Secretly Craving You (11 page)

"Not like that." His pained expression surprised her. He left the room, closing the door behind.

What did he mean? And where was he going? He was so obviously aroused.

Was he insane? No way was she letting him do
that
and just walk out.

She pulled on her robe and jogged down the stairs to the living room, then to the bedroom where he was staying. The room was empty, but the door to the bathroom was closed. He was again going to masturbate in the shower, as he had last night, wasn't he?

No, she wasn't letting him do that alone again.

She pressed her ear to the door and heard the shower running. Since the lock was broken, she silently pushed the door open. Nick stood in the shower, his head hung beneath the spray that drenched his hair and turned it darker. He flung his hair back and let the spray hit his face. Grasping his erection in one hand, he slowly stroked.

After slipping off her robe, she opened the glass shower door.

Startled, he faced her with a scowl. "What the hell are you doing in here? I locked the door."

She shook her head and let her gaze travel down his wet, sculpted body. "Lock's broken."

His jaw clenched tight and his glare remained in place.

"Why do you always leave me?" she asked. "Why won't you—"

"I can't," he growled. "Don't you understand?" His dark, tormented tone surprised her.

She searched his troubled gaze. "No. Why can't you?"

He let out a harsh breath. "I just can't."

"Please tell me why."

"Because of Jared," he finally said. "He was my only brother, and I can't betray his memory. He wouldn't want me to touch you."

She was startled speechless for a moment. "What? Who cares what Jared would want? We were divorced. And now he's gone. Besides, he never cared about me. You know that. He cheated on me with other women."

"Hell," Nick rasped, glancing away.

Naked, she stepped into the steamy shower and closed the door, almost overwhelmed by the intense emotion she witnessed on Nick's face. His honor and loyalty to his brother long after it was warranted touched her. Nick truly was a good man.

And though this might not lead to the relationship she was ashamed to admit she desperately yearned for with him, she wanted to show him how she felt, how much he meant to her. How much she craved him, in a way that went far beyond the physical. Though their connection had begun as a scorching attraction, that had only been a façade for what was rapidly growing inside her heart. Her crush was turning into something far deeper and more profound than she could've imagined.

But right now, she could think of nothing but tasting every inch of him and giving him intense pleasure. Stepping under the spray of the shower, she moved closer to his gorgeous, water-drenched body.

She slid her hand up his chest and around his neck into his dripping hair to draw his head down. His lips captured hers in a deep, fiery kiss that made her feel incredibly close and connected to him, but also lightheaded, her pulse speeding along. His scruffy beard shadow rasped against her chin.

His hands, caressing her ass, drew her tight against his substantial erection. She tingled inside with a powerful need for him. But first, she had to know how he would feel in her mouth, how he would taste. She pulled back, breaking the kiss, and knelt before him in the warm shower spray, ready and willing to worship his body just as he had hers.

"What are you doing?" he demanded in a low, rough tone. His frown might have intimidated some people, but she knew it meant he was powerfully affected.

"What I've wanted to do for a long time," she confessed. Gazing up at him through the steam from this angle, with his impressively jutting cock, his muscled body and his dark eyes, arousal flooded her.

"Emily, don't," he growled.

"Yes, I want to." She captured his granite cock in her hand where it stood upward. Wow, was he big. She had very little experience with oral sex, but she hungered for the masculine taste and hard length of Nick in her mouth. Holding his thick wet shaft, she licked the head. It was feverish and velvety, the solid feel of him incredible. Her pussy tingled.

Nick muttered a curse, his water-beaded abs jerked and his cock pulsated. His musky scent amplified her need. Drawing him inside her mouth, she swirled her tongue around the head, the tip of her tongue stroking behind the flared ridge. He tasted perfect, like clean virile male.

"Mmm, I want to eat you up," she murmured over the sound of streaming water, then took him to the back of her throat.

He clenched his jaw, groaning and gazing down at her in dark fascination. He brushed the wet hair back from her face and watched her.

With her hand, she stroked and squeezed his cock, and then sucked harder, devouring the head as she'd been longing to do. Her technique was probably not so great, but she didn't care. She wanted to taste him, lick every inch of him. In her other hand, she cradled his balls, drawn up tight against the base of his shaft.

"Emily." He groaned, a tremor passing through him. "Baby, that feels so damn good," he breathed.

"Mmm." Yes, he felt amazing to her. And the taste of his precum, salty and masculine, was so erotic she wanted more. She wanted to taste his cum—something she had never truly wanted from a man before, but now she found herself ravenous for him. She sucked with more pressure and gripped him tighter, her hand sliding up and down his smooth, wet shaft.

Moments later, he muttered a string of guttural curses she could barely understand. "I'm going to come."

