SEALs of Honor: Hawk (16 page)

“Yes.” He nodded to her plate. “Are you going to finish that?”

She laughed. “I am, but there is more in the containers.”

He eyed the containers with interest, then shook his head. “Later. I’ll have some later.”

Later? What did that mean? After he got dressed? After a nap? Later tonight as in the middle of the night? She’d lost track of time, and had no idea what day it was.

“Did you let my father know that I was safe?”

“Yes, and Eva. No one else knows.”

“No one else matters,” she said. “Thank you.”

“In truth, your father was contacting me every couple of hours.” Hawk grinned suddenly, boyishly. “I was grateful to be able to tell him something.”

“We’ve only got each other now,” she said quietly. “It would have destroyed him if I’d died.”

“Not just him. You’d come to represent innocence to the world. The media is going to be all over you when you finally surface.”

“Gross. I’m not anything to anybody. I’m just me.” She hesitated then had to ask, “Did you find the men?”

He frowned, his gaze dropping.

“Shit. They are still out there, aren’t they?”

“Someone is. But the men on the boat that held you captive, they were dead when we closed in on it. Someone was already cleaning up the details and had booked it.”

What? She was shocked into silence. Then ventured, “And the bomb?”

“Gone, but there was enough threads and evidence left behind to figure out who is behind this,” he said quietly. “But we haven’t found him yet. We had an address but only found more bodies.”

She stared. “The boss is really killing everyone off?”

He nodded. “We think so. Less men to tell tales this way.”

“Do you still think he’s planning to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge?”

“He’s a terrorist so there’s no way to know for sure, but the maps we found on the boat indicate they were actually after the Oakland Bay Bridge not the Golden Gate as we’d first thought.”

“Oh good Lord.” She slowly finished off her plate. “So all the work you’ve done on this so far was for naught.”

“Not really. I think he was using the men and the fishing boat as a trial run to figure out the kinds of problems he’d run into on his real expedition.”

“Nasty.”

“But typical.”

“So now both bridges need to be guarded.”

He grinned. “Absolutely.”

She shook her head and placed her empty plate down on the coffee table then retook her seat. She hated the sudden awkwardness between them.

“Come here.”

Her head flew up and she stared at him. He had his arms open. She narrowed her gaze and asked suspiciously, “Why?”

“Because you want to.”

Damn his tone was smug. Then again he was right. She did want to.

She straightened and stood up, walked the two steps toward him and stopped. He motioned for her to sit down on his lap. She laughed. “Really. You want to cuddle. I figured you’d be ready for bed by now,” she scolded.

“And maybe I am,” he said, reaching up and tugging her onto his lap. “But it’s good to hold you. Just cuddle and remember the reason why life is so precious.”

Curled up in his arms, her hands laid against the warmth of his bare chest, she said, “You’re right. I’ve done a lot of thinking about just that these last few days.”

“Almost dying will do that to a person.”

“Have you had that happen?”

He wrapped his arms around her and snugged her up tight. “Yes, I have. And had warm sunny days where I wondered what I was here for. Or why I was on this place called planet earth in the first place. And have often wondered, if there was more for me out there.” He gave a half laugh. “Heavy philosophical thoughts for a military man, right?”

“Not at all. In your job you see a lot of the unpleasantness of life. And a lot more death than most people.” She reached up to stroke the side of his face gently. “It’s only natural that you’d think deeper than most.”

“I suppose.” He smiled down at her. “What made you so sweet?”

“I’m not sweet. Retiring. Shy. Insecure. Withdrawn even. Hard to step forward. Can’t see myself in any kind of major role in life.” Her nose got rapped for that. She laughed. “And I’ve often thought the exact same things as you. Wondering what my purpose in life is. If I had one.”

“Of course you do.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “We all do. It just might take a little longer to find it for some of us.”

“Do you feel you have found it? Your place in the world?”

“Yes, but I also wondered what else there is, like I said. There’s a part of me that feels something is missing.”

