13
More Secrets
I
t was not until the next night that Purple finally came home. She looked flushed and happy, no doubt from tasting the elixir of love. After we greeted each other, she went to take a bath, and I headed to the kitchen. Soon we were noisily slurping spicy noodles and crunching stir-fried vegetables.
I said, “Sister Purple, you look happy.”
“Well, because I
am
happy.”
“You went to see him?”
Her face bloomed with a mischievous smile. “Spring Swallow, you must promise never to tell anyone about this; otherwise, I’ll tear your lips off!”
“Trust me, Sister Purple, my lips are sealed as tight as a coffin.”
She poked me playfully with her chopsticks. “Don’t joke about unlucky things.”
“Sorry. So how was it?” What I really wanted to ask was, how did
that thing
go?
Her face flushed as red as the chili in the noodles. “As good as it can get.”
Did she mean just meeting him, or
that thing,
or both?
“Hmmm . . .” I was chewing and thinking. “Why don’t you tell Aunty about this and maybe she’ll give you permission to leave and marry him?”
“It’s not that easy.” She sighed, putting down a bok choi that she’d just picked up.
“How come?”
“Because I know Aunty Peony. She took me in, has been housing and feeding me for almost six years. I owe her for all that and I don’t have any money. I can’t just walk away like going out to the market. But, of course, I could . . .”
She paused, but I’d guessed what was on her mind. “You plan to run away with him?”
She cast me a sharp look. “Shhh . . . no one should know.”
“I won’t tell, Sister Purple.”
She looked around as if there were a third person in the house. “Jiang and I have been thinking of this for a while, but I’ve been trying to get up the nerve. . . .”
She distractedly chewed her food, then suddenly blurted out, “Spring Swallow, you want to run away with us? To Peking?”
I was confounded by this unexpected offer. Of course I had thought of leaving, too, but had no answer to the countless questions that would whirr in my mind: Where to live? How to make a living? What would happen to the unfinished
Along the River
? I often felt oppressed by Aunty’s severity. We worked long hours to supply goods to Heavenly Phoenix but never saw any money except the pittance she doled out to us at the end of each month.
Despite Aunty Peony’s faults, now that I knew about her past life I felt some sympathy for her. She did teach us, even though she held back her best skills. But she’d never trusted us. She wouldn’t lend me her patterns to copy, no doubt assuming that I’d sell them. Or that someday I would try to go out on my own. Of course, she was right about that. But I still had much to learn; so even though Purple’s offer was tempting, I felt that I needed to stay with my teacher. I still hoped that someday she would pass on to me her imperial skills, especially the exquisite, double-sided embroidery.
Also, I really had no idea what I would do if I left. So I asked, “Sister Purple, why do you want me to leave with you?”
“Because we can help each other out, maybe even start our own embroidery shop.”
“What about Leilei?”
“I have a feeling that she’ll run away with her man soon. Anyway, I don’t want her with us. She’s a troublemaker.”
“Then what about poor Little Doll?”
“She’s so young, it’s better that she stay here with Aunty.”
It sounded like Purple had already thought everything out.
I asked, “You think Aunty Peony is really that bad to us?”
She thought for a long while. “Hmm . . . I wouldn’t say so. She’s had a hard life, so we shouldn’t expect too much from her.”
“What kind of hard life?” I asked, although I already knew some of the story.
She hesitated. “I don’t know if I should tell you.”
“I’ll nag you until you do.”
“Can you keep your mouth shut, Spring Swallow? Promise not to tell anyone, even your lover, when you have one.”
“Promise.”
“Swear by Guan Yin over there.”
I stood up, bowed to the statue, and swore in a loud, vehement tone that I would not ever tell anyone Purple’s secrets.
“You’re sure you mean it? I guess you do. You’ve never lied to me before.”
She leaned over toward me, and declared in a dramatic whisper, “When Aunty was young, she was an embroiderer in the Forbidden City!”
Of course I already knew not only this, but that she had been the emperor’s lover. But I thought I would get more out of Purple if I played dumb. Besides, I didn’t want any bad consequences from opening my mouth.
Had Purple also been inside Aunty’s secret chamber and read her diary? Should I confess that I had? But she’d told me she was afraid to sneak into our teacher’s room.
“Sister Purple,” I tried to sound calm, “how do you know this?”
I could not have been more shocked when I heard her say, “I got it from Aunty’s own mouth.”
“What?!”
“That was before Leilei and you came. I was alone with Aunty. Sometimes she would get in a horrible mood and start downing her plum wine. This night she drank even more than usual and was so drunk she could hardly stand up. I was going to go to my room to sleep, but she asked me to stay with her.
“Aunty started talking as if I were not in the room with her. She said, ‘I was the best—except my teacher Qiu Niang, who also worked in the palace.’ ”
I asked, “Qiu Niang?”
“Yes, the one Aunty asked about at the embroidery shop in Peking.”
“So what about Qiu Niang?”
“I’ll tell you later. Let me finish telling Aunty’s story first.”
Purple stopped to take a sip of tea, probably to soothe her nerves, and I did the same.
After setting her cup down with a clink, she went on. “Aunty Peony told me that the emperor . . . you’re sure you won’t tell anyone, Spring Swallow?”
