Season of Passage, The (36 page)

'I'l wear it always, Jim.'

Her face had been obliterated.

After the police had left the morgue, Stephen suggested that he make the arrangements for the burial. He asked when would be a good time.

Today, Terry said. Soon. Why wait?

Two other people were also present, Mr Russo, the Italian restaurant owner who had fed Lauren and himself on their last date together, and his son,

Michael. The boy huddled in the cold beside his father, wearing the face of someone who would rather be watching footbal .

There was no priest or minister. Terry knew nothing about the local religious community, but he had inquired at a nearby Catholic church. They

treated him beautiful y. Was she baptized, Mr Hayes? You don't think so? We've heard it was a suicide, Mr Hayes. That's bad. But she was only a

child, Father. Can't you come? Wel , it's snowing and the Steelers are playing the Forty-Niners. We can pray for her soul if you'd like.

The priest hadn't said exactly those things, of course, but he had come close enough to make Terry vow to burn down the priest's church before he

returned to Houston.

Terry looked up from his handful of bright flowers. Daniel was approaching from the direction of the trees, plodding through the virgin snow of the

cemetery. He wore the scarf Jennifer had knitted him for Christmas. His eyes were red but his face was composed. They hugged beside the black

casket.

'Are you al right?' Terry asked. It was a stupid question.

'No,' Daniel said.

'Do you know why she did it?' Terry asked.

Daniel turned and faced in the direction of the frozen lake, which was barely visible between the intervening trees. 'Because of Lauren,' he said.

'What about Lauren?' Terry asked.

Daniel shook his head. 'Jenny kept saying that something bad was going to happen to her sister, and that it was her fault. She said she was the

only one who could stop it.'

'By kil ing herself?'

Daniel looked down at the coffin and trembled. 'She never said she was going to kil herself. But she knew something. Lauren is having problems.

Jenny knew they were coming. She got strange. She used to frighten me. She used to talk about fire al the time, how important it was. You saw,

Terry, how she could wave her hand through the flames and they wouldn't bother her. Maybe she thought this fire wouldn't burn her. Even when she

poured gasoline over her head and...'

Daniel's voice cracked and he began to sob. Terry hugged him again. 'It wasn't your fault,' Terry said.

'I shouldn't have let her be by herself at the cabin so much,' Daniel wept.

'She liked to be alone. You couldn't have stopped her.'

'I'm going to miss her. I don't want to put her in this hole beside al these dead people.'

'It doesn't seem right,' Terry agreed.

'We should begin,' Stephen Floyd broke in gently.

Terry let go of Daniel and nodded. 'Fine. What do we do? I've never buried anyone before. The priest said he couldn't come.'

'We don't need a priest,' Stephen said firmly. He took the prayer book from his wife. 'We got married in a Catholic Church. We couldn't find a Bible

around our

house, but Jean has her bride's missal. In it are prayers you can read at a funeral.'

'She was the sweetest girl,' Jean said nervously.

'People often do this,' Stephen continued. 'They read prayers and talk about the one who's died. It's fitting and dignified. We don't need strangers

here. We're the ones who loved her.'

Deliver Jennifer, O Lord, from eternal death in that awful day. When the heavens and the Earth shal be shaken. When Thou shalt come to judge the

world by fire. Amen.

The little book went around the smal circle. Michael Russo was the only one who chose not to read a prayer, but his father recited from the missal

and then added a personal prayer of his own for Lauren's safe return. The ceremony lasted a grand total of twenty minutes. It was long enough for

Terry's tastes. He asked Stephen if he could remove the ring from Jennifer's finger. He wanted to save it for Lauren. Stephen had to open the coffin,

but he got it quickly. That done, Terry knelt and kissed the coffin and left his roses on top.

Goodbye. I wil remember you.

Stephen offered to stay and take care of the details. The rest of the group accompanied Terry down the snow-clogged path that led out of the

cemetery. They had reached the cars when Mr Russo said to his son, as if by way of apology to the rest of them, 'You didn't know her, Mike. Is that

why you didn't say a prayer?'

