Searching for Perfect (27 page)

“I know what you need, baby. Lift up.”

Her panties came off.

She waited for his hands or his mouth, but there was only cold air and emptiness. “Nate?”

“One last taste.” She may die. She squeezed her legs together for relief. “Legs apart. No cheating.”

She obeyed, completely helpless under his spell. He caressed her cheeks, traced the line of her lips. “Open for me, Ken. Wider. More. Yes, just like that.”

Her heart pounded like a pack of Thoroughbreds nearing the finish line. Every muscle locked with tension, awaiting the final spoonful.

His fingers pushed past her lips, her teeth, and lay the object on her tongue.

Chocolate.

Bittersweet, rich, and creamy, the chocolate coated her tongue, melted in her mouth, and took her over the edge.

“Oh, God!”

The blindfold was ripped off and his mouth took hers in a rough kiss, his tongue thrusting in and out of her mouth while his fingers delved between her legs and buried deep.

She came hard, bucking against the chair, a dozen sensations pulling her in different directions. He muttered something against her, hiked her up so her legs wrapped around his hips, and stumbled to the bedroom. In minutes, he tumbled her on the bed, shucked off his clothes, and fit himself with the condom.

She was still shaking from the aftereffects of the first orgasm, when he pushed her knees back and took her in one full, deep thrust.

Her body milked him, welcomed him deep, and clamped hard around his dick. He took her savagely, and she loved every moment, raking her nails down his back as she shattered for the second time. He called out her name with his lips merged to hers, jerking his hips against her as he came.

She tried to move, tried to speak, but it was too much and she was too far gone. A strange tightness in her chest smothered her. A sob caught in her throat.

Oh, no. Why did she feel like she was suddenly going to burst into tears?

He tucked her against his chest, and gently took the pins out of her hair. He smoothed the strands over her shoulders and pressed a kiss by her temple. He didn’t say a word, just seemed to wait for some kind of response. As if he knew she was about to tell him something important.

She was so good at keeping secrets, even from herself, it took her a while to realize she ached to give him something on a deeper level. At this moment, in the dark, with a man who made her feel completely safe, she wanted to tell him the truth.

The words spilled from her mouth unchecked.

“I wasn’t just fat. I was smart. Really smart. I loved math and science and history. It was as if those were the things I could control, the things that made sense. I was in a bunch of geeky clubs. The day they attacked me, I remember seeing all those books spread out on the ground. And I realized the books, the subjects that I loved, had done nothing to protect me. They had actually made things a lot worse. Being smart really didn’t get a woman anywhere;
being beautiful and perfect was the key. I went home and ditched all my books, quit the clubs, started screwing up in school. I became obsessed with things that looked good. I switched my interests to fashion design, apparel, anything that made the world prettier. I became my own Frankenstein. My mother was thrilled—she hated having a smart, fat daughter, and once I began losing the weight, she kept encouraging me. Started to take me to charity events and seemed proud. My father was the one who put me in therapy when he realized I was killing myself. My mother said I looked fine.”

She relaxed her viselike grip on his arm and finished. “I had a great therapist. One day, I realized I didn’t want to die. I wanted a life, a real life, not the shadowy dark place I’d been living in, where food was the enemy and mirrors were to be avoided. I had lost myself, so I decided to put the pieces back together. My parents ended up divorcing, and my father remarried. We rarely speak. Mom moved away years ago with her new husband. I was alone, but I think it was better that way. Kate and Arilyn helped, and I found I really was great at design and running social functions. I concentrated on building those talents and tried to forget the past. But sometimes it sneaks up on me.”

She fell silent and the emptiness hit. Suddenly, all the buildup of secrets and fear let loose and floated away. The only thing left to take its place was a deep sadness . . . for that vulnerable girl she once was, and what she’d given up because she didn’t believe she was worth it.

Kennedy tried to roll away, needing the distance, but his arms held her tight. His warmth and scent wrapped
around her and provided comfort. Slowly, she gave up the fight and took what he offered.

“It’s probably time to realize the real truth, Ken. The truth that I saw the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“What?”

