SEAL'd Perfection The Complete Collection: A Navy SEAL Romance (27 page)

I nodded, remembering the way my own sense of smell had gone into hyper drive. I hadn’t minded dog smell, but for whatever reason, eggs cooking were enough to push me over the edge—which was unfortunate as that was Mitch’s staple breakfast. “There’s some crackers on the table. Do you need more water?” I asked, turning away from the sliding glass door.

“Thanks, Katherine, that’s really sweet of you.” She took a cracker from the plate and nibbled the edges.

“So, Jax seems to be really helpful in all this,” I said lightly, smiling at her as she sat down at the table.

She laughed. “No kidding! He’s a sweet boy, but his bedside manner could use some work. Every time I get sick he runs for his life like that.”

Despite myself, I laughed along and sat down at the table, marveling that it was the first time we’d had anything bordering on a real conversation with each other. “Does he know about the baby?” I asked.

Hannah nodded, and took a gulp of water before answering, “We told him, but I don’t know if he really
gets
it yet. He’ll do great though. He’ll be amazing with his little sister,” Hannah said, smiling to herself in a dreamy, far away kind of way.

My heart twisted sharply and I felt my own wave of nausea. I’d known that Hannah was pregnant for a little over a month, but hadn’t seen her baby bump, and while that alone had almost been enough to push me over the edge, hearing her say that she was having a little girl was like a knife right into my chest. I took a slow, steady breath and did my best to plaster on a smile. “Congratulations.”

Hannah snapped to attention, her cheeks warming to a deep pink, as though realizing what she’d just said. “I’m sorry, Katherine. This is—wow—I’m sorry.” She stood from the chair and pushed it back in carefully. “I should go.”

“It’s okay,” I said softly. “I’m gonna have to get used to it. At least once a week, I guess.”

The emotions compounded, one hitting right after the other, leaving me breathless, my head spinning with a whole new set of terrors. If Mitch and Hannah won full custody, resigning me to once weekly visits…I stopped the thought, freezing it in my mind before it could unfold further.

Hannah looked down at me, her eyes glossy. “I truly am sorry, Katherine. I know I’ve never said that to you before, but this wasn’t—we didn’t—I never knew.”

I looked up at her. “Never knew what?”

She took a deep breath, glancing from side to side as though fearing an audience. “I probably shouldn’t say, but when Mitch and I first started…well, you know…um, I didn’t know you were together. He told me that you two were separated, ready to divorce. He never wore his ring, and…I never wanted to tear apart a family.” Hannah’s confession floored me. I couldn’t breathe as I looked up into her tear filled eyes, as she watched me. “Anyways, this whole custody thing, I know that it’s hard, but please believe me when I say I want what’s best for Jax and that I’m not going to try and replace you. I couldn’t.”

“I—I really don’t even know what to say…” I licked my lips, gathering my thoughts. “I appreciate you telling me that, but I don’t understand. I mean, why marry him, after he lied to you like that?”

Hannah looked down at her wedding ring, twisting the diamond covered band around her slightly swollen finger. “He loves me. And, I know it’s not perfect, but he takes care of me, and we’re happy together.”

Although she looked the same, and nothing had changed in the last few minutes, it felt like I was just meeting her for the first time. For the past two years, she’d been this cardboard cutout of a woman to me. She was just a shell, the mistress. The younger, bouncier model that Mitch had replaced me with. I’d never let myself think about who she really was as a person, and what the inner workings of their marriage might look like.

“Hannah, you have the power to stop this madness,” I said, suddenly desperate for her to hear me. “Mitch won’t listen to me. He’s bent on vengeance for all the things he thinks I did to wrong him. He can’t—or won’t—see that it’s hurting our son. Please, I know you care about Jax, and now you have this new little one to think about too, help me fix this before it’s too late.”

Hannah gnawed on her lower lip, meeting my eyes again. “I’ve been trying, Katherine. But, you know how Mitch is…”

“Bullheaded?”

She smiled slightly and reached over to brush my shoulder. “I’m trying. Know that.”

