Searching For Captain Wentworth (39 page)

‘Oh dear, it was
never my intention to talk out of turn, but I
never saw two people to suit one another so well.
It was a delight
to see them
together. My brother and I attended poor Mr Austen in
Sidmouth many times and during these visits I
became acquainted
with the young
ladies of the house. They duly called here when
t
hey came to Lyme and spent a considerable time with
us – I feel
sure that the
young man lodged here on Miss Jane’s
recommendation. It was a pleasure to see them together. They used
to sit just where you are now; a book between them,
their heads
bowed together,
his so fair and hers so dark. He was such a clever
fellow and Miss Jane shared all his passion for
novels and
discussion. I
was certain an engagement was about to be
announced. Dear me, how I should love to see her
again. Tell me,
how is she?’

‘Miss Austen is
well, at least, she was in good health when I
saw her last.’ I could hardly comment on her low
spirits. ‘I know
they are to
travel soon to the West Country but whether they shall
come to Lyme, I cannot tell you.’

‘Miss Austen and
her young man loved one another, that’s
certain. Well, that is something of a mystery, if
nothing came by it.
Anyway, it was
not my purpose to tittle-tattle. How are you settling
in Lyme, Miss Elliot? Mr Glanville is a very
agreeable young man,
is he
not? And I know he loves to entertain when he’s here. Nelson
House is one of the most beautiful buildings for
miles around.’

‘It is splendid,
I quite agree, and a comfortable home.’

‘It is a lovely
house, Miss Elliot, but what it really needs is a
female hand.’

I couldn’t think
of anything to say which would stop her
thinking that I had any designs on Mr Glanville.
Every sentence
that jumped into
my head seemed to indicate some partiality to
him. I saw her smile knowingly and knew it was time
to go.

‘I hope we shall
see you at the Assembly Rooms, Miss Elliot,’
she said, as she handed me the bottle. ‘I know Mr
Glanville loves
to dance, so I
would reckon it a sure thing. Anyway, you have
cheered me up. It’s been a treat to talk to you.’

‘Thank you, Miss
Rockingham, I’m sure we shall meet again
soon.’

She waved me off
from the door. I could imagine Jane fitting
in very well within the homely atmosphere I’d found
there and
pondered once
more on the fickleness of time and place. Miss
Rockingham had mentioned a gentleman with fair
hair. Could he
possibly be the
young man I’d seen Jane with in Bath? I didn’t
really need an answer. I was sure he must be.

When I reached
Marianne she was still sitting in the same
spot, her painting things had been abandoned and
she was looking
very cross.

‘Where have you
been? I’ve been sitting here for an age and
I’ve quite given up. It’s just impossible to paint
out of doors.
Everything keeps
blowing away.’

‘Come on, it’s
time to go somewhere else. Let’s walk along
the Cobb,’ I said, ‘then we will have views on
every side to choose
from.’

‘But, it is so
high and very windy up there – I’m sure to get
blown off,’ Marianne complained. ‘And every surface
is wet, I am
certain I shall
slip on the steps.’

‘You’ll do no
such thing. Come along; hold onto me. There’s
nothing to worry about.’

Complaining all
the way, Marianne took every opportunity to
grumble. We took the nearest steps to climb onto
the Cobb wall. Up
on the top,
Marianne clung to my arm and her bonnet, screaming
partly with exhilaration but mostly with fear, as
the fresh breezes
propelled us
along quite out of our control. But even Marianne
laughed like I did, as a gust blew us to the edge.
She screamed; the
sound carried
away on the wind out to the indigo blue sea.

We were coming
to the fork of the harbour wall where it split
into two. Watching the waves as they crashed and
foamed onto the
rocks below, I
suddenly noticed a gentleman standing at the end
near the edge. In complete shock, I stared
intently, gasping in
disbelief.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I watched unable to tear my eyes away.
But then, a cloud passed overhead to
reveal dazzling sunshine that seemed to get behind everything,
winking in my eyes so that I couldn’t see. Against
the bright light
he appeared
almost in silhouette, a shade framed against the
tumbling water that leapt and broke against the
wall. Could it really
be him?

It was Charles,
I was sure! He seemed to be enjoying the dangerous
game of standing too near the water’s edge and
retreating just
before a wave
broke over the surface of the wall, leaping and
jumping out of the way of the spray. I started to
walk a little
quicker, had
almost reached him and was about to call his name,
when he turned and I immediately realized how much
I’d been
mistaken. For
although there was something familiar about his
stance and in the way that he moved with his dark
hair curling into
his collar, it
was not Charles Austen. I felt embarrassed, for he’d
turned to see me racing towards him dragging my
sister in tow and
he now looked at
me, as if I were some kind of mad woman.
However, he clearly was a gentleman. He quickly
recovered
himself, bowed,
raised his hat and wished us a good day. He was
smiling with that expression which still seemed to
be
extraordinarily like one I knew
so well, and his lady who stood a
l
ittle way off watched us with interest, bobbing a curtsey in our
direction as if very slightly amused by our odd
behaviour.

All I wanted was
to leave quickly so nodded my head and
turned; determined to hurry away. In my haste I stumbled. Though
I heard him calling out, to ask if I was quite
well, I ignored him,
anxious
to be gone.

