Authors: Danielle Steel
Take me to lunch
But I have to go back, you dummy. Felicia sat up now too. And she was smiling, but confused. It was just a silly Sunday.
I know you have to go back. Ill go with you.
To San Francisco? Felicia was grinning broadly now too, with a look of astonishment on her face as Kate nodded.
Yeah. What the hell.
Felicia threw her arms around her friend and the two women exchanged a ferocious hug of joy, as Tygue watched wide-eyed, with a look of dismay.
Who'll stay with me?
Kate looked over at him in surprise, and drew him into the hug, Tillie, sweetheart. And maybe one of these days I'll take you to San Francsico too.
Oh. But he didn't look impressed, and in a moment Kate left him with Licia. She had things to do. Tillie to call ' things to get out of the car and pack ' things to do. San Francisco. It had been six and a half years.
Hallelujaht She could hear Felicia shouting as she walked into the house with a wide grin and her arms full of the clothes she'd bought in Carmel. Kate was going to town.
They had driven along in silence for almost an hour, after the initial excitement and bursts of conversation. They were already more than halfway there, and Kate had just noticed her turnoff in Carmel. Felicia had noticed it too.
Kate?
Hm?
It was dark in the car, but Felicia could see her pro file as she glanced over. She looked no different than she had six and a half years before when Felicia had driven her down to her retreat. If she had known then how long Kate would hide there, she would never have agreed to find her the house.
What's bugging you, Licia? Kate turned to her with a quiet smile.
What made you change your mind?
I don't know that I have, on the whole. I just' oh damn. I don't know, Licia. Maybe this crazy thing with the book has thrown me off. I was so damn happy with my life down there, in the hills. The kid, the dog, all of it
Bullshit.
Kate glanced over at her sharply. You don't believe me?
No. I think you've been bored for a long time. You wouldn't admit it to me, but I think you knew it You can't bury yourself alive like that. You have a whole fantasy life in your books, but that's not real and you know it. You're young, Kate. You need people, places to got trips, men, clothes, success. All of it. You gave up too soon. Tom had his big time. He lived, it, he enjoyed it while it lasted. I think that if he ' if he were still the same, it would kill him to see you locked up like some old woman. You're not Tillie for chrissake. Anyway, you've heard ail that from me before. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a speech.
Kate was still smiling in the darkness. I'd think you didn't love me anymore if you stopped doing that. Anyway, in answer to your question, maybe you're right. Maybe I did know I was bored. Bored isn't really the right word, though. I like my life. I just' ail of a sudden I just got hungry for more. I wanted to see people. Real people. Friday, when I went to see Tom, it was kind of a lousy day and I left early. And for no reason at all, I just got the itchies and drove into Carmel.
You did? Kate nodded with guilty pleasure. You little wretch. You didn't say a thing. What did you do?
Spent a fortune. Kate's cackle made Felicia grin.
On what? I'm dying to know.
Ridiculous stuff. Clothes. Nothing I need. Jesus, I don't even know where I'll wear them. Or rather, I didn't know where I'd wear them till tonight. Maybe that's why I decided to come up to the city with you. To wear my new clothes. She was only half teasing. She still wasn't entirely sure herself why she'd come. Except that there was this new little demon in her that was beginning to shout Go! Move! Live! Dream! Spend! Be! And then she had a sobering thought. Do you think it's an awful thing to do to Tygue? Her eyes loomed large in the darkness as Felicia glanced over at her.
What, go away for a couple of days? Don't be ridiculous. Most parents do it all the time. It'll do him good.
Maybe I should have taken more time to prepare him.
You'd just have backed out. Kate nodded silent agreement and lit a cigarette.
It seemed only moments later when Felicia looked over at her with a smile. Are you ready?
For what? Kate looked vague and then suddenly she realized what Felicia meant. She had been so engrossed in her own thoughts that she had missed the first landmarks. They were nearing it now.
They were already past the airport. Yes. She was ready. Another two miles, and the freeway rounded the last obscure bend and there it was. Kate sat in silence, smiling slowly, as tears filled her eyes. It was home. No matter how long she stayed away. It was home. The skyline was a little taller, a little more jagged, but in essence it was the same. San Francisco was a city that never changed that much. It always kept the integral part of its personality intact And its beauty. The TransAmerica spire pointed sharply into the air from downtown. And suddenly Kate allowed herself to think of places she had blotted from her mind for years. The tree-lined streets of Pacific Heights, the little Victorian houses, the yacht club on a summer's night, the Marina on a Sunday morning, the majesty of the Presidio, the sweep of the Golden Gate Bridge, and all the tiny hiding places she had shared with Tom. Just seeing the skyline, as Felicia raced toward the city, brought back a thousand memories she had long since put away in musty old trunks. Now she held them in her hands and they smelled faintly of old familiar perfume. She rolled down the window and let the night air whip her face.
