Seasons (12 page)

“No, I’m fine. I was just thinking about how much I’m enjoying today.”

“I’m enjoying it too. In fact, I’m finding that I always enjoy myself when I’m in your presence.”

Jaci didn’t know how to respond. Although she liked the feel of his strong arms embracing her and decided to be quiet and
just enjoy the moment, she cautioned herself—
careful, remember this man has a potent effect.

After a while, J.P. whispered in her ear, “You’re a hard woman to get to know. But I refuse to give up because I believe you’re
worth the effort, no matter how hard I have to work.” When she didn’t respond, he continued. “Jaci, I don’t think I’ve ever
been as entranced by a woman as I am with you. Are you involved with anyone right now?”

“No. Why?” Jaci’s heart beat wildly. She knew where his question was leading and felt uncomfortable because she feared her
answer would spoil the moment.

“Because you’re a beautiful, intelligent woman whom I enjoy spending time with. And I think you know I would like us to spend
more time together to get to know each other on a more personal level.” When she didn’t speak, he continued. “Do you think
that’s possible?” She was definitely not making it easy for him.

“Well, I have some very strong opinions about the dating scene, and after you hear them, you may not want to get to know me
better,” she answered. “And since we’re on the subject, are you involved with anyone? That road goes both ways you know.”

He laughed, realizing he should have expected that question. “No. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t go out occasionally,
but there’s no serious involvement with anyone. So tell me about your strong feelings regarding the dating scene. I want to
hear it.”

She pulled away and stepped to his side so she could look at him as they talked. “I don’t have to tell you after our conversation
on the way down here that I’m very leery of any kind of relationship with men. But there are several other reasons I don’t
get involved easily. First and foremost, I don’t believe in casual affairs. But that’s the norm in today’s dating world, and
you’re thought of as obsolete if you don’t do it. It amazes me that although we’re constantly hearing about how AIDS and other
STDs are rampant, people are still sleeping around, thinking it can’t happen to them. Many of them are not even using protection
and not getting tested to find out if they’ve been exposed.

“You have to understand,” she continued. “I deal in reality. I’m too old and wise at this point in my life to act stupid or
coy. I’ve dealt with the consequences of that kind of foolishness too long. Although I’ve always wanted a husband and a family,
I’m not going to violate my principles again in an effort to make it happen. Experience was a very good teacher.” She grimaced,
recalling all she had suffered because of poor judgment. “I believe honesty and commitment should be the foundation of a relationship.
A lot of men run from that and have no intentions of maintaining a monogamous lifestyle—married or not.”

She paused to get his reaction. When he remained silent, she continued. “You won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t agree with
me, but you did ask, and I’m merely telling you how I feel. In any case, honesty at this point makes more sense than lying.
At least we’ll know where we stand. So . . . Would you like to gracefully withdraw and say forget it? I gotta tell you, a
man who lies just to get things to go his way is likely to get a whipping,” she said with a smile.

He saw that behind the smile, she was serious. “No, go on,” he said slowly, wondering if he really wanted to hear the rest
of what she had to say.

Not missing a beat, Jaci continued. “Like I’ve said, I have some serious trust issues where men are concerned. And the men
I’ve had the misfortune to deal with have done nothing to change that. In fact, they’ve more or less proved it’s not even
worth the trouble. Any man I date would have to understand that and be able to deal with it,” she chuckled. “Usually when
I get to this point, the man has concluded that he’s dealing with a crazy woman and runs so fast it’s hard to tell he was
ever here. Do you want to continue this conversation or stop here and cut your losses? Speak freely—I can handle it.”

J.P. hesitated. This was some heavy stuff coming from this woman.
Do I want to take this any further?
he asked himself.

“No! . . . I understand where you’re coming from,” he finally answered, searching himself at the same time. He wanted to be
honest. Frankly, he was often tempted to revert to his old ways. But he knew he was tired of the same kind of women and the
same meaningless relationships. Knew it wasn’t taking him where he wanted to go. Knew it was time to stop half-stepping and
try another way.

