Secrets and Lace: A Dark Romance Thriller (Fatal Hearts Series Book 1) (7 page)

Mom sat down in the armchair that had belonged to my father. Even in the same room, the distance between us was great. So many hurts, so many unspoken words.

“I'm so glad you're here. I dreamed of you last night. I had no idea it was because you were coming home today.”

I cleared my throat. “I just came to tell you that I'm in town to take care of some things. I thought you might want to know.” I clasped my hands tight so they wouldn't tremble. Why was I even explaining anything to her? What was I doing here in the first place? She hadn't been a mom to me for years. 

Mom shrugged. “It's nice of you to stop by.” Her sunken eyes didn't leave my face. Was she afraid I would disappear again? Why did she care? “You look lovely... so different.”

“Thank you.” I swallowed hard. “You look different, too.”

“I know.” Mom tugged at one of her dry strands of hair. “A lot has changed since... Tell me, how have you been?”

“I've been okay...busy.” 

“Dan Mullot from the post office mentioned a while ago that he saw you in a magazine. You've changed your name. “

I nodded, feeling guilty. “It was a business decision. He must have seen me in a copy of
Sage
, my magazine.”

“Kelly wasn't fancy enough for you?” Something flashed across Mom's features—disappointment, pain, regret? 

“I like Chloe better.” Was she seriously trying to make me feel guilty for the decisions I had made, the person I had chosen to become? What right did she have? “I'm not here to fight. I just came to tell you I'm in town and that's it.” I attempted to stand up, but Mom raised a hand to stop me.

“Please,” she begged. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I’ve missed you so much. I prayed every day that you would come back to me.”

A bubble of anger formed inside my throat and burst before I could stop it. “That's strange. I'm surprised you even noticed I was gone. I thought you'd be glad. You never wanted much to do with me when I was here.” I sucked in a breath. “In fact, as I recall, you chose your boyfriend over me. Even after what he tried to do to me. You didn't believe me. You took his side. Now you want me to believe you've changed?”

Mom stood and came to kneel at my feet. She looked up at me, tears trickling down her cheeks. “I'm sorry for everything, Kelly. I made so many mistakes, and I can't take them back.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I know you thought I didn't love you. But I did. I really did love you. I love you… so much. I just didn't know how to show it.”

“How could I have known you loved me?” My own eyes welled up. “I needed you, but you were never there.” I remembered the exact day Mom started pulling away from me. At my birthday party. One moment she was there, singing happy birthday, asking me to blow out the candles and make a wish. And then she went to the bedroom to get the presents she had bought for me. When she returned, she was acting strange, no longer interested in celebrating. During the days that followed, I'd tried to believe it was a phase that would be over soon, and then we could return to our normal lives. The phase never ended. It lasted years, taking me all the way into high school and out of it.

“Kelly—”

“Chloe. That's my name now.”

“Okay.” Mom sniffed. “Chloe, there's so much you don't know.”

“I'm sure there is.” I blinked back tears.

She gripped my knees. “Please let me explain. I want to tell you everything.”

I didn't say anything, just leaned back and folded my arms in front of my chest. My fingers were sore from being clenched so tight earlier. 

She buried her head in my lap. ”On your tenth birthday, everything changed for me. One minute I felt like the luckiest woman alive. I had a beautiful daughter and a husband I adored. A husband I thought loved me back. That day when I went up to get your presents, I found a note in your father's suit jacket.” She cried harder. “It was from a woman. It was intimate.”

I clenched up inside, but I refused to move, to think, to breathe. I waited for what I knew was coming: more news to destroy the only happy part of my childhood. 

“I was so broken I didn't know how to act. I asked
your father about it…later.” She lowered her head. Her gray hair was more concentrated on her crown. “He didn’t deny the affair. He'd been sleeping with one of his customers for over a year. After all the years I had been there for him, he cheated on me. He slept with someone else while I was at home preparing his meals and washing his clothes. He destroyed everything I believed about marriage and family. He destroyed me.”

