Secret Lives Of Husbands And Wives (35 page)

“. . . Tammy was found in bed with him. Can you believe that? You can just imagine the—”

“Whoa—wait! What did you say? Tammy was in bed—with whom?”

“Why, Gerard Hardaway! Honey, haven’t you heard a word I’ve been saying?”

“But how . . . where . . .”

“Margot got some anonymous tip. Ha! With her reputation, I’m surprised anyone cared enough to let her in on it. Anyhow, turns out their little affair had been going on since at least Thanksgiving. It was caught on some videocam and streamed to Margot in an e-mail. They were using his doctor’s office for their little love trysts.” She shudders since she can’t frown. “Let me put it this way: that was some little surgical procedure he was doing on her!”

“Wow! I have been off the planet. So, does Charlie know now?”

“You betcha!
Big
brouhaha! And he called Bethany before Tammy had a chance to do it first. Talk about adding insult to injury.”

“I’ll say.” I’m so stunned, I can’t even think of moving. So Tammy found a more willing sperm donor! Wait until Harry hears this. . . .

“Okay, but it gets even better. Yesterday Isabelle saw Tammy at the drugstore buying—
get this
—an early home pregnancy test!” Brooke is so excited, she’s squeaking.

It’s giving me a headache. “If she’s preggers, I guess she’ll finally get the child she has always wanted.”

“Yeah, but the primary objective was to have it along with moneybags Charlie, remember? Not with a guy who’ll be paying his wife through the nose until his other kid turns twenty-one.” Disgusted,
Brooke shakes her head. “To think it all could have been done with a surrogate—
and
she’d have saved herself the extra pounds and the stretch marks.”

Both of Brooke’s sons were carried by other women, for just that reason. Appallingly, she’s always surprised that more women haven’t thought to do that.

So much for the idea that it’s the journey, not the destination.

I shake my head in wonder. “But if it was Charlie’s sperm that was the issue—”

“Hey, don’t think Tammy didn’t use that angle first! She tried to talk him into considering using another man’s sperm, but he was adamant that the kid had to have his genes. Well, I guess this was her way around it.” She grins wickedly. “That being said, Margot now considers
you
the board’s prodigal daughter. Besides, none of the rest of us have the desire, or apparently the talent, to take over from her. That’s why we’ve let her get away with all the tsuris she’s caused all these years. Hey, speak of the devil! There she is now, with Colleen and Isabelle. And she’s coming this way. So welcome back,
ma chérie
!”

I smile at my most unexpected guest and hold out my hand to greet her.

However, if Margot curtseys and kisses my ring, I will throw up for sure.

How will I break the news to her that I’m no longer interested in being her puppet president?

I won’t worry about that now. I’m just going to enjoy her groveling.

3:06 p.m.

The crowd is at its peak. The adults, plied with booze and appetizers, are loose and animated. The children, though, are getting antsy for the main event: the cutting of the cake for Olivia and Santa, then
opening gifts, both hers and whatever silliness Santa has in his bag for them.

The man hired to play Santa is surlier than I’d like. While he allows Olivia to sit on his lap as we serenade the two of them with a robust version of the birthday song, he actually blanches at the forkful of cake Olivia offers him after they blow out the candles. Turns out he’s vegan, and chocolate cake with seven-minute egg-white icing is not on his diet. Ted is the only one who thinks this is funny. He captures it all on his new Flip Ultra camcorder.

Olivia is having too much fun to let Bad Santa harsh her mellow, but the fact that he’s less than jolly has Temple a bit upset. She yanks on her mommy until DeeDee indulges her and picks her up. As Temple wraps her legs around her mother and clings to her neck for dear life, the collar on DeeDee’s crisp white blouse is yanked down on one side. I don’t think DeeDee likes this stranglehold, but there is nothing she can do but grin and bear it. In this crowd, she has no choice but to play the ever-indulgent mommy. In fact, she hasn’t even noticed that the top button on her blouse has come undone.

And that’s when I see it:
DeeDee is wearing my necklace.

Not the blue enamel heart-and-key necklace that was under the Christmas tree for me, but the double heart Tiffany necklace that wasn’t.

I try my hardest not to stare, but my eyes are drawn to it. So that my interest isn’t too obvious, I don’t look directly at her, but watch her reflection in the mirror over the sideboard.

