Secrets and Lies (Cassie Scot) (27 page)

I tried not to let it bother me, since this was none of their business and I didn’t even like them. But when I saw the look in Evan’s eyes, I stopped short.

He stood, framed in the doorway by the harsh glow of late afternoon sunlight, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes full of accusation. It was almost enough to make me forget why I had every right to be angry with him for putting a ward on me without telling me.

“Bring him inside,” Evan said finally, stepping away from the door so I could enter.

“Can you fix him?” I asked.

“Yes.” Evan took the box from me and started for the stairs. “You can wait for me in the den. This won’t take long.”

“Not long” turned out to be at least half an hour. Plenty long enough for me to worry about whether or not the ward would cause any permanent damage to Braden, and whether he would see reason and let things go after this demonstration.

Finally, I heard two angry voices growing louder and louder as they moved down the long, curving staircase. I left the den, standing in the doorway to watch the two men growing closer, their words becoming clearer.

Braden was human again, and fully clothed, though he looked like he had just taken a dunking. He waved his arms as he spoke, his face red with outrage.

“I don’t care if you intended that trap to get me or not, it’s still against the law.”

“Report me, then,” Evan said, supremely unconcerned.

“I bet you think you’re above the law.”

“I think you should go.”

“What did you do to Cassie?” Braden asked. “A love spell?”

Evan saw me then out of the corner of his eye, and both men turned to face me. They had reached the bottom of the stairs, which put us more or less at eye level with one another, though both men were taller than me by about half a foot.

“Braden,” I said softly, “you need to go home.”

“You still won’t let me help you,” Braden said.

“Help how?” I threw my hands in the air. “He just turned you into a frog.”

“Does that mean you want help?” Braden asked.

“No. It means good-bye, Braden.”

He stared at me for a long time. Then, with a curt nod, he stalked to the front door. Neither Evan nor I moved to follow him as he let himself out. It only occurred to me when I heard the engine revving up that I’d arrived in Braden’s car, and was now stuck here until Evan deigned to take me home.

I still stood in the doorway leading to the den, he at the bottom of the curving staircase. Our eyes didn’t meet, but we looked at one another like warring opponents seeking an Achilles’ Heel.

I wasn’t sure he had one. He had spent the entire day and most of the weekend traveling through at least four states, yet he didn’t look the least bit travel weary. His clothes remained unwrinkled, and his face... I looked away from his hard, angry expression before I could fully appreciate it.

“Come here,” he said.

I took exactly one step forward, keeping several feet between us. I didn’t know what he had in mind, but I thought it would be best if we talked before... anything else.

“It was just a kiss,” I said. “And he kissed me, so really...”

Evan didn’t give me a chance to finish. Closing the distance between us, he put one arm around me, while he used the other to lift my chin. I knew he meant to kiss me, and I knew it would be a bad idea. I just couldn’t remember why. Longing filled me well before his lips touched mine, causing my thoughts to prematurely scatter.

The kiss was intended to brand, to dominate, and to claim. It did all that and more, because he didn’t hold back an ounce of his erotic gift as he conquered my mouth. My knees quite literally went weak, so he had to support me to keep me from falling. Then came the explosion from somewhere deep within. My world shattered, reason fled, and I could do nothing but ride the tidal wave of sensation that went on and on. It was so intense it was nearly painful – pain mixed with joy. I screamed. I cried. I laughed.

I lost myself.

When I resurfaced, I lay next to him on the black leather sofa in the den, his arms around me, my head pressed against his chest. His heartbeat thundered in my ears, at once disturbing and comforting, until I realized my own pulse raced in time with his.

Beware your heart and soul...

I pushed myself away from him. “Did that make you feel better?”

“It was just a kiss.”

Right. Like a hurricane was just a storm. “You should have told me about the ward.”

“I didn’t expect you to go off kissing other men. You said you and Braden were through.”

“We are. It was a good-bye kiss.” I stood and found a seat in a recliner, needing to put some distance between us.

“You really were thinking of moving to Chicago with him, weren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you decide to go?”

“Would you have let me?”

He hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you?” I couldn’t believe that. “You said you’d never let me go. Did you suddenly change your mind?”

“No, but... are you in love with him?” The look Evan gave me made me wonder if he did have an Achilles’ Heel, after all, because I had trouble believing he would consider Braden a threat.
“I don’t love him.” I closed my eyes, trying to figure out a way to explain Braden. “Look, you don’t understand. No one ever gave me a second look before he came along. It was nice to feel wanted. For a while, I even thought it was all I needed to feel. He may not be the man of my dreams, but he’s the only one who’s ever shown any interest. ”

“What am I?” Evan gave me a heated look, making my cheeks flush.

“Except for you,” I mumbled.

“Cassie, I...” he broke off, turned away, and then regrouped. “You don’t sound like you believe that.”

I didn’t know what to believe. A few days before, I’d come to the conclusion that he wanted me because he thought me burned out, but I wasn’t confident enough of that conclusion to give it voice, especially not given the way he was looking at me.

“In case you didn’t know,” Evan said, “I would have made a move in high school, if it hadn’t been for your parents.”

My head snapped up, looking into his eyes for some sign of deceit, but I didn’t find one. His anger had gone, replaced with something else I had trouble identifying. Something more disturbing.

“I always thought you knew,” Evan continued. “Your parents would never have let us date in high school. That’s why every time I dated someone else, I told you it wasn’t serious.”

“That’s what you meant?”

