Sealed with a Diss (20 page)

“Do you think we can still find a way to be eighth-grade boy experts without it?” asked Kristen, while tapping the chalkboard.

“Opposite of yes,” muttered Alicia, who was walking along the windows, her hand cupped over her ear as though she were listening to a secret.

“Do you think Skye will blame the broken camera on
us
?” Kristen asked.

“Opposite of I hope so.”

“Quiet, I hear something,” Dylan whisper-shouted from the far corner of the room.

Layne hurried over and placed her stethoscope on the wall next to Dylan’s hand.

“No, not
there
.” Dylan pressed the chest piece against her stomach. “Here. Listen to that rumbling. I’m starving.”

Layne pulled a Slim Jim out of her pocket and whipped it at Dylan.

“Just because
your
life isn’t falling apart doesn’t mean—”

“Relax, Kuh-laire.” Dylan took a bite of the shriveled pepperoni stick. “Maybe if you loosened up and got in touch with your masculine side, this wouldn’t be happening.”

“This has nothing to do with—”

“Enough!” Layne snapped. “I’ve got something.” She palmed the wall like a mime, higher and higher until she was balancing on her tippiest of tiptoes. “Someone bring me that chair!”

The Pretty Committee stared at her, refusing to take orders from an LBR, no matter how tech-savvy she might be.

“Hurry!” She upped her light to a brighter setting.

Claire dragged the chair to Layne and then handed her the blue Share Bear.

“Get this stupid thing outta my way.” Layne whipped it across the room. Kristen intercepted it, head-butted it twice, then caught it World Cup–style. “If I can just get up to the ceiling, I think I can get to the main circuit breaker.”

“The ceiling?” shrieked Kristen. “Since when are circuit breakers in the ceiling?”

“Um, why do you think they’re called ‘breakers’?” Layne asked.

The girls shrugged.

“Because people kept breaking them,” she explained with a condescending eye roll. “That’s why they moved them to the ceiling. To keep them safe.” Layne stepped onto the arms of the chair for maximum height. Once steady, she pulled a mini pink drill from her tool belt, switched it on, and lifted the spinning spike above her head. “Can I get some spotters, please?”

Everyone gathered around the chair except Kristen, who was examining the Share Bear.

Layne began to drill.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Massie grit her teeth against the sound, hoping to gawd it would not betray them.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Zzzzzzz-ping!

“What was that?” Massie gasped.

“I hit something metal.” Layne wiped her forehead. “Probably an I-beam.”

She drilled again.

Zzzzzzzzz.

Zzzzzzzzz.

Zzzzzzz-hisssss.

A light mist sprayed down on her hat, beaded off the plastic, and dripped onto the chair.

“Water pipe.” She lowered her drill and rubbed her chin in confusion. “Let’s move five paces left.” She jumped to the ground.

“Maybe these are dead.” Kristen held the Share Bear in one hand and two AA Duracell batteries in the other.

“Ehmagawd.” Dylan covered her mouth for the first time all week.

The bottoms of Massie’s feet tingled. Without a second thought, she grabbed Layne’s helmet off her head and slid open the battery compartment. Two AA batteries rolled into her sweaty palms. She handed them to Kristen, who snapped them into place and slid the plastic cover back on the Share Bear’s butt.

Claire chewed her thumbnail and toe-bounced with anticipation.

Kristen closed her eyes and flicked the switch. A green light popped on.

“Yes!”
Massie and Claire hugged. Then they pulled in Kristen. Then Dylan.

Just then, the mist from the ceiling turned to drops.

“Told you I could help,” Layne mumbled from outside the circle. “Don’t worry about replacing the batteries. They’re on me.”

Then the drops turned to drizzle.

“What’s
that
?” Dylan asked.

“Just some runoff from the pipes.” Layne stuffed her drill back in her tool belt. “Unfortunately, it’s typical in these pre-war buildings.” Claire wanted to question Layne’s runoff theory. But for the first time in a week something had gone her way, and she wasn’t about to let a little thing like a leaky roof put a damper on things. As far as she could see, this problem was like wearing last year’s jeans to a birthday party.

In a few days, all would be forgotten.

----Original Message-----

Sent: Saturday, May 1, 7:02 a.m.

From: Massie Block

To: The Pretty Committee

Subject: Party prep schedule

Wake up already!!!!! Come awn! How can you sleep when the hottest party of the year (not including the Oscars but yes, including the Golden Globes) is only 12 hours away?

Here is the prep schedule. Obey it or go bald.

	Kristen shoots video. (We must document this day)
9:30 a.m.	Meet at Block estate.
	Clothes: Mall sweats/tank (No black. I’m wearing black).
	Footwear: Knit Uggs, Havaianas flip-flops, Keds for you-know-who.
	Remember: Bring your own socks if you plan on buying shoes. Avoid borrowing the “sock of shame” at all costs. Those weird skin-colored tights carry foot lice. I read it in Cosmo .
9:45 a.m.	Stop at Sixbucks for ff lattes and scones.
10:00 a.m.	Isaac drops us at the mall.
	Claire shoots video.
10:03 a.m.	Shop for costumes.
	Alicia shoots video.
11:30 a.m.	Lunch @ Zodiac (mmmm, lump crab salad ).
	Dylan shoots video.
12:35 p.m.	More shopping.
1:50 p.m.	Ff lattes and biscotti for the car.
	Kristen shoots video.
2:00 p.m.	Isaac picks us up.
2:30 p.m.	Mani/pedis @ Avalon day spa.
	(No video. Too hard to shoot with wet nails.)
	Alicia, bring latest copies of Us Weekly , OK! , Star , and Hello! And all of the Hard Candy polish you swiped from the b _ _ b s _ _ _ _ _ r. (Busted! )
	Alicia shoots video. (Get shots of finished nails and toes and of us entering the spa. No nudes, ew! Duh!)
4:00 p.m.	Spa/shower/shave at the Block estate.
4:40 p.m.	Give Isaac our sushi orders. (Keep it light to avoid bloating and massive Dylan-farts. )
	Dylan shoots video.
4:45 p.m.	Jakkob @ the Block estate spa to do hair.
	Salma @ the Block estate to do makeup.
	(Robes and slippers compliments of the Blocks’ spa. FYI, I burned a great prep mix, 75 minutes of nonstop party beats—awwww, yeah!)
5:00 p.m.	Text dates to confirm.
	Kristen shoots video.
5:45 p.m.	Light sushi dinner in the spa.
	Open wide, watch the makeup.
	Claire shoots video.
6:15 p.m.	Get dressed. (Jitters much???)
6:55 p.m.	My mom and dad want to take pictures (awwwww cute!).
7:00 p.m.	Isaac takes us to Skye’s.
7:15 p.m.	Break HARTs’ hearts!

W
ESTCHESTER
, N
Y
T
HE
H
AMILTON
H
OME

Saturday, May 1st