Secret Worlds (90 page)

Despite what I would like to believe, I'm not free on this trip either. I need Silvia to lead the leash. 

I have no idea how my father lived this way for decades. There is only one escape from the bleakness.

The figurative dagger of disobedience rams into my head. Pain splinters through my skull, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

My hand goes for the phone in my pocket. As I think of seeing Syd again, the pain in my head fades. 

I dial her number.

When she answers, I say, “Talk to me, sexy.”

She does, whispering in my ear as my eyes grow heavy. She sounds happy that I called. And I can't think of a better reason to want to keep trying.

***

Silvia and I leave Oklahoma City around ten in the morning. Breakfast is McDonald's, the only drive-thru my sovereign guest deems worthy of consumption. 

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I glance at Silvia, then decide to ignore the call.

She looks at me. “I think I hear your phone, Dimitri.”

I grind my teeth and pull out the phone. Missed call from Syd.

I text one-handed that I'm driving and can't talk, then place the phone on my lap.

Silvia eyes the phone before speaking. “Who was that?”

Only three people call me. One is occupying space in my car. Another is her father. The third is my dark little secret. 

“Wrong number,” I say.

Silvia studies me before turning back to the window.

***

A little after nine that night, we reach Nashville. The scenery has changed to tall green plants and large blue bodies of water, the antithesis of the desert. I am too tired to appreciate it. Silvia is dragging her feet and acting a lot less spirited too.

We try to check into two rooms—Silvia doesn't even bat an eye at the suggestion this time—but the hotel is booked up. I can either share a room with the Exorcist, or drive to another hotel. I refuse to climb back into that car without a slumber to rival the dead first.

I wave my hand to proceed, expecting a reflection-of-Satan smile to glimmer on Silvia's face. Instead, her eyes droop and she fumbles to pocket her credit card.

We stumble to our rooms, drop the bags, and each fall face-first into a bed. Sometime in the night, I wake up to strip down to boxers and crawl under the covers. 

In the morning, my muscles are stiff and sore. I need a hot shower and strong coffee. I also need for this trip to be over. Unfortunately, I have to do all this in reverse after we find Doctor Kerr. 

I would love to just dump the car, and Silvia, and fly home. I doubt that would go over well with Karl, though.

The bathroom sink is running. I turn to my side, joints aching. Silvia is missing from bed. She must be washing up.

I doze back off. When my eyes open again, the bathroom sink is still running. I sit up and squint, ruffling my hair. 

The sound isn't running water. It's splashing.

What the hell is she doing? Ridiculous woman.

I fall back against my pillows and fade toward sleep. Then my eyes pop open again. Something is wrong.

I pull to my feet and stumble toward the bathroom door. 

I knock. “Silvia?”

She says, “Hang on, Dimitri.”

The sound never ceases. I swear it's splashing.

I reach for the knob. It's unlocked. I push it open.

Silvia is standing at the bathroom vanity, fist around a black rag submerged in the filled sink. Wet black rags at her feet.

She stares at me, horror-struck.

“What are you—” I still. Then my stomach heaves a little. “Oh, good god, Silvia.” 

I shove her away from the sink. 

She stumbles back into the wall, still gaping at me. I gaze down at the rags on the floor.

Not rags. Puppies. Kittens. I don't know what they are, but they're not alive anymore.

One is limp in the plugged sink.

I can't formulate a coherent sentence to say. 

Did Silvia really just drown a litter of animals in the hotel bathroom?

“We gotta get out of here,” I say. “Put them in a bag, and we'll toss them.”

I walk away before I can hear myself speak. Before I fully comprehend what just happened.

***

I dump the plastic bag of soggy dead furry things in a ditch, fill the gas tank, then floor it toward Danville, Virginia. If we weren't already so close, I would turn around. I can only hope Doctor Kerr makes this trip worthwhile. I can't imagine anything she can say that will make me feel it was, though. Not anymore.

I have now seen first-hand what sort of mental health case Silvia is, and that does nothing for my enthusiasm about our future arrangement. 

Karl is about money. His daughter is something else entirely. And I have no idea what.

