Searching for Someday (22 page)

When he left his marriage behind him, he longed for peace. Stability. His failure in the institution mocked him, so he focused his energies on helping others who were betrayed and had no advocates. When he lost his parents, Jane became his sole responsibility. He tried to care for her but also failed to protect her from the heartbreak the world cruelly threw out.

The lesson was clear. Nothing lasted, and one needed to prepare for the eventual pain of a broken relationship. He figured letting Kinnections try to set him up with a companion who could fit seamlessly into his life and share
his company took most of the messiness away. He didn’t believe it would actually work, but at least the goal was clear. Until one woman wrecked all of his expectations.

Kate.

She ignited all the hidden instincts long buried. When was the last time he dragged a woman into a corner with the purpose of kissing her senseless? Her constant insistence he belonged with another pissed him off and caused a hurt he didn’t want to examine. As soon as Elena climbed off her Harley, shook out her hair, and gave him a knowing grin, he’d known where the night headed. Sure, Kate warned him he needed to actually enjoy a woman’s company on a few dates before jumping into bed. But Elena was different. She exuded a sensual vibe that said they were two grown adults and could do what they wanted. On their terms.

She was also interested.

His body mildly reacted, but within a few minutes he’d remained cold. He was terrified no one would ever be able to match the electric chemistry he shared with the woman who didn’t want him. Slade wined and dined her, surprised at her engaging conversation and wicked sense of humor. Once again, he admitted that Kate got him right. He did need someone less than perfect, and the layers Elena offered intrigued him even more than Hannah. More than Emma.

But she wasn’t Kate.

When Elena refused to wait and kissed him, he’d kissed her back. Tried desperately to work up enough interest to take her to bed. It would be good for both of them and finally show Kate that he was done playing games.

Until he realized Elena was just a poor imitation of the only woman he wanted.

He pushed her away with regret. She studied his face, understood, and left in a roar on her badass Harley bike. Like a chump, he watched her leave and now stood alone in his magnificent home, with no wife, no dog, no lover, and an endless mocking silence.

No more.

The rage and frustration took root and flowered. He was done sitting around and waiting for something that wasn’t coming. He’d told her she needed to come to him, on her terms, but if he didn’t take what he wanted—what they both wanted—he’d continue on an endless path of dates that had no meaning and implode from frustration.

Slade grabbed his keys and went to claim her.

KATE ROLLED OVER FOR
the hundredth time and shoved the sheets back. Sweat beaded her body, and her skin was oversensitive to any fabric, even the soft cotton of her T-shirt. Her core throbbed and wept for relief that no hot pink ginormous vibrator could ever satisfy. Images of Slade and Elena making love in his bed tortured her vision. She
anticipated his call, detailing his meal and telling her to try again.

Tonight, the phone remained silent.

With a low curse, she sat up and ripped off her shirt, hating even the slight brush of contact against her swollen breasts. She was being punished and it was a doozy. She’d pushed him into the arms of another woman, afraid to claim him for herself, and now it was too late.

The clock digits shone in neon green. Midnight. Robert whimpered from his spot in his orthopedic bed. As if he was also disturbed by her inability to sleep, he shifted fitfully in a drive to get comfortable. Kate sighed and sat up. Maybe she’d put on a movie. Or fire up her iPad and read. Anything but keep thinking about Slade naked with someone other than her.

Loser.

She kicked off the covers and trudged topless into the living room. She grabbed a bottle of water, turned on the reading lamp, and heard the noise.

Kate froze. What the hell? Adrenaline rushed through her and she jumped for the phone to call 911 when the doorbell rang.

Tiptoeing to the door, she peered out the sidelights.

Slade stared back at her.

Kate jerked back with a gasp. What was she going to do?

“I saw you, Kate. Let me in. Now.”

She bit her lip and pondered. This was not a good idea. “It’s midnight,” she hissed through the door.

“I know what time it is. I’m freezing, open the frickin’ door.”

Crap, she was naked! She grabbed the afghan from the chair, wrapped it around her like a toga, and slid open the lock.

