Second Chance Christmas (The Colorado Cades) (7 page)

Her tone was fiercely maternal. She made a damn good mother, even if she’d only been on the job for a few months.

Did her fiancé have what it took to be an equally capable father? And what kind of husband would he make? The man seemed like a decent, likable guy, but what was with that kiss on Elisabeth’s cheek? Obviously, they weren’t going to make out in front of Kaylee and a bunch of Christmas-tree enthusiasts, but shouldn’t there be
some
chemistry between them? Justin knew firsthand how passionate Elisabeth could be.

“Stevie wasn’t what I expected,” he said.

“Don’t call him ‘Stevie.’ It’s patronizing.”

“Can I call him Maurice?” he teased. “Or how about ‘the space cowboy’? From ‘
The Joker’?
Oh, come on, that was funny.”

Kaylee bounced back toward them, waving goodbye to the girl with pigtails. “That was Marissa. She’s in the class next to mine. Marissa’s mom says maybe I can come to their house after Christmas. They have a rabbit!”

“That sounds like fun,” Elisabeth said, but Justin noticed the concern in her eyes. Was she worried about Kaylee finally starting to make friends just as the time came to leave Cielo Peak?

They moved to the front of the line, ordering three cocoas with extra marshmallows. As he stirred his, he felt Elisabeth’s gaze on him and caught her staring at his cheek again.

“Don’t worry,” he told her. “It looks worse than it is.”

“I forget sometimes how dangerous your job can be,” she admitted. “You take care of yourself out there, okay?”

“Always.” As he’d demonstrated when he broke up with her, looking out for himself was what he did best.

* * *

E
LISABETH
’
S
RESERVATIONS
ABOUT
staying with Justin at the tree farm were no match for Kaylee’s delighted giggles as the girl darted between scotch pines and blue spruces. Justin played “Marco Polo” with her, pretending not to know exactly which row she was in until she jumped out to surprise him, eliciting comical shrieks.

It was bittersweet to watch them together. He was so damn good with her.
Probably because he himself is a big kid at heart
. She had to remind herself that knowing how to have fun wasn’t the same thing as being reliable. There was a man back at her place who would never let her down or break her heart.

“Okay, you two, you seem to have forgotten why we’re here. Justin needs a tree,” she reminded Kaylee. “Any suggestions?”

The girl offered opinions ranging from “that one might make Santa sneeze” to “this one’s got a bald spot, like our principal.”

Justin made a show of weighing her sage advice as he steered her away from any tree over four feet. “My house isn’t very big, so I need a small one. Those are the best, anyway, because it’s easy to reach the top.”

“We always had an angel at the top of our tree,” Kaylee said shyly. “The angel’s pretty, but not as cute as my teddy bear snowman. That’s my favorite of all.”

Elisabeth inhaled sharply, cursing her lack of foresight, and Justin met her gaze over the top of Kaylee’s head. Michelle’s Christmas decorations were amid the many boxes stacked in a storage unit in Denver. Elisabeth had brought all of Kaylee’s belongings with them and sold Michelle’s bigger pieces of furniture. But there were tons of items Elisabeth hadn’t been able to face. She’d planned to sort through it all with Kaylee when the girl was older.

They were supposed to decorate their tree tonight, their first together as a family, and she suddenly suspected that Kaylee wasn’t going to be very impressed. Throughout Elisabeth’s childhood, the Christmas trees had always been gaudy affairs, strewn with a mishmash of school pictures in painted macaroni frames, funky knit snowmen made by Grandma Donnelly and all of Lina’s favorite ornaments clumped together in one group.

Once she moved out on her own, Elisabeth was free to have an elegant, color-coordinated tree. All of her ornaments were blue and silver, many of them crystal and not very kid-friendly. She didn’t even have an angel. She used a three-tiered Waterford topper made of blown glass. It was exquisite, but it was no teddy bear snowman.

“I think I saw some ornaments for sale in the tent,” Justin said. “Maybe you could pick one out before we go, a souvenir from Cielo Peak.”

“What’s a ‘souvenir?’” Kaylee asked.

“An item that helps you remember special places or events,” Elisabeth explained.

The little girl looked indignant. “I would never forget Cielo Peak! It’s my home.”

Not for long
. Elisabeth bit her lip, torn between reminding Kaylee that they had lots of new, wonderful things to look forward to in California and simply letting her enjoy the moment. It was wonderful to see her smiling.

