Sean's Reckoning (5 page)

“One thing has nothing to do with the other,” Ruby insisted, her jaw set stubbornly.

Deanna wasn’t buying it, but she couldn’t very well drag the truth out of Ruby if she wasn’t willing to
share it. “Okay,” she said at last. “I’ll drop it for now, on one condition.”

“Anything that will get you to back off,” Ruby agreed.

“Have dinner at Joey’s tonight.”

“Dee!” Ruby protested.

Deanna held firm. “That’s it. That’s my condition. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to convince me that Hank’s not at the bottom of your weird mood.”

Something that might have been a tiny flicker of relief passed across Ruby’s face, then gave way to an air of resignation. “Okay, okay. Geez, you are such a nag.”

Deanna grinned at her. “I should be. I learned from the best.”

Ruby shook her head. “Obviously I should have kept that lesson to myself.”

Sean and five other firefighters in uniform piled into Joey’s Italian Diner around six o’clock. Deanna was just coming out of the kitchen with an order when they arrived. She heard her son’s whoop of delight, but missed the fact that he was racing straight across the restaurant toward Sean. He bumped into her at full throttle, knocking her off-balance and sending the tray of spaghetti dinners tilting toward disaster.

“Whoa!” Sean said, rescuing the tray in midair and managing to keep Deanna upright at the same time. He stared down into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Deanna gazed up into blue eyes bright with amusement and felt her knees go weak again. “Having you come to my rescue is getting to be a habit,” she told Sean, then turned to her son and scolded, “Kevin, you
know you’re supposed to watch where you’re going in here.”

“Sorry, Mom!” Kevin said. “I didn’t see you. I was excited to see Sean.”

Deanna could relate to the feeling. A part of her hadn’t expected him to actually show up, not because he was likely to change his mind but because of the unpredictability of his job. “There should be a table for six opening up in a minute,” she told him as she reached for the tray. “Let me serve these dinners, and as soon as it’s clear, I’ll get it ready for you.”

Sean held tight to the tray. “Where do you want this? It weighs a ton.”

“I’m used to it,” she protested.

His stubborn gaze clashed with hers. “Where?”

She shrugged and gestured toward a stand across the room. “Over there, by that table in the corner. Kevin, go on back to your table, before someone else gets tripped up.”

Kevin regarded her with disappointment. “But, Mom…”

“I’ll see you before I go,” Sean promised him. “If your mom says it’s okay, you can come have dessert with me and the guys.”

Kevin’s eyes lit up. “Really? And you’ll tell me all about fighting fires? I want to be a fireman when I grow up, so I need to start learning stuff.”

This wasn’t the first Deanna had heard about her son’s career plans, but she wondered how Sean was going to respond to Kevin’s blatant hero worship. Glancing at him, she realized she needn’t have worried. He grinned and assured Kevin he could ask all the questions he wanted. The last traces of Kevin’s scowl promptly faded. Deanna had to admit, Sean had
a definite way with her son. Still balancing the heavy tray on one hand, he ruffled Kevin’s hair with his other hand.

“Do what your mom said,” he urged Kevin. “I need to take this tray where she wants it, before she docks my pay.”

Kevin giggled. “You don’t work here.”

“Not usually,” Sean agreed. “But it’s always good for a man to help out a lady, even when she doesn’t think she needs any help.”

Deanna caught the subtle message about her independent streak. She didn’t say another word as Sean carried the tray across the room. She noted that several fascinated gazes followed his progress. Well aware of how the elderly regulars liked to take an interest in her social life, she knew she’d be hearing about the incident for days to come.

“I can take it from here,” she told him when he’d set the tray down.

Sean glanced at the tray, which held only specials. He winked at the elderly woman closest to him. “I imagine this is yours,” he said, then leaned down to whisper. “She doesn’t think I know what I’m doing, so help me out here okay?”

Mrs. Wiley beamed at him. “Crazy girl,” she said with a
tsk
for Deanna’s benefit. “I can’t imagine what she’s thinking, turning down the help of a big, strong firefighter. You put that plate right here, young man.”

Deanna stood back while he served all four women, who were giggling at his teasing as if they were thirty years younger. When all the dinners were on the table, he stood back and surveyed the results with evident pride.

“Not such a bad job, if I do say so myself,” he said. “I didn’t spill a drop.”

“Only one problem,” Deanna noted mildly, barely containing a grin. “These dinners were destined for that table over there.”

She gestured toward two couples who were watching the scene from the next table. Three of the four looked amused, but the fourth looked as if he were about to burst a blood vessel.