“You’re both. Smart and beautiful. On the inside and outside. You don’t have to choose one over the other anymore. You can just be exactly who you were meant to be. And I think that’s damn perfect.”

She shut her eyes and buried her face in his chest. “I’m a mess.”

“Shhh. Sleep, sweetheart. It’ll all be better in the morning.”

A smile curved her lips and then the darkness was coming and she gave herself up to it, letting sleep claim her.

N
ATE WATCHED WOLFE
pin his gaze on the ball, draw back, and swing through. The club face was nicely square, and he watched his approach shot fall close to the green. Quite respectable, especially for a novice.

Wolfe looked over, not trusting it was a good shot. Nate grinned. “Nice job. Your form has really improved and you’re hitting the green. We haven’t had to trudge through the water or sand in a long time.”

Wolfe laughed as they began walking. “Hell, I’m getting it on the green
and
on the right course. It’s a miracle.”

“Nah, your swing is pure power. Must be that tattoo.”

“You should see what a piercing can do. Especially in a painful place.”

Nate winced. “Gonna pass on that one.”

They played the next few holes in comfortable silence. Nate missed having guy friends. Wayne rarely spoke about anything other than work, and his brother was family, so he had to take his shit one way or the other. He’d never peg Wolfe as the type of guy who’d want to be friends with him. Nate figured he’d ditch him after a few sessions, but he seemed genuinely interested in continuing the golf lessons and even suggested meeting for a beer after work last week.

“When’s your golf meeting set up for?” Nate asked. His club sliced the air and the ball sailed in a full arc to drop a foot from the hole.
Yes. If only Ken could see that one.

“I maneuvered a Friday morning session into his group. Let me tell you, it was tougher than infiltrating the CIA. This sport is hard-core.”

“You’ll be ready. How’s Purity going?”

Wolfe took his shot. It hooked to the left but straightened out enough to keep away from the hazard. “The big opening is in a few weeks, and I’ve recruited a solid list of celebrities. Decided to combine it with a charity event to also give back to the community. New York is a breed unto its own, so I need to run this one different than Milan, and my dad agreed it’s my call. First project I get to run from top to bottom.”

“Your dad sounds cool. Do you get to see each other often?”

“He and Julietta, my stepmom, live in Milan. She’s the head of La Dolce Famiglia bakery and just had a baby, but I’m sure she’ll make it to the opening. She’s hard-core.” The softening of his face told Nate she was well loved. A stab of envy hit him in the gut. What would it be like to have a parent actually care about you and your life? At least Connor was by his side for the long haul, and that was a hell of a lot more than most people got.

“I think I just had a brilliant idea.”

“What?”

“Payment for golf lessons in sweets. I love my pastries.”

Wolfe grinned. “Done. Two items are guaranteed to grab a woman’s attention, and one is good food.”

“What’s the other?”

“A cute, furry animal.”

Hmm. Nate wondered if he should invest in an adorable puppy and recruit Kennedy to help. The idea had merits. Ah, crap, he was nuts. Who thought about buying a pet just to keep the woman he loved? Since the night she had confessed her past, he’d been haunted by her strength and vulnerability. He also realized that she didn’t see it.

He’d woken up Sunday morning in her bed, and she’d already escaped. Safely showered and dressed, she greeted him with a false brilliance that annoyed the crap out of him. He should’ve stripped her naked and dragged her back to bed, where she always listened, but his gut screamed to give her space. Without a word, he’d kissed her good-bye and walked out. He hoped a day to ruminate on their relationship might help bring her to the conclusion they were perfect together. But somehow, he doubted it.

She didn’t call. Didn’t show up for Zumba Monday evening either. And now it was midweek and still not a peep. He needed some sort of sign of what to do. His instinct drove him to be direct, but sometimes women needed subtlety. And he was playing for keeps.

He glanced at Wolfe’s cool tattoo, confident air, and model looks. He always wore these badass leather wristbands that only added appeal. Damn man made it look easy. “Hey, Wolfe?”

“Yeah?”

“You ever been in love?”

He stiffened. Took his eyes off the ball and met his gaze. Those blue eyes suddenly looked haunted, but he
answered the question. “No.” Wolfe studied him. “You got nailed, huh?”