“Snowball fight!” Justin called his announcement at the same time he lobbed a ball in Elisabeth’s direction. It thudded against her shoulder, distracting Kaylee’s attention and putting an end to Elisabeth’s internal struggle. For the moment, anyway.

Elisabeth bent to pack some snow between her gloves, making Kaylee laugh with her vows of retaliation.

But the impromptu snow battle highlighted why Justin Cade had never been the right man for her. He excelled at temporary distractions, not long-term solutions. When relationships got too intense for him, he slipped away faster than a snowball would melt in the summer sun. Kaylee might be too young to understand that, but it was Elisabeth’s job to remember it for both their sakes.

Chapter Six

When Elisabeth arrived at Arden’s studio Saturday morning, she expected to encounter a few reminders of Justin—after all, he was Arden’s brother. But she hadn’t been expecting to encounter Justin himself. She drew up short in the doorway, sucking in her breath.
You have
got
to be kidding me.

He smiled ruefully over the head of the infant he held against his shoulder. “I’m not stalking you, I swear.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” she asked, finally remembering to move so that Kaylee and Steven could also come in from the cold.

“I’ve got an odd shift today. Don’t go in until after lunch since I’ll be working abnormally late.” He reached down to tousle Kaylee’s curls when she hugged him. “I’m teaching a first aid class around seven and leading a moonlight snowshoe tour. Meanwhile, Arden had a last-minute change of child-care plans so I agreed to meet her here and take my gorgeous niece off her hands for a few hours.”

“He’s a lifesaver,” his sister added. She stood a few feet away, stirring a packet of creamer into a mug of coffee. “My normal weekend sitter is a schoolteacher. She’s taking advantage of the two-week vacation to visit some cousins in Texas. My backup sitter is Jill Dennis, but she called this morning to say she was coming down with a bad cold. I couldn’t risk leaving Hope with someone who’s sick.” There was a note of anxious apology in her voice, as if she worried her clients would think her unprofessional for having her baby at the studio.

“Of course you couldn’t let her stay with someone who’s ill,” Elisabeth agreed promptly. Although she and Arden were, regrettably, not as close as they’d once been, she’d heard about Hope’s first few days spent in a special incubator. She could only imagine how protective Arden must be of her child.

Noting the garment bag draped over Steven’s arm and the small duffel he carried with accessories for varying outfits, Arden pointed him toward the changing room. “You can put those in there. There are already hangers on the rod if you need them, so everything stays unwrinkled and camera-ready.”

“Can I hold the baby?” Kaylee asked, sticking both arms straight out in front of her.

Justin lowered his voice to a friendly, confidential tone, as if he were sharing an important secret. “I’d better hold on to her—I’ve almost got her to sleep. You wouldn’t believe what a
pain
she is when she doesn’t get her naps. I mean, she’s crankier than Chef Bates when someone rearranges any of the supplies in his walk-in pantry.”

Kaylee giggled, and Justin bent his legs so that he was closer to her height—albeit, not by much.

“Here,” he whispered. “This way you can get a better look at her. Just remember, no touching. And keep your voice soft like mine.”

“So she’ll fall asleep,” Kaylee agreed. “And not be a pain.”

Elisabeth couldn’t help creeping forward for a closer look of her own. The infant was tiny, bundled in a fuzzy blanket, her head covered in an adorable hat that looked like a polar bear face. Beneath the baby’s sleepy eyelids, Elisabeth glimpsed the same blue-green color of Justin’s eyes.
She could pass for his daughter
. It was a bittersweet thought, imagining him cradling a child of his own against his broad chest. He looked like such a natural with his niece, but Elisabeth knew he had no intentions of ever becoming a father.

Although he made jokes about being “the shallow Cade,” she suspected his aversion to building a family came from losing loved ones. Would he ever change? Would sufficient time pass for him to one day overcome his emotional baggage? Or would he perhaps meet a woman he cared for enough to face his fears?

Whether it happened or not, she wouldn’t be around to see it. She’d be in California, embracing her future. Grateful she’d met a man dependable enough to offer her that future, she flashed a warm smile over her shoulder at Steven, who was being pretty gracious about running into Elisabeth’s ex for the second time in two days. He’d confirmed after Kaylee went to bed last night that Elisabeth and Justin had once dated, but he hadn’t seemed threatened by it.
And why should he be?
It was Steven’s ring she was wearing. Justin was the distant past.