Mrs. Wiley patted Sean’s hand. “Oh, don’t mind them, young man. You did a fine job. We’ll send over a bottle of Joey’s house wine and they won’t complain.”

Sean looked chagrined. “I’ll buy the wine,” he said, turning to the other group. “Sorry. I was trying to be helpful.”

Amazingly, Mr. Horner, who usually complained about everything, simply shrugged, his anger defused. “Long as you don’t expect a big tip, I imagine we can wait.”

Sean winced and turned to Deanna. “Sorry.”

She was tempted to make him squirm, but he looked so miserable, she relented. “He’s a lousy tipper, anyway,” she whispered. “By the way, I see that Joey has cleared that table for you. It might be a good idea if you went over there now before I lose all my tips for the night.”

Sean retreated to the table where the other firefighters had been seated. Deanna had deliberately sent them to a table that was not part of her station, so she could escape Sean’s watchful gaze. Let Adele cope with them. There hadn’t been a customer born who could fluster her.

The tactic was only partially successful. Deanna still
felt Sean’s gaze following her as she worked her way between tables, joking with the customers, carrying orders from the frantic kitchen and helping to clear tables for the line of customers waiting to be seated.

It was so busy for a couple of hours that she was only dimly aware that the firefighters didn’t seem to be in any big rush to leave. Hank had slipped away from his table and joined Ruby, trading places with Kevin, who was basking in the undivided attention of Sean and the other firefighters, all of whom were being incredibly patient with his endless barrage of questions.

By eight, the crowd finally started to thin out. Those remaining were lingering over coffee and Joey’s chocolate cannoli. Satisfied that things in the dining room were under control for the moment, Deanna slipped onto a stool in the kitchen and kicked off her shoes with a sigh of pleasure.

“It’s about time you had a break,” Sean said, appearing beside her with a frown on his face. “Have you eaten?”

“I grabbed something earlier,” she told him.

“Earlier when?” he asked, his skepticism plain. “Lunchtime?”

“Actually I had some salad not more than twenty minutes ago.”

“Meaning she grabbed a carrot on her way through the kitchen,” the cook chimed in helpfully.

Deanna scowled at Victor, who was ogling Sean with frank appreciation. “Traitor,” she accused him.

Victor grinned. “Given a choice between you and your gorgeous friend, whose side did you think I’d be on?”

Deanna chuckled as Sean regarded Victor uneasily.
“Don’t panic,” she advised Sean. “He’s almost as harmless as Ruby. He’s also been in a long-term relationship with the same man for years now.”

“Good to know,” Sean said. “Now let’s get back to you. You need to eat. Victor, can you fix something for her?”

Deanna bristled at his commanding tone. “
If
I wanted something to eat, which I don’t, I could fix it myself. Victor doesn’t have to wait on me.”

Sean frowned at her. “Don’t be stubborn. You have to be starving.”

“Sean, I’ve been taking care of myself and my son for a long time now. Neither one of us is malnourished. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

Victor looked from Sean’s set jaw to Deanna’s equally set expression and immediately headed for the door. “Think I’ll go ask Joey to fix me a cappuccino. You two decide you want anything, help yourselves.”

“We won’t,” Deanna said tightly.

As soon as they were alone, she whirled on Sean. “What do you think you’re doing coming into a place I work and bossing me around?”

He looked bemused by her reaction. “All I did was suggest you should have something to eat.”

“
Suggest?
That’s not how I heard it. You practically ordered me to eat. I don’t get it. Why are my eating habits any of your business?”

He jammed his hands in his pockets and backed off a step. “Okay, you’re right. They’re not.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“Someone needs to look out for you.”

“Someone
does,
” she retorted. “Me. That’s how it’s been for a long time now.”

“Well, pardon me for caring,” he snapped defensively.

Deanna was taken aback by his choice of words and by the expression on his face. He looked as if he hated how he was acting almost as much as she did.

She bit back her irritation and managed to keep her voice level as she asked, “Sean, what’s really going on here?”

“I wish to hell I knew,” he muttered. “You obviously don’t want me interfering in your life. I really don’t want to be in your life, yet here I am.”

“I didn’t ask you to come here tonight,” she reminded him. “It was your idea.”

He scowled. “Don’t you think I know that?”

“Then I’m afraid I don’t get it.” She looked into his eyes and saw evidence of the internal struggle he was waging with himself. She softened her voice. “Sean?”

He kept his gaze locked with hers for what seemed to be an eternity. She could hear the tick of the clock on the kitchen wall, the sighing of the refrigerators switching on, the clink of ice in the automated ice maker.

“Oh, what the hell?” he murmured, reaching for her and slanting his mouth over hers.

