Secret Pleasures (45 page)

Read Secret Pleasures Online

Authors: Cheryl Howe

Ivy strode to Darien, took his hand
.
“I know you would have.”

“And that’s why I must marry Arianna.”

She tried to pull her hand away but he held it.

“Listen to me, Ivy
.
Please
.
Let me explain
.
I want nothing more than to be with you, but there is more at stake here
.
Maddox knows the truth and has sworn to prosecute Philip’s crime
.
The penalties can not only be carried out against his family, but my brother’s corpse.”

Ivy saw the pain in his eyes, the desperation
.
She let him draw her near, hold her tightly and caress her hair
.
Darien did not have to explain further
.
Ivy’s mother had
had
a sister who took her own life
.
Her mother had related in detail the shame and the sorrow of knowing her sister would never rest in peace
.
Ivy and her own sister never visited the country house
where
her mother
had grown
up the privileged daughter of a prosperous baron
.
Only in the months before her mother’s death had Ivy discovered why
.
When Darien relaxed against her, Ivy gripped his arms and set him away from her
.

“Not like this
.
Let’s sit in the kitchen
.
I fear whatever you have to say will be impossible to understand while I’m in your arms.”

“That was my intention.

He smiled a cockeyed grin that had Ivy hoping it might not be that bad
.
Surely Darien would not succumb to the earl’s pressure without a plan of his own that would turn them all on their ears.

She returned his smile and led him into the kitchen, pulled out a chair for him to sit, retrieved his favorite Irish whiskey and two crockery mugs
.
She poured small amounts for both of them, way less than Darien would normally be happy with
.
Ivy took a bracing sip
.
Darien did not touch his, which worried her all over again.

“So you must marry Arianna Maddox,” she said firmly, testing it out on her tongue
.
“And what of Melody and me?”

Darien picked up his cup and slugged back the whiskey, then set the cup on the table before he answered
.
“Maddox was the one who found Philip
.
He threatened to reveal that Philip hung himself unless the original marriage contract was fulfilled
.
But he had another motive, something he wishes not to be made public so he has been patient.

Darien refilled his glass
.
“And accommodating
.
He is willing to accept Melody as a legitimate child.”

Ivy blinked, not sure what he meant, not understanding any circumstance where that could be possible.

“Of Arianna’s
.
I think the girl will go through with it,” he said in a rush.

Ivy
stood
up abruptly, the wooden legs of her chair making a loud screech before it crashed to the stone floor of the kitchen.

“And what of me?

Ivy hated the selfish tone in her voice and even more to know that a situation such as this would have been a dream come true for Diana, Melody’s real mother
.
Ivy squeezed her eyes shut against the realization
.
She abruptly
turned
and strode to stare out the open back door
.
The enchanting grove and babbling brook had not altered in the least in the face of the collapse of Ivy’s world.

Darien came up behind her
.
Set his hands on her shoulders
.
She eased against the sheer comfort of his touch
.

He rested his chin on her shoulder and whispered in her ear
.
“I can give you so much
.
A house in London, a palatial estate in the country
.
I have been wanting to purchase a
larger
holding
with pastures and structures for breeding. And you will be the focus of everything in my life
.
I will do what I must to maintain the obligations of the earldom, but you and I will be the ones with the power
.
Every decision regarding Melody’s future will be yours
.
You will have the final say in everything from her education to who she marries.”

Darien’s laugh was strained
.
“Of course I will have to persuade you to let her choose for herself.

Darien’s breath grew heavy and hot as he kissed the side of her neck through the veil of her unbound hair
.

Ivy thrust herself into motion, breaking the intoxicating effect of his nearness
.
She
pulled away, then
strode into the center of the clearing
.
A mist from the brook made the air smell of humus and wet green leaves
.

She turned to face him
.
He
stood,
brac
ing
his arms against the door jamb, looking at her from pain-filled eyes.

“I cannot live under those conditions.” She took a deep breath to gather her strength but her throat closed
.
Her eyes filled with hot tears that rolled down her cheeks
.
Darien sprinted down the steps
.
She stretched out her hand to halt his progress
.
“Don’t come any further
.
I beg of you.

She choked out another breath
.
“My plans have not changed
.
I’m sailing to America.”

“Not with my daughter, you’re not.

She flinched at his harsh tone.

“It wouldn’t be safe for either of you
.
Traveling alone
.
And Melody is just gaining her strength.”