Although, he sure seemed to be popping up a lot in her present.

Elisabeth stepped forward to make introductions. “Arden, this is my fiancé, Steven Miller.” Behind her, Justin began humming to the baby. Elisabeth assumed it was a lullaby but a moment later, as she accepted Arden’s offer of coffee, she identified the tune as “
Fly Like An Eagle
.” She shot him an unamused glance, which he returned with a phony expression of boyish innocence.

Smart-ass
. But she caught herself fighting a grin as she turned back around.

“Did you two have something particular in mind for your pictures?” Arden was asking. “I have standard backgrounds and props, and we can try lots of different poses then see what looks best in the proofs. But some couples bring in meaningful items or request settings uniquely personal to them.”

“We don’t have anything like that.” Elisabeth blurted her answer without thought. It was only after she’d spoken that she worried she’d made them sound like a dull couple. There were obviously moments and symbols of personal significance for them, she just couldn’t think of one off the top of her head. “Our main request is that you do a couple of shots that also include Kaylee. We’ll probably use one with just us as the official engagement photo, but we’re going to be a family. We wanted some portraits of all three of us.”

Arden nodded. “If you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping, a nice framed photo of the three of you could make a great gift for relatives.”

Typically, Elisabeth was done buying gifts by the end of November. This year—with Kaylee in her life—was a bit different, but there was already a neat stack of family presents in her closet waiting to be wrapped while she listened to her carol playlist or watched
White Christmas
. In light of Arden’s question about special mementos, Elisabeth was suddenly second-guessing her high-tech purchases for Steven, including a messenger bag charging station for all his electronic devices. Should she have picked out something with more emotional significance?

She’d never been particularly adept at the sappy stuff. Lacking her sister’s creative flair, Elisabeth’s forte was practicality. Back when she’d been dating Justin, she’d struggled with what to get him for his birthday. After two weeks of waffling between ski gear or a gift card, she’d given in to a silly whim and presented him with a book of erotic redeemable coupons. Not a groundbreaking gift in terms of originality, but he’d reacted with a wickedly appreciative smile.
“Just what I always wanted. How’d you know?”

She wasn’t sure they’d made it through the whole book before he ended their relationship, but while it lasted, it was difficult to say which of them had enjoyed his present more. The biggest downside had been not anticipating the moment when Patti Donnelly asked at the dining room table, “What did you get him, dear?” Elisabeth’s cheeks had burned hotter than the candles on the cake.

“Okay, Arden.” The sound of Justin’s rumbling baritone snapped Elisabeth out of her memories. He was buckling the baby into the infant car seat that doubled as a carrier. “We already put the base for the seat in my SUV, I’ve got her feeding schedule, her blanket, the insanely heavy diaper bag, the folding travel crib, a partridge and a pear tree. If that’s everything, I’m heading out.”

Kaylee’s bottom lip, much like the Grinch’s heart, grew three sizes. “You’re going already? Can I go with you?”

While he’d been busy gathering baby gear, Justin had apparently missed the part about Kaylee being in the pictures. “Want me to get her out from underfoot for a couple of hours?” he asked Elisabeth. He no doubt thought he was doing them a favor, keeping the girl occupied while they had their photo shoot. “I could use an assistant babysitter.”

Steven met her gaze. “You did say you wanted to run some wedding errands after. I don’t mind if she stays with Justin. If he doesn’t mind waiting a few minutes so Arden can take the pictures with her first?”

Justin shrugged in agreement, and Kaylee beamed so brightly that pictures of her would probably come out overexposed. Elisabeth was the only person in the room who didn’t seem delighted with the arrangement. It wasn’t that she minded Justin looking after Kaylee. It would be much easier to concentrate on pricing at the bakery and florist without a six-year-old underfoot, but... Was Steven avoiding the little girl? He sometimes seemed to be at a loss for what to say to her, which she understood. He was an only child without a lot of experience with kids. But if they were going to be married, he couldn’t avoid Elisabeth’s daughter forever.

That wasn’t a discussion for the lobby of Arden’s studio, however.

“Thank you,” she told Justin. “You’ve made her day. Again.”

“I’m glad. I’ve always liked her.” He watched fondly as Kaylee executed happy twirls around the reception area, her blue-and-green plaid skirt billowing out over her leggings. “It was horrible what she and her mother went through. Not that I met Michelle, but I’ve seen what cancer does. And when Kaylee moved here...”