The boy was disinterested. 'I don't know. I didn't want to say one 'cause she didn't die natural y. 'Cause she kil ed herself. That's a stupid thing to do,

I know.'

In a blinding movement Daniel grabbed Michael by the col ar and hoisted the plump boy six inches off the ground. 'Don't you ever say anything bad

about her,' he hissed. 'Not if you want to live.'

'Danny!' Terry cried. 'Let him go.' Mr Russo, however, made no move to protect his son.

'That was a heartless thing to say, Mike,' Mr Russo snapped.

Michael looked appropriately chastised, and afraid. Daniel stil had a good grip on him. Al of a sudden, though, he loosened his hold and shook his

head.

'I'm sorry,' Danny said. 'I shouldn't have done that. You didn't know her, but she couldn't bear people hurting each other. It's what made her so great.'

The incident passed. Minutes later Terry bid the group farewel . He declined Jean's and Mr Russo's offers of a ride to his cabin. He was lost, but he

felt that a long walk in the snow might take him somewhere. He couldn't go to the cabin right away. The thought of going home without either of them

was unbearable.

'What are we supposed to do?' Lauren asked. 'I've never buried anyone before.'

'We can read parts from the Bible,' Jessica said, her voice as smooth as the ten cc's of Valium in her, bloodstream. 'I've got my Mom's Bible. She

used to read it at lots of funerals. We'l pray together. The Lord wil hear us.'

'I hope he does,' Lauren muttered.

Another beautiful bloody sunset spread around them. Only a day ago, as Mars counted time, they had sat and chatted with Jim. Good conversation

on Thursday, dissection on Friday. The autopsy said that he had died of a heart attack. A fine doctor she had turned out to be. But what exactly had

brought on the attack? Mitral valve prolapse never led to cardiac arrest, not that she knew of. She was at a complete loss, and Gary and Bil were

both asking her for her professional opinion.

Gary climbed out of the grave he had just finished digging and stood next to the dark green plastic bag that held Jim's body. Gary glanced at Bil ,

who waited inside his suit, stonefaced, at the top of the hole, his back to the setting sun.

'Why don't you begin, Jessie,' Bil said.

His wife opened the book and - her gloved hands turning the pages with great difficulty - settled on a selection. 'This is one of the Psalms,' she said.

'I think Jim would like it.' She cleared her throat. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shal not want...

"He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside stil waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his

name's sake. Even though I walk through the val ey of the shadow of death, I fear no evil..."'

She finished the Psalm, and added, 'We'l miss you, Jim.'

Jessica handed the open book to Lauren. The pages were yel owed with years. It was ironic, Lauren thought. Gary was trying to convince her there

was a devil loose on the planet, and maybe he was right. But she didn't believe there was a God here. If he did exist, he couldn't have anything to do

with Mars. She knew there was no one to hear their prayers. Shaking her head silently, Lauren gave the book to Gary.

But I did love you, Jim. I always wil .

Gary thumbed through the pages angrily, but couldn't find what he was looking for. He slammed the Bible shut. 'I'l say my own prayer.' He

addressed the red heavens. 'If you're there, God, and you do care about us, please watch over Jim's soul. I believed in him. I think he helped me

believe in you. He was the best of us al .' Gary spoke quietly to the plastic bag at his feet. 'He was my best friend.'

There fol owed an empty silence. It was always a one sided conversation when you talked to God. Gary thrust out the Bible to Bil . 'Here,' he said

bitterly. 'You're our commander. You're the one who should be saying these things.'

Bil took the book without any sign of emotion. He spoke to the rectangular hole in the ground. 'Our loss is great. Jim was rare among men. Al his

life he accomplished what he set out to do. He let nothing stand in his way. He was bril iant, he was kind, but above al else, he was courageous.

We can take a lesson from the example he set, to perform our duty without hesitation, and let nothing stop us. Our thirst is great but soon it wil pass.

We wil complete our explorations and leave this world. Tomorrow Jessie wil accompany me under the ground.'

Jessie.

