SEAL'd Perfection The Complete Collection: A Navy SEAL Romance (37 page)

Kat was everything I wanted and as I held her in my arms, I resolved to do everything in my power to keep her—even if it cost me every last drop of pride. She had taken a bulldozer to my walls and I was too damn tired to build them back up again. Holding her felt too good, too right, and I didn’t think I could push her away again.

I backed up just far enough so that I could see her eyes again, suddenly starving for the sight. She smiled at me through the remnants of her tears, and I wiped them away with my good hand, a swipe of my thumb along each sculpted cheekbone. “Thank you.”

Kat arched a brow. “For what?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

I smiled sadly, thinking of the wasted time we’d spent apart. “For coming over here, throwing dishes, and calling me out on my bullshit.” She laughed, and the sound warmed me from the inside out, igniting a joy I’d forgotten about somewhere along the way. I smiled at her, but when her laughter faded, I dropped the humor from my voice, choked up with emotion again, and told her, “I don’t know what I did to get you, but I swear, I’m gonna spend every day for the rest of my life looking for ways to make you as happy as you make me.”

She stared at me, her pupils wide and dark. “Come on, let’s go back to my place.” Kat stood and reached for my hand.

Her suggestion filled me with longing, my body waking up and aching in a way it hadn’t for months. In the middle of all the pain and recovery, getting laid had been the last thing on my mind, but with Kat standing before me, the feel of her skin under my fingertips, it came back and left me feeling like the nervous, first timer I’d been over a decade ago. I wanted her so badly, but it was like I wasn’t sure what to do, and, although I hated to admit it, I wondered if I would even be able to perform. “What about Jax?” I asked, taking her hand in my good one.

“He’s with his dad,” she replied softly. “He gets every other weekend.”

I nodded, remembering that she’d told me that once before, the day she’d called so excited after the court hearing. We left my bedroom and picked our way through the wreckage that I’d made of my living room. As I looked around, my body tensed. I’d been a fucking animal, so blind with rage and pain and grief that I hadn’t even been conscious as I’d torn everything to shreds. Seeing everything in tatters filled me with shame and I stopped in the middle of the room. I dropped Kat’s hand and looked away from her. She stopped walking as I did, and turned back to face me. “Jace? Are you okay?”

I waved a hand over the mess, my gesture limp and helpless.

“You wanna talk about it?” She asked.

I shook my head, still taking it all in. “I just…lost it. It was like those other times…the ones I told you about. Kat, I can’t be like this and be around you, and especially not Jax!”

The thought alone sent icy shivers down my spine. I shook my head more violently, and took a step back, a move of retreat. “Kat, if he ever saw me like that…”

Kat closed the gap between us and grabbed both of my hands, instantly rooting me in place with a surprisingly firm grip. “Stop! Jace, I don’t care if I have to tell you every day, if that’s what it takes for you to see that you’re not a monster or a rabid animal.
This—
” she waved her hand around the room in a sweeping motion, “—is not
you
. I trust you and I know you won’t hurt me or my son. Please don’t let fear take you away from me again. Jace, please.”

My eyes snapped to hers, brought back to reality by the frantic edge in her tone. Her eyes were even wider, this time with fear. “I couldn’t live with myself. If anything happened to either of you.”

“It won’t, Jace. Please, believe me.”

I nodded, leaning into her confidence in me since I had none left inside myself. Other than stupid bar fights, I’d never taken my anger out on another person, but the nights I saw red and went crazy were always a blur, out of control, and wild. There wasn’t a guarantee I wouldn’t one day cross a line.

And if that happened, I’d lose her and Jax for good.

“Jace!” Kat snapped me back to attention.

I took a deep breath. “Let me make a couple calls. I need to get someone over here to clean all this up. The movers are coming first thing in the morning and they can’t do anything with this place like this…”

“Movers. Right.” Kat shifted her gaze to her shoes. “I forgot about that.”

I reached for her face, tilting her chin to bring her eyes back to mine. “If this is what you really want—if I am what you really want—we’ll find a way to make it work. Okay?”

Her eyes darted back and forth, scanning mine, as if the answer to all our problems could be found. Eventually, she nodded. “Okay.”