Nate pushed his hand through his perfectly cut hair. “Yeah. Literally and figuratively. It’s the figuratively I’m having a hard time with.”

His friend laughed. “Leave it to a scientist to tell it like it is. She into you?”

“I think. She’s a certified commitment phobic. Afraid to stop and look too deep, as if she’s already convinced it’ll end badly. I don’t know how to convince her I want long term. That I’ll stick. That she’s worth it. Ah, hell, any of this make sense?”

“Yes.” Wolfe looked out over the horizon and remained quiet. Nate recognized in his silence another soul who needed to work things out, and suddenly he realized there was a hell of a lot more to Wolfe under that male model billionaire surface. “Sometimes people don’t believe they deserve a happy ending. Most don’t get it. Did you tell her how you feel?”

“No. I figured that would be the end of it. Damn woman would probably change her name and move out of state in an effort to get rid of me. I figured I’d play it cool. Not push. Let her have space.”

“It’s tricky, Nate. Could go either way. But I know one thing. You’re gonna have to fight hard for her and you may lose. She still worth it?”

“Yes.”

“Glad I’m not you.”

“Thanks, Dr. Phil.”

Another short laugh. “You’re gonna have to tell her.
She should know. If she runs, you just wait her out. Maybe you need to prove you don’t scare easily.”

He tried not to let a wimpy sigh escape. “Maybe.”

“Listen, what are you doing Saturday?”

“Asking me out?”

“You wish.”

Nate grinned. “Just golfing.”

“A good friend of mine is having an engagement party. It’s a pretty big event, and it’ll be fun. Why don’t you come with me?”

He drew back in surprise. He had a feeling it was a big deal to be invited into the inner circle of his new friend. “Will he mind?”

“It’s a she, and no, the more the merrier. Listen, it will be good for you to meet some new people. If things don’t work with this woman, it’s good to realize you have options. Gen’s family is incredible, and it will take your mind off this stuff for a bit.”

“Wouldn’t you rather bring a date?”

“Nah, I just got out of a weekend relationship thing—I’m exhausted. A buddy is what I need right now. You in?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

They finished the game and headed out. Nate slid into his car, buckled up, and heard the ping of his phone. Like a lovesick teen, he quickly checked the text.

Hi Nate, it’s Mary from the mixer. Kennedy told me to contact you about scheduling a date. Said you were really excited to get together. I’m free
this Friday and Saturday night so let me know. Looking forward to it—enjoyed speaking with you at the mixer. Have a great day!

He dropped his head on the steering wheel. Well, Kennedy had finally made the first move, and it was a doozy. Scheduling him a date with another woman after they slept together was definitely a sign.

Just not the one he wanted.

His next move was critical. Time to scan the newest issue of
Cosmopolitan
and pray.

KENNEDY LOOKED UP AT
the sprawling mansion set out on endless acres of property and turned to Kate. “Wow. Alexa went all out for this event, huh? Can she be my adopted sister?”

Kate laughed and grabbed her fiancé Slade’s hand. He juggled the gaily wrapped bridal gift—two small pink bags with Barbie splashed on them—and still managed to look masculine. “You can be mine, Ken,” he said.

She blew a kiss at the man who had stolen her best friend’s heart and began walking up the elaborate stone pathway. “Her mom’s house was too small, and David only has an apartment. They went back and forth on different venues, but Gen really wanted something with a homey feel,” Kate said.

“Yep, all six thousand square feet of cozy. It’s gorgeous.”

“Nick designed it himself. I keep forgetting you haven’t
been here. The whole crew is coming, so things should get lively. Holy crap, is that a peacock!”

A gorgeous blue and violet creature strolled elegantly past them and toward the back of the manicured lawn. White umbrellas were scattered amid rows of pristine white and yellow roses. A seven-piece orchestra played classical music on a platform flanked by marble sculptures. A harpist sat in a long white gown with flowers in her hair and strummed as if plucked right from a fairy tale.

“Oh, boy. I’m never gonna let Gen live this down. Is that a champagne fountain? Let’s go.”

Slade laughed. “That’s my girl, always the most excited over the liquor.”