It's chilly. The fog must be in. Felicia smiled at her and said nothing. Kate really didn't want to talk. She wanted to watch and listen and feel. They were already on the oft ramp into the city.
They were on Franklin Street heading north toward the Bay. As the car crested the hills, you could see the lights twinkling on the other side of the Bay. Even the traffic looked sophisticated. Jaguars and Mercedes and Porsches hobnobbing with vans and VWs and an occasional motorcycle zooming by. Everything seemed to be moving very quickly, and everything looked bright and alive. It was ten o'clock on a Sunday night
Felicia turned right on California Street, and a block later they found themselves following a cable car up the hill as Kate started to laugh.
Oh God, Licia, I'd forgotten. I love this town. It's all so pretty. Felicia wanted to stand up and shout. Victory! She was back. Maybe she'd even come back for good.
Felicia swooped carefully around the cable car at the top of Nob Hill, and Kate fell silent again as she took in the sober splendors of the cathedral, the Pacific Union Club, the Fairmont and the Mark, and then they were speeding down the other side of the hill into the financial district, with the Ferry Building straight ahead. And Kate was laughing again.
Okay, Licia. Confess. You did this on purpose, didn't you?
What?
The guided tour. You know what I mean, you bitch.
Me?
You. But I love it. Don't stop.'
Anything else you want to see?
I don't know. So many feelings were being awakened at once that she couldn't decide what she wanted to see next.
Are you hungry?
Sort of.
Want to stop for something to eat at Vanessi's?
Like this? Kate looked down in horror at the blue jeans, red shirt, and fading espadrilles.
On a Sunday, who notices? And it's late.
I don't know, Licia. She looked nervous again, and Felicia waved a hand as she sped up Kearny toward where it met Broadway. And then suddenly they were catapulted into the uproarious vulgarity of Broadway. Teen Age Co-ed Wrestlers Topless Here, and the usual promises delivered by barkers Virgins, all virgins side by side with Finocchio's and its female impersonators. In the midst of the madness, the traffic and the trucks coming off the Bay Bridge, Enrico's sat with artsy courage, offering one of the city's first al fresco sidewalk cafes. Somehow, with the roses on the pink marble-topped tables, the friendly noise, the colorful passers-by, it all felt very Via Veneto, and not quite so Broadway. And to maintain the illusion, across the street, sat Vanessi's, catering to the beautiful and the nearly beautiful, the important and the soon-to-be and the never-was-but-thought-they-were. Governors and ghouls, matriarchs and madams, portly men in blue suits, women in black with great chunks of gold bracelets, and then at the next table jeans and wildly frizzy hair. It was a place to get lost in, a place to be found in. It was, simply, Vanessi's. Kate and Tom had loved it. At first they had found it too noisy for their romantic evenings alone, but after a while it had grown on them. And Tom was always left in peace there. A few autographs, a couple of handshakes, a wave, but no hassles. No kisses and grabs. Vanessi's.
You up to it? Felicia had come to a screeching halt in the parking lot next door. She hated to give Kate a choice, but it seemed only fair. There was a long pause as Kate looked around, and then absently, her hand went to the heart-shaped watch pinned to her shirt. For valor, for courage.
Okay. She stepped out of the car, stretched her legs, and almost cringed from the noise and the bustle. But even she knew that what she now considered bustle was still half-dead for San Francisco.
Felicia got her stub for the car, and arm in arm they strolled toward the restaurant. Scared?
Terrified.
So are most people about ninety percent of the time. Don't forget that
They don't have anything to hide. It was out then. That was it That was always it. Damn.
Felicia stopped walking and faced her, still holding her arm. You don't have anything to hide either, Kate. You have a lot of pain in your past But that's it It's the past And it's someone else's past. It's his past, not yours. You have a child, a book, a nice clean life in the country. That's all. Kate closed her eyes with a smile and took a deep breath.
I wish that's what I felt, Licia.
Then make it what you feel.
Yes, sir.
Oh shut up. The moment of seriousness had already passed and Kate giggled as she sprinted along on her long coltlike legs.
Ill race you! They ran the last few steps, laughing and choking, and the headwaiter opened the door for them, and even at ten o'clock they were instantly swallowed up in the noise and bustle and avalanche of smells that was Vanessi's. Waiters shouting at the grill, people laughing in the bar, political battles being waged, romances being begun, all of it. It was fabulous. Kate just stood there and smiled. To her the noises sounded like an orchestra playing Welcome Home.