Half an hour later, I had a crew of disaster clean up professionals on the way over. Technically they were used to clean up after a fire or flood, but assured me they could take care of everything, and although it cost a hefty fee to have them come out after hours, they would be able to get things back in order for the moving trucks in the morning. Although, after the turn of events the night had brought, I had no idea where I would have the moving crew drop off my belongings.

I hung up the phone and went to the kitchen, finding Kat stooped over a pile of broken glass, sweeping it into a dustbin and dumping it into the box of shards. “Kat, baby, don’t. I have people coming. I don’t want you to cut yourself.”

She straightened and shot me a sheepish smile. “I’m a mom, it’s in my DNA to clean up messes now.” I laughed and she shrugged. “Habits.”

I filled her in on the details of the cleaning crew, and she offered to wait with me until they got there. I noted that she was still in her work clothes and although she looked gorgeous just like she was, I knew she’d likely been on her feet since an early hour, and that standing around my messy kitchen probably wasn’t the best way she could spend the next few hours.

I ran my fingers down the side of her face. “Baby, go home, take a hot shower, get comfortable, and I’ll be over as soon as they get here.” A flicker of doubt crossed her face. “I promise I won’t run off,” I assured her, offering a smile.

“All right,” she agreed. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

I drew her face close to mine and took her lips in mine, the first time since the early morning I left her to report to my base right before shipping out. Her lips trembled as I took them, and I was surprised that she appeared to be just as nervous as I felt on the inside. I raised my other hand to her, and framed her face as the kiss deepened. Her trembling stopped and a soft purr vibrated in the back of her throat. Her hands slipped up my back and each move her fingers made against my shirt sent scorching fires trailing up and down. Our lips moved in sync, at a frantic, desperate pace, as we devoured each other, no movement, sensation, or pulse of pleasure and desire unnoticed.

“God, Kat,” I groaned when we parted, our heads still resting together as we caught our breath.

“I know,” she whispered back.

There was no need for explaining the way I felt about her. She knew it, and by some miracle, after everything I’d put her through, felt the same.

* * * *

The hour we spent apart while I got things sorted at the house, stretched on forever, and by the time I broke away and raced across the small town to her house, all nerves faded away, replaced with red hot lust. I had to have her, and I didn’t care if I un-did all my physical therapy in one night, I was going to fuck her until we both couldn’t move anymore.

Kat appeared to be on the same page, because I’d barely stepped inside—the front door was hanging wide open—as she ripped my shirt off of me, throwing it aside and reaching for my belt buckle, before I got a chance to say hello.

She kicked the door shut before grabbing my halfway undone belt, and dragged me down the hallway to her room. I laughed as I followed along, knowing that I looked just as crazy as she did as we eye fucked each other the whole way.

We got into her bedroom, and I smiled to find that she’d lit some candles and had some music playing low in the background. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this moment,” I told her, letting my eyes wander over every inch of her. I hadn’t really had time to notice what she was wearing thanks to her blitz attack in the doorway. She was wearing a short black robe that was loosely tied in the front, open enough at the top to show off enough of her tits to get me rock hard. Her long, model legs went on for days, and all I wanted was to get them wrapped around my back as quickly as possible.

“Actually, I think I do…” she replied, untying the matching sash, opening the robe slowly, all of her previous haste evaporated, as she made each move. The robe slipped away, pooling at her feet, and I sucked in a sharp breath.

She was even more fucking gorgeous than in my craziest dreams.

A black corset enveloped her, pushing her tits up into pillows that I couldn’t wait to bury my face in. The tight garment wrapped her waist, syncing it in to highlight her hourglass shape, the gentle curves of her hips flared out, accentuated by the panties that matched the corset. My cock throbbed as I looked her over, thinking of all the ways I wanted to have her. When my eyes made their way back up to hers, she was smiling, watching me take her in. “You like?”

“Like is not nearly a strong enough word…” I replied, throwing her a wicked smile. I drew her to me, and my fingers began what was sure to be a very extensive search of her body, running down her neck, shoulders, and arms. “You remember that email I sent you?”

Kat smiled and a tinge of pink hit her cheeks. “I think I know the one you mean…”

“I want to fuck you Kat, tonight, tomorrow, and every night I get after that.”