I blast the radio. We drive straight through all eight hours. Silvia never asks to stop, and it's for the best. I'm hard-pressed not to shove her out of the moving vehicle as it is. Leaving her at a convenience store wouldn't make me even break a sweat.

Danville is a small, humid town but with rich scenery. I would appreciate it more if my mind wasn't still flashing with Silvia's failed swimming lessons.

Even though the sun is just starting to set, I have no desire to show up at Patricia Kerr's door. I haven't even showered in nearly two days.

I still don't have a clue what to do with Silvia. I'm concerned if I turn away for a few minutes, she'll submerge something else. Maybe a child. Nothing seems beyond her.

I book the hotel room on my credit card—well, Ralf's credit card—because I really couldn't give a fuck what Karl thinks right now. He knows I'm here with Silvia, so it doesn't matter whose card we use. I don't want anything that has touched her claws.

Key cards in hand, I storm to the car, grab my own bag and wait as she struggles with two of hers. Then I nod toward the hotel and fall behind her as she unlocks the door.

I sling my bag onto one of the beds and turn to Silvia. 

“Sit.” I point at the other bed. “Sit there and do not move.”

She drops to the mattress, feet planted on the floor, and stares at me. I bet that's how she looked at those kittens before she snatched them up for their eternal bath.

I unpack clean clothes from my bag and head for the shower.

“I don't see what the big deal is,” Silvia says.

She hasn't spoken since Nashville, nearly ten hours ago. I was hoping she had forgotten how.

I face her, eyes narrowed.

Her gaze meets mine. “Explain yourself.”

I snap straight. “Explain myself? I have to explain myself? I think you're a little fuckin' confused on what happened. Let me recap. You drowned a litter of kittens in the hotel sink. Drowned. A litter. Of Kittens.”

She flutters her eyes. “You kill all the time.”

My jaw drops.

“Because I have to!” I growl. “What part of this whole thing don't you get? Your father orders the kills, not me!”

She shrugs. “You would do it, anyway.”

I want to scream at her. But when I speak, my voice is surprisingly even.

“No, I wouldn't. If I could have anything, Silvia, it would be to not have to obey another command again.”

I head into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. If she's smart, she won't speak to me for a long time.

I had been wrong about her. Completely wrong. I'm not just the boy she grew up with. 

I'm everything she can't wait to experience: travel, sex, and gratuitous killing.

***

When I wake in the morning, Silvia is still asleep in her bed. Thankfully. I pick up my phone from the nightstand and check my text messages.

Syd had left one around midnight, but I must have been out cold. I tap the icon.

I don't mean to sound needy, but are you going to be home soon?

I give a weak smile and type,
Didn't see your message last night. You can be needy all you want. Just arrived in Virginia. I'll be home as soon as I can.

She replies,
Sorry, had a rough night. It's good now.

I resent the fact that she needed me, and I wasn't even in the same state. Instead, I'm stuck on a road trip with Bathory. I'm sick of everything. As soon as we meet Patricia Kerr, I'm flying back to Phoenix. Screw the car. And screw Silvia.

I use my phone to find the nearest airport and give them a call. Twenty minutes later, I have two tickets booked for the morning. 

Silvia stirs.

“Get up,” I snap. “We have to meet with Patricia then drive to Greensboro.”

“What's Greensboro?” Her reply is muffled by her pillow.

I lean down to slip on my shoes. “Even commoners have access to maps. Why don't you try getting one?”

She sits up and stares at me with those creepy eyes of hers. Then she stands and undresses from her pajamas and puts on her day clothes. Unabashed. Ignoring that I'm in the same room.

I have a feeling it's not meant to be sexual. I've been demoted back to the household pet.

As soon as she dresses, we gather our things and head outside. The morning is cool, the sky overcast. The air is crisper than in Phoenix. Danville is a great little place. I still can't wait to leave.

We load our bags into the car in silence, then hit the road. I punch in Patricia's address. Ten minutes away. 

The neighborhoods are old but kept. The buildings have bright paint or red brick, and everyone has a small, green lawn. A clean river cuts through the town.