He walked in like he owned the place and her. His gaze took in her makeshift outfit, probing the loose holes of the blanket and uncovering the skin beneath. Her nipples hardened instantly. A dangerous air of masculine temper sparked the air, the surge of testosterone wrapping her in a spell that dragged her back to basic instincts desperate to escape years of civility. To mate. To give.

To surrender.

Kate shivered. “What are you doing here?”

“It was a test, wasn’t it?”

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. The knowledge she’d run out of options squeezed her like an insect wrapped tight in the silky rope of a spider’s web. Kate lifted her chin.

“Yes.”

He growled and took a step forward.

One sharp bark jerked her head around. Robert paused in the doorway of the bedroom, watching the scene. He dragged his body down the hall at rapid speed, placing himself in front of her like he was a fully trained guard dog
ready to take down an assailant. Love and pride surged for the unbreakable bond of his protection. Kate opened her mouth to calm him, but Slade had already moved.

With a humble grace that left her speechless, Slade knelt before Robert in supplication. He offered his hands slowly out in the universal gesture of surrender. “Thank you for taking care of her,” he said gently. “But I would never hurt her. I swear to you on all I hold dear in this lifetime, I will never hurt your mistress.”

She held her breath as he leaned forward until he was nose to nose with the pit bull. Moments passed. A look of shared understanding and something deeper passed between them. Slowly, Robert relaxed his rigid stance, bowed his head, and licked Slade’s palm softly. Then he dragged himself back into the bedroom.

The last of her defenses shattered. Kate stared at the man who had humbled himself before her dog, honoring Robert’s emotions as if he were human. Slade rose to his feet, stripped off his jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves, and met her gaze head on.

Raw, hot sexual energy buzzed around them. Her mouth watered at the sight of his half-unbuttoned shirt, the long, tanned column of his neck, and the locked tension of his jaw. His gaze pinned her without mercy, letting her know this was her last chance to run.

“So, you admit you put me to a test.” His words came out lazy, as if he had all the time in the world, but his body
tensed like a predator ready to pounce if provoked. “Did you want me to sleep with Elena? Let you off the proverbial hook?”

“No.” She pressed the blanket tighter to her body. “Half of me wanted you to fall for her so I’d be free. I could hate you, remind myself you weren’t meant to be mine. But the thought of you touching her made me crazy.”

He lifted a brow. “A little honesty, Kate? Good. Since this seems like a good night for clichés, let’s put all our cards on the table. I wanted to sleep with her.” He ignored her wince and kept speaking, refusing to let her break the stare. “I was pissed off by your games and ready to end it. I kissed her.”

Hurt lanced deeply, but she struggled to keep her composure. How could she be betrayed when he only did what she wanted? “I understand,” she choked out.

His face tightened. “No, you don’t understand. That’s the problem. I kissed her, tried to work up a physical reaction, and got nothing. I want you. Only you. The real question is, why won’t you admit you want me just as much?”

The looming confrontation crashed over her and left her nowhere to run. Is this the type of woman she’d become? So scared of being hurt or dragged into a situation she couldn’t control, she quaked with fear? Shame made her lift her chin high in the air. He offered one night of pleasure. She tried to mock his offer by stripping it down to just sex, but they’d already shared much more. Secrets, intimacy,
honesty. Isn’t that what she was running from? The knowledge that once he pushed deep inside her, he’d be buried in both her body and soul permanently?

Time to put on her big-girl panties and follow Frost’s less-traveled road. “I’m scared.”

He cocked his head. “About?”

She shifted her weight and forced herself to confront the truth. When was the last time a male stripped her bare? Dared to want more than a fleeting physical encounter that barely skimmed the surface, refusing to dive deep enough to feel anything real?

Never.

She waited for guarantees in a world with none. She hid behind her company and put everyone ahead of her, urging them to let go and allow love into their lives. Yet she kept herself isolated and alone, with only Robert for company, on a hypocritical throne above the rest of the world. Dear God, wasn’t it time to let go? Take a chance with no thought to an agenda or plan or list she could calmly check off?

Kate refused to cower beneath the blistering doubt in his gaze. “Because I’ve never felt this way before,” she whispered.

He paused a beat and let her wait in miserable silence. “Better. I swore you’d have to come to me, but I couldn’t wait. I passed your test and now you owe me. What are you going to do about it?”

