Secretly Yours: A Christian Valentine's Day Romance (Riverbend Romance Novella Book 1) (8 page)

Lindsey, whisking the pot’s contents, glanced at him. “All right, I guess. The restaurant was pretty busy, but we kept up.”

“That’s good.” Why had she invited him in this time?

“Nick, I’m sorry about the—” She waved her free hand to indicate the near-empty container.

“I don’t keep coming by because there might be cupcakes,” he said softly, keeping his arms folded across his chest. “I come because there is something else here that is sweet.”

Her cheeks flushed as she whisked. “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment. I just wanted you to know I wouldn’t have invited you in if I’d known.”

“Then I’m glad you didn’t know.”
 

Lindsey turned the element down and shot a glance toward his mid-section. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“What?”

“You fluster me with the things you say.”

At least she noticed. “Flustering you isn’t my goal. Not in any way.”

“Then… what is?”

“Making sure you know you are treasured. Valued.” He wanted to say, “loved,” but thought better of it. The time was coming. Soon, he prayed. But not this minute.

“But why? What did I do to deserve this?”

Nick opened his mouth and shut it again. Her question was deeper. It wasn’t about him, whether she realized it or not. “Love isn’t something we deserve. Any of us. But God gave us an example. He loved us when we didn’t deserve it at all. When we were mean to Him and hurled our filth in His face. Still He gave us His greatest treasure, His only Son, because He loved us that much.”

Lindsey brushed against him as she stretched for mugs on a shelf. He lifted them down for her.

“We can’t do anything to pay God back for His salvation, to even the scale. We can only accept His gift with gratitude and bask in the warmth of His love.”

“I guess that’s why you’re a pastor.” She ladled steaming cocoa into the mugs then handed one to him.

He held her hand around the warmth of the mug. “I guess it is. God has done so much for me. I just have to share it. Help other people — the teens — turn their thoughts to God’s gift. Love is the greatest thing, Lindsey. God loves us with a passion we can only begin to imagine.”

Dare he mention the reference he’d scrawled into the devotional? It fit so well, this very minute. Nick lifted his free hand to her face, sweeping back the blond hair that obscured his view. “Imagine God as a guy with a guitar, sitting on the bank of the Sandon River in a meadow strewn with wildflowers, singing love songs to you. Love songs He wrote with you in mind.”

She looked up at him with wonder in her eyes. “But God loves everyone. Why should I think of myself as special that way?”

“Because you are.” His fingers cupped her cheek. “It’s a bit tricky taking on an allegory like that, because it always breaks down. The apostle Paul told men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He also said to be the husband of just one wife. To give himself for her. Everything on the line.”

Her lips were so close to his, it was all he could do not to duck his head a little and close that gap. But it wasn’t the time. He’d rushed her last week. He wouldn’t let it happen again.

~*~

Lindsey pushed the cocoa mug into his hand and took a step back. How could a man talk about God’s love like that and still make her feel singled out? Special? Not just as a Christian, but as a woman?

“Cocoa ready?” yelled Madison.

“Yes,” Lindsey called back. Her voice sounded unsteady.

“Ready or not, here I come.”

Nick chuckled. “She’s something else, isn’t she?”

Lindsey snuck a peek at his face as he took a sip of the cocoa. “Is it okay? Sweet enough? Hot enough?”

He grabbed her gaze and held it with all the power of an industrial-strength magnet. “It’s perfect.”

“I’ll take this to my room.” Madison lifted one of the remaining mugs. “I’m texting with Erica.”

“Didn’t you just spend all day with her?” teased Nick.

“Yeah, but she’s my best friend. We always have stuff to talk about.” She disappeared down the hallway, walking rather than sliding for once.

Probably eavesdropping and telling Erica all about it.

“Another facet of love,” Nick said softly. “Wanting to spend time together.”

She knew about that. Since the moonlit snowshoe the week before, she’d wanted nothing more than to be with Nick. But he scared her. Or maybe it was that she scared herself.

How could she trust love? God’s love, or her own? Look at her mom, who’d been married three times and never been happy. Was Lindsey doomed to the same fate?

She wasn’t going to let her mother dictate her view of love anymore. Nor Greg.