The last rays of the sun licked their commander's back. A gust of wind came up and sprayed snow in the air; it settled on their faceplates like dirt

thrown in their faces. Bil searched the Bible. 'But for now we must say goodbye to our friend,' he said. 'I would like to say the Lord's Prayer. "Our

Father who art in heaven, hal owed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy wil be done, on Earth, as it is in heaven..."'

I wil show thee the condemnation of the great harlot, Lori, who sits upon many waters. With whom the Kings of Earth have committed fornication,

and the inhabitants of the Earth were made drunk with the wine of her immortality.

Lauren did not recognize the voice in her head. It was not the voice of her own thoughts, nor was it Bil 's voice. Yet it flowed in rhythm with Bil 's

words and it seemed to express a part of him that was stil hidden, but a part which was becoming clearer with each passing second, as the light

steadily faded.

"'Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and..."'

And I saw Lori drunk with the blood of saints and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus...

' "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,"' Bil said. '"Amen."'

Amen. And fuck you, sweet Lori.

Lauren was having difficulty breathing. Her lungs felt as if they were fil ed with burning ash. Yet there was a cold spreading inside her, too, like frost

growing on a cracked window in an empty house. The sun had set. Bil closed the Bible and stared at her. The ceremony was over. She was glad it

was over.

'That was very nice,' Gary said sarcastical y.

'Yeah,' Jessica agreed blankly.

Bil nodded, stil watching Lauren. Final y he spoke, 'It's late. We have shown our respects. You wil bury the body, Gary. The rest of us wil return to

the ship.'

'I'd like to stay,' Lauren said.

'Fine,' Bil said, 'Let's go, Jessie. We have much to accomplish tomorrow.'

As they turned and walked toward the Hawk, Gary reached for the laser he had earlier lain beneath Jim's body. In seconds he had released the

safety and leveled the rifle at Bil 's back. Lauren closed her eyes, and heard Gary pul the trigger.

But no devastating beam of energy spurted forth. Lauren opened her eyes and found a shocked Gary examining the laser. Bil had turned and

watched him patiently. Jessica stood to Bil 's left, to the left of the ozone, not understanding that anything unusual had just happened.

'Is something the matter, Gary?' Bil asked.

'No.'

'Something I can help you with?'

'No,' Gary said.

'Good,' Bil said, taking his wife's hand and turning away again. 'You need not bury him deep.'

Jessica and Bil disappeared inside the Hawk. Lauren stepped to Gary's side. He had thrown the laser to the ground.

'You missed,' she said.

'The laser's broken.'

'Obviously.'

Gary knelt and took hold of Jim's legs. 'I didn't particularly like Bil 's last remark,' he said. 'Give me a hand, Lori.'

'OK.'

'We have a deep hole here,' Gary said. 'He'l rest peaceful y. Nothing wil disturb him.'

Lauren nodded, and took hold of the shoulders.

'We don't have to worry about Jim,' Gary said. 'I know we don't have to worry about him.'

'Yeah,' Lauren said. Stil holding his legs, Gary jumped into the grave.

'The bastard overloaded the laser,' he said. 'He's the one we have to worry about.' Gary quickly slipped Jim's body into the ice-rimmed hole, setting

it down gently, and then climbed out. He began to scan the area.

'What are you looking for?' she asked.

'Jim won't hurt us,' he said for what seemed the tenth time. 'But I think we should get a big rock.'

'What for?' Lauren asked.

'It's good to be careful. I'm looking for a boulder that we can rol over the grave.' He got angry when she shook her head as if he was crazy. 'Just help

me, goddamnit! We don't know what's going on here.' He turned away. 'We don't know nothing.'

The steps echoed from the control room to the bedroom where Lauren lay staring at the ceiling. According to the engineers who had built the Hawk,

it was impossible to hear footsteps from one deck to the next. Lauren figured Bil must have gained two thousand pounds.

Jessica was asleep on the other bed, her system fortified for a long excursion in dreamland with two grams of phenobarbital. Lauren had

contemplated taking a pil herself, but only for a tenth of a second. In her right hand, under the covers, she held the razor-sharp scalpel she had used

during the autopsy on Jim.

The door opened. Lauren jumped, but it was only Gary. He sat at her feet, and the bedroom door shut automatical y behind him. He wore a pair of