She waited, curious what he would say.

“Never mind. You should be getting ready for your close-up, not wasting time with me.”

She retreated to check her makeup and straighten Kaylee’s blue hair bow, but his casual words stayed with her. He’d said “wasting time.” There had been a point after their breakup when she’d wondered if the months with him
had
been a waste. Why had she invested so much in a relationship that a more intelligent woman might have seen was doomed from their first date? Yet, she didn’t think she’d ever truly loved a man until Justin. There’d been crushes, of course, and boyfriends about whom she’d cared deeply. But he had been different. Before him, she’d never once rolled over in the morning and thought,
That’s the face I want to wake up to for the rest of my life
. Even though their relationship hadn’t worked out, maybe he’d opened her up to new possibilities, new depths of feeling.

Her time with Justin had been many things—unexpected, adventurous, infuriating, arousing and ultimately wrenching. But it hadn’t been a waste.

* * *

J
USTIN
FOUND
HIMSELF
half wishing that baby Hope would wake up and cry. At least then, he could walk with her, patting her back and feeling useful. While she slept peacefully in the carrier, he had nothing to do but watch and wait. He looked on while Arden and Elisabeth admired each other’s engagement rings, and he had a surreal moment where it felt as if everyone around him were getting married. In reality, he only knew of the two couples, but since he was in the room with one and a half of those couples, it still left him strangely isolated.

Then Arden got the trio arranged in front of a formal background, and Justin had to admit the future Miller family looked good together. They’d color-coordinated in a way that was unifying but not so identical that it created a disturbing Stepford effect. Steven’s tie was the same color blue as the sweater beneath Elisabeth’s blazer, highlighting the blue in Kaylee’s print dress. Justin had to glance away. The tableau they made, smiling and nestled together, was too much. Too taunting, too treacherous.

Looking at them would beguile most anyone into daydreams about white picket fences and silver anniversaries, but that wasn’t the whole story, was it? He remembered quite well how happy his parents had looked together. And how losing Rebecca Cade had devastated his father. As far as Justin was concerned, the man had died of a broken heart. After Rebecca’s death, Justin’s dad sank into depression and a series of seemingly unrelated maladies until his heart failed. For the final years of his life, the man had been more a ghost of himself than an actual father. And now there was Colin....

Justin couldn’t imagine the hell Colin had endured when he lost his wife and young son; he only knew that since then, his brother had gone renegade. He’d given up his job, his home and all but a few remaining ties to his brother and sister. Thinking of how different Colin had become, how bitter, Justin forced himself to look back at Elisabeth. Despite the smiles beaming at the camera, was there anything on the other side of his sister’s lens that wholly justified the emotional risk?

Arden worked quickly, changing sets and poses while respecting her clients’ time. “I think I’ve got some great shots of the three of you,” she told Elisabeth, “if you want to release Kaylee and focus on the engagement pictures.”

“Sounds good.” Elisabeth hugged Kaylee and admonished her to behave. Then she turned to Justin. “I promise we’ll try to get through our errands quickly. I don’t want to take advantage of your generosity. Do you want to meet us somewhere, or should I just pick her up at your place?”

“My place is fine.”

She averted her gaze, and he wondered if she recalled the last time she was there, after his birthday. They’d had a hell of a night that lasted into early morning. She’d been the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, dawn bathing her naked skin as she drifted to sleep in his bed, her red-gold hair fanned across the pillow in a near match for the sun’s rays. As he’d watched her, it felt as if something had cracked inside him.

“I should change,” she said after an awkward pause. “See you both later.”

Justin helped bundle Kaylee into her jacket, then picked up the baby carrier. They were on their way to his SUV when the door to the studio flew open behind them.

“We forgot the booster seat,” Elisabeth called, chasing after them in such a hurry she hadn’t even bothered with a jacket. She looked stunning in a wraparound black dress. Apparently, she’d wanted something more sophisticated for the engagement photos than the wholesome family portrait. It was a deceptively simple garment—hanging in a closet, it might even have looked boring. But molded to her lush curves, it was silky, sinful temptation.

They transferred Kaylee’s seat to his SUV, and Justin was momentarily disoriented, as if he’d hit his head hard. Or fallen into an alternate dimension. He was the most confirmed bachelor and least likely family man in all of Cielo Peak. So why was he pulling out of the parking lot with two adorable little girls buckled into the back of his vehicle like he was a freaking soccer mom?