Table for two, Miss Norman? Felicia nodded with a smile, and the headwaiter looked blankly at Kate. He was new there. He didn't know her. He didn't know Tom. He only knew Felicia. And Kate wasn't anyone anyway. Just a girl in jeans and a red shirt.
They were seated in the back, and the pinkish lighting made everyone look rosy and young. The waiter handed them menus. Kate handed hers back. Cannelloni, house salad, zabaglione for dessert. The za-baglione was a warm runny feast of rum and egg whites.
Felicia ordered steak, salad, and a martini, as Kate looked at her watch. Already have a date?
No. I was wondering if I should call Tillie.
She's probably asleep.
Kate nodded, as a wave of guilt tried to creep into the evening, but she wouldn't let it in. She was having too good a time. And dinner was just as good as it had always been. Afterward they walked for a few minutes through the narrow colorful streets of North Beach. Hippie boutiques, artists' hangouts, coffee houses, and the smell of marijuana heavy in the air. Nothing had changed there either. After a few blocks they wandered back to Felicia's car. It was just midnight, and Kate was beginning to yawn.
just call me Cinderella.
You can sleep late tomorrow
What time do you leave for work?
Don't ask. You know how I feel about mornings.
Kate yawned all the way home, suddenly overwhelmed by the feelings her return to San Francisco had brought back. She could hardly keep her eyes open as Felicia pressed a button in the car as they reached the top of Telegraph Hill, and a garage door half a block away swung open.
Good Lord, Licia, how fancy.
Just safe.
Kate was looking at the building with amusement It was even more elegant than the one Felicia had lived in when Kate had left town. It was the typical older bachelors' building. Expensive, well-run, quiet, one- or two-bedroom apartments with extraordinary views of the port and the Bay. Not a place for children, and really not much warmth or charm. Just expensive.
You disapprove? Felicia looked amused as they slid into the garage.
Of course not! What made you say that?
The look on your face. Remember me, I'm the city mouse. You're the country mouse.
All right, all right, I'm too tired to fight you. Kate grinned again through a yawn, and then they were in the elevator and rapidly upstairs. Felicia unlocked her apartment door right from the elevator, and they were immediately let into a hall with delicate French wallpaper in a rich dusty rose and thick creamy beige rugs. There were watercolors on the walls, two large palm trees and an antique English mirror. It was all done in exquisite taste. And perfectly Felicia.
Should I take off my espadrilles? Kate was only half teasing.
Only if you plan to shove them up your ass. I'm not prissy for chrissake, Kate. You can roll on the floor if you want to.
I'd love to. The foyer alone would have made a beautiful bedroom.
But Felicia was already turning on the lights in the living room, which was done in off-white silks and creamy damasks, with dark oriental inlaid tables. There was a breathtaking view and the room's decor was wonderfully stark. The dining room beyond it was much the same with a black and white marble floor, numerous crystal sconces, and a small chandelier. Kate was sure Felicia's life-style hadn't actually been as grandiose six years before. Elegant, but not as spectacular. And there was a terrace that wrapped itself around the apartment and was covered with lush flowers and plants. Kate knew it for the work of a gardener, not her friend.
You like it?
Are you kidding? I'm overwhelmed. When did life get like this?
With the last big promotion. She smiled and then sighed softly. I have to do something with the money. And you won't let me buy Tygue a car for a while. So this is it,
It sure is.
Thanks, love. I'll show you your room. She was pleased that Kate liked it, though actually she was getting a little bored with it herself. It had been two and a half years now. She was almost ready for something else. Something even more elaborate, another step up.
The guest room was in keeping with the rest of the apartment a blue and white room in another delicate French print. There was a tiny fireplace with a white marble mantel, more plants, a door onto the terrace, a little French desk, and a Victorian love seat.
I just want you to know that I may never leave. And then she laughed as she had a horrifying thought.
What's so funny?
The thought of Tygue here. Can you imagine our old peanut-butter pal plonked down on that love seat?
I'd love to imagine just that Felicia looked almost annoyed and then shrugged. Well, maybe ' And then they were both laughing again like kids. Talking about Tygue made Kate miss him a little though. This was the first night since he'd been born that she had been away from him. What if he needed her? If he had a nightmare? If he couldn't find Willie? If'
Kate!
-Huh?.
I can see what you're thinking. Stop it. You'll talk to him tomorrow.
I'll go home tomorrow. But in the meantime ' She tossed herself onto the bed with a happy smile. This is sheer heaven.
Welcome home. Felicia strolled out of the room and across the hall to her own room as Kate called after her, Can I see it?
It was white and stark and very cold, much like the living room. Kate was disappointed.
You expected mirrors on die ceiling perhaps?