He caught her by surprise. The kiss was the absolute last thing she expected when he was so clearly exasperated with her and annoyed with himself. He claimed her lips with a heady combination of heat and urgency that had her breath snagging in her throat and her senses spinning wildly.

Then, almost as quickly as it had started, it was over. Sean raked a hand impatiently through his hair and regarded her with regret.

“I’m sorry,” he said, turning on his heels and leaving before Deanna could gather her wits to reply.

She stared after him, wondering what the apology was for…their argument or the kiss.

Please don’t let it be for the kiss, she thought wildly, touching a shaky finger to her lips. It had been a very long time since any man had kissed her like that, and she’d been perfectly content to let it stay that way.

Until now. With one kiss Sean Devaney had unwittingly awakened a sleeping need in her. She might not want him telling her what to do or fretting over her eating habits, but, heaven help her, she definitely wanted him to kiss her again. Soon.

K
issing Deanna had to qualify as one of the ten dumbest things he’d ever done in his life, Sean concluded on the ride back to the station. He hadn’t meant to kiss her. He hadn’t wanted to kiss her.

The shouts of
liar
that echoed in his head at that claim were way too loud to be ignored. Okay then, he had
wanted
to kiss her from the very first instant when he’d had to steady her and that tray after her near run-in with her son. Two seconds of contact with all those soft, yielding curves and he’d wanted even more than a kiss. He’d wanted to drag her into his arms and discover every single secret of her delectable body. It had been a long time since he’d felt that kind of instantaneous rush of pure lust.

But he’d dealt with that impulsive, totally male response during dinner. He’d lectured himself on the sheer folly of any intimate contact with her. He’d
joined in the speculative jokes his buddies were making about Hank and Ruby. He’d focused intently on Kevin’s apparently endless barrage of questions. He’d teased their waitress, pleaded for Joey’s surprisingly incredible recipe for spaghetti sauce. He’d done everything he could think of to get his mind completely off Deanna.

He’d done all that, but he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off her. She was always at the periphery of his vision. The sound of her laughter was always teasing him, drawing his focus away from his friends. Hell, he could almost swear he could even pick out the scent of her perfume when she was two aisles away. How pathetic was that?

Given all that, it was little wonder he was destined to cave in to insanity when he followed her into the kitchen. One instant he’d been defending himself against her fury over his overbearing attitude, the next he’d been hauling her into his arms to silence her with a mind-numbing kiss. He was surprised she hadn’t slugged him.

Of course, that could be because she’d been too stunned, he thought, a grin tugging at his lips. He recalled her dazed expression when he’d brusquely apologized and walked away. A tiny, satisfied sensation stole through him. God, he was such a
man,
he thought with disgust, taking pleasure in having caught a woman off guard and having gotten her to respond to him. Responses earned that way didn’t mean anything. Not really, anyway.

“What’s your problem?” Hank asked, joining him in the sleeping quarters where Sean had retreated when they got back to the fire station.

“Nothing,” Sean lied, deliberately stretching out on
top of the sheets as if he’d just come in to catch a quick nap.

“Woman troubles,” Hank assessed knowingly. His own mood seemed to be much improved. “You and Deanna have a fight?”

Sean ignored the question. “You and Ruby make up?”

“Ruby and I never fought.”

“Could have fooled me,” Sean said.

Hank’s gaze narrowed. “And you’re deliberately changing the subject. Why is that, I wonder? You’ve been uptight as hell ever since you came out of the kitchen at the restaurant. Did Deanna tell you to get lost?”

That could be one interpretation of her angry diatribe about his meddling in her life, Sean decided. But if her words had held him at a distance, the way she’d returned his kiss had been the exact opposite.

Geez, what was happening to him? He was hanging around his bunk pondering the implications of a stupid kiss. He never did stuff like this. A woman kissed him or she didn’t. She slept with him or she didn’t. Her choice, always. He never got hung up over it one way or the other. That Deanna had him weighing the meaning of it all was a very bad sign. It was time to run for the hills.

But he didn’t want to run anywhere…except straight back to the restaurant so he could kiss her again and make sure that the wicked wonder of the first time had been real.

Deanna sat at Ruby’s kitchen table with her jar of tips and began sorting the money. She did it once a month, then deposited the cash into her savings ac
count, the one she’d started when she’d been convinced that if she planned ahead she could put enough money aside to buy a little house someday for herself and Kevin. The costs associated with getting back on her feet after the fire had wiped out every last penny she’d accumulated to that point.

Kevin wandered into the kitchen, his eyes widening at the sight of all the wrinkled dollar bills and change. “Wow,” he said, climbing into a chair opposite her and propping his elbows on the table for a closer look. “That’s a lot of money. Are we rich finally?”