My chest tightened and guilt burned my insides. How could I not have known? How did I miss her pain?

And how could my father, my hero, do something like that?

I wanted to pretend it wasn't true, but Mom wouldn't accuse my father of something so horrible just to get close to me, would she? Deep down, I knew she was telling the truth. All those fights they’d had in the middle of the night. I'd thought they had been fighting about me. I thought my father was angry with her for pulling away from me. All this time, I believed it was her. 

I placed a hand on her head, which grew heavier in my lap.

“We were separated for years. We lived in the same house and shared the same bed. It was all for show. He didn't want you to know the truth. You're the reason he stayed. He continued seeing the woman.”

“Why didn't you leave?” I heard myself ask.

“I didn't want to destroy you... your childhood. But I still pulled back. Every time I saw you with him… I guess I was jealous that he still loved you and no longer loved me.” She looked up, her eyes red and swollen. “I ended up destroying your life anyway. Your father wanted us to wait until you graduated from high school. He wanted a divorce. But he died before that happened.”

I engulfed Mom in a hug, her pain soaking into me. “I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything.”

Both of us cried. After a while, the air seemed to clear. It was as though most of the pain had been released, and all we had was a clean slate. 

Mom got to her feet, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose. Then she gave me a broken look as she sat back down on the couch next to me. “I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Alex. I don't know what was wrong with me. It’s just… he was the first man to show interest in me in a long time.” She shifted. “But there’s no excuse for what I did. He tried to rape you. I should have protected you.” She took my hands in hers. “After you left, I
did
confront him.” She gave a half shrug. “He wasn't the man I thought he was.”

“You know what?” I wiped away her tears. “Let's move on. He tried, but he didn't succeed. I fought him off. I'd like to leave that part of the past behind. If that's okay with you.”

“I just feel so bad. I don't think I will ever forgive myself. I wasn't even there for you when that scandal of an article spread like wildfire through town... and what happened to Mariela Jones. I was so angry with you for what you said about Alex. I wasn't there for you.” She gripped my hands. “What you did was wrong, but you're my daughter. I should have been on your side no matter what.”

“Mom, really. I forgive you. Don’t worry about it.” I had to tell her more about the article she had just mentioned, but right now she needed to know that our relationship was okay.

She tightened her grip on my hands and I felt the bones in her thin fingers. “Before we start over, there's something else you should know. Two months ago, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. Doctors say I have about six months to live.”

Time stood still. I had just gotten her back, and now she was telling me I was about to lose her again?

For a while I didn't react visibly, didn't know how to. I stared at her like a zombie, my face growing cold as the blood drained from it. “How?” I asked when I rediscovered my power of speech.

“That was my first thought when Dr. Brian gave me the news. I couldn't believe it was happening to me, yet it was. I had to deal with it.”

No wonder she had changed so much, become so thin and frail. Cancer had taken everything away from her. My stomach twisted when I realized I would never have known if I hadn't come to town. She would have died all alone.

“I'm so sorry. I can't believe this is happening. I can arrange for you to come see the best doctors in Boca Raton. Come and live with me...and my fiancé.”

Mom’s face brightened at my words. “You're getting married? I'm so happy for you, honey.” She pulled me into another hug that left me breathless, then pulled back and smiled at me. I detected a flicker of her old self. “I feel much better knowing you have a good life.”

“Thank you. But I want you to share that life. Come live with us in Boca Raton. Let me take care of you.” I shrugged. “Who knows, maybe there's something that can be done.”

She shook her head sadly. “It's incurable. No one can help me. It took me so long to come to terms with what is happening to my body, I just don't feel like I have the energy to start all over again. I don't want to give myself hope and have it taken away.” She touched my cheek. “Honey, thank you for the offer, but I can't come and live with you. I've done enough damage to you. You deserve to live a carefree and happy life, the kind I was never able to give you. Just do one thing for me, if you can. Stay with me for the few days you're in town. Come home.”