“Missing?” She turned to look up at him, propping her arm on his chest. “Or…empty?”

“That was very intuitive of you.” He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “But you’re right. I’ve been alone, played lots, had many women, but lately…”

“It’s not been the same.”

“No. It hasn’t been. And now I know why?” He tugged her up high against his chest and dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead. And another one on her nose. Then each cheek. She closed her eyes and relaxed against him as he kissed her closed eyelids, first one then the other.

Such peace as she’d never known descended on her. She snuggled her head into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. How could such a strong man, so powerful in so many ways, strong yet controlled with that strength, be so tender?

She didn’t know, but she loved it that he could.

And she was afraid that it would be hard to avoid falling in love with him.

If she hadn’t done so already.

*

N
OW THAT WAS
much better.

She slept the sleep of an angel. Deep relaxed calm breaths, her body limp as it rested…and healed. She was a long way away from normal health, yet she was on the right path.

He knew he needed to stand up and move her over to the bed so she’d sleep properly, but it was so damn nice to just hold her.

His body wanted so much more. After a shitty day following several other shitty days, he wanted something to rejoice. She was safe and sound and that was huge, but having her be his, acknowledged verbally so there was no doubt in his mind she was his in all ways – now that was an ending he could wish for.

Sad to think he’d come to this.

Or maybe not. Like Mason, this was long overdue.

His angel shifted in his arms, trying to get comfortable. That had to be impossible. His protective instincts roused, he adjusted her in his arms, stood up and carried her to her bed. Thankfully the covers were still in disarray, so he could lay her on the sheets, managing to get the housecoat off, and cover her up. But there was no way he was going to leave her to sleep alone.

Not as tried as he was. He walked around and crawled under the covers on the far side. He’d lost his towel somewhere in the journey, and that was fine by him. He always slept in the nude.

She instinctively curled toward him. He tugged her closer. She snuggled right against him.

He smiled, and content for the first time in a long time, he slept.

Chapter 22

S
HE WOKE TO
a furnace. That was the only way she could describe this massive register of heat emanating off of Hawk. She lay still half asleep, her arm tucked up against his chest, his leg thrown across her legs pinning her in place.

The two of them entwined in the bed.

Nice.

His breathing was slow and deep. He’d been put through the ringer these last few days. She was sorry for her part in it but damn glad he’d rescued her. A girl could do a lot worse than snuggling up close to a hero.

She had to smile. She doubted he’d consider himself hero material. But he was all the way, right down to the heavy shadow on his face. Dark locks fell across his forehead that tempted her to reach up and straighten, but she didn’t want to disturb him. Still Mother Nature called. She crept out of the bed and used the washroom.

When she snuck back in to the bed, he reached out and dragged her closer.

“Where were you?” he murmured in a sleepy voice.

“I had to go to the bathroom.”

He opened his eyes. Took a moment to assess his surroundings, the timing, the moment, she could almost hear the answers clicking into place in his brain, before he came to a quick awareness.

Then he rolled above her, the weight on his elbows, settling himself exactly in the right place. And stared down at her.

She sucked in her breath as his erection prodded her sensitive skin. Oh Lord. She could feel her body wanting to weep in joy. She slid her hands up his chest, her gaze locked on his.

And waited. He searched her face as if looking for something. She wanted him to find whatever he needed but had no clue.

“Hawk?”

“Hmmm?” He lowered his head and dropped light tender kisses on her puffy face and she realized what he’d been looking for, healing. Signs that she was okay. That she was improving. That she was ready for this.

“I won’t break, you know.”

His mouth kicked up at the corner. “So you’ve proven several times already.”

She laughed. “Well, I might have had a bone or two broken but…I’m feeling much better now.”

“Shouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

“Maybe and maybe not. If it brought us here to this place…right now…I’m good with it.”

She could feel his startled response and see the surprise lighting his dark gaze. Had she gone too far?