Patricia's house is long and white with black shutters. The yard has patches of grass. Low key. She's definitely hiding something.

Silvia follows me to the front porch. Wrought iron trellis is holding up the canopy. A bench swing sits to one side. 

I knock on the screen door. Silvia reaches around me to ring the bell. The sound fills the interior, and then silence settles over us.

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I turn to survey the area. No vehicle. Patricia either doesn't live here, or she isn't home.

I knock again to be sure.

The door pulls open. A woman with short dark curls and a few deep lines in her face stares from the other side of the screen door. Her gaze travels from me to Silvia and then settles back on me.

“Can I help you?”

I don't recognize her, and Silvia gives no indication if she does.

I clear my throat. “I'm looking for Patricia Kerr.”

The woman sizes me up, slow and deliberate. She opens her mouth, then her eyes dart to the ogress at my side.

“Silvia Walker?” The woman's expression widens. She visibly swallows and takes a step back, though the screen door is still closed. Her voice is steady, but she isn't fooling anyone. “What do you want?”

“I came on my own accord, Miss Kerr.” Silvia doesn't sound at all like someone who intentionally over-Baptized fluffy kittens just days ago.

Patricia's head snaps back to me. 

“It's you,” she says, as if formulating the thought as she speaks. “It was you, wasn't it?”

Then she's crying like she found Jesus, except her eyes are fixed on me. 

I have no idea what to do. Silvia just stands there, but she's rarely any help.

“You were at the mansion.” Patricia looks at me with a strange, wild expression. The surprise and fear has been replaced by an emotion I don't understand. And she's still crying. “We passed each other in the halls. Several times.”

I have no idea what I did, but I've obviously left an impression on the woman.

“I never knew it was you.” She pulls her eyes from me and turns to Silvia. “Did Karl send him to … ”

“No, Miss Kerr,” Silvia says.

That's when I realize Doctor Patricia Kerr knows exactly who—and what—I am.

She hesitates, and then leans forward to unlatch the screen door and steps back. 

“Come in.” She struggles to regain some composure though her throat is tight. “Come in, please.”

She borders on excitement. It's like I should be offering her an autograph or something.

My life gets weirder every day. And that's saying a lot, considering I kill people because of a hum in my head.

Patricia looks back at Silvia. “How does it work?” 

“Daddy has to order it.” Silvia perks up. “Then he goes all crazy.”

Thanks, wench.

“But no magic.” Patricia looks me over, her brow pinched.

Silvia shakes her head. “He's clever, though.”

“I even learned to speak.” My tone is sharp. “You could ask me the questions.”

Patricia looks startled. Then she smiles and gestures into the living room. The room is rectangular, with closed in walls, wood floors, and a low ceiling. An arched doorway leads to the kitchen and another leads to a hallway. 

Silvia strides past me and takes her place in a vintage chair at the far end of the room. Somehow, it's like she's at the head of the table.

I drop onto the couch, my aching muscles grateful. This road trip is brutal.

Patricia hesitates, like she's not sure how to handle me being in her house. “Would you like something … to drink?” 

I tilt my head. “Just the tears of children.” 

Silvia shoots me a dirty look. “Water for us, please, Miss Kerr.”

Patricia nods and disappears through the arched doorway into the kitchen.

“This wasn't meant to be a tea party, Silv.” I can't hide my irritation, and I don't want to. Everyone knows more about me than I do.

She rolls her eyes and flips her hair off her shoulder. 

Patricia returns with two glasses of water and passes them to me and the shrew. Then she takes a seat on the couch opposite of me.

“You probably want to ask why we're here,” I say to get the ball rolling.

Patricia looks between us, eyebrows arched. The question must have slipped her mind. To be fair, she thought I was going to kill her so that probably took priority.

“Silvia and I figured you would know why Karl donated one and a half million dollars to a hospital.

Patricia's mouth pulls into a frown on one side. “That … was the payoff.”

“Now we're getting somewhere.” I settle back against the couch. “What was he paying off?”

She sighs and meets my gaze.

“Karl and I … disagreed. He paid off the hospital to file false reports so my license would be revoked.” Her frown deepens. “It worked, of course.”