~*~

Lindsey sat on the edge of her bed and picked up the little devotional book.

Not Nick, either. For some reason she’d crammed everything she thought she knew about love in a tiny box. Then into the corners around it, she’d poured her own history and understanding of God’s love.

Maybe it was time to reverse that. No, even more radical. Completely throw away the box. Let God’s love be big. Be invasive. Let it soak into the fabric of her soul.

Just the thought felt like trickles of refreshing water into the dry cracks of her life. She’d been so busy holding things together, trying to cushion Madison from Greg, trying to be a nice, stable person, she’d forgotten the joy she’d once had in the Lord.

Lindsey turned to a random page in the little book and found a quote of Isaiah 61:10.
I am filled with joy and my soul vibrates with exuberant hope, because of the Eternal my God, for he has dressed me with the garment of salvation, wrapped me with the robe of righteousness. It’s as though I’m dressed for my wedding day in the very vest: a bridegroom’s garland and a bride’s jewels.

Exuberant hope. Joyful celebration.

Yes, she was ready to open herself to that kind of love. Where that would lead with Nick didn’t matter. Right now her soul craved to revel in the fact that God came in like a mighty champion to rescue her, a damsel in distress.

It was enough.

Chapter 14

Lindsey lived for moments like this. Outside the church kitchen, the banquet hall buzzed with murmured conversation and the clink of silverware. Several of the teens perched on high stools, playing a medley of songs on guitars. The room flickered with candlelight that glittered off gowns before being swallowed by the darkness of black suits and tuxes. The teen wait staff carried trays from table to table.

In here, florescent lights illuminated every work surface. The commercial dishwasher hummed incessantly as teens tried to stay ahead of the incoming plates.

Other helpers now busily plated cupcakes, half of them swirled in frothy pink clouds and half tailored with smooth chocolate frosting and crisp pink hearts. Lindsey drizzled a squirt of chocolate syrup over each plate before it went out.

She released a long breath as the last tray disappeared. They’d done it! Suddenly she was famished.

The three kids who’d been at her side since early afternoon collapsed against the counter. Lindsey raised her right hand and high-fived them each in turn. “You guys were awesome. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“It was fun!” Madison’s friend Erica announced. “Maybe someday I’ll be a chef.”

“You could be,” Lindsey assured her.

The music dwindled from the sound system and Nick’s voice came through. “Wasn’t that an amazing dinner?” he asked.

A smattering of applause came through the speaker.

The kids grinned at each other.

“I’d like to ask Chef Solberg and her staff to please come out of the kitchen.”

Oh, no, he wouldn’t. But he had. Lindsey motioned the teens through the door ahead of her. She blinked as a spotlight found them.

“Chef Lindsey Solberg is a Riverbend girl trained at Niagara Falls Culinary Institute. She was the premiere chef at Fresh Start in Castlebrook for several years and is now on staff at the Water Wheel here in Riverbend. Chef Lindsey donated her time to help our youth group raise funds for our missions trip to Mexico during spring break. Thank you so much, Chef Lindsey!”

This time the applause rocked the roof.

Nick listed her helpers before the spotlight turned off. Then he named the local farms and businesses that had offered deals or donations on food and decorations.
 

Lindsey heaved a sigh of relief. “Let’s get our dinner and sit here in the back for the drama presentation.”

The kids exchanged glances. “I’ll get the plates,” offered Erica. “Let me serve you.”

“Thanks.” It felt wrong, even though she was in charge. Even though her legs had turned to rubber after the rush. She sagged into a chair as Nick introduced Jared and the drama team. Madison had been very close-mouthed about their production. Some kind of fairy tale thing was all she’d said.

The illumination on Nick at the podium faded as the row of spotlights shone on the stage curtains, which slowly drew apart.

“May I join you?” whispered Nick.

“Um, sure.” Her heart warmed that he’d sought her out on this busy evening.

A moment later Erica set a plate of chicken cacciatore in front of her. “Did you eat?” the teen asked Nick as she sat down on the other side of him.

“I did. It was incredible.”

A few minutes ago Lindsey had been starving at the brink of death. Now, with Nick seated beside her, she wasn’t sure she could force down a single bite.

