Secret Fire (24 page)

“
G
rigori, isn’t that Prince Dimitri just coming in?” Tatiana asked as they waltzed across the dance floor.

Grigori Lysenko stiffened, turning Tatiana around so that he could face the entryway. “So it is,” he replied tightly. “I suppose you will no longer be available, now that Alexandrov is back?”

“Whyever would you say that?” She smiled up at him innocently.

“You haven’t accepted my proposal, my dear. It is the general consensus that you have only been waiting for Alexandrov to return.”

“Is it?” Tatiana frowned, unaware of this.

“But it is too bad of him not to have sought you out until now, when everyone knows he has been in Moscow for a week,” Grigori added deliberately.

Tatiana set her teeth. She didn’t need to be reminded of that, which she
was
aware of. Her own sister had pointed out that Dimitri’s obvious lack of eagerness to see her was rather insulting. Tatiana had been furious. And now Grigori said much the same thing.

“It has been wondered if he hasn’t changed his mind about offering for you.”

“So what if he has? Do you think I really care?”

But she did care. She cared too much. All she had wanted was to have Dimitri exclusively to
herself for a while, and she could count on that only during their courtship. Once they were married, he was bound to lose interest, bound to go his own way, as every other husband did. There would be other women who would claim more of her husband’s time than she would, for she would be the woman he had already won, safely stored away at home to visit or not as he chose, while the excitement of the chase would be elsewhere.

It didn’t occur to her that she could make his life so interesting at home that he wouldn’t think to wander. Tatiana was of the opinion that all men were alike, a general misconception shared by most women. She was also quite selfish when it came to her own needs, and had thought nothing of Dimitri’s frustration while she had played him along.

Now she wasn’t so sure her strategy had been at all wise. Was it too much to ask to have Dimitri’s complete attention for a few months? Had she made him wait too long? If he was no longer interested, she would be made to look a fool, whereas before she had been the envy of every woman in Russia.

It couldn’t be borne. To have people whispering behind her back, pitying her, or worse, thinking she had got no more than she deserved. Everyone knew Dimitri had asked her to marry him, she had made sure of that. Everyone knew she had made him wait for her answer. They wouldn’t blame him for withdrawing his proposal. She had kept him dangling for months. It would be her fault, all her fault.

Of course she had Grigori here, and half a dozen other admirers to fall back on, all of whom
professed to love her madly. But that wouldn’t be any consolation if Dimitri no longer wanted her.

Tatiana waited, waited for Dimitri to notice her, waited for him to cut in on her dance with Grigori. He didn’t come forward. He did notice her and nodded in her direction, but went right on conversing with Prince Dashkov and several other men who had greeted him when he came in.

As soon as the dance ended, Tatiana leaned closer to her partner to whisper, “Grigori, would you take me over to him?”

“You ask too much, Princess.” Grigori could no longer conceal his disappointment. “I am not a graceful loser.”

“Please, Grigori. I think you will be pleased with what I have to say to him.”

He stared at her for a moment, noting her anxiety, her heightened color, and also the determined gleam in her eyes. She was so ethereal in her loveliness. He had set out to win her in order to steal her from Alexandrov, but had made the mistake of falling in love with her in the bargain. What could she tell his rival that would please him? Or was she just using him? He had to know one way or the other.

Nodding curtly, he took her elbow and led her over to the group of men who parted and drifted away when they saw who she was, all except Alexandrov’s closest chum, Dashkov. He just stood there grinning, not trying in the least to conceal his interest in this reunion.

“Mitya, how good it is to see you again.” Tatiana smiled up at Dimitri.

“Tatiana. Lovely as ever, I see,” Dimitri replied, accepting her proffered hand and brushing a light kiss against the knuckles.

She waited, waited again for him to make some indication, to say something, anything, that would tell her he still wanted to marry her. He said nothing, not an apology for not seeking her out sooner, not that he had missed her, not that he was delighted to see her, nothing. He left her no choice.

“I believe you know Count Grigori, my fiancé.”

“Fiancé?” Dimitri repeated, one brow raising the tiniest bit.