Looking up into his eyes, almost closed in passion, water dripping down his face, she nodded. Yes, she wanted to make him come. This had been her fantasy for far too long. She wanted to experience everything about Nick…in real life, not just her wild imagination. And so far, real life had blown her fantasies out of the water.

"Em, if you don't move back, I'll come in your mouth," he warned, his teeth clenched, his muscles tight and flexed.

Withdrawing his cock, she flicked her tongue against the tip, teasing that little slit. "I want you to."

Pulling his cock deep into her mouth again, she sucked harder, stroked his shaft faster.

He released a loud groan combined with a shout and hot semen spewed into her mouth and spilled onto her breasts. She loved the taste of him, so erotic and delicious. His body quaked and shivered with the waning explosion of pleasure.

Taking her arms, he urged her upward and held her tight as he leaned against the granite tiled wall, breathing hard. "God, Em. I've never…" His heartbeat thumped against her ear.

Pulling back a couple of inches, she looked up into his heavy-lidded eyes, hoping she'd given him half the pleasure he'd given her earlier. "Never what?" she asked when he didn't finish his sentence. How she loved leaving him at a loss for words.

"Never came that hard before." The look he gave her was one she'd never seen from him—astonished, perhaps even awed. Had she been that good? And he was trying to hide a smile, which finally crept out. Had she made him happy? She hoped so. He held her tightly while she kissed his chest.

"I never expected something like that from innocent little Emily," he murmured in her ear.

"I'm not so innocent."

He pulled back, grinning, and grabbed the soap. "I noticed. Naughty little Emily fits you better." He lathered his hands, then washed her chin, neck, shoulders and breasts. He kept his attention on his task.

She didn't know what she expected from him afterward, but she needed an emotional intimacy she would probably never have. Instead, she forced herself to focus on their sexual connection—that was one thing she knew existed between them. And they still hadn't had actual sex yet. So far, all had been foreplay. Intensely pleasurable foreplay, but what would the real deal be like?

For a few minutes while he bathed her, head to toe, his cock was relaxed, but still large. Then she noticed it starting to grow firmer and jut out. Especially when he used his hand to wash between her legs. His wet, soapy fingers slid gently along her sex lips, making her want to grind against his hand.

"Mmm." He bent her leg and dragged it up to his hip, spreading her.

He leaned down and kissed her, then flicked his tongue against her lips. She teased it with her own tongue until he growled and sank his tongue possessively into her mouth. She almost drowned in the deep, thorough kiss.

Arousal bloomed throughout her body and she tingled where his fingers lightly traced and parted her tender sex lips, tempting her.

Jaw clenched hard, he groaned, removed his hand and lowered her leg.

No, don't stop, she wanted to tell him.

"Damn, you're amazing," he said.

Warmth spread through her at his words, and the affectionate look in his eyes. "No, you are." She kissed his chest, his neck and stroked her hand along his erection, which was growing harder by the minute.

With that hooded gaze, he observed her as if somehow she fascinated him. "I knew you were watching."

"What?" she asked.
Oh no!
Did he mean when she'd spied on him in the shower a couple of nights ago?

A little grin slipped out, making him look incredibly mischievous. "Three years ago, after your wedding. You watched Cassie and me in that hotel suite."

Emily straightened and pulled back, heat and mortification scorching her. "You knew?" How had he seen her? She thought she'd been hidden.

His grin widening devilishly, he drew her into his arms again, his hands circling her waist. "Yeah, I saw you. You naughty little voyeur." His hard cock twitched against her belly.

Realization dawned, searing her with excitement. "You wanted me to watch."

He shrugged. "If you wanted to. Hell, it turned me on, big time." His gaze grew darker, more serious and his voice lower and deeper. "I wanted to make you wet, even then."

"You did make me wet," she confessed. It was a secret she'd kept to herself for three years, but it felt good to finally tell him.

His raw honesty about wanting to turn her on and his commanding tone of possessiveness excited her. Even when she'd been married to his brother he'd wanted to arouse her? Though she should be disgusted or angry, she was actually breathless with disbelief and some fragile emotion she didn't know the name of.

Could she be falling in love with Nick?

What the hell had just happened? All Nick knew was that he'd experienced the most stunning, scorching orgasm of his life. To know he'd made her wet, while she'd been watching three years ago, made him crazy. His need for her was so much more than simple physical arousal; it possessed him, body, mind and soul.

Holding Emily under the warm shower spray, he wanted to tell her he'd fantasized he was having sex with her that night, three years ago, instead of Cassie. But now didn't seem like the best time. It wasn't something he was proud of. He had been curious about what she'd thought, and whether she'd gotten aroused by watching. Emily and Jared probably had sex on their wedding night, of course. He knew that, but he didn't like it. What he kept wondering was whether she had been thinking of Jared or Nick at the time.

