GRAY
Three
hours later, we head to the Brew House with
a stack of
papers
.
Dylan has me go in
alone
, so Lenny doesn’t feel like we’re ganging up on her
.
When I walk in,
I find
Lenny
sitting in the back of the restaurant going over some paperwork
.
She
offers
me
a grim smile
when she sees me
, one that looks forced
.
I
study
her
solemn
expression
and f
or the first time, I realize she always looks like this
.
Unhappy
.
Frustrated
.
Pissed off at the world
.
M
aybe I never saw it before because that’s how I felt
.
I was so unhappy I didn’t even notice
.
My throat starts to get tight
.
I should have done this for Lenny months ago
.
I hate it
that
Dylan’s
always
right
, as if
she holds life and people and friends under
a magnifying glass
for me
,
s
o I see
everything
clearly
.
Why can’t
I learn to see
these
things on my own?
“
Hey
,” I say
.
She raises an
eyebrow at me
.
“I
have a surprise for you.
”
I sit down across from her and
set
a pile of
papers on
the
table
between us
.
“Wow,” she says
.
“Thanks
.
I’ve always wanted your class notes.”
“They’re a
pplications
, smartass,
to fill out
s
o you can start school
in the
fall.
You might
even
be able to take summer school if you register
soon
enough.”
She examines
the papers with a
frown
.
She
pushes them back at me, as if I just offered her food she’s allergic to
.
She s
ays it’s a nice
thought
but it’s not going to happen
.
I’m not giving up that easy
.
“I talked to an advisor
.
She can help you figure out all the classes you’ll need for the
nursing program
.
She
gave me her card
.” I
take the business card o
ut of my pocket and set it
on the pile.
Lenny picks it up
.
For
an instant she looks curious
, but then s
he
shakes her head
and sets the card down
.
“
I don’t think so
.
Thanks anyway.” She
blows me off and focuses back on the
binder she was working on
.
Why did I have to pick the most stubborn person in
Albuquerque
to try and help
?
I shove
her
binder to edge of the table
.
“What’s your problem?” she says
.
“
What’s your problem
?
Why won’t you at least try?” I ask
.
“Are you worried you won’t get i
n
?” I ask.
“
No,
”
Lenny sho
o
t
s
back
.
“
I was already accepted two years ago
.
I
never
registered for
classes
because unlike most of the spoiled brats at this school, mom and dad can’t pay for my education
.
I don’t get a go-to-college-for-free credit card
.
In fact, mom borrow
s
money from me half the time to help pay rent
.
Get it
?
I can’t go
to school
and
work full time
.
”
I narrow my eyes at her
.
“
A
lot of people go to school without any help
.
It’s called student loans
.
And m
aybe you c
an
work part time
during school
.
”
Lenny shakes her head
.
“
It won’t work
.
But thanks for trying
.
Really.
”
I tap my foot against the ground and try to read what she’s thinking
.
“
Wh
y
are you so afraid of
doing something for yourself
?
”
I
ask.
“
Excuse me?
”
I look around the café
.
“
You hate this job
.
You complain about it every single day
.
So, w
hy are you wasting your time
?
What are you afraid of?
”
Lenny frowns
.
“Dylan
put you up to this, didn’t she?
”
Before I answer she
leans over the table and
lashes out at me
.
“
Well not everyone’s as ballsy as Dylan, okay
?
My
mom
would
shit
a brick if
she
found out I left a full time management
position
, with benefits and a salary
,
to go back to school
and
rack up student loans
.
My parents didn’t go to college
. T
hey don’t understand
.
My mom didn’t
even
graduate from high school
.
And D
ad
isn’t much help
,
since we haven’t heard from him in six months
.
I’m the on
ly thing h
olding
us
together right now.”
This is so strange,
to
hear
these words
.
To listen to Lenny’s situation
.
She
’s
in the same
dilemma
I was in back in Phoenix
.
Feeling responsible
.
Stuck
.
Seeing no way out until someone believes in you
, f
orces you to have the courage to change
.
But I was never selfl
ess enough to help Lenny
.
I was too busy feeling sorry for myself
.
“
I bet
your mom
wants you to be happy,
”
I say
.
Lenny
takes a deep breath
.
“
She
also
wants to be able to
pay the
electricity
bill
.
I can’t
afford school right now
.
We’re broke.
”