“The weather is perfect and I’ll have to wait for next summer if I don’t sail now
.
In a year, I’m sure I won’t be able to leave at all
.
Melody, of course, should stay with you and Arianna
.
It’s what her mother would have wanted.”

Darien balled his fists and breathed heavily through his nose
.
The old Darien would have blurted out his feeling without pause
.
His restraint frightened her more than his impulsiveness
.
He would not abandon his duty to his family or his daughter
.
Not even for her
.
Truth be told, she hadn’t for him, and the desecration of a loved one’s grave was not even at stake
.
At least now, he would understand why she had been forced to break their engagement
.
Too many innocent people would suffer otherwise.

“You are the only mother Melody knows,” he said calmly.

Ivy smiled through her tears
.
Yes, she was Melody’s mother now and that is why she knew what she must do
.
Perhaps she could justify another choice if either Darien or Arianna were vain, vapid aristocrats
.
Unfortunately, that was not the case
.
They would be wonderful parents to Melody
.
They would love her, nurture her
.
Allow her to be anything and everything she chose to be.

“Melody is too young to know the difference.

Ivy pushed her thoughts away
.
She could not continue
to remain
on her feet if she did not
.
“I’ll just say good-bye to Melody and be on my way,” Ivy said so quickly, she was sure her words were unintelligible
.
She gathered her skirts and did her best not to look like she was running toward the kitchen door.

Darien did not bother to turn when she passed him
.
His head was bent, his hand covering his eyes.

Ivy climbed the stairs two at a time but paused at the door to calm herself
.
She did not want Melody’s last memory of Ivy to be miserable
.
But of course, her temporary daughter wouldn’t remember Ivy at all, which was the beauty of the sacrifice.

Ivy walked toward the crib as if dragging herself to the gallows
.
If Ivy knew what was good for her, she would march directly to her bags and out the door
.
She could use the time to finalize the closing of her house in London while she secured her passage to America
.
How reasonable.

But the unreasonable called
to her nonetheless
.

Ivy gripped the sides of the crib
.
Melody slept like a genuine angel, a common sentimentality Ivy had gagged at in the past
.
She didn’t smell of soiled cloth or soured milk or strange baby smell, but of something sweet and on the verge of full bloom, the best Ivy would ever be
.
And the best she would ever do
.
She leaned forward and picked up her daughter
.
Kissed her cheek
.
Checked her diaper scented by a lavender and rosemary rinse, a recipe which Ivy had read in one of her beauty books
.
She must remember to write detailed instructions for Arianna
.
No need for all that trial and error
.

Ivy hugged Melody to her chest and allowed herself to forget for a brief few moments.

“How could you leave her?

Darien stood in the doorway
.
His eyes were red and dry but the unique, deep-set almond shape
of them
could not hide the fact he’d been crying.

“Even if I stayed, we could not be acquainted, my darling and I
.
I would not wish her to know that she should ever be content with a man who would disregard her mother and his wife so carelessly
.
For her to ever love either of us under those circumstances would be painful as well as confusing.”

“We are both doing what’s in our daughter’s best interest, though I don’t like it anymore than you
.
Hopefully someday Melody can understand that
.
I’m agreeing to marry Arianna not only for Philip, but for Melody
.
I want her to grow up at Westhaven House, knowing that the stone mansion will always shelter her.”

“Don’t you see that’s what I want, too
?

Ivy battled to keep the tears from her eyes and
the
pain from her voice.

Darien came to stand beside Ivy and patted Melody’s back to erase the beginnings of a frown
.

“My father kept a mistress
.
You knew that. I knew that
.
Everyone knew that
.
It’s how
it’s
done
.
I don’t think it changed our relationship in the least.”

Melody smiled at Darien,
as though
pleased
with his answer
.
Ivy’s heart twisted that she was the element that brought Melody a loving and devoted father
.

“You have a terrible relationship with your father, so that should tell you something.

Ivy stood tall and tried to be brave
.
“How it’s done is not good enough for our girl
.
You will have Melody
.
I will have a new life in America
.
Your penance is a vow to devote yourself exclusively to her
well-being
.
And for that I will forgive you for what you must do for your family.

Ivy’s calm voice surprised even herself
.
She would have years to grieve
.
“Melody’s bags are packed
.
I suppose it’s time for her to move into her new home.”

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