Secret Worlds (202 page)

Amaia screwed up her face. “No, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then what?”

Amaia’s eyes bore into Meg’s. “He died on the exact same day of his life that I killed him. That can’t be coincidence. Judging by the age he looked at the tavern, I’m guessing he died on the same day during that life as well.”

“How do you know it has anything to do with you? Perhaps you killing him on that day was his destiny. For all you know, he has been reincarnating for centuries, and you simply played a part in that particular life. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been something else.”

“I don’t know, Meg. I feel in my core that this has to do with me killing him. When he’s alive, I can’t stay away. Even when I don’t see him, his eyes flash before me. I’ll be going about my business and suddenly they’ll be there. Sometimes they’re alive and vibrant, others they’re glassy and vacant like they were after I killed him.” Amaia shook her head back and forth, trying to dislodge the image.

Meg sat up and took hold of Amaia’s arm. “Amaia, you must stop this. It’s out of hand. This level of obsession isn’t healthy. The hold he has on you, it almost sounds like you’re on the verge of mating with a human. You’ve got to put an end to it. Don’t go to him the next time he’s reborn.”

The fierce earnestness in Meg’s expression startled Amaia. She rose to sit eye to eye with her. “Don’t you think I want to stop? I don’t know if I can.”

“You have to. This whole thing is spooky. You’ll go mad. You’ve never seen a mad vampire. It isn’t a pretty sight. I doubt Zenas would let you live.”

Amaia shivered. “I’ll try, Meg. I just don’t know if I’ll have the strength to stay away. When he’s alive, his energy calls to me, far stronger than blood or even killing does.”

“You don’t have to do this alone, Amaia. Let me help you. Stop keeping secrets from me. When you feel weak or like you’re going to give in, talk to me. I’ll do everything I can for you. You should know that.”

Amaia smiled. There wasn’t a trace of falseness in Meg’s words. “I do know it. I’m sorry I kept it from you for this long. I should have trusted that you’d know what to do. I just didn’t know how to explain it when I don’t even understand it myself.”

“I know. But even if you don’t understand, we’ll unravel it together.”

“Thank you. I promise I’ll try to resist. I’ll let you know what’s going on when he returns.”

“That’s all I ask.”

They sat together. Meg clasped Amaia’s hand for several minutes. The air changed speed, and a new scent drifted past Amaia. “It’s almost time.”

Amaia watched as a single snowflake drifted down from the clouds that quickly filled the sky. Every bit of light reflected off the sharp points. It was a pattern of ice needles, temporarily fierce before the harsh ground and snow obliterated its delicate figure. So much beauty in the world that was hidden from mortal sight. It was as if the world were made for her kind—the undead. Nature was wasted on mortals. Michael could return for a thousand lifetimes, but he would never see the full magnificence of a simple snowflake. How plain she must look to his human sight. He would never see the detail of his own eyes staring back at him in the mirror, as intricate as any snowflake.

She would try to keep her word to Meg, but without Michael’s pull, those promises were easy to make. There was time before he would be born again, precious time that Amaia could use to gather her own fierce needles to guard herself against his influence.

Milan, September 1673, 8 months later

“What is it?” Meg’s voice pierced Amaia’s thoughts.

The energy was soft, like a whisper, but present. There was no denying that it was Michael.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Meg’s hand covered Amaia’s. They perched with Liam on a ledge halfway up the Holy Mary of Grace church. Amaia had been people-watching when the energy touched her consciousness. Meg must have noticed some change that prompted her to lower her book.

“Yes.” Amaia couldn’t say more. Her body welcomed the familiar touch of energy. It made her feel as if she had been missing it all along, as if she hadn’t been whole and didn’t even realize it.

“I can kill him for you.” Liam whittled something Amaia couldn’t see. “If you can’t bring yourself to, I’ll do it for you.”

Liam’s offer touched Amaia. So often, he seemed to tolerate Amaia’s presence for Meg’s sake. “No, that’s all right. I don’t think it would solve anything.”

“There’s no shame in not being able to do it yourself. I wouldn’t think less of you.” Liam made eye contact, assuring Amaia of the sincerity of his words.