Tatiana moved closer to Grigori, who had the sense to put his arm about her waist, confirming this surprising news. “Yes, I do hope you aren’t too disappointed, Mitya. But when you left so suddenly, sending me that short little missive saying you didn’t know when you would be back, what was I to think? A lady can’t be expected to wait forever.”

Dimitri nearly choked on that one, but didn’t want to insult the lady. “Then I must simply congratulate you both, I suppose.”

He offered his hand to Grigori, the gentlemanly thing to do under the circumstances, but the man couldn’t resist saying, “Too bad, Alexandrov. The best man won, eh?”

“If you think so, Lysenko.”

That was all, Tatiana realized. No anger, no jealousy. She had done the right thing. He wouldn’t have asked her to marry him again. She had lost him before he had even returned to Russia. But this way, she wasn’t made to look a fool. She had prevented that, even if it was by
committing herself to a man she didn’t love. Then again, she could always get out of that commitment later.

“I’m so glad you understand, Mitya” were Tatiana’s last words before dragging Grigori away.

“You know you could have prevented that, don’t you?” Vasili said from beside Dimitri, his voice heavy with disgust.

“You think so?”

“Come off it, Mitya. She stood right there and waited for some sign of affection from you. You know damn well she hadn’t accepted his proposal before that very moment. You saw the look of surprise on his face. It was as much news to him as it was to you.”

“So it was.”

Vasili grabbed Dimitri and turned him so that they were face to face. “I don’t believe it. You’re relieved, aren’t you?”

“As a matter of fact, my shoulders do feel much lighter.” Dimitri grinned.

“I don’t believe this,” Vasili repeated. “Six months ago, you tell me that she is the woman you are going to marry before the year is out, that you’ll have your heir by next year. Nothing was going to stop you, you said. You made an all-out campaign to win her and became enraged because you couldn’t pin her down to an answer. In fact you were in a constant rage over her vacillation. Am I right or am I wrong?”

“You needn’t labor the point, Vasya.”

“Then would you mind telling me why you’re so delighted she has thrown you over? And don’t you dare tell me it has anything to do with that wench you’re pining over. Marriage has nothing to do with love. Tatiana was a most suitable
match for you. You didn’t have to love her. Sweet Christ, she is the most beautiful woman in Russia! She could have a pea for a brain and still be desirable. And her bloodline is impeccable. She was perfect for you. Your aunt thought so too.”

“Enough, Vasya. You’re acting as if
you
have just lost her.”

“Well, damn it all, if you had to get yourself married, I wanted you to have the best. I thought that was your intention as well. Or is it no longer imperative that you marry and produce an heir? Have you heard something about Misha, that perhaps—”

“Don’t tell me you’re still hoping for the impossible. Misha’s dead, Vasya. It’s been too long to hope otherwise. And no, nothing has changed. I still need a wife. I just don’t need this one. To tell you the truth, the reason I was dragging my feet about resuming this courtship was I couldn’t see myself starting all over again, having to go through months of evasion and procrastination again just to get a simple answer, and being expected to dance attendance on the lady while she kept me waiting. I have better things to do than waste my time like that.”

“But—”

“Vasya! If you think she’s such a prize,
you
marry her. Personally, I find I don’t want to be tied down to a woman who doesn’t know her own mind. I have discovered how refreshing forthrightness can be.”

“Your English wench again?” Vasili sneered, only to gasp, “You’re not thinking—”

“No, I haven’t lost my reason, though I can’t deny I wouldn’t mind being tied down to her.”
Dimitri grinned, before sighing, “But there are plenty of other suitable women available, ones who won’t hesitate with an answer, so I can get this business over with. Any suggestions?”

“None that you wouldn’t find some fault with, I’m sure.”

“Perhaps Natalia can recommend someone. She’s an incorrigible matchmaker, so keeps abreast of such things.”

“Wonderful. A mistress choosing a wife,” Vasili said dryly.

“I thought it was rather a brilliant idea.” Dimitri chuckled. “After all, Natalia knows my likes and dislikes very well, so she wouldn’t suggest anyone that I won’t get along with. She can make this chore much easier for me.”

“You don’t even know where she is at this time of year,” Vasili pointed out.

“So I will just have to track her down. Really, Vasya, I would like this matter over, but I’m not in
that
much of a hurry. I do have other things to keep me occupied in the meantime.”