He'd had no claim on her, yet jealousy stabbed at him, and guilt gored him. Damn. He'd always worried he'd somehow caused their divorce. But he couldn't have. He was miles away by then. And one little voyeurism session shouldn't cause a divorce.

Truth was Jared had destroyed their marriage because he'd been unfaithful. That was one thing Nick could never understand—why marry someone if you weren't absolutely certain you could be faithful? He wasn't the most traditional person, but he believed in keeping his word. A vow was a promise that should never be broken.

Nick hadn't visited Jared and Emily during their marriage, except for having a beer with Jared one day when he was in Savannah. By necessity, he'd kept away from Emily. She might see the truth in his eyes—that he craved her more than a junkie craved a drug.

But Emily, submissively on her knees before him moments ago, telling him exactly what she wanted to do to him…

Mmm, I want to eat you up.

When his cock had slid into her sweet mouth, and her plump, sensual lips stretched to accommodate his girth, she'd annihilated his self-control. Her tongue stroking, her teeth lightly scraping over the head of his cock had rocketed him toward orgasm so fast his head spun. That was a decadent, forbidden pleasure he'd never thought would happen with Emily.

A fantasy.

But no more. Now it was real, but he still couldn't believe it.

When she'd stared up into his eyes, showing him how turned on she was, how much she was eagerly enjoying going down on him, he'd lost it. He'd never be able to tell her how much that meant to him.

He turned off the shower, stepped out, then toweled her dry. He wanted to kiss and lick all her sweet spots, but restrained himself. He had to maintain control before he did something he would regret.

She retrieved another blue towel from the bar and brushed it over his wet skin.

"That feels good." He caught himself noticing the gentleness of her touch, attentive and caring. He had never noticed such things about a woman before. Usually, he didn't give a damn whether they were caring or simply horny.

But with Emily, he noticed a lot of things about her, like that happy sparkle in her eyes. The adorable way she bit her lip when she was unsure. The way her eyes widened and her skin flushed pink when he shocked her, or the way her pupils dilated and her lashes lowered when she was turned on. He enjoyed observing the many moods and expressions that crossed her face.

He shook his head, unable to believe he was naked with the woman of his fantasies. A woman who wasn't even supposed to be his type. A woman forbidden to him. And yet, she was so beautiful, his chest ached anytime he glimpsed her. That red-hot innocent gleam in her eyes was endlessly exciting.

He loved making her moan and scream in pleasure.

"I need to tell you something," she said.

"What?" He helped her slide her arms into her silky pink robe.

"I think that marble phallus has supernatural powers."

He frowned. "Why?"

"The times I've held it in my hands, I've felt more aroused than normal."

Unexpected lust spiked through him at her mention of being more aroused than normal, but he had to focus on the important issue. If the object was paranormal, that could explain its value and why someone would kill for it. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Do you want to try holding it and see if it works for you?"

He pulled on his jeans, carefully zipping them over his growing erection. "I don't need anything to make me any hornier than I already am. But I'll give it a try. If it has aphrodisiacal powers, that could make it far more sought after and valuable."

Trying to hide her naughty grin, she nodded and headed out the door. He lightly smacked her adorable ass beneath the robe, making her giggle, then followed her.

Upstairs in her bedroom, she removed the stone penis, still in the plastic bag, from the safe and brought it to him.

He held it in his hands, examining it as closely as he could through the plastic.

"Do you feel tingling warmth, starting in your hands and spreading through your body?" she asked.

Not feeling anything unusual, he shook his head. "No. Does it make you feel that way?" He handed it to her.

After a few seconds, she nodded, her lashes drifting lower over her darkening eyes. Damn, she looked hot.

He took the marble penis from her and held it, trying to feel what she was talking about. It just felt like a cold piece of stone to him. "Any arousal I feel right now is because I'm standing beside you," he said.

She came closer and rose onto her tiptoes to give him a kiss. He laid the artifact on the dresser and pulled her into his arms. Damn, how he loved holding her and kissing her. He lifted her and laid her gently on the bed, then stretched out beside her.

"Do you know how gorgeous and sexy you are right now?" he murmured against her lips.

"I could ask you the same thing, Nick," she said in a husky tone. The way she said his name made his stiff cock twitch with frissons of excitement.

Mmmm,
her soft lips were divine. He parted them with his tongue and delved inside. Her tongue teased and tangled with his. Then, she sucked at his tongue, reminding him of how she'd sucked his cock. He felt like a villain for corrupting innocent little Emily. But it couldn't be helped. She'd made it clear what she wanted to do in the shower.

