Authors: Randi Cardoza
Chapter 28
Delia and John arrived shortly after Shawn got to Kenzi’s room. He was still trying to convince her that it wasn’t her fault.
“What’s happened?” John asked as he pulled aside the curtain shielding the room from the door.
Tears leaked down Kenzi’s cheeks but she wouldn’t tell them about her current failure with Shawn.
Delia hugged Kenzi and sat in a chair on her left side while taking her hand. John stood with his hands on the back of Delia's chair.
“Why is she crying?” Delia asked. “We tried not to worry about why you both were here, again, but no one would tell us what happened.”
“Jason kidnapped us,” Kenzi said as she tried to keep from shuddering.
“Jason? Jason who?” John asked puzzled as he grabbed Kenzi’s medical chart.
“Jason Gramaldi,” Shawn replied. “Kenzi, I’m going to leave you with your mom and dad for a while. If you need me have a nurse come get me in the coffee shop, okay?”
Kenzi nodded and more tears leaked out as she watched him leave the room.
John couldn’t decipher anything from her chart and tossed it down with a bang.
“What the hell is going on, Kenz.?” he asked.
“Shawn’s going to leave me,” Kenzi wailed as her face crumpled.
“He hasn’t left you yet, why would he?” Delia asked.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant and I lost the baby last night. We already have issues to deal with about me losing Layla,” Kenzi said as she reached for a tissue.
“Kenzi, it’s not your fault you miscarried. Despite what people think, it takes a lot to miscarry on purpose,” Delia said squeezing Kenzi’s hand.
“Kenzi, Shawn was trying to tell you it wasn’t your fault when we came in here. If you continue to blame yourself, he will eventually believe it. That’s a fact,” John said as he sat in Shawn’s vacated chair.
“I feel like an awful mother. I can’t keep one baby alive long enough to be born and I let the other one be taken from right under my nose,” Kenzi replied with a sniffle.
“Isabella, you listen to me,” Delia said as she grabbed her chin and turned her face toward her. “You were taken from me at one time by my own sister. I was terrified and blamed myself because if I’d watched you more closely, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“It’s not the same thing, mom,” Kenzi said as tears dripped down her cheeks.
“Yes it is. At the time, I didn’t know it was Samantha who’d taken you. I thought you would be found dead somewhere and when they found the both of you in California, I was so relieved.”
John spoke up at this time to add, “Kenzi, losing the baby wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t control the conditions you were in. All you and Shawn can do is mourn the loss and move on, like you have done before.”
“I just feel like a complete failure. It hurts to know that I let another of my children down,” Kenzi said sinking further back into her pillow.
“Sweet girl, listen to me. Shawn has always loved you, even when you were apart. He doesn’t think of you as a failure, in fact, I’m sure he is wondering how the baby survived so long considering that you were on that awful island,” Delia said.
Shawn sat forlornly in the coffee shop praying Kenzi would need him. When a hand touched his shoulder he jumped.
“Sorry to startle you, sson,” Gabe said as he took a seat next to Shawn.
“When did you get here, dad?”
“Just a few minutes ago. I left your mom and the kids at the hotel but they should be here soon.”
“Kenzi miscarried,” Shawn said taking a large drink of his stale coffee.
“Son, I’m sorry,” Gabe said as he squeezed Shawn’s shoulder.
“She didn’t even know she was pregnant but she blames herself for losing our baby.”
“It’s a strange thing with women. Before your mom and I got back together and Billie lost our little girl, she blamed your mother. When Jan almost lost her baby, she blamed Kenzi. Kenzi blames herself,” Gabe commented.
“Yeah, but Jan and Billie both were fighting for the man they wanted against another woman. Why can’t Kenzi blame Jason for the death of our baby instead of herself, dad?”
“Kenzi’s been through a lot. Speaking of which, why are you down here instead of with her?” Gabe asked as he silently ordered a coffee.
“John and Delia are talking to her and I wanted to give them some privacy,” Shawn replied sullenly.
“Listen to me, son. Kenzi will change her mind or something will change it for her. The best thing to do would be getting her back to Farmington for some R and R.”
“She’s even refused to get remarried. I just hope something changes her mind about that. I don’t think I can live without her, dad.”
“Shawn, she’ll come around. Trust me. When your mom and I separated years ago, I thought I’d die because I’d done something so stupid as to give her a reason to leave me. It was worse when I started seeing Billie and she got pregnant. Don’t be stupid enough to let her leave without a fight this time,” Gabe said as he sipped the fresh coffee placed in front of him.
“That’s not what happened last time,” Shawn replied defensively.
“That’s sure as hell what it looked like. Your mother and I have gone through a lot to be together and so have John and Delia. Don’t let something like this end what you have with Kenzi,” Gabe answered back.