When Dimitri returned home, there was another letter waiting for him, this one from his sister…and not at all welcome.

What promise? He had never promised he would be quick to approve her choice of husband. But if he didn’t, no doubt the minx would
find a way to marry without his approval. What was her rush?

Damn, just when he thought he had arranged everything perfectly to give him more time with Katherine before he must send her home, or at least offer to send her home. The more he thought about it, the more he wished he could come up with an adequate reason to keep her here longer. He was fine at coming up with reasons to put off another courtship. Why couldn’t he think of something that would prevent Katherine sailing out of his life?

“
M
y lady?” Marusia stuck her head in at the door. “A messenger has finally come from the Prince. We are to leave immediately to join him in the city.”

“Moscow?”

“No, St. Petersburg.”

“Do come in, Marusia, and close the door. You’re letting in a draft,” Katherine said, pulling her shawl closer about her shoulders. “Now, why St. Petersburg? I thought Dimitri was still in Moscow?”

“No, not for some time. He has been to Austria on business and has only just returned.”

Typical, Katherine thought. Why should she be told he had left the country? Why should she be told anything? He just stuck her in the country for months and forgot about her.

“Has the Tzar returned at last? Is that why we go to St. Petersburg?”

“I don’t know, my lady. The messenger just said we were to hurry.”

“Why? Blast it, Marusia, I’m not budging until I know what to expect,” Katherine said irritably.

“I imagine that if the Tzar has returned and the Prince plans to send you home, it would have to be done soon, before the Neva freezes and closes the harbor.”

“Oh.” Katherine slumped back in her chair by the fire. “Yes, that would explain the hurry,” she added quietly.

Where did that leave her? Arriving home with a stomach ballooned with pregnancy and no husband to show for it. Not if she had anything to say about it. She couldn’t do that to her father. Disappear for half a year and then bring home an even worse scandal? No and no again.

She had planned to tell Dimitri about her condition when he returned to Novii Domik. She had planned to demand that he marry her. But it had been nearly three months since she had seen him. Summer had vanished quickly. Autumn was gone as well. She hadn’t planned to spend the winter in Russia, but she was
not
going home without a husband. If Dimitri thought he was going to stick her on a ship and have done with her, he was crazy.

“Very well, Marusia, I can be ready to leave tomorrow,” Katherine conceded. “But as for rushing, you can forget it. No more flying carriages for me, thank you, and you can tell your husband I said so.”

“We won’t be able to return as quickly as we got here anyway, my lady, now that the nights are longer.”

“That can’t be helped, but I was referring to the daytime traveling. No more than twenty or twenty-five miles a day. That should assure us a more comfortable ride.”

“But that will take twice as long.”

“I’m not going to argue about this, Marusia. That river can surely wait a few more days before it freezes over.” She hoped not, but then that was the whole point of delaying her arrival in St. Petersburg, that and making sure her baby wasn’t jostled about by the mad Russian drivers.

Dimitri had a fit when he got Vladimir’s message. Katherine insisted on traveling at a snail’s pace. They probably wouldn’t arrive for nearly a week yet. Damn, this was not supposed to happen.

His idea of stranding her in Russia because of the weather had had its drawbacks from the beginning, mainly that he would have to forego seeing her for several months, until winter arrived. But he had known that once summer ended, she would be constantly demanding to know when she could leave. So he had had to avoid her, to avoid her questions, to get through autumn and hope winter would come early this year.

Sitting it out in St. Petersburg had been a long and depressing wait, especially through the cold and damp of autumn. And he hadn’t even had a wedding to plan for his sister which could have kept him occupied. As soon as he arrived, she had informed him that
that
particular young man wouldn’t do after all. Dimitri had nothing to do but attend to normal business, which he had grossly neglected of late, the proof being in the account books Katherine had sent on to him, revealing not four companies nearing ruin but five. There were a few friends to visit, but most avoided the city in autumn as well as summer, and were only just returning now for the winter season. Natalia had finally shown up last week and had promised to give his problem of who to choose for a bride immediate thought, even if he didn’t care to think about it himself.