There shouldn’t have been any reason why Amaia couldn’t kill him herself. He was a human. Killing him should have been natural. If it came down to it, though, she knew she couldn’t take his life again. “Thanks, Liam. I just really don’t think it would help matters.”

Liam shrugged and returned to his carving.

“What are you going to do?” Meg was really asking if Amaia would uphold her promise.

His pull tempted her to surrender. How would Michael look this time? It was a silly thought. He would be a baby. What interest did she have in a baby? There was no reason to run off and see him. None at all. “I’m not going to him, Meg. I made a promise.”

Meg grinned and patted her hand. “Good. You’re doing the right thing, Amaia. I know it’s hard, but if you need me, I’m here.”

She’d made a promise, and she would strive to keep it. Besides, she could always change her mind later. She had no need to break her word to Meg today.

Kiev, May 1691, 17 years, 8 months later

“Zenas has an assignment for us.” Lawrence stood in front of the fireplace, speaking to Amaia aloud out of respect for Liam and Meg.

“What kind of assignment?” Even though they were always subject to Zenas’s command, they could go years without a specific assignment. He had too many children and had been alive too long to micromanage. When life was measured in centuries, giving orders every few years seemed frequent enough.

“Some of Ezekial’s clan in the Far East encroach on our territories. At first, they were simply a nuisance, but now their squabbles with our clan threaten to expose us to the humans. He wants us to travel to Lhasa and take care of the problem.” Ezekial’s clan wasn’t as keen on subtlety as Zenas’s. At times, Zenas and the leaders of smaller clans were all that stood in the way of Ezekial attempting to conquer the human race. There were some, like Ezekial, who thought humans should be treated as cattle. Others believed it was best for all involved for vampires to remain in the realm of myth. At the moment, Amaia didn’t care either way.

“Lhasa?” Amaia felt her energy vibrate as her emotions built, threatening to start her hands trembling. “But that’s so far away. Surely there’s someone closer he can send.”

Meg shot her a sharp glance, and Lawrence narrowed his eyes. “It’s not our place to question his orders, my dear. He wants us: me for my loyalty and you for your ability to blend in with humans. You’re the best we have.”

“Won’t we make even more of a spectacle? We’re clearly foreigners.”

“Exactly. We’ll stand out, but we’ll be able to blend in as humans. The local vampires aren’t able to handle the problem. If he sends anyone else, they will draw the same amount of attention but won’t be able to withstand as much scrutiny as we can. You should feel flattered that Zenas trusts you with such an important task.”

Lawrence was right, of course, but Lhasa was so far away. Much too far to make side trips to see Michael. If she were to go, she would forfeit any opportunity to see him. For the last seventeen and a half years, she had resisted the impulse to go to him by telling herself she could always go tomorrow. Zenas was stealing her tomorrows.

“I’m honored he would select me. I just wonder if I can live up to his and your expectations.”

“You’ll be fine, my dear. Trust me. I would never set you up to fail.” Lawrence gave her one of his warm smiles that made her feel everything would be all right. She wondered how he would look if he knew the truth behind her reluctance.

“What about you two? Will you join us?” Lawrence turned to Meg and Liam.

“Naturally. We’re with Amaia.” Meg’s voice was firm, and Amaia was grateful for that. If she was going to make it through this transition without betraying her secret, she would need the support of her best friend.

“Fine. It might be best if you travel as our servants to keep you from having to blend in as well.”

Liam and Meg didn’t have a lot of interest in blending in. They didn’t have much need as it usually wasn’t an issue, but they would attract attention as foreigners. Amaia saw the wisdom in Lawrence’s plan.

“Hmph. I don’t mind putting up appearances, but don’t expect us to bow and scrape to you. That’s where I draw the line.” Liam’s voice was gruff as he crossed his arms over his chest. His pride was one of the things Amaia admired in him.

“I wouldn’t dream of insulting you like that, Liam.” Lawrence reassured him. However, Amaia knew Lawrence had no qualms about insulting anyone if it served his purpose.

“We understand, Lawrence. We wouldn’t do anything to endanger you or Amaia.” Meg was always the calm voice of reason.

“We’ll leave in two days. That will give Amaia time to fulfill a few engagements that I’d rather not cancel. If you’ll excuse me, I need to cancel the rest of her appointments and make some preparations for our journey.” Lawrence nodded farewell and left the room.