Megan entered the lobby with Tommy, Isaac, and Mia just at that time.
“Why is Tommy here? I thought the Ropers only let us have him in Farmington for a week or so,” Shawn asked as he kissed Megan’s cheek.
“They decided to take their daughter camping and since Tommy was here, and he begged, they’re letting him stay for the rest of the month. I called to let them know we had to come here so they can contact us,” Megan replied. “Where’s Kenzi?”
“She’s in her room with John and Delia. Mom, she had a miscarriage,” Shawn said and was immediately enveloped in a hug.
“Why don’t we all go see her and cheer her up? Shawn, go buy the woman you love some flowers. They might brighten up her day,” Megan suggested.
“Just a minute, Megan, there’s one other thing. Kenzi blames herself for the miscarriage and thinks she doesn’t do anything but lose her and Shawn’s children,” Gabe added as he caught Megan’s arm.
“If she’s not seeing reason by the time we get there, I’ll have a talk with her in private,” Megan replied as she ushered all of them out of the coffee shop and towards the elevator.
Shawn went to the gift shop and bought a single orchid in a crystal vase and knowing Kenzi couldn’t resist chocolate he bought her a medium-sized box of milk chocolate turtles.
Everyone stopped him in the hallway and he was swept to the cafeteria before he could get to Kenzi.
“Your mother is talking to her now,” John told him as lunch was purchased for everyone.
Megan sat looking at Kenzi. She was beautiful and Shawn loved her more than life itself. Megan knew she couldn’t let Kenzi do this to Shawn again.
“Megan, I really appreciate you trying to cheer me up but nothing could do that right now,” Kenzi said sullenly.
“When you and Shawn divorced do you know what he did?” Megan asked.
“No.”
“He came to me and cried, actually he sobbed. As if having your daughter kidnapped wasn’t hard enough, the woman he loved more than anything in the world was leaving him. You tore his heart out and served it back to him on a platter,” Megan said harshly.
“How could we stay married? We didn’t even talk to each other anymore?” Kenzi questioned and at the same time was shocked to feel her heart ache at the thought of Shawn crying over her.
“It doesn’t matter because he was, and is, still in love with you. It’s the same thing this time, Kenzi. You’re leaving before giving your love a chance to overcome this.”
“I’m not leaving. I just don’t think I deserve someone as good as Shawn when I keep losing our babies.”
“Does he blame you for losing them?”
“No...not now anyway,” Kenzi replied.
“Why would he unless you convince him that you are? You don’t want him to believe you did it on purpose but at the same time you blame yourself. Why should he believe you if you blame yourself?” Megan asked taking Kenzi’s hand.
Kenzi’s eyes glistened with unshed tears but she knew Megan was right.
“I still feel like I could have, no should have, done something to prevent this from happening,” Kenzi said with a sigh of resignation.
“Sweetie, we all feel like that at one point or another. You couldn’t control what was out of your hands and you can’t blame yourself for not having control over the situation.”
“I do, though.”
“Kenzi, listen to me. You’ve probably heard those words a lot today. Gabe and I had a long road to where we are now. We lost each other and found each other again. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs, including the whole town finding out about things we'd both rather have stayed secret.”
“Those ups and downs are what have put the backbone into our marriage. You and Shawn have the same thing but chose to give up on it, and I have to admit Gabe and I did that, too, when we divorced so he could marry Billie. What you and Shawn have is so similar to Gabe’s and my marriage and also your mother and father’s marriage.”
“It hurts to think I could keep hurting him this way when I could avoid it,” Kenzi said softly.
“It will hurt him more to be away from you. Think about it okay? Do you want to break his heart again?”
Kenzi shook her head negatively. It was funny but only Shawn’s mother could make her see his side.
“Should I go to the cafeteria and send him up?” Megan asked getting up.
“Yeah, please,” Kenzi replied. “Oh, Megan?”
“Yes, Kenzi?” Megan said as she turned back towards her.
“If you don’t mind me asking, but when were you going to tell us you’re pregnant?” Kenzi asked with a smile.
“I didn’t think it would be good to bring it up since you and Shawn just lost the baby. It’s due next June,” Megan said over her shoulder as she headed out of the room.
Chapter 29
Shawn practically ran out of the cafeteria when Megan appeared in the doorway. He had the gifts he’d bought for Kenzi in his arms and was on his way before anyone could say anything.
Megan looked at Delia knowingly as John and Gabe smirked knowing just what was going through his head.
Shawn could hear nurses calling after him telling him to slow down but he ignored them. Kenzi was the only thing he could think of. She was watching reruns of Supernatural when he reached her room.
“Kenzi?” he gasped as he rushed to kneel beside the bed, ignoring the nearby chairs.