If Ted did give it to her, that means only one thing: he is her lover.

As I cut cubes of cake and pass them forward, I try to fathom that idea, but I can’t. In the first place, they are total opposites. He is outgoing and flirtatious. She is cool and demure. What would be the attraction?

But of course, that’s it exactly. She provides the challenge Ted needs to be turned on, while Ted provides the naughty excitement her life was missing.

So that I don’t hyperventilate, or leap across the room and tear the necklace off her throat, I try to think of all the logical reasons why this simply can’t be true. In the first place, that necklace is mass-produced for Tiffany, and certainly DeeDee is no stranger to the shops in Palo Alto or, for that matter, along Union Square.

And then I hit on the most obvious reason of all for why it’s such a ludicrous premise:

Ted doesn’t have time for an affair.

Hell, he rarely has time for sex with me.

I laugh hysterically, not at the precious anecdote Colleen has just told me about little McGuyver, but at myself for even considering such nonsense about my husband and Harry’s ex.

And yet, out of the corner of my eye, I watch the two of them. When their paths cross, they are polite but distant.

I breathe easier. . . .

And then it hits me, why he is always too tired for sex with me:

Because he’s already having it with DeeDee.

I have to keep it together until the party is over and everyone has gone home. Then I’ll take the time I need to think this through.

Better yet, I’ll confront him with what I think I know.

And, of course, he will tell me I’m wrong.

And I can pretend I believe him.

In the meantime, I smile and circulate.

So does Max Karloff. Devoid of his cool blond arm charm, he goes off in search of new listing prey. Bev Bullworth has had plenty of time to watch him. In the past, she would have broken out in hives every time he pounced on a potential new listing—particularly if his target was one of her current clients—but tonight it seems she couldn’t care less. In fact, instead of doing her usual sales pitch on unsuspecting partygoers, she only has eyes for Cal.

Cal, too, seems relaxed, tanned, and happy. I walk over to refill their wineglasses. “Happy New Year, you two. Missed you at the
lighting of the tree. I take it you’ve been out of town?”

“My honey took the whole family to Cabo the week before Christmas.” Bev is beaming. “Have you heard? Cal’s just picked up a big new contract: Shriver Tectonics! Pete’s company is investing in Cal’s municipal satellite security system. Harry Wilder is putting the deal together.” Happiness agrees with Bev. “It’s a relief, let me tell you! Now we’ll have enough money to renovate the house the way I’ve always wanted.”

“Wow, that’s great. Very exciting!” Why didn’t Harry say something? I guess we’ve both had other things on our minds. “You’re quite a dynamo, Bev. Between working full-time and taking on a renovation—”

She laughs. “With Cal taking on more work, you won’t see my shingle out that often in the new year, Lyssa. I’ll be having too much fun tearing apart our kitchen.” She kisses her husband on the nose. “Cal convinced me to take it easy, when we were down in Cabo. It was like a second honeymoon—even with the kids there. It was Cal’s idea that we bring Jake along to keep them company. He read that in an article somewhere.” She puts her arm through her husband’s.
“Where did you see that, Cal? Wasn’t it in
Redbook
?”

I stare at Cal. If that’s the case, then Jake couldn’t have been doing the break-ins. . . .

So, Harry was telling the truth. It wasn’t Jake after all.

But why didn’t Harry just tell me Jake was with the Bullworths?

Because I didn’t give him time to.

Where is Harry, anyway?

Almost as if reading my mind, Cal puts his arm around me. “Speaking of Jake, I just saw Harry in the kitchen admiring your orchids.”

“The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with
a personality, but must live with a character.”

—Peter De Vries

4:10 p.m.

It’s in full bloom,” Harry says, staring at the candy cane amaryllis. He has his back to me, but he knows I’m here, watching him.

“I knew you’d come, friend.” In order to resist the urge to go to him, to hug his back, I stare at what’s left of Olivia’s cake.

“Lyssa, I wish I could be your friend, but I don’t think you’ll feel that way about me. Not after what I’m about to tell you.” When he turns around, I realize by the look on his face that what he has to say is breaking his heart. “DeeDee does have a lover—”

I take a deep breath. “Yes, I know. It’s Ted.”

Harry stares at me. “You do? But . . . how?”

