Season of Passion (25 page)

It felt as though they'd been together forever. They had gotten up at seven and puttered around the house together. Gone into town for the paper, taken a walk down the beach, and had a huge breakfast which they concocted as a team. Even that went smoothly, as though someone had catalogued their abilities and figured out how each could complement the other. And there was such ease and comfort between them it was that that astounded Kate. After years of celibacy, she did not even feel uncomfortable wandering around naked under his tee-shirt, and now the two of them were lying naked on a towel behind the dune nearest the house, concealed from any eyes but theirs. She marveled again at his beautiful body, as she propped herself up on one elbow and looked at him.

Do you have any idea how extraordinary all this is? Or do you do this all the time? The words embarrassed her as soon as she had said them. It was none of her business what he did all the time. But perversely, she wanted to know. The unexpectedly hurt look on his face as he sat up told her a great deal.

What do you mean by that, Kate?

I'm sorry. I ' it's just' you live in a different world, Nick. That's all. Things are very different for you than they are for me. She said it softly and regretfully. Maybe she didn't want to know after all. He reached out and gently took her shoulders in his hands, and looked at her until she looked back at him. You're right. Things are different, Kate. Or they have been. In some ways, anyway. When I was much younger, I ran my ass off. I chased every woman who turned me on, and a few who didn't. I ran and ran and ran, and you know what? I ran myself out. I finally realized that there was nothing left to run after. Things got a lot quieter after that, and a lot saner, but a lot lonelier too. There aren't many women worth the trouble out there. Hollywood seems to be a mecca for stupidity, selfishness, and vacuousness. Women who'll sleep with you to further their careers, to get closer to Jasper Case, to be seen at the Polo Lounge at the right hour of the day, to get to the best parties, or maybe just to get a free meal and get laid. You know what I got out of all that? Zero. So why bother? Most of the time I don't. In a lot of ways, Kate, I've been as lonely as you have. And you know what I've wound up with? A slick apartment, a few rooms full of expensive furniture, a couple of good paintings, a fancy car. And all added up, my love, it's not worth shit And then, once in a lifetime, one moment, one face, one tiny speck of time, and you know you've seen every dream you've ever had. It's like that feeling of waking up in the morning, dazed and bleary-eyed but you don't quite know why, and suddenly in the middle of your coffee, you remember a dream. A flash of it and then a corner of it, and then a whole chunk of it. And suddenly you know the story and the place and the people you dreamed about. You know the whole thing, and all you want to do is get back there. But you can't. No matter how hard you try you can never get it all back. But it haunts you. Maybe for a day. Maybe for a lifetime. I could have let that happen to me, Kate. I could have let you haunt me for a lifetime.

But I didn't want to do that. I decided to run like hell and get back to the dream before it was too late, for both of us. That was why I came up to see you. I couldn't lose you, not after all these years of waiting. I didn't even know I was waiting for you, but by Thursday night, I did. And so did you. He was right too. She had. She had tried to avoid seeing it. She had told herself she'd never see him again. But she had known something, that strange feeling deep in her soul ' a whisper ' a promise' . I love you, Kate. I can't explain it. I know it's only been a few days. But I just know this is right. I'd marry you today, if you'd let me. She smiled at him and let her head rest on his shoulders, as she gently kissed his neck.

I know. It's incredible though, isn't it? She lay back on the blanket and looked up at him as he watched her with those rich morning-blue eyes. The sky behind him was exactly the same color. It's all moving so quickly. I don't know what to make of it. I keep thinking I can't be feeling like this. I keep thinking I kept thinking, she corrected herself with an apologetic look and a smile, that maybe you did this all the time. But that didn't explain how I feel. How can I feel this way about you so quickly? After all these years ' I don't understand myself. But she did not look unhappy. In fact, it was the first time he had seen her without the shadows haunting her eyes. That darting look of pain had been gone when they'd woken up that morning. She looked like a new person. And she felt reborn.