I nodded at her, still in shock that we were even having the conversation. Before I could plead further, she turned away and started back towards my front door, grabbing her purse from where she’d dropped it on the entry way floor. “Thanks again, Katherine.”

“Sure.”

Hannah looked down the hall. “Tell you what—Mitch is out of town till Sunday night. Why don’t you keep Jax the extra day? I’ll pick him up Sunday on my way to the airport.”

My heart swelled in my chest, ready to burst with joy. I nodded frantically, tears forming in my eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered, a tear slipping past my lashes.

Hannah gave another small smile and then left, softly closing the door behind her.

I took a moment to myself, processing the events of the afternoon, before going down the hall to snuggle Jax as long as he’d let me.

As promised, Hannah let me keep Jax until Sunday afternoon, and while the weekend was the best I’d had in a long time, watching them drive away, Jax in the backseat, waving frantically from his car seat, my heart was aching on a whole new level. Hannah had been sweet to me, and smiled more than I’d ever seen her, as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders since our last conversation. However, the relief of tension between us faded to the background as she bundled Jax into his coat and talked to him about going to pick up Daddy at the airport. He’d bounced around and squealed with glee, making it tricky for Hannah to get him zipped up, but she laughed and they both left with broad smiles. Naturally, it made me smile to see my son so happy, but there was a sting to the whole scene that left me feeling like an outsider looking in on a private, family moment.

All I could do was hope it wasn’t a glimpse into my future. Small snippets of time with my son, ferrying him between the time spent with his “real” family. Including his soon to be little sister.

I shut the door against the thought and went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine, needing something to take the edge off before I went crazy.

Luckily, before I was able to delve too deeply into that pit of despair, Hilda came over with dinner and a sympathetic ear. She’d joined us on a trip to the park the day before, with a couple of other toddlers that she babysat off and on. It had been nice to have company, and watching Jax go nuts seeing her again, we hadn’t had a chance to talk one on one without little ears nearby. I retrieved two plates, and she served up her homemade enchilada pie with smoked chili sauce, while I filled her in on my conversation with Hannah.

“She didn’t
know
?” She scoffed, when I finished. “My left toe, she didn’t! A woman knows. She chose to ignore, that’s what she did.”

I sat down and twirled my fork through a string of melted cheese, considering her statement. “I don’t know, Hilda,” I sighed. “I believe her. And after she left, I got to thinking about that day, when I walked in on them, and found her half naked in the closet of Mitch’s office, and it fits, she certainly wasn’t some harpy who thought she won a prize.”

Hilda laughed. “
That
, my dear, is because Mitch is no prize.”

“True.…” I smothered a smile and popped a bite of the steaming dish into my mouth.

Hilda joined me at the table, and smiled at me, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. I arched a brow at her, my mouth too full to ask what she was thinking. “Heard from your man?” She asked, her smile growing broader.

My cheeks warmed and I paused to take a sip of water before I dared to look at Hilda again. I couldn’t say exactly why hearing Jace being referred to as “
my man”
was so jarring, especially since I’d begun to think of him that way ever since he told me he was leaving and we’d been together that last time, but something about it shook me up a little inside. “I uh—haven’t heard anything,” I admitted, realizing as I said the words…
that
was the reason it was so hard. I didn’t want to talk about Jace, because talking about him, led to even more thinking about him, and the fact that I hadn’t heard from him in nearly a month and a half did things to the inside of my heart, twisting it into a wrung out rag.

“I’m sure you will. That man is crazy about you,” Hilda replied, before turning her attention to her dinner.

I didn’t say anything, but couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as we continued eating.

After Hilda left, I poured myself another glass of wine. Despite what Hilda had said, my stomach was twisted in tight knots as I took the full to the brim glass to the couch and sank down into the worn cushions. One of Jax’s action figures was sticking into my backside, and I cursed as I dug the little plastic man from underneath me, but teared up as I tossed it aside.

God. When had I turned into such a disaster?

