“I’m sorry,” he added. “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.”
“It’s okay,” I mumbled to my feet. “It’s not your fault.”
“No, it’s yours,” David cut in. “Next time, think twice before eavesdropping.”
“I’m sorry.”
David exhaled, then gently laid his hand to my back. “Come on. I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”
“Goodnight, Amara,”
Arthur called.
“
Night,” I said sadly.
In the hall, David shut the door and his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. I wanted to apologise again, tell him I hadn’t meant to overhear them talking about that. But then, really, what had I meant to overhear?
“Can I be honest with you, Ara—without you getting upset?”
I nodded.
He checked over his shoulder then leaned in a little. “When I was away, supposedly dead, I did a lot of research. And I never really shared any of that with anyone—never really let them know what I was doing, but…”
“But?”
“But—” We started walking toward my room. “I followed your dad—for some time. There were things about him, Ara, habits and general mannerisms that had
always
made me suspicious.”
“What, like you thought he was a vampire?”
David nodded. “Always. Ever since he first shook my hand when I brought my previous school transcripts in for record keeping. But, he had a heartbeat and never drank blood, so I brushed it aside.”
“Until now.”
“Well, until I was researching your bloodline and came up flat.”
“And how did that change things?”
“Remember I told you I couldn't get a sample of his DNA?”
“Mm-hm.” I nodded.
“I lied, Ara. I
did
get a sample, but the results were unreadable. I thought maybe I’d botched it somehow or contaminated it, and I never ended up getting another. But, what if I didn’t mess it up? What if the results came back that way because he wasn’t human?”
“David—” I stepped back from him and opened my bedroom door. “Please don’t let this just be wishful thinking on your part. If—”
“Ara, I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't be telling you this unless I thought there was a very real possibility that the man who raised you as his own was, in fact, the original vampire. Think about it,” he added, shutting himself in the room with me. “Why would Vampirie, if he was hell-bent on protecting you, let anyone else raise you?”
“My dad left me with my mom.”
He bit his lip, wiping his thumb across his chin. “True. But, on the way home, you told me that Drake said Vampirie loved you—that he had watched over you your whole life. Can you think of any other man that fits the profile?”
“No, but if Vampirie’s my dad, then why did he die?”
“Sweetheart,” he said, taking my arm to move us away from the door. “Maybe he’s not dead. It was a closed-casket. There was no viewing—”
“Yes, because he didn’t want to be on display. He always said that.”
“I know. But maybe there was a good reason for that. And what about this?” He gently brushed the inner curve of my breast as he lifted my new talisman and showed it to me. “What if this is some kinda clue? Maybe Amara wasn’t his mother. Maybe he raised her as he raised Rose, one after another, becoming their son when they got too old to be his daughter.”
“Then where is he?” I shrugged, my eyes tearing over. “If he’s not dead, if he’s a vampire, where is he? And why did he have to die? Why did he do that to Sam and to Vicki?”
“Why did he leave your mother?”
“I
…”
“Ara, he may be doing what he has to to protect you. Maybe now, more than ever, he needs to become the vampire
—something he can’t be if he has a human life. Any vampire knows that. It’s one or the other.”
“But he ages. And he—”
“I don’t have all the answers. And I don’t want to give you false hope, either, but I know you’ll sit here all night and draw all of these conclusions on your own anyway.”
We both laughed lightly.
“I’d rather we talked about it—joined forces and tried to figure this out than to have you do it alone, because I know you will. And I know that uncovering these kinds of secrets is easier when you have a wingman.”
I wiped under my eye. “Why are you being so helpful, David?”
He relaxed back a little, studying me like I was hidden behind a wall of hesitation. “I never meant to be…” his eyes drifted to the place of thought, “—cruel to you, Ara. I guess I
did
mean to hurt you, but that’s not what I want now. I just want us to…”
“Get along?” I tried.
He nodded. “I know we both have wounds, but I need us to put those aside so we can unite and end this mess of contracts and ancient feuds once and for all. I’m
tired
of it. I just want to live.”
I smiled, my shoulders moving back to their natural position as I exhaled. “That sounds pretty good.”
“Good. And…”
I waited for end of that sentence, but he hesitated quite a bit longer. “And?”
“And I told Vicki I left our wedding album on the bus. She’s sending another—”
I didn’t hear the rest of what he said, because a giant sob burst out from my lips and into my hands, the gust obstructing all sound. “You got another one?”
He nodded, looking incredibly awkward. “I’m sorry I did that to you, Ara—especially just after you found out your dad was sick. I…”
“It's okay.” I reached up with my tear-moistened hand and patted his forearm. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I was a dick.”
I nodded. “Yeah, you were.”
“I was hurt,” he said, piercing the long silence that followed with, “And angry. And I … I saw you there, in that picture, and it brought back a mix of so many emotions, Ara—not just for the pain of what’s gone, of what I thought our future held on that day, but also for what happened next.”
I cringed, flashing back unwillingly to the agonising darkness of that torture chamber.
“It’s a black hole in my lifeline, you have to understand,” he said. “I
can't
go back there. Not to the wedding and not to what happened to you after. You don't know what I suffered while Jason was torturing you, and even though it was all a game—just Drake and his lies, I didn't know that
then
, and to think back on it … to see us so happy and so innocent, to see us
before
, it shattered me, Ara. And I lost control. And I
am
sorry.”