“Oh, Shawn, I’m so sorry. I know it wasn’t my fault but it doesn’t keep me from blaming myself sometimes,” Kenzi said hugging him.
“Just don’t leave me. Please tell me you’re not going to leave me again, my Kenzi,” Shawn pleaded.
“You’re home, Shawn. I’m never going to leave you again. I go where you go. No matter how much we argue I’m never ever going to leave you again. I promise,” Kenzi swore pulling him to his feet.
Shawn sat on the edge of the bed and lay down next to Kenzi when she moved over.
“Can we get married again, then? And have another baby when you’re ready?” Shawn asked as his hand gently massaged her stomach.
“I love you, no, I adore you. We can get married whenever and wherever you want, tough guy.”
“My golden girl, I love you more than could ever be possible. How about a month from now? Would that be too soon to get married?” Shawn asked as he got out of the hospital bed.
“You’re going to make me wait an entire month, Shawn Michael Douglass!”
“Well, I guess I could manage it in a couple weeks and see if we can talk our parents into forgetting the vacation and letting us use the trip to the Caribbean for our second honeymoon,” Shawn suggested.
“Much better,” Kenzi nodded in agreement.
“Now, I have a question for you.”
“What, Shawn? Can’t it wait till later when I don’t need you to hold me in your arms?”
“Well, I was going to propose to you formally but if you want to wait…” Shawn said as he started to climb back in the bed.
“Shawn!” Kenzi protested immediately.
“I thought you’d see it my way,” Shawn replied as he got down on his knees by the edge of the bed. “Kenzi, will you make me the happiest man in the world, for the second time, and marry me, again?”
Tears started to stream down her cheeks again as she nodded her consent. Shawn took her engagement ring from before out of his pocket and slid it onto her finger.
“I thought about getting you another ring but I just had the setting on this one changed instead. Look at it closely, my love,” Shawn whispered.
Kenzi looked at the ring and added to the original diamond solitaire were three stones, her birthstone, Shawn’s birthstone, and Layla’s birthstone.
“It’s beautiful, Shawn. More beautiful than the first time you gave it to me,” Kenzi replied as she watched the light bounce off the gems.
“I also brought these for you,” Shawn said as he gave her the single orchid and the chocolates.
“Thank you, Shawn. Should we tell our parents?” Kenzi asked as Shawn climbed back into the bed with her.
“I think your parents already know,” John called from the doorway.
Within the next few days Kenzi was released from the hospital and they all flew back to Farmington on John’s private jet. Kenzi, Delia, and Megan planned the wedding while on the plane.
It would be a simple affair with only close family and friends in attendance.
Two weeks later
:
Kenzi walked down the aisle on John’s arm and with an ivory colored cane wrapped with a small garland of purple orchids and pink irises.
Her dress was white with embroidered pink and purple flowers. Her hair was curled around a crown of fresh flowers and fell down her back in loose waves.
Danielle and Mimi, both obviously pregnant, stood at the front of the church watching as their best friend finally reunited with her own true love.
Shawn watched Kenzi float towards him. He could hear his heart beating in his ears but nothing could compare to when she finally reached him and touched his arm with two fingers.
Kenzi could barely hear the ceremony as she was so excited but guessed she had responded appropriately.
It was over before she knew it and a huge reception followed. Kenzi could hardly remember any of it except dancing in Shawn’s arms for most of the night.
Tommy, Isaac, Ryder and Brady very nearly destroyed the getaway car as they loaded it down with shaving cream and balloons.
Before Kenzi knew it she was on her father’s plane to the Caribbean where she and Shawn would spend two weeks for their honeymoon.
“Shawn, today was better than our first wedding,” Kenzi said as she snuggled next to him on the couch.
“What makes you say that?” Shawn asked.
“Our first wedding was fantastic, don’t get me wrong. But Danielle and Ryder were arguing during the entire reception because she wanted her career over him and then Brady got involved. Now, Brady and Danielle are married and Ryder got smart.”
“How did Ryder get smart?” Shawn asked lazily.
“Mimi. She might talk a mile a minute but she knows how to get to him. Mimi won’t stand for his spoiled, rich boy tactics and she calls him on it.”
“Yeah, I guess he did get smart. What about us?”
“People like us, my love, are what make days like this possible.”
They looked out the window to see the sun setting into the water, a sight they had last seen in terror.
The plane slowly sank down to the small airport on the private island where they’d be staying. Their luggage was immediately placed in a cab and they were swept away to the bungalow they’d be staying in.
A couple notes awaited them.
Shawn and Kenzi,
Hope you enjoy the island. Have a good time.
Love,
Your parents
Kenzi folded that note and opened the second to see Mac’s slashing handwriting.
Fromier and Douglass,
Congratulations on your marriage. Your releases went through today, so you are officially done with the FBI unless you come back on a consultant basis.
Mac