“I think pretty much everyone else knew. That’s why they stayed away.”

It took me a minute to understand. “You kept people from–?”

“Not in so many words.”

“No,” I said, bitterly. “Of course not. You only needed a menacing look.”

To his credit, he looked somewhat chagrined. “I’m sorry. I had no idea you felt... unwanted. Believe me, that wasn’t true. I was always planning to come for you after my apprenticeship. Then your parents disowned you and made things easier. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah, sort of.” He looked away, unable or unwilling to meet my eyes. “You’ve done nothing but keep your distance since I saved your life. It makes me wonder if it would have been easier to get you to fall in love with me without all that hanging over us.”

My breath caught and my heart skipped a beat.
Fall in love with him?
He couldn’t possibly be suggesting...

“Cassie.” Evan drew in a deep breath, his gaze shifting back to me and looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I love you. I think I’ve been in love with you since the first grade.”

Maybe the news shouldn’t have come as a huge surprise, not after everything he had done for me. But it did. For the longest time, I could only stare at him, wondering if I had ever really known him at all. My heart thundered in my chest, practically aching for this man who had been my best friend, a man my body craved even after the magic of his kiss faded.

This was the danger he posed. This. Right here. Right now. He could never have commanded me to give him my heart, but he could be himself. He could be the man I had known for so long, who had been there for me when I needed him. And he could love me. I had no defenses against that. Even now, even though there were a hundred reasons I couldn’t be with him, I wanted him.

I wasn’t even aware of moving until my legs unfolded from beneath me and I found myself seated next to him on the sofa once again. My body betrayed me, craving his warmth, leaning against his chest until he put an arm around me and drew me closer still.

And that’s when I knew the truth: It wasn’t Evan I need fear. It was myself.

“Please, don’t cry.” Evan ran a gentle thumb across my cheek to wipe away a tear. “I knew I shouldn’t have said it yet. I was waiting for the right time, but it never seemed to come.”

I shook my head, trying to tell him without words that I wasn’t crying because of what he said. Well, I was, but not for the reasons he supposed. His words of love changed everything. But at the same time, they changed nothing. I wanted to reassure him, maybe even tell him I loved him, too, but if I did that, everything really would change.

“Evan,” I said, haltingly, “I–”

“No,” Evan said. He stood, taking a few steps back. “No, don’t say it.”

“What?” The moment shattered, the spell broken, but I didn’t know why.

“Don’t just say it because you know I want to hear it.”

I wasn’t sure I had been about to tell him I loved him. I still didn’t want to love him, but hearing the words from him made it that much harder to affirm my resolve. This wasn’t just about me and what I wanted, not anymore. It was about him, how he felt, and the fact that I never wanted to hurt him. But wasn’t that what I was doing? What I had been doing since he had saved my life and I had returned the favor by avoiding and fearing him?

“You know what we need to do?” Evan said suddenly. “We need to spend some time together away from crises. Away from chaos. Just us.”

“Like on a date?” I suggested, remembering how I’d turned him down the week before. Now I felt guilty about that. Didn’t I at least owe him a chance?

My heart wouldn’t withstand that chance, though. If I were being honest, I knew that’s why I hadn’t wanted to give him the chance in the first place.

“How about it?” Evan asked. “Tomorrow night? Hodge Mill?”

I nodded. “We could do that. But what about tonight, Chinese delivery, and whatever’s in your DVD collection?”

The corners of his mouth twitched upward. “I haven’t had much time to build my collection yet. I’ve only got three movies.”

I groaned, because I knew exactly what those three movies would be. “
Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back
, and
Return of the Jedi
?”

“I couldn’t watch them for three whole years while I lived with Master Wolf. You have no idea the agony I endured.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. In truth, I didn’t hate the movies, I just didn’t love them the way he did. I never understood his love of fantasy, when he had the Force, so to speak, right at his own fingertips.

“I’ll watch on one condition,” I said, holding up a finger.

“What?”

“No play acting. And no echoing lines, before, during, or after.”

“That sounds like two conditions. Or maybe four, depending upon how you count.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Take it or leave it.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but okay, I accept.”

I
DIDN’T PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO
the movie, and not just because Evan
had his arm around me the entire time. Or because he kissed me a few more times. I kept hearing the echo of his words of love in my mind. They felt like a warm glow, until I got to the part where he didn’t want me to say the words back. I didn’t understand, but I couldn’t work up the courage to broach the subject again before he took me home.

I spent the next morning at the Sheriff’s Office, filling out more paperwork and collecting my old badge, sidearm, and uniform. The sheriff had never discarded them. Despite his earlier animosity, he was eager to see me get back to work. I agreed to start the next day, whether my mother remained in her hospital bed or not.

That afternoon, however; I returned to the hospital – not to see her, but to see my brothers and sisters. I was determined not to let my parents’ action tear us apart, although I wondered, guiltily, if my relationship with Evan might accomplish the same thing.

“Cassie,” Edward said as soon as I entered the room. “We need to talk.”

“Not if it’s about Evan.”

He exchanged a dark look with Nicolas before motioning me to a corner of the room, away from the others, and lowering his voice. “Nicolas told me everything.”

“He doesn’t know everything.”

“Well, he did assure me that you’re not pregnant, at least. He said your injuries a couple of weeks ago were too severe. So, I’m sorry I doubted you.”

I clenched my teeth together, unwilling to forgive, or to explain what really had me upset with him. He would never understand that I hated him more for suggesting an abortion than for accusing me of the pregnancy in the first place.