“I’d have done anything to have saved you from all of this,” he whispered, his warm breath bathing her face as he kissed her cheekbone, his touch feather soft. Her other cheek received a kiss too.

A wave of emotion washed through her, and she reached up and wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

“Love me,” she wished. “At least for the moment. For a little while.”

Scared to hear his response, she shifted so she could kiss him. She ignored her sore mouth and puffy lips. And kiss him she did. Trying to inveigle all the pain and longing she’d kept pent up inside her for so long. To let him know how he’d touched her. How he’d made her so much more than she was. That he’d been there for her when she’d been lost and that he didn’t even know he’d saved her several times over.

When she went to pull back she realized he wasn’t letting her go, he was kissing her back as long and emotionally deep as she’d kissed him.

Starting after a long lean lifetime, she sank into his embrace and let go.

For the first time ever, she let go in all ways.

She let him do what he wanted, how he wanted and then she did what she wanted. How she wanted. By the time he was ready to enter her body, she was shaking with emotion, trembling from the keen edge of pain and joy already racing through her body as he kept her on the cliff.

He entered slowly as if making sure to not hurt her. And he wouldn’t. Ever. She wanted him. But not to hold back. She wanted all of him, now.

“Hawk,” she cried out. “Now.”

His dark laugh made her twist upwards, her body arching to receive all he had to give. She reached up and tried to tug him down to her. But he resisted. Instead he changed position and pulled her forward across his thighs then grabbed her hips to pull her tight up against his hips as he drove himself deeper.

She cried out as he touched her core.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked, his voice dark, guttural.

A laugh broke free. Clenching her tummy, she sat up tall and slid her arms around his neck, now under-standing why he’d been hesitating before. Her cracked ribs, collarbone. She smiled against his lips, “How do you feel about riding?”

He leaned back on his hands as she started to move.

“I love riding,” he said in a fervent whisper. “Even better I love that you love riding.”

Her laughter rang free as she held on to his shoulders and took them both to the edge – she paused – he groaned – and she moved faster.

He clutched her hips and pounded upwards.

And knocked her off the cliff. She cried out, arching backwards.

He never lost his rhythm, his breath coming hard and fast, and giving one hard jerk, his seed poured inside her womb.

Tremors rippled over her skin as he gently lowered her to the bed, a fine mist giving both their bodies a warm glow.

She wanted to comment on it but didn’t have the energy. Now she was damn tired. How did that work? She should be energized. And she was, but she was also just wanting to close her eyes and rest.

“Sleep. I’ll find us coffee.”

“Perfect,” she whispered.

“No.” He leaned over her as he snugged the sheet up to her chest. “You’re perfect.”

She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

*

“
S
O DAMN PERFECT,”
he muttered in a low voice as he stood a moment longer than he should. He forced himself to turn away and dress. Urgency was riding him. He was late. He knew it. He was never late. If he was today, the guys would know why. Shit. Then he stopped. Of course they’d know. And this time, he wanted them to know.

Yes, he was keeping her.

But they’d better not smirk at her. Or do anything that would make her uncomfortable. Then he sighed. They wouldn’t. Not these guys. Not with anyone’s lady friend. At least not a serious special one.

He was a lucky man.

And damn if he was going to be stupid about it.

He didn’t know about that whole love thing, especially considering he’d never been in love before. But if wanting to whisk her away to a deserted island to keep her safe where she could have his babies and be his only for the rest of his life didn’t qualify – he couldn’t imagine what would.

His phone rang.

He checked the number. Cooper.

“I’m ready.”

And with a last glance toward the bedroom, he walked out.

There was no way to know if he’d ever be able to walk back in.

In the car, he said to Cooper, “If you’ve got time…” he broke off.

“I’ve got it.”

Hawk nodded. “Thanks.”

“No thanks required. We all love her. You’re a lucky man, Hawk.”

He grinned. “Yeah I am and I know it.”