“How are you handling the news?” The concern in Meg’s eyes comforted Amaia.

“I don’t know if I can do it.”

Liam unfolded his arms and stepped forward. “What do you mean, you don’t know if you can do it? Zenas will kill you if you disobey, especially when he finds out why.” His tone gave away just how ludicrous he thought Amaia was.

“Don’t you think I know that?”

“Then what’s the problem? You’ve done fine without seeing him this long.”

“Only because I knew I could always change my mind and see him tomorrow. I’m not going to have that anymore. I don’t know if I can give it up.”

“Well you’re going to have to.”

“Liam, it’s not that easy.” Meg reproached her lover.

“Imagine being forced to stay away from Meg.” It was the only way Amaia thought he might understand.

“Meg and I are a mated pair. Don’t compare us to this. He’s a mortal. Are you suggesting that you’re mated with a mortal? Because if you are, then you might as well be dead already. I don’t think even Lawrence would tolerate that.”

Amaia shook her head. “No, don’t be silly. I don’t love him. I killed him. I just can’t describe the hold he has over me.”

“It will be all right, Amaia. You’ll make it through this. We won’t let you fail.” Meg rubbed tiny circles atop Amaia’s hand. Tension melted away.

“Thank you. Just make sure I don’t go to him. If I go once, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop.”

Kiev, May 1691

Amaia closed her eyes as she fucked one of her last clients before leaving Kiev. Undulating her hips on top of him, she felt his already strong energy surging. For some reason, sex was more exhilarating with the strong ones. Perhaps if they got back from Lhasa in time, Lawrence would want to use the man for breeding.

This was what Amaia loved. When she was in the throes of sex, she could lose herself in the millions of nerve endings screaming out their pleasure with no time or energy to devote to anything else.

Amaia threw her head back, letting her hair cascade down her shoulders, making a pleasant sight for the man below her. Being on top allowed her the control to take her orgasms at will. She had yet to find a man who could satisfy her purely on his own skill. It was part professional hazard, part negligent incompetence in men.

The white light of her orgasm flashed before her, followed immediately by a pair of gray eyes. They were warm and inviting, calling her to him. If she followed the pull she felt deep in her core, it would lead her to those gray eyes. Amaia groaned and fell beside the heaving and satisfied man.

“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, Halyna. God, I’ve never felt this way before.” His round head, with its too-small chin and too-large jaw, turned to face Amaia. Small, brown eyes sunk deep behind full cheeks covered in black stubble that matched his hair in both color and unkemptness.

“It will wear off, trust me.” Amaia was ready to be done. She had no need to give this man her regular performance. There was no chance of repeat business.

“No, it won’t, Halyna. I must see you again.”

“I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.” All Amaia could see were those gray eyes. She needed to escape this simpering man.

“Spend tomorrow with me.”

“I can’t. I’m already booked.” Usually, reminding a man of the nature of her work dampened his enthusiasm.

“So cancel.” He was going to be one of those.

“Aren’t you done yet?"

“Yes. This one’s a talker. May I kill him?"

Lawrence chuckled.

“Please?"

“How was his energy? Honestly."

Amaia sighed.
“Strong. If we paired him with a good woman, their offspring would probably be gifted."

“Then no, you may not kill him. But as a reward for your honesty, and seeing as we’re leaving soon anyway, you may kill someone on your way home tonight."

“Please, say we can spend tomorrow together.” The plaintive note in his voice was hardly attractive.

“No, I’m sorry. I must be leaving now.” Amaia moved to rise from the bed, but the man snatched her hand and tugged her back. Overpowering him wouldn’t be wise, so she allowed herself to be pulled back to the bed.

“Just a little while longer.” The man leaned forward and took her lips into his.

Amaia broke free and kissed his neck. Lawrence had said she couldn’t kill him, but he’d said nothing about feeding. Amaia lowered her fangs and gently pricked his neck. It wasn’t as satisfying as her kill was sure to be, but she needed to get the man to sleep so she could leave. She sucked lightly, no more than a lover might do, and soon she had taken enough blood that the man laid back, drowsiness overcoming him.