Second Chances (33 page)

Willis hadn't left right away. True to his suggestion, he walked alongside her as
little Cris and Walter chased each other down the lane. When they came to a puddle,
he was quick to offer his arm so that she could step over it without muddying her
Sunday shoes. They walked in silence for a while, Willis occasionally commenting
about the changing seasons or laughing at the antics of the boys.

Anna would smile in response, but her silence indicated just how distracted she truly
was. To her relief, Willis did not seem bothered in the slightest by her lack of
contribution to the discussion. If anything, he appeared to feel encouraged, rather
than repelled, by it.

When they returned to the house, he lingered by the door as if anticipating an invitation
to stay longer. Of course, without anyone else home, Anna couldn't invite him inside,
but he seemed surprised when she didn't even offer him a refreshment.

“I best go see what the
kinner
are doing,” she said, her hand on the doorknob as
she anxiously waited for him to leave. She needed to be alone, just for a few minutes,
to try to understand what Freman's appearance at worship, coupled with his gesture
of walking her home, might mean.

His disappointment was more than apparent. To his credit, he hid it behind a smile.
“
Ja
, best rest up too,” he said as he headed down the porch steps. “We've a big night
ahead of us.”

She wondered at his choice of words, for she certainly would not consider a singing
to be a big night. But as soon as the sound of his buggy disappeared in the distance,
she leaned against the door and shut her eyes, thankful for just a moment of peace.

Freman's eyes
, she thought. There was something in his eyes when he had looked at
her, his solemn expression masking the true nature of his remark about the umbrella.
He had thought ahead and intended to seek out her company, a premeditated action
that suggested more than she dared to hope.

Is it possible, she wondered again, that his unfinished business had something to
do with her?

“Oh, heavens!” Mary exclaimed when she entered the kitchen, pausing to set her basket
on the counter. “Where did you have the boys this afternoon? Their shoes are covered
in mud, Anna!”

“They'll clean up fine.”

“True enough, I reckon.” To Anna's surprise, Mary didn't argue. Instead, she crossed
the room and sat in the rocking chair beside the sofa. With a loud sigh, she leaned
her head back as she watched the boys beside her sister, pointing at the pictures
in the book. Pushing against the floor with her feet, she rocked back and forth,
the gentle motion seeming to relax her. “What a long day,
ja
?” She didn't wait for
Anna to answer. “Hannah disappeared after the meal, I expect with Caleb. Why, I'm
surprised at how open they are! In my day, everything was kept so hush-hush until
the bishop made the announcement!”

“In your day was not that long ago, Mary. You talk as if you are an old woman,” Anna
chided gently.

“Oh, you know what I mean! Can you imagine if one of them changed their mind?” Just
the thought caused Mary to shake her head. “The scandal it would cause!”

“They'd hardly be the first, I'm sure,” Anna responded just as Cris walked in from
having unharnessed the horse.

“Scandal? What scandal?” he asked, having overheard the tail end of his wife's statement.
He set his hat on the counter and joined them in the sitting area.

Mary waved her hand in the air, as if he should already know what she was referencing.
“Your
schwester
and Caleb. They're so
ferhoodled
that everyone already knows about
their engagement. I was just saying to
Anna, just imagine how scandalous it would
be if one of them changed their minds!”

“Back in our day, we kept it secret,” he said, causing a laugh to escape Mary's lips.
It was a genuine laugh, one that Anna hadn't heard from her sister in a long time.
At the sound of it, Cris smiled at her, patiently waiting to be let in on the joke.

“Oh, Cris,” Mary said lightly. “That's exactly what I said! And Anna teased me for
saying it!” For a moment neither one of them spoke, and for the first time since
she had been staying there, Anna observed a tender look pass between them. It dawned
on her that Cris's boundless patience balanced Mary's never-ending grievances. Underneath
their differences was one commonality: love.

“Best to save the reputation of them both, I suppose,” he finally stated.

“I'm sure Freman wishes he wasn't so open about his affection for your other
schwester
,”
Mary added, too casually for Anna's care. “And he just shows up at our worship?
Just out of the blue?”

Snapping his fingers, Cris abruptly turned toward Anna. “Speaking of Freman,” he
said as he reached into his pocket.
When he withdrew his hand, he held a white envelope between his fingers. “I'm not
certain why, but he asked that I give this to you.” Before he handed it to her, he
glanced at the front of it, quickly assessing the neat, cursive hand-writing that
spelled out Anna's name. “Must be from Sara, I reckon.”

The surprise of his words coupled with the envelope forced her to stare at him, unable
to reach out and take it. He waved it, just twice, as if to awaken her from a trance,
and laughed when, with trembling fingers, she finally
removed it from his possession.
Mary, however, had lost interest in the conversation and leaned forward, reaching
for the book that rested in Anna's lap.

