Screw the Fags (5 page)

Bloody hell. “You really are going to give me a heart attack one of these days, you know that? Now come over here and get back to sucking me off.”

“Yes, boss.”

This time Alasdair grabbed hold of Cosmo’s head and took control of the pace, forcing him deep. Cosmo moaned and his eyes watered. Spit ran down his chin and soaked into Alasdair’s trousers. Everyone was going to be able to tell exactly what they’d been up to when they walked out of the office.

But screw it. Exactly whose business was it if Alasdair wanted to have some fun with his boyfriend at work? He was the boss, after all.

It was with great satisfaction that Alasdair pulled out on the brink of orgasm and shot all over Cosmo’s lips and chin. Cosmo’s tongue hung out, clearly desperate to catch some and Alasdair let him lick the last spurts from his throbbing dick.

“Thank you, boss,” Cosmo moaned, “But can I come now, please?”

“After that little act of insubordination? I think not. Not until we get home anyway.”

Cosmo screwed his eyes up tight but instead of protesting like Alasdair expected, he nodded.

“Good boy.” Alasdair leant down and kissed him on the forehead. “You make me proud, you know that?”

“I do try,” Cosmo whispered.

“I believe you. Now go get yourself cleaned up. You look like someone’s just come all over your face.”

“Yeah. You.”

“Yes, but I don’t want everyone knowing that.”

“Like Mavis won’t have told them all.”

“Still, as stunningly sexy as you look like that, it’s for my eyes only.”

Oh, those were the right words. Cosmo’s eyes lit up with joy and he bounded up to search for tissues.

Pleasing Cosmo. He was getting better at it all the time. He just had to hope he got it right tomorrow on the big day.

***

Alasdair woke to an empty bed, sometime in the middle of the night. He checked his alarm clock. Three a.m. Where the hell was Cosmo? His side of the bed was cold, and he couldn’t hear him in the en suite bathroom.

Alasdair dragged himself out of bed and pulled a dressing gown over his nakedness, then stepped out onto the landing. There was a light emanating from somewhere downstairs, and he could hear the soft sound of a cigarette lighter sparking.

Shit.

With a heavy heart, Alasdair followed the light down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Cosmo slumped in one of the kitchen chairs, wearing nothing more than a pair of low-riding trackie bottoms, staring moodily at the lighter in his hand as he flicked at the sparker wheel. But there was no stink of tobacco in the air, and that last emergency rollie still sat in its plastic bag on the table in front of him.

“I missed you in bed.” Alasdair leaned back against the doorframe and waited.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Cosmo eventually offered.

“You must be freezing. Here, take this.” Alasdair walked over and shrugged off his dressing gown before draping it over Cosmo’s shoulders.

“Thanks.” Cosmo shivered. “Now you’re going to get cold, though.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll make us some tea.”

“Can I have a cocoa instead, please?”

Cosmo’s comfort drink. The one he only ever had when he felt utterly dejected. Alasdair would have to tread carefully, give him time to confide. He fought down the urge to give another anti-smoking pep talk. It wasn’t like Cosmo didn’t know the dangers involved. No one could avoid it these days, what with those gory pictures of tumours the government made them print on the packets. Alasdair pulled the cocoa and sugar out of the cupboard and poured some milk into a pan. Enough for two cups. Misery loved company.

“Did I ever tell you about my first cigarette?” Cosmo asked, his voice soft, almost hesitant.

“I thought you used to light them for your nan all the time.”

“Yeah, I did. But this was the first time I had one for myself and smoked all the way through. I was twelve.”

“Behind the bike sheds at school?”

“Nope. It was at home, in the middle of the night. I’d been picked on that day at school. Nothing too bad, just name-calling. You know the kind of thing.
Cosmo’s a Gaylord. Cosmo sucks dick. Backs to the wall, Cosmo’s about
.”

Alasdair ground his teeth but kept his cool as he switched off the heat and began pouring warm milk into the mugs. “What was it like?”

“The bullying? Made me feel like shit. Angry. Helpless. Not ashamed, though. I was fucked if I was going to apologise for who I fancied.”

That sounded about right. There was his little fighter again. Belligerent Cosmo was much easier to deal with than dejected Cosmo. But then again, maybe it was the depression he should be addressing. “I meant the cigarette. How did it make you feel?”

“Dizzy to begin with, then kind of nauseous. Stood up too fast and thought I was going to fall over.”

“Yet you still wanted to smoke again?” Alasdair set the mugs down carefully, then lowered his bare arse onto the seat of the chair next to Cosmo. Chilly, but he didn’t want to leave Cosmo to go and find more clothing.

“Yeah, I did. It wasn’t so much about the physical effects, but it did something in here.” Cosmo tapped his head, before taking a sip of steaming cocoa. “Mmm, that’s perfect. Thanks.”

“In your head?” Alasdair prompted.

“Hmm? Oh, the cigarette. Yep, it made me feel stronger. More grown up. Like I could cope with the situation. Didn’t need anyone else’s help, see? Just me and the ciggie. We had an understanding.”

Alasdair stared into the bubbles on the top of his drink. “So it was like having a friend?”