“Of course I'll do that. I'll get my things from the hotel in a bit.”

“Thank you.” She tipped her head to one side. “Can I ask what you came to Misty Cove for? If you feel comfortable talking to me about it.”

I paused. Should I distance her from the pain of worrying about me, or start our new relationship by being honest? Instead of discussing my problems, I would have preferred to discuss her treatment options, to convince her to return to Boca Raton with me. The last thing I wanted was for my problems to affect her. But she looked so expectant, waiting for me to respond.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Mom, I think I'm in danger.
”

Chapter Fourteen

My gaze wandered around the room, which was lit up by the bright morning sunlight filtering through the lace curtains. The curtains were the only new thing in my childhood bedroom. Mom had kept everything else the way it was before I had left. Even though she had neglected the rest of the house, she had kept my room clean. No dust or cobwebs in sight.

I felt horrible when I thought again of what she had gone through. How I had walked out of her life without knowing the full story. We had lost so much time together. I should have talked to her before leaving. Instead I had secretly applied to colleges without her knowledge and packed my bags. I couldn't get out of Misty Cove fast enough.

Then again, she wasn't the only person I had wanted to run from.

My gaze took in a poster of a blond teenage girl in a bikini—Mary Lewis, a famous singer back then. I remember putting up the poster, wishing I were her. Desperate for her looks, and her fame and fortune. Last I'd heard, the pressures of success had led Mary Lewis to the grave early. She’d overdosed on pills two years ago.

I climbed out of bed and went to the wardrobe. The multicolored butterflies were still stuck to the door. I had been drawn to butterflies as a child, an attraction born of the wish to be free, to fly away. Wishes
did
come true, but sometimes at a high cost. 

The door squeaked when I pulled it open. The shelves and drawers were empty. Mom must have packed up my clothes and put them in boxes in the basement. An image of the way the wardrobe had looked with clothes inside pushed its way to the forefront of my mind—folded and arranged according to color. Through high school, the colors had evolved from dull and gray to colorful and bright. They had changed along with me. One moment I had been an invisible girl, the one who wore oversized and shapeless clothes to hide her unflattering figure. Until everything changed, and I was suddenly the girl everyone wanted to hang out with. My clothes and style changed along with my popularity.

The thing that had thrown me into the spotlight was the school newspaper. My articles had made waves, especially my column, StudeX, which was focused on revealing interesting facts about students’ lives, and sometimes exposing secrets. Since nothing was off-limits, before the column was launched, interested students had to sign a release form to be considered for a feature. They’d had no control over what would be written about them, and the journalism was done undercover. The sheer number of signatures we’d received had been astounding. The StudeX column went on to change some of my fellow schoolmates’ lives—along with mine.

I walked over to my desk, listening to the sound of vacuuming coming from downstairs. I bit my lip as I ran a hand over the pile of schoolbooks, and the old computer on which I had completed so many of my articles and homework assignments. The tips of my fingers brushed the scars in the wood of the desk. I noticed a tiny heart in the upper left-hand corner.
Larry loves Kelly
. 

Larry had been
that
guy. The one every girl wanted to be with and every guy wanted to be. He was captain of the football team and just about the smartest guy in school. Coupled with his muscular chest and good looks, it was a killer combination. I’d pined after him all through high school, but I never thought he would notice me. Until he asked me to be his prom date. That was after my final StudeX feature, the one that made me the most talked-about girl on the last day of school. It also made me enemies. Secretly, I hated myself for what I had done, but the success had numbed the guilt, just as it did now with each new
Sage
cover story.

Before going downstairs, I gave Miles a call. I hadn’t been able to reach him last night.

“I have good and bad news,” I told him when he picked up. “I'll start with the good news. 

“Turns out my issues with my mom were based on a misunderstanding.” As I recounted Mom’s revelations and the news of her illness, tears welled up in my eyes again. I had cried all night after Mom went to bed, ridden with guilt and regret. “I can't believe thirteen years ago I left without even saying goodbye to her. I feel terrible.”