Sea Breeze 03 While It Lasts

While It Lasts

Copyright © 2012 by
Abbi
Glines

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes. If you are reading this book and you have not purchased it or won it in an author/publisher contest, this book has been pirated. Please delete and support the author by purchasing the
ebook
from one of its many distributors.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

For information concerning the cover art please visit Stephanie Mooney’s website at

http://stephaniemooney.blogspot.com

Editor:
Stephanie T. Lott a.k.a. Bibliophile

Published by
Abbi
Glines

16125 County Road 13

Fairhope, AL 36532

“Your
Mom brought me the letter today.” T
he pain in my chest was so sharp I had to fight to keep from bending over and screaming. “I read every last word. Several times.”

The autumn wind caressed my face but wasn’t enough to dry my tears. The tears were endless. Never ceasing. Swallowing hard
,
I forced myself to continue. I needed him to hear me. “It isn’t fair you know… a letter isn’t the proper way to say goodbye. It sucks, Josh. It sucks so damn bad.”
A
sob tore from my chest. I pressed my fist against my heart. How much more pain could it take before it just
exploded into a million pieces?

“You always told me we’d grow old together. We’d sit on our front porch swing, holding hands and watching our grandkids play in the yard. You promised me that,” I choked out as I pressed
my thumb against
the tiny
diamond
solitaire that he’d placed on my finger just six months ago.

“You broke your promise. You’ve never broken
a
promise
before
.
T
his time you let me down and left me th
is
letter
.  How do I move on from
this
, huh? Did you expect me to just read it and everything would be better? Did you expect me t
o cry a few tears then move on?”
I would get no response. Nothing more than the
letter weighing
heavy in my back pocket.  It was
so tear-
stained now that several of the words were hard to read. Didn’t matter though. I had it all memorized. Every. Last. Word.

“I started to write you a letter and bring it to you today.
My chance at a few last words
—
b
ut I couldn’t.
I can’t scream and yell in a letter.
Words on paper can’t hold
the emotions churning inside me.
” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the worn letter that would haunt me
for
the rest of my life.

“Instead of writing you a letter I decided I’d respond to yours in person. It’s only fair. No… it isn’t
fair
,” I spat angrily, “b
ecause none of this is fair but this is all I get. This is all you allowed me to have.”

I opened the one
page letter
carefully. I didn’t want to
tear i
t because
the words written on
it,
were all I had left.
I began to read aloud:

“
My Eva Blue
.” F
resh tears streamed down my face. Just reading the nickname Josh had given me when we were nine years old was painful. How could I read this entire letter
a
loud without crumbling to the ground?

“The fact I’m writing this letter pains me more than you could ever know.  This isn’t something I ever want you to read but I know that you deserve a goodbye. You deserve so much more than that and God willing you will get the perfect life
that we’ve spent hours together daydreaming about
.
” I stopped reading and lifted my eyes from the words on the paper.

“We made those plans, Josh.
You and me.
Th
ose aren’t just my plans. They’
re
our
plans, damn you!
How could you just leave me? We had it all figured out. All those nights spent lying under the stars choosing the names of our children, the color of our bedroom, the flowers we’d plant in the pots on our front porch, the summer house we’d have on the beach, ALL OF THAT WAS US!”

Another tear rolled down my face and I quickly swiped it away with my hand before it could drop to the paper
below
. I had to finish this. As hard as reading this was
,
I had to finish it. This would never be closure. I’d never get closure.
This
would be the closest thing I
’d ever ge
t to
a
goodbye.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I looked into those pretty blue eyes of yours. Even at five years old
,
I knew there’d never be a girl that could take your place in my heart. No one would ever compare to you. It would always be you for me, Eva Brooks. Always. Please remember that, you were all that ever mattered to me. No one else ever touched my
heart
the way you did. My life was marked with every year I grew more and more in love with the
wild, crazy, beautiful girl next-
door. I lived in awe that
this perfect angel wanted me, t
hat this amazing woman would be my wife. The life we planned.
The life we dreamed about was what kept me going as long as I did.”
Sinking to the ground
,
I pulled my knees against my chest and sobbed as I forced my eyes to focus on the words I had to read. I had to. I had to.

“I pray to God you never have to read this letter. I want this to be a letter I pull out of my box one day
for you to read
when we are old and gray. We can smile and r
e
alize how much we have to be thankful for that this letter was never needed. But Eva, if you do receive this letter fr
om my mom one day, then
know
:
I
loved you until my last breat
h. You were the only thing on
my mind when I closed my eyes the last time.
Our time together was more perfect than anyone’s life should be.
The life I lived was heaven on E
arth because I spent it with you.”

“Oh God
,
Josh, I can
’t do this without you! I can’t do this without you. I love you so much. Please, please God,” I wept loudly. No one heard me. The graveyard was empty. The last few lines of the letter were the most impossible to accept. How could he even think that his words were possible?

“One day you will heal. Life will go on for you. Another guy will be lucky enough to find a place in your heart. When that happens, love him. Move on. Live that life of happiness that you deserve. Know that I loved you. Know that you made my life complete. But move on Eva. Love again. Live your life.”

Love,

Josh

Eighteen months
later…

Cage

             
“Thanks for giving me a ride,” I said
,
reaching for my duffle bag
holding
my entire summer wardrobe.

             
“I did it for Low,” Marcus Hardy reminded me for the second time. My best friend was a chick— a smoking hot chick. Marcus, her fiancé, was an elitist ass
at times but I dealt with him; h
ad to if I wanted to keep Low in my life. All that mattered was that he understood tha
t Low walked on fucking water. As l
ong as he kept that in mind and treated her as such, I could live with the prick.

             
“I never questioned that,” I replied with a smirk
,
pulling the straps of my bag up on my shoulder.  Turning my attention from Marcus
,
I looked at the large white
and tan
farmhouse in front of me.
It was surrounded by miles and mi
les of green grass and a
helluva
lot of cows— m
y purgatory for the entire summer
. Glancing back at Marcus I nodded and started to close the door. I knew he was ready to get back to Sea Breeze where Low was waiting on him. No one wanted to be stuck in this fucking cow town.

             
“Cage. Wait,” Marcus called out before I could completely close the truck door. Slowly
,
I opened it back up and arched an eyebrow in question. What else could Marcus want with me? He’d barely spoken to me on the hour ride up here.

             
“Don’t screw this up, okay. Stay sober. Don’t drive a car until you get your license back and try not
to
piss off your coach’s brother. Your future is riding on this summer
and you’re upsetting Low. I don’t want her worried about you. Think about someone other than yourself for a change.”
Well hell, I’d jus
t got a parental lecture from Marcus fucking Hardy. Wasn’t that sweet?

             
“I know what happens if I screw things up
,
Marcus.
Thanks for the reminder though.
” I let the sarcasm drip from my
voice
.

             
Marcus frowned and started to say something more before just shaking his head and putting his truck in reverse. Conversation over. Good.
The
guy
should learn to mind his own damn business.

             
I slammed the door and turned my attention back
to
the house while Marcus’s tires spun out of
the gravel drive.
Guess I’d better go meet my warden for the rest of the summer and get this party started.
All I had
to do was make this guy happy. I’d t
ake care of his cows and do manual labor for t
wo and a half
months then my coach wouldn’t kick
my ass off the baseball team. The
DUI
,
he’d had to bail me out of
jail for,
would be forgotten and my
baseball
scholarship
would remain intact. I only had
three problems with this plan: