Maybe tell Sean how I felt when he punked me and didn't accept the homework I'd copied for him. Maybe him seeing more parts of me would get him open. Then he'd share more parts of him, like the truth about his dad.
I went to my desk and pulled my cell out of its charger. I was scared but I dialed Sean's cell anyway. It rang twice.
“Hello?”
“It's me,” I said. I swallowed, nervous. “Can you come downstairs?”
“Yeah. What up?” he said all calm.
My heart started beating fast and hard. “I have some stuff I need to get off my chest,” I said.
Sean didn't answer. Was he thinking he had some things he wanted to get off his chest with me? Or was he changing his mind about coming down? Me and him needed to talk. If he backed out now, I'd have to hype myself up all over again to tell him this stuff.
“Yeah,” Sean said, then paused. “I'll be down there in one minute.”
I got happy. All of a sudden, I remembered my mother saying, “Boys and men out here think they can't ever be sensitive because that's considered soft or gay. And if the next guy shows some gentle emotion, they say he's soft or gay.” What would Sean think when he was down here and I began telling him things? Would he see me as gay or soft for being raw with him? Whatever, I thought. Time to man up.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book happened thanks to the right people at the right time.
First, thank you to Charlotte Sheedy and Stacey Barney for an amazing ride. Charlotte, you knew which road to take. Stacey, you had the road map to drive my first book to the finish line.
I'm forever grateful to E. R. Frank. E.R., you're real and our planet is better because of you. I deeply appreciate Mwezi Pugh for being one of my first readers. Your students are lucky to have you.
I can't thank my mother enough. Ma, you sacrificed so I had an excellent childhood, bright future, and wonderful “right now.” Your love of reading and writing made me love reading and writing. You set high goals for me while knocking down low expectations others had for me. You taught me that my free mind mixed with motivation can do the impossible.
To my mother's mother, Milagros, you were true to your name; and a miracle for me. You made space for my childhood drawings, and that grew into my painting pictures with words.
A big shout-out to my sisters, nieces, and nephews for your realness and support. Thanks also to my in-laws for showing me that family is more than who you're born with.
For my wife and daughter, I love you. To my wife, you've helped keep alive the fire that my mother lit in my heart and fanned it to grow. To my daughter, you're incredibleâa little me plus more. You both are part of the everyday net that catches me, comforts me, and boosts me to new and greater heights.
Thank you to my Red Hook Community and my extended Red Hook family. Thanks to all my supporters from P.S. 15, J.H.S. 142, M.S. 88, Midwood High School, and Vassar College.