She smiled at the question. “Hardly.”

He studied her thoughtfully. “Do we have enough to get our own place yet?”

Deanna’s head snapped up at the plaintive note behind the question. “What’s wrong? I thought you liked staying here with Ruby.”

“Sure,” he said at once. “Ruby’s the best.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I was thinking maybe if you and me had our own place, Sean would come to see us.”

It wasn’t the first time Sean’s name had come up around the house. Kevin had been quoting him nonstop since the fire. Going to the fire station and then seeing him at Joey’s had only reinforced his hero worship. In Kevin’s view, Sean Devaney pretty much hung the moon. Deanna knew allowing that to continue carried risks, but she didn’t want to steal the one bright spot in her son’s life. Still, she had to caution him against expecting too much.

“Honey, you can’t expect Sean to come around. He has his own life.”

“But he likes me. He said so.”

“He’s also a very busy man. He has an important
job, and I’m sure he has his own grown-up friends that he likes to spend time with when he’s off. I don’t think he’s staying away because we live with Ruby.”

“But I’m his friend, too,” Kevin said reasonably. “And if we had our own place, I could invite him to dinner. He’d come. I know he would, especially if you fixed spaghetti like Joey’s.”

“Then he did like it?” Deanna asked. She’d wondered about that. She’d intended to ask him, but they’d gotten sidetracked in the kitchen. She nearly groaned at the understatement. They’d gotten more than sidetracked. Every rational thought in her head had flown straight out the window when he’d kissed her. Even now, just thinking about the way his mouth had felt on hers, she had to drag her attention back to Kevin.

“Uh-huh,” he said. “Sean said it was the best spaghetti he’d had since he was a little kid. So if you promised to fix it, I know he’d come for dinner.”

Deanna sighed. “Kevin, you know that I’m not even home for dinner most nights. That wouldn’t be any different if we had our own place.”

His expression turned mulish. “You never want me to have my friends over.”

A headache was beginning to pound at his relentless complaining. “Sweetie, that’s not true,” she said, trying to keep her voice even.

“It is so true,” he insisted. “You always say I can have them over when you’re here, but you’re never here.”

Deanna considered the accusation and realized it was possible Kevin had gotten it exactly right. She always meant to let him invite his friends over, but there were simply too few free hours in her week, and she didn’t want Ruby to have to baby-sit Kevin’s
friends. It was enough that she was willing to look after Kevin.

“Why don’t you go call them right now and ask them to come over?” she suggested. “We can order a pizza.”

“I don’t want a pizza. I want Sean to come over,” Kevin said, clearly impatient that she’d missed his point.

“Not today,” she said flatly.

“Then can I go see him at the fire station again?”

“No.”

“Why not?” he asked, clearly warming to this new idea. “I could call first and ask if it’s okay. If you can’t go, Ruby would probably take me. She probably wants to see Hank, anyway.” His expression turned serious. “I still don’t get why they fight so much, but I think she really, really likes Hank, don’t you? And he’s kinda cool, not as cool as Sean, but okay.”

Deanna wished she could be as sure of Ruby’s feelings as Kevin seemed to be, but Ruby never mentioned the man’s name. That might be a dead giveaway that she cared…or it might mean the opposite, that she hadn’t given him a thought. It wasn’t as if he was hanging around, at least not while Deanna was around. And since Ruby didn’t have a phone at the apartment, the two of them couldn’t be spending hours on the phone talking, either.

When she didn’t respond to Kevin’s question, he slid his chair closer. “So, is it okay? Can I call Sean?”

Deanna knew she ought to nip this whole thing in the bud, but the hopeful expression in Kevin’s eyes kept her from saying no outright. After all, Sean was a grown man. If Kevin was making a nuisance of himself, Sean could find some way to tell him not to come
by the station. And Ruby knew how to protect herself if she wanted to steer clear of Hank. She certainly hadn’t seemed all that upset that he’d joined her after dinner the other night at Joey’s. Every time Deanna had glanced their way, the two of them had been laughing.

She reached over and brushed Kevin’s hair off his forehead. He needed a haircut, but he’d refused, telling her he wanted his hair to be as long as Sean’s. “Okay,” she relented. “If Ruby doesn’t mind taking you, ask her to go to the pay phone with you and you can call.” She tossed him enough change for the phone.

“All right!” Kevin said, bounding out of the kitchen. “I’m gonna call right now.”

“Ask Ruby first!” Deanna shouted after him. “And take her with you. Do not go to the corner by yourself.”

“Ask Ruby what?” Ruby inquired, appearing in the kitchen doorway.