Her fingers skittered down his stomach and rubbed against his cock through his jeans. Pleasure coiled through him, making him even harder.

"Naughty girl."

She nodded and licked at his lips. Arousal thundered through him. She could turn him into a wild man in ten seconds flat.

Capturing her exploring hand so he could think, he laced his fingers with hers. He didn't know what the hell he was doing with her. He only knew once he crossed that line there was no going back.

Guilt still gnawed at him, but that wasn't all. Never had sex represented such a weighty decision. Maybe because he'd wanted her for three long years, and now that burning lust had mushroomed into something profound that he could no longer understand. Was his mind playing tricks on him or was he falling hard for her? He didn't know. He only knew he had to be honest with her before they went any further.

"I have a confession to make," he said.

"What?"

"That night, three years ago, when you were watching…I was wishing that had been you with me. I know it makes me a bastard, but I was fantasizing about you, even then, on your wedding day while I was having sex with another woman. I know I'm twisted, but that's the truth. Hate me for it if you want."

Biting her lower lip, Emily shyly lifted her dark blue gaze to his. "Then we're both twisted," she whispered. "I was wishing I was in her place, too. I felt extremely guilty. I loved Jared—at least I thought I did—but I was so attracted to you, it was insane. I had to pretend it was nothing. I tried to tell myself that any woman would feel that way because you're so sexy and gorgeous, but it didn't help. Months later, when I found out Jared had been cheating, I was hurt, of course. But I was also afraid it was my fault."

Shaking his head, Nick frowned. Her words made his stomach ache. How was it possible they were experiencing similar things? The same want, need and guilt. "It wasn't your fault. He shouldn't have married you if he was only going to cheat on you and hurt you."

A small, sad smile lifted her lips. "Well, as you know, he married me for my name and my family. Connections. And his parents approved of me."

Nick snorted. That didn't surprise him. "He always did a lot of ass-kissing around them. Whatever they wanted him to do, he did, whether it was what he wanted or not."

"I noticed. Why did he do that?"

"Greed. He thought he'd inherit everything. None for black-sheep-Nick if Jared played his cards right, and if I kept annoying them."

"What did you do to annoy them?" Emily asked.

Hell, what didn't he do? They'd approved of very few of his actions and decisions from the time he was a kid. "I became a cop. They wanted me to be a lawyer."

"Why did you want to be a cop?"

He observed her for a long moment, wondering if she could understand. Not everyone did, but she deserved to know what drove him. And at the moment, he felt closer to her than he had to anyone in a long time.

"When I was seventeen, a good friend of mine died of a drug overdose," Nick said. "He'd only been using a couple of weeks. I tried to get him not to take any more, but he was already addicted to the hard stuff." Nick shook his head, remembering how powerless he'd felt when trying to help Donovan. "It was such a damned waste. I know it was his own fault, but I couldn't help but blame the bastard who was selling to him. That's when I made the decision to become a police officer. I wanted to stop the dealers from getting to the kids who were too young to make such big decisions and destroying their lives."

"Wow," she whispered, her eyes growing a bit misty. "I admire you more than I can say for that." She kissed his chest.

"Thanks." He hugged her to him and kissed the top of her head, grateful that she understood.

"I don't get why your parents aren't proud of you for the same reason."

Nick snorted. Jared had accepted his decision. His parents were a different story. Even now, there was a rift in their relationship because of it. One day he wanted to patch that up, if they were willing.

"Their disapproval of me goes all the way back to childhood. I got into trouble more than Jared, everything from accidentally breaking windows to crashing a car when I was sixteen." Nick shrugged. "I was a hell-raiser, pure and simple. They couldn't deal with that. I was supposed to be uptight Ivy League material."

Emily stroked his face, her caring fingers brushing across his stubble. With dark blue eyes, she gazed at him with intensity. "You may be a bad boy, but you're way better than Ivy League material." She kissed him, then pulled back.

He grinned, feeling her steal his soul little by little. Dammit, he was falling for her, and he didn't know how to climb back out of this pit of ensnaring need and hungry desire…or even if he wanted to. His heart pounded with excitement…and a little fear. In his job, he knew fear intimately, but he never let it stop him from doing what he had to do.

He kissed her palm. "When I first saw you, I thought, damn, she's so beautiful and classy. But that sparkle in your eye told me something else."

She lifted a brow, giving him a mischievous look. "What?"

"That you had a hidden wild side."

"Apparently, I do," she said, playful and breathy, trailing a hand down his abdomen. "You brought it out."

He loved knowing he was the one who inspired her naughty, sexual side. "What do you fantasize about?" Nick asked, wanting to understand and uncover everything about her.