“DeeDee is wearing a necklace I saw in a Tiffany box sitting on Ted’s desk—a surprise Christmas gift I thought was meant for me.” The tears start running down my face. “So, how did you find out about Ted?”

He searches my eyes. “DeeDee’s computer. Pete’s community database provided us with the raw data of telephone numbers, e-mail addresses, and DMV tags, and the SATCOM provided us with a way to track DeeDee. But we still had no clue as to whom she was communicating with, until she moved back into the house. Then we were
able to check her e-mails.”

“But once you moved out, you weren’t allowed to go back in—oh! The SATCOM system let you know whenever she left the vicinity, am I right?”

He nods. “She had the locks changed, but I used Jake’s new key. Before Cal went out of town, he linked the system to Pete’s computer and gave us a crash course on how to use it, so that we could keep up surveillance, in case we caught a break.”

Suddenly it hits me. “The break-ins! You were the ones who called in the pot house! And it was you who wore the Seals hat when you broke into my house.”

Harry nods. “Guilty as charged. We had a lot of hits and misses before DeeDee got the house back. At that point, we were down to just one or two possible men, one being Ted. I presumed he was a long shot, except that Olivia had mentioned to Temple that her father would be working late—again.” He picks up my hand when he sees my frown, and gives it a kiss. “Since I knew you’d be out with the kids for the tree lighting, we went in. And that’s how I learned that the messages were coming from Ted’s e-mail address or cell number.”

“Harry, what you did could have landed you in jail! Then you would never have gotten custody of Jake and Temple.” I’m tearing up at just the thought of this.

“We were monitoring the police too, so we had a heads-up there.”

“Still, that doesn’t make it right.”

He rolls his eyes. “You can spank me later.”

I laugh through my tears. “Won’t you be surprised if I take you up on that.”

“Tammy would, but you’re not the type.” His smile is wicked. “But, hey, it paid off one way: Tammy got caught with Gerard.”

“I just heard about it from Brooke.” I shake my head in wonder. “Congratulations! You actually scooped the biggest gossip in the
Heights.”

“I only wish I’d been there to see Margot’s face when she played that video.” Then his smile fades. “Lyssa, I just want you to know that I debated for the longest time whether to even tell you. I figured I’d take a lot of satisfaction from letting the wife of DeeDee’s lover know what he’s been up to. But that’s because I never figured it would be you. As your friend, I wanted to tell you. But as the man who loves you with all his heart, I knew just how devastated you’d be.” His eyes are dry and hollow. “Besides, I knew when you confronted Ted and when he realized he’d be losing you, he’d beg you to take him back. Lyssa, I know you well enough to believe you would have. And if that’s the case, I wouldn’t have lost you to Ted at all, because I never had you to begin with.”

He’s wrong.

My kiss tells him that, as does the way I stroke the back of his head, and how I wrap his hand in mine.

Ted and DeeDee. He had to have the one woman who was his biggest challenge. Anyone else would have been too easy.

I was too easy. What did Brooke say? Oh, yeah: scratch my belly and I’ll follow you anywhere. . . .

“Seriously, Harry, if you wanted Ted’s e-mail address, all you had to do was ask me what it was. I’d have given it to you.”

“I know. But it was more than likely he had one or more you didn’t even know about. Turns out that was the case. And, quite frankly, with you out caroling, I thought that, if he was her lover, I might luck out and catch them in the act.”

The idea that Ted and DeeDee might have been screwing just a few doors away—or, even worse, in my house—makes me angry. I have to see them, now, together, with my own eyes.

I walk out of the kitchen into the living room, where I last saw Ted—what, maybe twenty minutes ago? But he’s not there.

Neither is DeeDee.

Nor are they in the front yard. I push my way back into the house,
ignoring the laughs and chatter around me, the shouts that invite me over, because Ted isn’t there. I know I look like a madwoman as I run down into the playroom. Forget spin the bottle. The kids—Tanner, Jake, Laurel, Duke, Sabrina, and Natassia—are playing strip poker. Duke is the only one fully dressed. But of course: he is the statistician in the group, so he’s playing the odds. Smart boy.

“Everybody, get dressed! Upstairs with your parents, NOW!” The girls screech and grab for their clothes. Everyone scatters like leaves in a windstorm.