Maybe that's how it happens though. Over the years, I've heard stories about people who've lived together for five or ten years, and then suddenly zap-one of them meets someone else and gets married in two weeks. Maybe if you had to wait all that time to check it out, you knew it wasn't right all along. Maybe when it really happens, when it's right, when it's the person you were meant for, maybe then it just happens, bang, and you know it. That's what happened to me.

He lay down next to her on his stomach and kissed her on the mouth. Kate?

What, love?

Were you really serious about never remarrying?

She nodded and looked hard at him before answering. Yes. He could hardly hear the word, but he was sorry when he did.

Why?

I can't explain it. I just know I can't.

That's not fair. And it doesn't make sense. Or maybe it was just too soon to push. He searched her face and saw something pained come into her eyes again. He was sorry he'd brought it up. Maybe you don't owe me any explanations.

There are none to give. She ran a hand softly down his back and looked at him in a way that made his insides tie into a satiny knot. All I can tell you is that I'll do anything you want, but not marriage. She said it intensely, and he gave her a lecherous smile.

Given what I'm thinking at this very moment, Cinderella, that suits me just fine. And he did not mention marriage again. He made love to her on the towel, in the sand, and then bobbing in the waves in front of the house.

Nick, you're indecent! She ran laughing and breathless back to the towel and lay down, smiling up at him, as he fell carefully on top of her, catching himself on his arms.

Look who's talking. I didn't do it by myself, you know.

Nicholas ' Nick ' N ' Her voice faded away as he kissed her again and spread her legs softly with his in the warm sand. It was well into the afternoon before they went back to the house, tired and brown and happy, and as though they'd been lovers for years. And then with shock, Kate looked at a clock on the wall in the kitchen. Oh my God!

What's wrong? He looked over his shoulder with a mouth full of grapes.

Tygue. Hell be home at four. I totally forgot! It was the first time in six years she had done that. She had even forgotten Bert, but at least she had fed him before leaving the house the day before. He only ate once a day, and he could get in and out through his own special door.

Relax, darling. It's only three

But' He shut her up with a kiss, and shared one of his grapes passed delicately and uncrushed through his lips. Will you stop that? I have to ' But she was laughing now. I'm serious.

So am I. I packed this morning. All I have to do is shower, and strip the bed, and we'll get back in plenty of time. Do you want to call Joey's parents?

Maybe I should. Christ, I probably should have done that last night. What if something happened to him, or ' He kissed her again while picking up the phone, which he handed her with a smile.

It's not a sin to have a good time yourself for a change. He kissed her again. Call. I'll start the shower. She joined him in it five minutes later. Evething okay?

Fine. She looked sheepish. He doesn't even sound like he missed me.

Of course not. Not with two new goats to distract him. Did Joey's dad get the pony? He lathered himself and handed her the soap. It smelled of carnations.

Two of them. One for Joey's sister.'

Sounds like a good man.

So are you. They kissed again under the spray, with the smell of carnations all around them.

No funny stuff, young lady. We have to get home.

Well, listen to you. But she was amused. He seemed to be good at all things. Being a lover, being a father, being a friend. He was right to want to get married. He would have made a marvelous husband ' would have made ' she thought the words with regret as she handed back the soap, and let the spray of hot water rinse her clean.

They were dressed and the house was closed twenty minutes later. She had packed up the kitchen while he finished dressing, and she stood next to him with a sorrowful look as he locked die front door. He turned and saw her, and then pulled her into his arms with a smile.

Aw, sweetheart, come on. It's not over. This is just the beginning. It was crazy but there were tears in her eyes. The weekend had been so lovely, she didn't want it to end. She wanted it to go on forever. And now she had to go back to being Tygue's mother, and driving up to see Tom. She wanted to stay in Santa Barbara with Nick forever. But he had to get back to reality too.

But what happens now? She sagged against the railing for a moment, and looked into his eyes. But there was nothing frightening there at all, only oceans of love.