I looked up to meet his eyes but they were averted.
“I really did love you once,” he said simply, swallowing hard after. “And I failed you so many times I think I hate you more for that now than I hate myself.”
“You hate me because you feel like you failed me?” I asked with a hint of amusement.
He laughed. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Can you try?”
After a moment, he exhaled a long breath and looked at me with soft eyes. “It’s easier to hate you than to love you—than to be sorry. I can’t … I’m exhausted by the amount of guilt I carry for the many times I let you down—mistreated you, abused you—”
“You never
abused
me.”
“I did, Ara. Verbally, mentally, emotionally. I was controlling and…” He stopped, the corners of his lips arching downward as he regained control of his emotions. “I just need you to understand something about me.”
I tried not to cry for seeing him so broken, so remorseful after wanting it for so long, but a few tears slipped past my lashes anyway and I swiped them aside. “What’s that?”
He blew a breath into closed palms and walked away, taking a seat on the blanket box at the end of the bed. “This controlling, overbearing man I was when we were together, it’s not who I am. It’s who I
became
.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s because of Pepper. Because … what happened to her was my fault and if I’d had more control of her, it would never have happened.”
“What makes you think that?” I sat down beside him.
“She was only sixteen—”
“Sixteen!”
“She was a few weeks shy of seventeen when she was turned but, in vampire years, she was over forty. She wasn’t a baby, but she was still young.”
“I’ll say.”
David smiled at me. “I fell for her because of her innocence and naïvety. She was the kind of girl that really needed to be taken care of. And…”
“That was a perfect match.”
“Yeah.” He sat straight, rubbing his palms down his thighs. “But she was also hard to handle. I had to tell her what to do, where to go, even how to act. There was a certain etiquette expected from the girlfriend of a council leader, and Pepper didn’t fit that bill. She needed constant supervision.”
“You mean control?”
“I guess. Except, I didn’t wanna be that guy, so I tried to stand back and let her learn from her mistakes, but—”
“Wow, that doesn't sound like you.”
He shook his head slowly. “That’s because it’s that stupid, modern ideal that got her arrested.”
“How?”
“If I’d been there … I mean, she came to me. She asked about children, and I brushed it off. I was busy that day, and I just didn’t have the time to sit and talk about it. If I had, if I’d ordered her to stop thinking about it, if I’d maybe locked her up until I got back from work that day, she wouldn’t have—” He stopped and bit his knuckle.
“David.” I gently slid my hand onto his knee. “Pepper turning that child wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was. I was her guardian, her boyfriend—
responsible
for her.”
“No. If you wanna blame someone for what was ultimately her decision then, I hate to say it, David, but you need to be talking with Jason.”
“Why?” He looked up quickly.
“You don’t know?”
He sat forward, slowly turning his knees to face mine, and took both my hands. “Ara, you better tell me what you know.”
“It was a long time ago, and it was only said in passing, but Jase told me he was the one who convinced Pepper to turn the child.”
David spun away like he was about to vomit.
“I thought you knew,” I added.
“How did he do it?” he said into his hands. “How did he convince her?”
“I don’t know. But, from what I remember, he was ordered to, or something.”
He stood up.
“David.” I stood too. “Where are you going?”
“Relax, Ara, I’m not gonna skin him. I just want to know what happened.”
“Then I’m coming with you.”
“He doesn't need you to protect him.”
“I’m not just there for him, okay. You both need a mediator because you’re too darn immature to sort it out like grown men.” I put my hands on my hips. “And if you won’t let me come, then you’re not going anywhere near him.”
“You have no say.”
I smirked at him. “Try me.”
He let out a breath through a smile. “Fine. You can come. But it won’t be pretty.”
It wasn’t as bad as I thought, though: Jason quietly told his story while I stood in the shadows with my arms folded, hearing everything objectively. He told us how Drake had grown tired of Pepper’s misconduct and compelled him under the power of his oath to convince Pepper that he was David, then beg her to turn a child.
When David realised that Pepper not only felt betrayed by his sentencing and torturing her, but that she thought all along that he wanted this child with her, he sat down on the edge of Jason’s bed and stared at the floor between his feet.
“Drake did this purely to get David to attend school,” Jase concluded.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I’ve only just put it together today—after you told me what Drake did to your mum and Harry, but I remember Drake asking David to take Pepper with him on his bi-annual leave. He said that she was too young for this world and needed a few more years in school.”
“But I refused,” David said. “Told him she needed to be in the adult world to grow up—not in school.”
Jason’s eyes said it all as he looked at me. It
was
David’s fault. If he’d accepted the offer, Drake would never have had need to ‘get rid of’ Pepper and traumatise David into going anywhere he recommended.
“David.” I walked over and cautiously touched his shoulder. “This is good news.”
“How?”
“Because you said she was terrified of you. When she finds out that it wasn’t you who made her turn the child, then turned against her, she might come ’round.”
He looked up at me.
“Her story doesn't have to have a sad ending. Bring her here. We can help nurse her back to health.”
“She is beyond help, Ara.”
“No. No one is. Jason can erase everything from her mind—” I presented Jase, who nodded. “You've seen the success we’ve had with the Damned. And if that doesn't work, I’ll take her to the Stone and plead with the Mother to help me.”