“That’s it. Exactly. A friend. I didn’t have many of those at the time. The other lads at school had started avoiding me in case they got accused of being my boyfriend. I had a few girlfriends, but they couldn’t really understand what I was going through, and they weren’t always around. Couldn’t call one of them up in the middle of the night when I was feeling low, could I? But the ciggies, they’ve been there for me through everything. Every time I’ve needed a boost, or a quiet moment. Whenever it gets too much for me. They never nag me or demand anything for themselves.” Cosmo reached out and stroked the plastic bag with such fondness it almost made Alasdair regret asking him to give them up.

Almost, but not quite.

“They do demand something, though, don’t they?”

Cosmo sighed. “Yeah, I just didn’t notice until it was too late. All they want is my eternal devotion. They’ve got me bloody well craving them every single hour of the day. All I can think about is lighting one up and sucking it down. Fuck it. It’s worse than being in love.” Now his hand on the bag wasn’t so gentle, and Alasdair watched the plastic crinkle under his fingers.

“Is it that bad, being in love?”

“It is when it’s all one-sided. When you give, give, give and don’t get anything much in return.”

Oh God, was that how Cosmo saw their relationship? Did Alasdair need to make more declarations of his undying love? Did he need to let Cosmo take the reins more often?

“You do know how much I love you, don’t you? I know it might not always look that way when I’m ordering you around, but—”

“What on earth are you on about?”

“I just really hope you don’t think you’re the only one giving. If you feel that way then I’ll just have to try harder to show you how I really feel about you.”

Cosmo gave him an incredulous look that made Alasdair feel like an idiot. “Alasdair, I’m talking about the cigarettes.”

“Oh. Good.”

“You thought I was talking about us?”

“Well... maybe.”

“You’re a real numbskull sometimes, you know that?”

Alasdair stared down at his drink and kept his trap shut.

“You want to know what I was thinking about when you got down here?” Cosmo’s voice gentled as he laid a hand on Alasdair’s thigh. “I was thinking how I was finally strong enough to give them up, because I’ve got you now. I don’t need them anymore. If I’m sad in the middle of the night I can talk to you.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“What do you think I’m doing now?”

“You could have woken me. I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I wanted a few minutes alone with the emergency cigarette before I said goodbye to it.”

“You mean... you’re going to smoke it?”

Cosmo’s lips twisted up into a wry smile. “I’d like to, for old time’s sake, but that isn’t what I was planning. I was going to stick it down the waste disposal.”

“And?”

“Would you help me?” Cosmo stood, lifting the bag. “I know I can manage it if you’re with me.”

And so they stood by the sink, Alasdair behind Cosmo, arms around his waist and head resting on his shoulder, watching as the bag disappeared down into the grinding mechanism.

“Bye, bye, sweetheart,” Cosmo said, then leaned his head back against Alasdair.

“How are you doing?”

Cosmo’s forehead scrunched up. “Surprisingly good, actually. I feel like... like I’m free.”

“Not too free, I hope.”

“I’m still one hundred percent yours, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Damn right.”

“For such an arrogant, toppy bastard, you can be surprisingly insecure.”

“I feel secure when I’m with you.”

“Good. Now let’s go get safe and secure together in bed. And no, that wasn’t an invitation to padlock me to the headboard, thank you very much,” Cosmo wriggled his arse against Alasdair’s suddenly interested dick. “I need some sleep before another day at work with you.”

Alasdair nuzzled Cosmo’s neck. “I don’t reckon you need to come in again. You seem to be over the worst of it now.”

“Hmmm, you could be right.

“I’m one hundred percent right.”

“Fine. You can tie me up and have your wicked way with me, then. Just don’t blame me if you oversleep and end up late for work.”

“I’m not going into work, either.”

“You’re not?” Cosmo laid a hand on Alasdair’s forehead. “Are you feeling all right there, boss?”

“Haha. I’m fine. But you know what day it is, don’t you?”

“How could I forget? Not that anyone’s wished me a Happy Birthday yet or anything.”

“Sorry. Happy Birthday.” He turned Cosmo round and kissed him on the nose. “I’ve got plans, though. I’m taking you shopping, and then out to lunch.”

“Shopping?” Cosmo wrinkled his nose. “You know I hate shopping.”

“Not when it’s for a new car, you don’t.”

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly serious.” Alasdair couldn’t help cracking a smile at the look on Cosmo’s face.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou-so-fucking-much.”

“Don’t mentio—”Over enthusiastic kisses cut off Alasdair’s response. When Cosmo eventually came up for air, he reckoned they must both have looked that dazed and horny.

“Upstairs. Now,” Alasdair growled. “You’ve proven you can screw the fags. Now I want you to prove how well you can screw me.”

“Yes, boss. Anything you say, boss.” Cosmo grinned like a maniac and tugged Alasdair after him towards the staircase. “I’ll show you how I can screw the biggest
fag
of them all.”

“Cheeky bugger. I can see someone’s after a spanking.”

Cosmo chuckled and slipped Alasdair’s grip. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

He ran up the stairs, Alasdair pounding after him.

End

About the Story

Screw the Fags
is my way of giving something back to my readers, and of tying off one of the loose ends remaining at the end of
Screwing the System
: Cosmo’s smoking habit. I really enjoyed this chance to revisit the two characters ten months into their relationship and explore how their approach to domestic discipline had developed over time.

I know that some of the people reading this as a freebie probably won’t have read the original story, and I did my best to avoid giving spoilers. I hope reading this has piqued your interest enough to want to find out more about how these two unlikely partners ended up together.

Screwing the System