to explore the smooth skin she’d only glimpsed before. He groaned into her mouth. “Alex, stop.”
Her fingers stopped stroking and she pulled back far enough to see his face. “You really want me to?” she whispered and held her breath as want and responsibility warred in his eyes. After what seemed like an eternity he shook his head.
“No.”
The breath she held rushed out. “Good.” Nimbly she freed the buttons up the front of his shirt, then pulled the tie over his head and dropped it on the floor. Finally she had full access to his warm, hard chest, and she fanned her hands side, to side, feeling every flex and ripple. Golden hair covered him and she brushed at it with her fingertips, trailing lower until his abs twitched. “Daniel, look at you,” she whispered.
He kissed her again, softly this time. When he answered, his whisper was husky. Tender. “I’d rather look at you.” He pulled at the belt of her robe and caught her nightshirt in one hand. “Lift up.” She did and he pulled the nightshirt over her hips, continuing until she felt the cool air on her breasts. She shivered.
Then closed her eyes when his body slid down hers and his mouth closed over her. She shivered again, but this time from the heat. He sucked and fondled until she was thrusting against him, her hands in his hair, pulling him closer. He switched to the other breast, and she twisted, knowing she could get no closer, but trying nonetheless.
His hand flattened on her stomach and she sucked in a breath and held it, waiting. But he didn’t move it up or down, just kept it lightly resting, and she realized he was waiting for permission. Encouragement, even. Instead she begged. “Please.”
The single syllable launched him back into motion and his fingers slipped under the cotton that still covered her and she knew she’d been right about how good that thumb of his would feel. He made her shiver and shudder, but when she whimpered for more he shifted his mouth back to hers, swallowing her little moans.
She was so close. Digging her heels into the sofa cushions she surged against his hand until her blood was pounding and every nerve on every last inch of skin was firing. Until finally, light exploded behind her eyelids and she fell back against the cushions, panting and feeling better than she’d felt . . . possibly ever.
He dropped his forehead to her shoulder, his body rigid, his breathing labored. “Okay.” His murmur was ragged. “Now go to bed. Please.”
But his hand was still touching her intimately and she knew there was no way she could sleep now. Her pulse still thrummed and she still . . . needed. Judging from the way his body was still pulsing against her thigh, Daniel felt the same way.
She slid her hands to his belt and he lunged up, his brows crunched in a mighty frown. The hand that had worked such magic caught her wrist, but Alex had nimble fingers and she’d already worked the belt loose.
“What are you doing?” he hissed and she blinked at him.
“What do you think I’m doing?” she countered.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I thought I said go to bed.”
She feathered her fingers along the skin at his waist and his abs convulsed, his body going taut. “You really want me to?” she whispered once again. She watched his face, his struggle obvious. Then he strained up to look at Meredith’s door over the back of the sofa and Alex swallowed her smile even as she grabbed the edges of his shirt and pulled him down on her. He fell with a hard thump and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him as he’d kissed her before. With a growl he took over, his mouth hungry, almost savage. The thrusts of his hips were hard and equally savage.
He ripped his mouth away. “This is crazy,” he whispered against her lips. “We’re not teenagers having sex on this sofa.”
“No, I’m almost thirty and I want to have sex on this sofa.” She met his eyes with challenge. “With you. So do you want me to stop?”
“No,” he said, his answer strangled and hoarse. “But are you sure?”
“Oh, yes. I’m very sure.” She eased down his zipper. Her first touch was tentative, but his body jerked and he hissed out a curse. Quickly she pulled her hand away. “But if you’re not . . . I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable—”
He silenced her with a hard kiss, then flipped the snap on his holster and carefully put his gun on the floor. He wrestled his wallet from his back pocket, pulled out a condom and tossed his wallet next to his gun. He looked down into her face, his blue eyes brighter than the core of a flame and twice as hot. “Be sure, Alex.”
Keeping her gaze on his, she slid the cotton panties down her legs and kicked them away. “Please, Daniel.” His eyes jerked down to the skin she bared. She watched his throat work as he tried to swallow and suddenly understood this moment was more than a mating between two consenting and extremely attracted adults. It would be the moment she ceased to be a victim in his eyes.
And perhaps in her own. “Please, Daniel,” she whispered again.
For three hard beats of her heart he stared down at her, then with unsteady hands he ripped the packet and covered himself. Slipping his arms beneath her back, he cradled her head between his palms and settled himself between her thighs. He took her mouth with a quiet authority that was more intense than his most reckless kisses had been. Then he entered her with a slow reverence that stole her breath.