“I appreciate your honesty and everything you’ve said, but I’m not other men. I was, I admit, indulging in that dating scene
like some of them, but I’m not anymore. And regarding the trust issues, as long as I know what I’m dealing with, I can handle
it. Now, do you think it’s possible for us to spend some time getting to know each other? Let’s just see where it takes us.”

“Before I answer that question, tell me exactly what you’re looking for. I mean, why do you want to get to know me? You have
a reputation for being a ladies’ man. I just told you how I feel about that. It occurs to me that maybe I’m just a challenge
to you. If so, I’m not interested in seeing where it can go, I already know it’s not going to be a good trip for me.”

“Wellll. Uh! Let’s see.” Again, he took a long time answering. “You really don’t beat around the bush do you?” He laughed
nervously. “I’m thinking about this because you’ve been very candid with me, and I want to answer you honestly. I guess the
best way to explain is to tell you about my parents. After forty something years of marriage, they still love and care for
each other. They are at their happiest when they’re together, and they’re together a lot. They have a level of trust and commitment
between them that’s uncommon in the world today, but it brings them a lot of peace and contentment. One day it dawned on me
that because of my lifestyle, I was missing out on something great.

“I’m sure you’ve heard that it’s insanity to keep doing the same thing in the same way and expect a different outcome. I want
what my parents have, and to get it, I knew I needed to make some serious changes. I admit I was out there—and I’m still tempted
some times—part of that scene you described—going from woman to woman in pointless encounters. But I’m not crazy, so common
sense prevailed. I still date, but it’s for a different purpose now. I’ve committed my life to Christ and now want to commit
myself to one woman. And I want to be healthy and able in every way to fully enjoy life with that special woman. I would at
least like to explore the possibility of your being that woman.

“You’re not the only one who has been betrayed. My son’s mother left me for another man before I was able to make enough money
to keep her happy. So I know what it’s like to be hurt. And for years I’ve been running from commitment in fear of a repeat
of that. But at some point you have to decide to stop looking back toward the past and move forward into the future.” He gave
a silent thanks for Sunday’s sermon. “Now that we know where we stand, can we move forward?”

His description of his parents’ life together filled her with yearnings that had been pushed into forgotten corners of her
mind.
Oh to have a hope for that kind of life.
Could she take a chance? Should she? “Okay,” she heard herself agree. “As long as you understand where I am on certain issues
and continue to be honest and up-front with me. If at any point, you decide you want to move on, tell me. I can deal with
it. I’m definitely not into sharing,” Jaci said, looking at him, without a hint of a smile.

“I’ve heard everything you’ve said, and just for the record, I’m not into sharing either. I’m very happy we had this conversation.”
He smiled and drew a deep sigh of relief as unexplained happiness bubbled up in him. He pulled her back to their original
position.

They were quiet for several minutes as he held her close to him, enjoying the feel of her soft body against his. “What are
you thinking about?” he asked softly.

Jaci sighed before answering. “I was daydreaming a little. Don’t laugh now, but one of my fantasies has always been to come
to this or some other island with my husband and to experience the romantic ambiance, go to sleep, listening to the waves
crashing against the seashore, and watch the moon’s magic reflecting on the water. And then to wake up early enough to share
the joy of the sunrise. It would be like coming into harmony with God, nature, and each other, you know?”

J.P. groaned softly and tightened his embrace. Her words caused a deep longing within him.
Oh please, God, let it be me,
he prayed. “That’s a beautiful fantasy, honey, and not difficult to make a reality. I’ll be one very unhappy brother if I’m
not the one sharing it with you.” Despite her admitted hang-ups, her honesty and openness intrigued him. Nobody could accuse
her of being fickle or shallow. She knew who she was and what she wanted. It would take a man of character to hold her. He
sincerely hoped he had it in him to be that man. “Do you hear what I’m saying, Jaci? I could very easily stake my claim on
you right now and I wouldn’t be going anywhere.”

“Yeah, I hear you. I think we’re caught up in some kind of romantic spell right now. It’ll pass.”