“Where are you in the story?” she asked, looking from one of her sons to the other.
“
Mayhaps
your
aendi
wouldn't mind if I finished reading it with you.” The suggestion,
a rare moment of attention bestowed upon them, caused the boys to nod their heads
eagerly. She patted the stool next to the rocking chair, indicated little Cris should
sit there, and opened her arms for Walter to sit upon her lap.

Despite her burning curiosity over the contents of the letter, when Anna stood to
excuse herself, she couldn't help but notice the satisfied smile upon her brother-in-law's
face as he listened to his wife reading to their children. Mary's voice became animated
when she read the lines of King Darius calling for Daniel. Setting aside her prejudices
about their individual flaws, she suddenly saw them for what they truly were: a family.
The realization caused her a moment's pause as she watched them, the boys enjoying
their mother's undivided attention on a dreary and lazy Sunday evening.

Quietly Anna excused herself, the envelope clutched in her hands. She had recognized
the handwriting on the envelope as Freman's. Needing to read the letter alone, she
sought the solace of her small bedroom upstairs.

Anna,

With a firm resolve to remain silent no longer, I have decided that the written word
must suffice to carry my voice to your eyes.

Eight years have passed since my hopes were dashed and my heart broken upon learning
that the disapproval of certain members of your family would keep us apart.

I made clear my intentions for finding a bride when I returned to Holmes County just
a few weeks past. Yet, I fear that my intention may have been misunderstood, perhaps
even by myself.

Do you not see, Anna? Even after all these years, it is you that drives my every
waking moment!

You, and you alone, brought me back to Holmes County—something I realized almost
immediately upon setting my eyes on you once again and hearing your sweet voice.

How is it possible that, when a creature so giving and godly pierces a man
'
s soul,
his affections could fail to be deciphered by the intended recipient?

Tell me that I am not too late and that your feelings are not gone. Once again I
offer myself to you with a heart even more hopeful than when I first presented my
intentions.

A word, a look
. . .
that is all that I need from you this evening. Into your hands
I entrust my heart. I pray that you grant me the honor of proving my worth, both
to you and to those who have, in the past, persuaded you otherwise.

With God
'
s blessing, I shall remain very truly yours,

Freman Whittmore

Chapter Twenty

A
NNA?
”

At first, so lost in her thoughts, Anna did not hear Willis behind her, saying her
name.

She was standing in the back of the gathering room at the Troyers' house, feeling
awkward among so many young people. Earlier that afternoon, she had decided to go
to the singing that evening, hoping to ward off Willis's attention in the optimistic
hope that she might find Freman there. Having just arrived, her eyes scanned the
gathering, seeking him out. After a few long minutes she finally spotted him on
the other side of the room, detained by Bishop Troyer. She lingered nearby, hoping
to catch his eye, but Freman seemed focused on whatever the bishop was saying. It
didn't surprise her; Freman loved to talk about Scripture and how to live out his
faith. It was one of the traits she favored in him.

After her initial reading of the letter, she had spent a good hour in her bedroom.
It took her that long to compose herself, knowing that she dare not return downstairs
until she could conduct herself in a manner so as not to draw attention to the change
in her demeanor. Without doubt, Mary would recognize how unnerved
Anna had become,
and in all likelihood, she would inquire as to the cause.

Anna knew it was better to remain isolated in her room than to expose her emotions.

While she sat on her bed, that precious single sheet of paper held between her two
hands, her eyes reread each line. She savored everything about it: the words, the
handwriting, the crisp white paper. Most importantly she felt the power of the heartfelt
message intended to convince her, at last, that she had been mistaken, oh so very
mistaken, in presuming the object of his affection.

Freman loved her and no other.

The world dissolving around her, she replayed the events of the past few weeks. Freman
had returned so unexpectedly and made it clear that he sought a wife. Perhaps, in
the beginning, he thought to find another, to repay the pain she had inflicted upon
him in their youth. But soon he must have realized that her past rejection of him
had been innocent in nature and true to a character that sought only to please. Torn
between the wishes of her father and Freman's desire to marry her, she had defaulted
to what she had always done, pleasing her family even at the expense of her own—and
Freman's—happiness.

The events from the past weeks began to replay in her mind, her recollection of what
she perceived as happening colliding with what she now understood so clearly. Contrary
to what she and perhaps so many others believed, Freman's frequent visits to the
Mussers' house had not been to court either Leah or Hannah; they had been a disguise
for catching a glimpse of another: Anna.

While his presence at the farm had caused her endless grief and regret, his hope
of seeing her had motivated him to make those trips from Charm to Sugarcreek.

Memories initially perceived as trivial suddenly took on a new meaning. It hadn't
been a strange coincidence when Freman entered Mary's house, claiming to seek the
Mussers' daughters when he rescued her from a rambunctious Walter. Nor had it been
mere chivalry when he insisted upon her riding home in the carriage with the Coblentzes
after that walk up the hill. She even began to second-guess the true reason behind
the invitation to Lancaster, for according to his words, his interest lay not in
courting Leah but in finding a way to reach Anna.

He loved
her
.