I nodded vigorously. I had a pretty good idea what she was about to reveal, but I wanted to be sure.
“Anyway, she told me that the emperor was enamored with her, that she was very beautiful in that day. But, of course, the empress sensed this. She did not care about the other concubines, but because the emperor loved Aunty she went crazy with jealousy.”
I asked eagerly, “Sister Purple, Aunty really told you all this?”
“Yes, I think she’d never dared tell anyone, but she was so drunk she let it out.”
“Then what happened?”
Purple hesitated before she resumed. “Oh, Spring Swallow, I believe horrible things happened then. The empress ordered her to kill herself! Somehow she escaped, she didn’t tell me how.”
“She was lucky?”
“Of course, but she is more crafty than we think.”
I nodded.
“But I found out why she hides in this desolate place that is so boring.”
I had often wondered about this, but now it was not so boring to me, since I had met Shen Feng. But this was certainly not the moment to tell Purple about him.
She continued without waiting for me to respond. “They’re after her!” she announced melodramatically.
“Who—”
“I better look around.”
I assumed this was to be sure that Leilei had not chosen this moment to return. Purple opened the door, stepped out, and looked all around the house, before returning with a relieved expression.
“There are men from the Qing . . .”
“But there’s no more Qing dynasty.”
“That’s just it. They want to bring it back.”
I was puzzled by this, but, of course, had not much idea about politics—and didn’t want to.
“Aunty told me that when she escaped from the Forbidden City she was pregnant!”
I had known this, but had no idea where he might be buried. Or if he was really the son of the Son of Heaven.
“That’s why they are after her. There is a secret group that wants to restore the Qing dynasty—they know about her son and have been searching for him, to make him emperor.”
“But, Purple, why didn’t Aunty tell the empress that she was pregnant? Because of her dragon seed, the empress wouldn’t harm her and maybe even let her remain in the palace.”
Purple shook her head vehemently. “No, the empress would be more likely to kill her!”
“Why?!”
“If Aunty were out of the way, the empress could raise the son as her own.”
“What about the son? What happened to him?”
“Aunty would never tell me. She must have given him to another family—or maybe he died.”
“How sad.”
But what was really on my mind was whether, as Purple feared, Aunty was really being chased by those crazy, leftover Qing dynasty officials. Whether or not there was still a dragon seed who could reinstate their imperial glory. If they found Aunty, I was sure they would kill all of us. A panic seized me because I knew something that Purple didn’t—that Aunty had stolen many of the imperial treasures, and even had the emperor’s gown. If these men were so fanatically loyal to the Qing, they would kill her for this. The gown represented the emperor’s presence and power, so anyone who possessed it other than the Son of Heaven would be punished by death! I dared not say anything to Purple about the stolen gown because if word leaked out, it could be the end of us all.
The headache I’d had after reading the diary with all its terrible events was coming back.
Hoping for reassurance, I asked Purple, “Do you think they are really looking for her, even now?”
“Spring Swallow, that’s why I asked you to come with me and Jiang. Since I know Aunty’s story, I never feel safe here.”
“But those officials, or eunuchs, or whoever they are, should be very old by now, maybe even dead!”
“
Hai,
you really don’t understand, do you? First, I don’t think they’re
that
old. They are Manchus and very vengeful that their dynasty was overthrown. They want their power back, so they will do anything to restore the Qing and the imperial system. Aunty’s son is the only possible one who can occupy the throne.”
“But you think he’s dead?”
“I think he must be, but I don’t know for sure. And they don’t know.”
I leaned my throbbing head on my hands. I had been so curious about Aunty and now I wished I did not know what I knew.
I did not want to hear any more, but Purple had more to tell me. “You know about Qiu Niang?”
“You mean her teacher, the one on the altar next to Guan Yin?”
”Yes. They had a falling out. Qiu Niang taught Aunty everything. But then the emperor fell for Aunty and sent Qiu Niang out of the palace. I suspect Aunty manipulated the emperor into doing this and later felt guilty about it. That’s why now she makes offerings and makes us pay respect to her as our grand-teacher—to appease her ghost.”
“Then why did she ask about Qiu Niang when we were in Peking?”
“I believe Aunty is afraid she died after being sent away from the palace.”
“Did Aunty also tell you this?”
Purple sighed. “Ever since that night, Aunty has been cold to me—she never tells me anything anymore. I think because she spilled her secrets to me, she fears that I’ll report her to get a reward. But I would never betray my teacher.”
Purple rubbed her eyes. “All right, no more talking about inauspicious things. Let’s go to bed. If we are going to leave here, we need to get ready.”
My head throbbing on the pillow, I kept thinking about whether I should leave with Purple. She was my only friend, but what if we had a falling out and I ended up homeless. I might have a bright future living in the big city of Peking, but if it did not go well, Aunty would never take me back. And if it got back to her that I was doing embroidery in Peking, she would do her best to ruin me. Yet, I did not want to be stuck working for her for the rest of my life. But something else was pulling at me—Shen Feng, my mountain friend. Could I say good-bye when we had barely met?
Finally, I fell into a troubled sleep.