Her unusual peace and contentment with less than favorable circumstances blew his mind. She knew what she wanted but was prepared
to live without it if she had to. It made him want her more. “What if it doesn’t pass? What if we don’t want it to pass?”
he pushed.

“Shhh . . . hh! Don’t break the spell, Jason. Let’s just enjoy it.”

He grinned, relishing the way she had said his name. He started planting kisses from her temple to the side of her face and
neck. “Come here, sweetheart.” He said as he turned her in his arms and hugged her tightly. “Awwww, honey, you feel so good
in my arms,” he said before kissing her. Jaci’s last coherent thought was that the darn spell had gone too far.

They were so lost in the kiss that it took a moment for the noise to register. A man and a woman standing near them loudly
cleared their throats in an effort to get their attention. “Excuse me!” the man said. “I just thought you folk might like
to know we’ll soon be reaching land.”

J.P. grinned broadly. “Thanks. I was just trying to keep my lady warm.”

“Looks like you were doing a pretty good job of it,” the man stated as he and the woman headed to their car, laughing all
the way.

Jaci covered her face with her hands. “I’m so embarrassed. Two old people out here in public acting like kids . . . Can we
just get in the car?”

“Honey, don’t break the spell now, okay? We still have the trip back across the bay, and I don’t want to spend it without
you . . . and the spell. I don’t see anything wrong with what we were doing. It’s a romantic night. Most of the people on
the ferry were probably doing the same thing.” He led her to the car and opened the door, then closed it after she slid in.
He went around to the other side, got in behind the wheel, and turned to her, reaching to cup her face in his hand. “In fact,
I’d like to pick up from where we were before we were so rudely interrupted.”

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, her eyes, nose, and then her lips. Jaci backed away, praying,
Lord, deliver me from temptation.
“Jason, I think we should just enjoy the ride, okay.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” He didn’t back away from her though. “Can I at least keep my arm around you?”

“I guess that’s okay,” she answered in a soft voice.

Before they knew it, the drivers in cars behind them were blowing horns and yelling at them to move so they could disembark.
Jason groaned, “Not again!” and hurriedly drove off the boat and down the road to find a place to turn around, then pulled
in behind the line of cars waiting to catch the ferry back to the other side. They didn’t even think about getting out of
the car this time.

“Some spell, huh?” Jaci said after a while. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me tonight.”

“Whatever it is, it’s gotten to both of us. I say let’s just go with the flow? I’m enjoying it.”

“Yeah, I am too,” Jaci answered. “You know, it’s been a really good day. Ever experienced one of those rare moments in life
when you just know there’s no place else in the whole world you’d rather be than right where you are?” At his nod, she continued.
“Those moments are supreme blessings and I’ve learned to savor them. Today has been one of those moments in my life. It’s
been fun.”

He too was filled with a rare contentment. “It has been fun. And like I said before, I ain’t going nowhere. Hopefully, there’ll
be many more of these moments for us.”

Suddenly remembering the couple laughing at them earlier, she cringed and asked, “Can you imagine what was going through those
people’s minds? Probably something like, ‘Some people just don’t know how to behave in public.’” She laughed and he soon joined
in, and before long, they were cracking up.

“Uh uh! I think they were enjoying the show and wishing it were them. They’ve probably forgotten how to do it.”

“Or they’re asking themselves if they really want to,” she said, giggling.

A few minutes later, she went into a deep, thinking mode. The atmosphere between them was no longer comfortable. In fact,
Jaci admitted to herself, it was charged with electricity. She was aware of J.P. in a way she had been fighting against and
feared feeling about any man again. Briefly Maxie came to mind.
Stop!
—she told herself sternly,
don’t even go there. There’s no comparison between the two.

As if picking up on her thoughts, J.P. spoke. “You can tell me if you don’t think it’s my business, but have you been seriously
involved with anyone since Maxie?”

“No. But like I said earlier, I’ve tried. I’ve always wanted to share my life with a special man. I’ve dated off and on, but
nothing worked out. Then after one of them went after Randi, it scared me so bad, I decided to give up on dating.”