My laptop was sitting on the couch and I tugged it towards me. I had a bunch of homework to catch up on since my weekend was drawing to a close. I set my glass aside and went to retrieve my spiral notebook from my bedside table. I’d begun reading over some notes the night before after putting Jax to bed, but my eyes had glazed over less than half a page in, and I’d set it aside to crash. When I returned to the couch, my screen had a flashing icon, loading up the email inbox. There were dozens of emails, all unopened as I hadn’t been on my computer in several days. I flicked through, deleting the copious amounts of junk mail, wondering how on earth I’d managed to get on so many marketing lists, when I stopped dead, my finger hovering above the delete button, unable to believe my eyes.

There was a message from Jace. Subject line:
Hey Gorgeous.

My heart jolted to life, pounding out a frantic rhythm that knocked loose all the caged up memories of Jace, and they all tumbled through my stream of consciousness, like pictures from a movie, one after the other. Jace at the diner. His bad boy smile, his tattoos, and his bad ass Harley. Jace’s tight fitting jeans and the way he moved. Jace’s lips, thick, dark hair, the way he smelled. Jace with Jax, helping him wash his hands for dinner and cutting his chicken into tiny, perfect, toddler sized bites without being asked. Jace’s fingers in my hair. His breath on my skin. The way he felt inside me.

I shivered at the last selection of images and thoughts, warmth and pressure building between my thighs. I adjusted my position on the couch, tucking my legs up, underneath me, and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, and opened the message, my eyes devouring each line like a starving person seeing an all you can eat buffet
.

Hey gorgeous,

I’m officially in the middle of BFE and I can’t get you out of my head. I’m sorry this is so late getting to you. Believe me when I say I haven’t stopped thinking about you once since leaving. This email took me forever to write, mostly because when I think about you, I get a little lost, remembering the way you look, your smell, those enchanting eyes, and the way you taste. I don’t know how much time I’ll have before I get called away, but I had to say something. Although, now that I’m writing this, I’m not sure what to say. I knew I’d miss you, it was the first thought that came into my mind when Master Chief Jenkins gave me the news of the deployment. How on fucking earth am I gonna live without her? I don’t want that to freak you out, but you need to know. I care about you Kat, deeper and wider than you know, and I can’t wait to get back to you and show you.

In all my free time over the past few weeks, I’ve begun to realize how much I still don’t know about you, and how much I want to know. Whenever I’m around you, I can’t think straight, and never manage to get out everything that’s on my mind. So, I figured, for now, we could use this time apart to fix that. To figure each other out. What do ya say? Twenty questions? You game? I’ll start with three:

1. Favorite color, and, I fully expect something fancy and weird that I’ve never even heard of, all right, miss designer?

2. Speaking of, what made you pick design as a new career? Other than the obvious draw of being able to have a valid excuse to go to my apartment and frisk me under the ploy of checking out my couch. ;)

3. Tell me about the last time that you laughed your ass off. You’re too serious sometimes, you know. I know you got the weight of the world on your shoulders, but I hope that somewhere, in the midst of the shit storm, you find a moment to let loose.

Know that I’m doing everything to get back as soon as possible. I hope that Jax is there with you as I write this and that the drama is over. Hang in there with me. I can’t wait to see you again pretty girl.

Yours,

Jace

I read the email over and over again, imagining the way it would sound coming from his lips, the smile in his eyes as he stared at whatever screen he’d been looking at when he wrote it, the laugh, and maybe hint of sadness as he sent his rambling, bumbling, but altogether perfect email to me.

And then, I hit reply.

Jace,

BFE huh? Sounds like a blast. Seriously though, I hope you’re safe. I can’t tell you how happy you just made me, seeing your name pop up was a very unexpected, but happy, surprise. Things here are as good as can be expected. Jax is with Mitch and Hannah. Things didn’t go as planned during the mediation and he’s with them almost full time now. Court is in five weeks. Kirk, the lawyer, is confident I will get him back. Most of the time, I try not to think about it…

Anyways, twenty questions sounds fun. I’m definitely game.

Here are your answers:

1. Indigo. I don’t know how fancy that can really be considered though, since it’s technically available in a Crayola box. It’s a deep, soulful color, and something about it resonates.