Her throat closed up in pure nerves, and she clutched the blanket as if the soft yarn could save her. But there was only one thing that could save her at this point. Complete surrender.

The man before her would demand no less. Arilyn’s words drifted past in a gentle reminder.

The only way to true happiness is by letting go of control. The rest is just an illusion.

Kate squeezed her eyes shut and reached for courage.

Then let the blanket drop.

Cool air rushed over her flesh, pebbling her nipples. She opened her eyes and waited.

He drank her in with a hunger that stripped away all civility and left her raw and vulnerable. His gaze roved over every trembling inch, lingering on the thrust of her breasts, the drenched core of her sex hidden by a scrap of lace, the length of her bare legs. Kate fought the instinct to cover herself with her hands, knowing he’d never allow her to hide from him again. She straightened to full height, proud in her nakedness, daring him to take what she finally offered.

He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. The air in the room charged and jumped like a live fuse. “If I cross this room, there’s no more running away. I’m going to fuck you until there’s nothing left. I won’t be gentle. Think carefully, Kate. I’m not playing games with you anymore.”

She trembled from the dark threat, but her body begged
him for more, to show her everything he had and not hold back. This was what she’d been waiting for—a man to want her with the passion that wasn’t quite civil or proper. His erection pushed against the fabric of his pants, his muscles locked and poised for his leap once she gave him the words.

Her voice shook. “I don’t want to run anymore. I don’t care about the future, or what’s right or wrong. I’m yours, Slade. Tonight, I belong to you.”

He ripped out a curse and crossed the room.

His mouth took hers in a hard, brutal kiss, his tongue pushing between her lips to set the tone of his dominance. She whimpered in sheer pleasure, opening and taking each thrust deep, drunk on his taste and his smell and the blistering heat of his skin.

Slade wasted no time on preliminaries. He reached down and lifted her, and she wrapped her legs tight around his hips as he walked toward the bedroom, his mouth never breaking contact. She floated in a crazed sea of sensation, her flesh quivering for more, and he placed her on the bed while his hands ripped the fragile silk from her body.

“I can’t slow down. I had plans to torture you until you begged for me, to make you come a thousand times before I even entered your body. But I need to be inside you. You drive me crazy, Kate. Spread your legs. Let me look at you.”

With a wanton openness she never experienced before, she spread her thighs wide. Her arousal leaked over her
thighs, her pussy splayed open and bare for his hot gaze. Slade ripped off his shirt in record time, visually feasting on her throbbing clit as he unbuckled his pants, kicked off his shoes, and removed his briefs. “You’re so gorgeous. I’ve been dying to know your taste, baby. I want to lick you for hours and play with that delicious pussy. But I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”

Kate moaned at his dirty words, her nipples stabbing for the relief of his tongue and fingers. She writhed on the bed while he ripped open the condom wrapper, slipped it on himself, and climbed on the mattress.

Slade knelt between her legs and ran one finger down her drenched slit. She cried out as her swollen flesh begged for more. With a low growl, he dipped his head and dropped gentle, teasing kisses over her drenched core. The whisper softness of his lips, the hot lash of wet tongue, all swirled together and cranked the tension in her belly so tight she thought she’d shatter with one more touch. Her clit hardened and demanded relief, but he ignored it, sliding his tongue over the sides and pulsing his fingers in tiny increments into her channel. She wriggled for freedom, but he kept her held tight, stabbing his tongue around her pulsing clit. Then slipped two fingers deep inside.

She cried out in delicious agony. Breath strangled in her lungs so she was only able to emit tiny pants as those talented fingers rubbed and plunged in a rocking rhythm that drove her right to the edge.

Kate arched, ready to explode, but he gave a sexy laugh and removed his fingers. “Not yet, baby. Not until I’m deep inside you.” He lifted her ankles, placed them on his shoulders, and looked up her body.

Kate shook at the seething, sexual energy crackling between them, soaking into her skin until every pore and cell wept for him to take her. His massive erection poised at her entrance. She fisted her hands in the sheets and wondered if she’d splinter into a thousand pieces once he slid inside.