The curtains revealed a divided set with a darker raised portion on the right, evidently the inside of a room with a window to a bright wildflower meadow, trees painted on the backdrop.

Madison, wearing a wig of long braided hair, leaned out the window, her side to the audience. Rapunzel. A familiar enough fairy tale, even though the original was a long way from the Disney princess version.

Lindsey settled into her chair and toyed with her fork. This production would likely be distant from any previous adaptation she’d seen. Hadn’t Madison said something about this production being for credit for Jared’s college classes? Probably somewhere in this room his instructors watched, grading him on the finished play.

A parade of men in various costumes engaged the princess in her tower. Some begged her to come down with flowery poetry, while others tossed gifts. Madison waved, smiled, and shook her head as the lights very slowly illuminated the tower room. A narrow beam shone on her ankle, and a gasp came up from the audience as they noticed the ball and chain holding her in place. A cackle crackled through the sound system.

That illumination shone straight into Lindsey’s soul. This was where she’d been, smiling and waving and pretending everything was okay while being chained in place, unable to respond to love.

A young man knelt at the foot of the tower, head bowed, while the princess fumbled with the bindings on her ankle. Lindsey’s heart reached out for Madison. She knew exactly what it felt like, struggling to remove the bondage by herself. She’d battled for years, unable to free herself.

“I can’t believe this,” whispered Nick.

“What do you mean?”

“This is one of those things God had to orchestrate, you know?”

Her eyebrows pulled together as she tried to see him in the darkness. “I’m not following. You didn’t know what the drama team was going to do?”

“No clue.” He shook his head. “Jared kept avoiding my questions. Pastor Davis sat in on a practice and told me it was great, and not to worry.”

She still didn’t understand. Yes, it was uncanny how closely the unfolding story mirrored her life lately, but how could Nick know that? Let alone Jared. She’d only shared a little with Madison, and that in the past few days. Certainly not in enough time to affect the presentation.

The shaft of light narrowed on the ball and chain while Madison shielded her eyes from the brightness. The crowd gasped as the clasp clattered to the stage. Madison raised her hands and pirouetted around her little tower, no longer bound.

The guys with guitars found themselves in the spotlight again as they picked and strummed a song of praise. Free. Only at the end did Madison peer back out of the tower, hoist her skirts — thankfully leggings clad her legs — and jumped out of the window in front of the startled young man. They joined hands and ran off stage.

Lights dimmed and the curtains drew together as the audience erupted. Across the banquet hall, a hundred women and men stood to their feet and applauded the presentation.

Madison and her fellow cast members ran out from the side, holding hands. They bowed to the left and right, then scampered back offstage.

“Hard act to follow,” Nick murmured as the audience began to settle. “Pray for me?”

Lindsey’s eyes locked on his for a moment before her fingers twined around his. “You’ve got it.”

Nick’s gaze softened as he stood. After a moment he broke contact and strode for the microphone at the side of the stage.

“Today on Valentine’s Day we celebrate love. Usually we think of romantic love such as a man might have for a woman.”

Was he looking straight at her?

“But Jared and his team have reminded us that there is something bigger, something foundational, and that is God’s love for us. Embracing God’s love gives us a freedom in life that opens everything.”

He paused, looking over the audience before pointing at the now-empty tower. “The damsel in distress didn’t need a prince in shining armor to come rescue her. The Bible says that God is our champion, our defender. Not only that, but He joyfully celebrates His love with us and sings love songs to us.”

Had there been any doubt at all that Nick had been her secret admirer all along? Lindsey’s heart swelled with joy as he spoke the words of Zephaniah 3:17.

Across the darkened banquet hall, he alone stood in the light, and he was looking straight at her, though he couldn’t possibly see her.

“Have you danced with abandon before Jesus? Have you spread your arms wide and reveled in His love for you? If you haven’t, what are you waiting for? He’s there, ready to undo that ball and chain, to take you in His arms and give you the twirl of a lifetime.”

Nick turned to the wings. “This isn’t in the program, but I’d like to ask the guys to come back out with those guitars. Will you play
Free
again? And then I’ll close in prayer.”