“If you’re willing to take him to the fire station for a visit if Sean says it’s okay.” Deanna studied her reaction. Ruby’s expression remained completely neutral. “You’re not answering me.”

“Sure, I’ll take him,” Ruby said with a shrug. “It’s no big deal. Why can’t you take him, though?”

“Because that’s a bad idea,” Deanna said without thinking.

Ruby regarded her with sudden fascination. “Oh, really?”

“I meant that I have things to do.”

“That is not what you meant,” Ruby accused. “You meant that you don’t want to see Sean Devaney
again. Why is that? He seems like a perfectly nice guy to me.”

“He is a nice guy,” Deanna conceded reluctantly.

“Then what’s the problem?” Ruby studied her face. “Or do I even need to ask? Are you beginning to see that he’s more than just a nice guy? Are you maybe just the teensiest bit attracted to him?”

“If I admit that I am, will you leave me alone?”

Ruby’s grin spread. “For the moment,” she agreed. “I will, however, point out that that makes you a complete and total coward for refusing to take Kevin to the fire station.”

Deanna looked straight into Ruby’s eyes. “Maybe I’m just playing hard to get.”

“As if,” Ruby scoffed. “You don’t play at that. With you it’s the real thing.” She regarded Deanna with evident fascination. “Have you kissed him yet?”

Deanna was debating the technical accuracy of a negative response, when Ruby gasped as if she’d just read her mind. “My God, I’ve got that backward, haven’t I? He’s kissed you.”

“Once,” Deanna admitted reluctantly.

Ruby studied her with undisguised curiosity. “Well, tell all. How was it? Was it awful? Is that why you don’t want to see him?”

“No, it was not awful,” Deanna said. “How could it be? We’re talking about Sean Devaney here.”

Ruby held a hand to her chest. “Oh, my, that good, huh? When did it happen? Never mind. I think I know. It was when he followed you into the kitchen at Joey’s. That’s why you looked completely dazed when you finally wandered out of there, isn’t it?”

“I did not look dazed,” Deanna said with exasperation.

“I just call ’em like I see ’em,” Ruby retorted. “Well, well, well…this is definitely a fascinating turn of events. Is Sean the first man who’s gotten close enough to kiss you since Frankie?”

“Don’t be absurd. Frankie’s been gone for more than five years. Of course other men have kissed me.” Joey. Old Mr. Jenkins at the restaurant. Even one of the law partners at work had given her a friendly peck on the cheek once when they’d said goodbye after an office party.

“Why is my head screaming ‘Technicality’ when you say that?” Ruby demanded. “I’ll rephrase. Has any sexy man kissed you with mind-blowing passion since Frankie?”

Deanna sighed. “You’ve been hanging out with lawyers for too long.”

“Dee?”

“You’re relentless.”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am,” Ruby said with pride. “Well?”

“Okay, no.”

“You did kiss him back, didn’t you? You didn’t freeze up or, worse yet, slug him?”

“Oh, no,” Deanna said, feeling her cheeks flood with heat. “I definitely kissed him back.”

Ruby beamed. “This just gets better and better.”

“It was a kiss,” Deanna reminded her. “It lasted all of thirty seconds, tops. Then he apologized and bolted out of the kitchen.”

“Smart man,” Ruby said with approval.

“Smart?”

“Always leave ’em wanting more. I think that’s especially applicable in your case. If he’d swooped in
for another kiss, you probably would have slugged him.”

Deanna regarded her with dismay. “I do not make a habit of slugging men.”

“Only because none prior to this have been brave enough to ignore the Do Not Touch warnings posted all around you.”

Deanna took an exaggerated look around. “I don’t see any signs.”

“Trust me. Men do. Our Sean is a very brave man. He gets my vote.”

“Vote for what?”

“Guy you’re most likely to sleep with.”

Deanna ignored the fluttering that Ruby’s words set off in the pit of her stomach and held up her hand. “Hold it right there. It’s a pretty big leap from letting the man kiss me once to hopping into bed with him.”

“Sometimes yes, sometimes no,” Ruby replied knowingly. “I’m betting it’s not much more than a baby step for Sean.”

“Then isn’t it a good thing I don’t intend to see him again?” Deanna shot back.

“Coward,” Ruby accused softly.

Deanna met her friend’s direct gaze without flinching. “Darn straight.”

For nearly a month now, Deanna had been going out of her way to avoid him, Sean concluded when Kevin and Ruby showed up at the fire station without her yet again. It was getting on his nerves. So was watching this bizarre dance Hank and Ruby seemed to be doing. They barely spoke. Hank merely watched her as if she possessed the key to eternal youth.