Why don't we just see what happens? I can have this house every weekend for as long as I like. The guy who owns it never uses it. It's not flashy enough for him so he just lets it sit here and rents it out. So it's all ours if we want it. And I can drive up from L.A. every night if you want me to. After the show. I could be there by midnight, and gone by the time Tygue gets up.

Nick, that's crazy. You'll be a wreck. But she had to admit she loved the idea.

We could give it a try, and you can come down to L.A. and try it on for size. Ease into it, if you want. There's a whole lot we can do, Cinderella. I told you, this is just the beginning. The glass slipper fit, didn't it? He leaned over and kissed her, brushing the soft, flying hair from her eyes. I love you. That's all. That's all. So simple. And everything he said sounded wonderful ' except that she had her own decisions to make. She had to move at her own pace, in her own time. And there was Tygue to think of too.

What do we do about Tygue?

Let him grow into things too Trust me. I think I can manage that.

I think you can too.

So, is it settled then? Are you satisfied? She nodded happily as she slid a hand into his arm and walked down the steps to their cars. Nothing was settled, but it all sounded damn good.

Do you want to follow me back? It seemed obvious that he'd come home with her, but he shook his head and unlocked his car as she stood next to hers with a look of surprise.

No. I think you need some time with Tygue. How about if I come by around six? I have some things I could do in Santa Barbara.

For two hours? He nodded, and she felt a sudden wild stab of jealousy. What if he had a woman in town? What it that was why he usually came to this house? What if ' but he saw the look in her eyes and started laughing.

Darling, you are perfect and I adore you. He walked over to her and took her tightly into his arms.

You looked like you were about to kill somebody.

I was. She looked over his shoulder with an embarrassed smile.

Not me, I hope.

No. The woman I imagined you were seeing.

Kate, my love, I can honestly tell you that I don't have a single woman friend in this town. I usually come up here to get away from it all. And as for the rest of them, I will happily hold a public burning of my little black book in front of city hall at high noon on Monday.

Why wait that long? I'm sure I've got a match. She fumbled with the pockets of her shirt and he tweaked her nose.

I'm sure you do. We'll use it later. Now get your ass back to your kid, you jealous bitch, before I rape you right here on the front steps.

In front of my station wagon?

Anytime. He held the door to her car open and she slipped inside. He shut the door carefully and leaned inside for a last kiss. Drive carefully, please.

Yes, sir. See you at six.

Hey, Mom! It's Nick! His shouts of glee echoed precisely what she felt, and the two of them raced outside with Bert as the long blue Ferrari came to a gravelly stop. The two exchanged a quick look over the child's head, and then Nick's attention was entirely Tygue's. He hopped out of the car and swept the boy into his arms with ease.

How were the goats?

Great! And Joey got two ponies. Well, one is supposed to be for his sister. But it isn't. She's a creep, and she's scared of it. What a dumb girl, it's a great pony.

I'll bet it is. He put the boy down and turned to reach into his car. Tygue, when you visit a lady, when you grow up, it is always a good idea to bring her flowers and candy. So ' He pulled out an armful of lilac and tulips, and handed Tygue a huge box wrapped in gold. Your mom gets the flowers, you get the candy. Tygue looked immensely pleased with the arrangement, and his mother looked equally so.

You're spoiling us, Nicholas.

Anytime, Cinderella. He put an easy arm around her shoulders, and held out a hand to the boy, and together they walked inside. It was a warm summer night, with only a slight breeze to bring a chill to the air. Tonight it was too warm for a fire. Instead, they sat on the floor and sang songs and ate hot dogs and potato salad until Tygue went to bed. He was already half asleep when he got there, deposited by Nick, and tucked in by his mother, He was sound asleep when they left the room. And Nick took her into his arms as soon as she closed the door. Okay, sexy one, which way to yours? And then he stunned her by picking her up off her feet. Next. She was laughing softly as she gave him directions, and he deposited her on her bed. It was a cheery room done in bright flowered prints. Licia had given her the matching bedspread and curtains and beautifully covered chairs as a house-warming present six years ago, but they looked as pretty and cheerful as ever.