The most irritating, depressing, and outrageous thing about this time he had deliberately stayed away from Katherine was that he had re
mained celibate—he, who had never gone three nights without a woman when it wasn’t necessary. And it wasn’t necessary. There were women wherever he went who made it quite clear they were available. But they weren’t Katherine, and he was still in the throes of his obsession with his little English rose. Until he got her out of his system, no one else would do.

The very minute the ice started forming on the Neva, Dimitri sent for her. After all this time, he was madly impatient to see her again. So what did she do? She deliberately delayed her arrival! So like her. Anything to defy and aggravate him. Vladimir was so right. She had returned wholeheartedly to her normal contrariness. But that was certainly preferable to the silent contempt she had treated him to when they last parted. Anything was preferable to that.

So Dimitri waited again, but took advantage of the time to perfect the excuses he planned to offer Katherine for not getting her out of Russia in time. She was going to be furious, but he hoped it wouldn’t take her too long to accept the inevitable.

Katherine was thinking exactly the same thing as the carriages rolled along the one-hundred-foot-wide streets of St. Petersburg six days later. Dimitri was going to be furious with her, and rightly so, for missing her ship. The best way to get around his anger, she had found, was to attack on some different front. She had a store of grievances to choose from, all insignificant in light of her condition and what she now wanted, but all ready weapons she could make use of.

The vast openness of St. Petersburg was an amazing sight for someone used to the conges
tion of London. Katherine enjoyed her first real look at Russia’s window on the western world, for she hadn’t really seen anything on her whirlwind arrival here.

Everything was so monumental in this city of grandeur. The Winter Palace, a Russian baroque edifice of some four hundred rooms, was perhaps the most impressive sight, but there were so many palaces and other buildings of immense size, so many public squares. And the nearly three-mile-long Nevsky Prospeckt, the city’s main street, with its many stores and restaurants. She had a glimpse too of the Peter and Paul Fortress across the river, the prison where Peter the Great had sent his own son to his death.

The open-air market held the most interest for Katherine, distracting her enough to forget for a few moments her final destination. Great piles of frozen animals were brought here on sleds from all over the country. All manner of things frozen were used to preserve freshness for the cows, sheep, hogs and fowls, butter, eggs, fish.

And the delightful oddities. Bearded merchants in robelike caftans of drab colors next to their gaily dressed wives in brocaded smocks and tall, brightly colored headdresses that formed a shawl nearly touching the ground. Befurred Bashkirs. Turbaned Tartars. Holy men in their ankle-length tunics, with long, flowing beards. Katherine was able to distinguish some of the many different nationalities that comprised the Russian people.

Here were housewives carting away their purchases on little sleds, while street musicians in long coats and fur hats entertained them with a
gusli
or a
dudka
, and street vendors hawking
ka
lachi
, twisted loaves of bread made from the finest flour, tried to tempt them to part with a few more kopecks.

This was the Russia she had seen so little of, the people, the differences, the beauty of so many cultures that all blended together. Katherine made a mental note to have Dimitri bring her here when there would be time to see everything instead of just riding slowly past—but then she was reminded again of where she was going.

She could have recognized Dimitri’s palace as they drew near, but it wasn’t necessary to try. He was outside on the steps, which had been brushed clean of the falling snow, and at the carriage the moment it stopped, opening the door, reaching in to take her hand.

Katherine had been extremely nervous on this last leg of the journey as they neared the city. After all, she had been particularly unkind and unforgiving when they were last together, refusing to listen to anything Dimitri had to say, letting her hurt develop into one of the worst pouts she had ever indulged in. Now her nervousness brought her defenses to the surface. Not that she wasn’t stunned by the sight of him, so dazzling in his splendid Russian uniform that her heart was racing at double time. But she no longer had just herself to think of. Her senses might be devastated, but her mind was quite ready for battle.

He drew her forward and lifted her to the ground. “Welcome to St. Petersburg.”

“I’ve been here before, Dimitri.”

“Yes, but for too short a time.”

“You’re right. Being whisked through a place doesn’t give one time to appreciate it. My ar
rival, slow and leisurely as it was, was much more pleasant than my departure.”

“Am I to apologize for that too, when I have so much more to apologize for?”

“Oh? You don’t mean to tell me
you
have done something to apologize for? Not you, surely.”