‘Who was that
gentleman? Do you know him?’ Marianne
began, as soon as she could speak.

‘No, I do not
know him. Come, I think perhaps we should go
back down to the sands, it is rather blustery up
here.’

Marianne
persisted. ‘But, your face is all red. Are you sure
you don’t know him? Is he an old lover, Sophia?’

‘Don’t be so
silly,’ I snapped, before I had a chance to pull
myself together. ‘I’ve never seen him in my life
before.’

‘You looked as
if you did and you almost ran to reach him.’

I couldn’t
answer without getting cross, so occupied myself
with the pretence of looking for something in my
reticule and
directing
Marianne towards the steps down to the sands.

‘He reminded you
of someone and I think I know who that
person might be,’Marianne continued, her face lighting up for the
first time that day. ‘I think he has a similarity
to the gentleman you
met in
Bath and that is why you could not contain yourself.’

I ignored her,
changing the subject to that of picturesque
scenes, but her self-satisfied expression told me
that she knew
she’d guessed
right. We sat down on a rock, whilst I fetched out
sketchbooks and pencils for the exercise. The tears
pricked at the
back of my
eyelids, but I was determined not to let Marianne see
me cry. I drew with passion; scolding myself for
being so foolish,
yet found I was
unable to forget the gentleman and his lady who
had since disappeared from view. I had been so sure
it was Charles
Austen, but
however much I’d have loved him to be in the same
remote part of the world, I knew he was far away in
Bath. In any
case, it was
useless to think about him and I didn’t want to admit
that my feelings for him were developing, maturing
into something
else. Marianne
would not sketch again, so I suggested we might
walk home. Overhead the sun disappeared and the
clouds rolled in
changing the
colour of the sea from sapphire to a cool, onyx green.

After a weekend
of hot sunshine, the following Monday
dawned with more wet weather and the usual games. I couldn’t
bear the idea of another round of cards with Mr
Glanville leering at
me when
he thought Emma’s attention was elsewhere, so I rushed
off to the library as soon as I could. It was
wonderful to have a
chance to be on
my own. I selected a couple of volumes from the
shelf and curled up on the sofa to read. But, I
couldn’t settle to any
book and
the person who’d occupied my thoughts so much lately
kept coming into my mind. I wondered what Charles
was doing.

Would he still
be attending the Assembly Balls? I knew how much
he loved to dance. I thought there was little
chance that he would
be
sitting out all the dances because he was missing me. Had he
found another partner and, worst of all, did he
prefer her company
to mine? Charles
seemed lost to me, even if I could see his face
when I closed my eyes and hear his gentle voice in
my head.

I heard a noise
outside the door and then the creaking sound
of the door handle slowly turning had me sitting up
promptly,
blinking away
the tears that threatened to spill over my cheeks. I
was too late. My heart sank when I saw who’d come
to disturb my
peace and I must
admit I felt very anxious to see he was alone. Mr
Glanville walked in and shut the door firmly.
Seeing that I was
upset, his face
contorted with concern as he rushed over to the sofa
and sat far too closely by my side.

‘My dear, Miss
Sophia, whatever is the matter? Why are you
sitting all by yourself? Come now, your pretty face
is full of
anguish.’

I was trapped.
He shifted ever closer; I could feel his breath
on my face. As I kept my eyes lowered, I noticed his
palms left a
damp shadow on
his breeches as he rubbed his knees with his
hands. I made a move to stand, but he suddenly
grabbed my hand,
simultaneously
falling on his knees in front of me.

‘I would do
anything to see you smile, Miss Sophia. Just to
witness your suffering is to make my very own heart
feel the pangs
of misery. How
you torment me!’

I nearly laughed
out loud. It might have been funny if I’d not
also realized that he meant every word.

‘Do not concern
yourself, Mr Glanville,’ I cried, pulling my
hand out of his grip as my courage rose. ‘I promise
you I am not
suffering and I
rather take pleasure in my own company. Indeed, I
have sought refuge in the library to enjoy solace
and reflection.
Besides, I
should hate anyone to feel miserable on my behalf, letalone be in any pain.’

‘And yet, I
remain unconvinced by your rhetoric. Your spirits
are subdued; there are tears upon your countenance.
But, if I may
be allowed to
venture upon a course intended from the very first, I
t
hink I know how best to make those eyes brighten
once more.
Please allow me
to tell you of my heart’s desire.’

The danger of
the situation was becoming all too apparent, I
knew I must remain calm even as he gripped the edge
of my gown
and buried his
face in the muslin.

‘Mr Glanville,
please get up, sir. I assure you that I am
perfectly well. I simply had the misfortune to have
an eyelash lodge
in my eye, which
produced the tears you saw, but it is quite gone
now. Moreover, I do not think Mrs Randall would
approve of my
being here alone
with you. If you will forgive me, I shall leave
now.’

He raised his
eyes to gaze into mine as if I was truly adored.

‘Your
perfections are only increased by this little speech and your
modesty further enhanced, Miss Sophia, but I
promise only to
detain you
further by a mere five minutes of your time and upon an
employment that I feel sure would not be
distasteful to our dear
Mrs
Randall or to any other single female. Besides, I am certain
when that lady knows of my purest intentions toward
you, she will
not only
encourage my suit, but be delighted to share in the superior
felicity which shall surely result.’