She laughed. “I think we can probably arrange that.”

I kissed her, swallowing up her giggle, and kicking up the heat ten degrees. Her hands went back to work at my belt buckle and I smiled, knowing she was every bit as eager as I was to get the night started. With a sinful smile, she pushed my jeans and boxer briefs down my hips, grazing the deep v-lines on either side, before shoving the clothes off the rest of the way. I stepped free of them, kicking the pile to the side, and looked up to see Kat eying me with a new hunger in her eyes. My cock was at full attention, pulsing with electric current, screaming for her velvet touch. Kat read my mind and took me in her hands, stroking from root to tip, wrapping her hand around the thick base, and smiling all the more. “God, Jace, I need you. All of you. Right now.”

I was all too happy to oblige. I wrapped my arms around her and cupped her ass cheeks in my hands, squeezing the firm but supple skin there, completely bare and exposed except for the high cut lace of her panties. She tilted her head back and I moved my lips to the exposed places on her neck, kissing and tonguing her hot skin.

We moved to the bed, and my heart screeched to a halt, pulling my mind back to the reality of the constraints of my body, as we lowered down. Kat lay down easily, and writhed below, waiting for me to join her. Her smile faltered at my hesitation. “What’s wrong?” She propped up on her elbows into a halfway sitting position and stared up at me.

“I just need a second,” I grit out, mad as hell that I couldn’t move the way I wanted to. If I had it my way, I’d already be buried in her pussy by now, thrusting into her so hard it would feel like we were both about to shatter. As I bent over, my back seized, and I mentally counted back to my last dose of pain pills. It hadn’t been so long that I could take more, but I knew the effects were wearing off.

Kat watched as I lowered myself to her bed, carefully, gingerly. Her expression shifted from confusion, to something far worse…pity.

“Right, Jace, God, I’m so sorry. I forgot…” she moved to try and help me and I struggled to keep my mouth shut and not snap at her. I had to remind myself that if we were going to be together, and have a real relationship, she was going to see every bit of me, which included my flaws and limitations. Not something that thrilled me, but it was reality.

I held up a hand to stop her. “I’m good, I got it.”

“Do you think we can still…?” Kat started, but let her question fade away.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully moved my way up, towards the headboard. “Of course, although, if you had your heart set on missionary…you might be out of luck till I can take some more pills.”

Kat smiled. “I guess we’ll just have to get creative,” she said suggestively, with a delicious smile at her lips, all traces of pity gone.

A wave of relief flooded over me, quickly followed by a renewed pulse of desire. I put my hand on her bare thighs and traced my way up, towards the sweet center that I knew would be dripping wet and ready for me, by the time I got done with her. “Take off those panties, baby. I need to see that sweet, pink pussy.”

Kat smiled, and followed my instructions. She got out of the bed and shimmied out of the panties, and I just about came right there in the bed just watching her. I scooted my way down to lay flat on my back. “Come here baby, I need to feel you. Are you nice and wet?”

“Mmhmm,” she purred. She came over and straddled my hips, spreading herself open for me, a shiver running through me as she reached behind and stroked my cock. I raised my hand to her and stroked the soft, wet folds. She moaned and ground against my hand. It was obvious she hadn’t been touched like this in a long time. I worked her clit in slow, sensual circles, building the tension there until she was moaning loudly and panting for more. Only then, did I grab her hips and guided her up to sit with her pussy hovering above my lips. “Yes, Jace! Please!” She cried out as my tongue darted out to lick the wetness away. She clung to the headboard as I began to lick and suck at her clit as she sat on my face.

I thrust a finger inside her and found the sweet spot that made her scream out my name, and whispered, “Yes, that’s good. Come for me, baby. I want your sweet juices all over my face.” I sucked hard at her clit, teasing the small bud between my lips, still stroking her from the inside, and Kat began to vibrate and shake above me.

“Shit! Jace!” She gasped and shuddered as she came, drenching my lips and fingers. She continued to shake and moan as the waves pulsed over her, and I smiled, knowing that even though I wanted more, I could stop then and be completely satisfied knowing that I’d been able to bring her to such heights.