“Katya, please. If you want to cut me up into little pieces, can it at least wait until we go inside? If you haven’t noticed, it’s snowing.”

How could she not notice when her eyes were fascinated watching each little white flake melt on his face? And why wasn’t he screaming at her for taking her sweet time in getting here? He seemed to be making an extreme effort to be pleasant, too pleasant, when she had been expecting the worst. Hadn’t the river frozen over yet? Was she too early after all?

“Of course, Dimitri, lead the way. I am at your disposal, as usual.”

Dimitri flinched at her tone. Katherine’s mood was worse than he had expected, and she hadn’t even been told she was stranded yet. What then could he expect when she learned of her new situation?

He took her elbow and ushered her up the steps. The large double doors opened as they reached them and closed immediately after they had stepped inside, opening again a moment later to admit Vladimir and the others carrying in some of the baggage, closing again immediately. This opening and closing of doors, as if she didn’t have hands of her own to do it, had annoyed Katherine before, but not since the cold arrived, for the quickness of the footmen certainly kept cold drafts down to a minimum.

Used to the quiet elegance of Novii Domik, Katherine was momentarily amazed by the opulence of Dimitri’s city residence. Polished parquet floors, wide marble stairs thickly carpeted, paintings in gilt frames, a mammoth chandelier of crystal suspended in the center of this enormous room, and this was just the entry hall.

Katherine said nothing, but waited until Dimitri led her into another overlarge room, the drawing room, scattered with furniture in marble, rosewood, and mahogany, the chairs and sofas upholstered in silk and velvet in muted shades of rose and gold, blending well with the Persian rugs.

A large fire was crackling in the hearth, surprisingly wanning the entire room. Katherine settled herself in a chair big enough only for one, a defensive move noted by Dimitri. Sitting, she untied the heavy cape Marusia had lent her and tossed it back over the chair. Nothing that Dimitri had bought her in England was fit for a Russian winter. That would quickly be rectified. Her winter wardrobe was ordered and nearly finished. A servant had already been instructed to take a dress to the dressmaker for adjustments to the measurements as soon as her luggage was unpacked.

“Would you care for a brandy to warm you?” Dimitri asked, taking the seat opposite her.

“Is that a Russian cure-all too?”

“Vodka is more appropriate here.”

“I’ve tried your vodka, thank you, and didn’t particularly care for it. I’ll have tea, if you don’t mind.”

Dimitri waved a hand, and Katherine glanced up to see one of two footmen standing by the door turn and leave the room.

“How nice,” she said tightly. “Now I get a chaperon. Rather late, don’t you think.”

Dimitri waved his hand again and the door closed, leaving them alone. “The servants are always so underfoot, after a while you don’t notice them.”

“Obviously I haven’t been here long enough then.” Katherine opened the door to what was on both their minds, but quickly, cowardly, closed it again. “So, Dimitri, how have you been?”

“I have missed you, Katya.”

That was
not
the turn the conversation was supposed to take. “Am I supposed to believe that, after you disappear for three months?”

“I had business—”

“Yes, in Austria,” she interrupted curtly. “I was told, but only after you sent for me. Before that, you could have been dead for all I knew.” Oh, God, her resentment over his long neglect was showing. She hadn’t meant him to know how much she had missed him too.

The tea arrived, obviously prepared ahead of time. Katherine was saved from making a further blunder and given time to get her thoughts back under control. She poured the tea herself, taking her time over the ritual. Brandy had been brought for Dimitri, but he didn’t touch it.

When Katherine remained quiet, sipping her tea, Dimitri realized she was done taking him to task for the moment. But he wanted the worst over.

“You were right, you know,” he said softly, drawing her eyes back to his. “I should have sent you word before I left for Austria. But as I said earlier, I have much to apologize for. I also should have left Austria sooner, but unfortunately the business took longer than I expected and… Katya, I’m sorry, but the harbor is now closed. There will be no sea travel from here until spring.”

“Then I can’t go home?”

He expected her to respond that the whole country couldn’t be closed off, and indeed it wasn’t. Dimitri had more lies ready to convince her that the open ports were not for her. Her simple question threw him, however.

“Why aren’t you upset?” he demanded.