But he couldn’t. He couldn’t.
But he could do this …
He slipped one finger inside of her and Annie’s entire body jerked. She lifted her head and looked at him with eyes wide with surprise. Jordan had expected that. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Don’t be afraid.”
Then he moved his finger and Annie forgot to think at all. The slow glide of Jordan’s finger inside her, in and out, in and out, made Annie want to die. She’d never felt anything approaching it in her entire life. She was wet, and hot, and wanting him. She grabbed his head and kissed him, kissed him with all the pent-up desire she felt for him. If this man was a rake, she never wanted to be without the company of a rake. She was swimming in a haze of heat and desire.
He moved his hand a bit, flicked back and forth, and Annie sobbed against his mouth. “Jordan.”
Jordan kissed her again, deeply, then, “Wait, Annie. Wait for it.”
He brushed his thumb against the little nub of her pleasure between her legs and Annie cried out. Her hips were moving in an unconsciously seductive rhythm that was driving him mad. The way she responded to him, with such heat, such passion, such abandon. His cock had never been so hard.
Jordan moved his thumb in a steady circle. Slowly. Slowly. She was on the pinnacle and he’d do anything to give her the prize.
“Jordan, I…” Her head moved fitfully back and forth. He brought up his other hand to cup the back of her head. He kissed her again. Drank her in like a fine wine.
“Shh,” he whispered. “Just let it happen. Feel.”
“Let what…” But her voice trailed off and her hips increased their pace along with his thumb. She clutched his shoulders. “Jordan!” she cried, her breathing hitching and then coming in fast little spurts. “Jordan.”
Annie didn’t know what was happening inside of her but the agonizing building tension and the crescendo that followed left her breathless, panting, and clinging to Jordan. He was completely still with his eyes clamped shut and an almost pained expression on his face.
“Jordan?” she finally managed to breathe against his neck. “Are you all right?”
He answered through clenched teeth. “I’ll be … fine.”
Annie could still feel his erection through his breeches. She must have caused that. And it was causing him pain. She reached down to touch it.
“Annie. No.” His voice was a too harsh command but Annie knew the second she wrapped her hand around it, he was going to let her touch him.
“Oh God,” he groaned, and Annie pressed her bare breasts to his chest and held him. God, he was big, wide, and long. She could tell that much through his breeches. Despite having never read her sister’s scandalous pamphlet, Annie was somewhat aware of what went on between a man and woman in bed …
not
necessarily on their wedding night. And from Jordan’s reaction, she had just found the source of his pleasure.
“Can I touch you, Jordan?”
His eyes clenched shut, his jaw tight, he shook his head.
“Please?” she asked, slowly, carefully unbuttoning his breeches with one hand.
“Annie,” he breathed, trying to tell her to stop. He couldn’t be held responsible if she touched his bare cock with her perfect little hand.
“Please,” she whispered. “Let me.”
The last button came undone and Jordan sprang free. Annie wrapped her bare hand around his silken warmth. He was like firm velvet. Long and lean and … hard. She shuddered. Somehow, instinctively, she knew how to touch him. She rubbed him up and down, making Jordan groan and shudder.
“Annie, no.” He kissed her lips fiercely, but Annie didn’t move her hand away.
Jordan braced himself against the unholy torture of having Annie touch him. Anything he’d done to the girl, ruining her chances with Eggleston, abducting her, making her suffer through his matchmaking attempts, they all paled in comparison to the torture she was inflicting upon him at the moment.
Without a doubt, after tonight, their score would be even. She nipped his earlobe and rubbed him up and down. Jordan’s cock jerked. Oh God, if he allowed her to keep doing that, he’d spill his seed, right here on the bloody stone wall in the conservatory. Such. Bad. Form.
It took every ounce of strength he had to reach down and pull Annie’s torturous hand away. Her eyes were still a haze of lust and confusion. He kissed her forehead. The tip of her nose. Her lips.
“Why?” she asked.
His breathing was heavy, unsteady. “Let’s just say if you had continued to touch me like that, I would have made a fool of myself.”
She shook her head, confused.
He kissed her again and again until she felt like her lips would never be the same.
After what seemed like only moments but was probably the better part of an hour, Jordan pulled his mouth away. “We must stop.”
Annie nodded.
He refastened his breeches before buttoning the back of her gown. He escorted her through the house, up the stairs, and to her room without saying a word. She opened the door and turned back to face him, tentative, shy.
“Good night, Annie,” he said, bowing. His rumpled clothing and disheveled hair were the most attractive things she’d ever seen.
“What happened?” she managed to ask in a shaky voice.
His voice was firm, confident. He had a determined gleam in his eye. “Something that can never happen between us again.”
CHAPTER 33
The next morning, Jordan watched the coach that would take Annie back to London from an upstairs window. He didn’t dare say good-bye in person, didn’t dare get too close. He didn’t trust himself not to turn into a complete madman again and ravish her in the blasted foyer.
Instead, he put his coach and four at her disposal and sent Aunt Clarissa, Mary, and a gaggle of footmen, all of whom already adored Annie, off to London. She was going back. Back to the safety of Devon’s house. Back to her sister’s care.
Jordan squeezed his eyes shut. He hoped she didn’t see fit to mention their little interlude last night to her new brother-in-law. The thought made him smile a wry smile. Devon coming at him and beating him senseless might be just what Jordan needed, however, to jostle some sense back into him.
He scrubbed a hand through his hair, leaned his arm against the windowpane, and rested his forehead against it, watching his coach recede into the distance. What the hell had happened to him over the last four weeks? A month ago, he’d been enjoying an entirely pleasant existence of debauchery in London, and now he was doing his damnedest to get an innocent out of his head.
They’d nearly gone too far last night, and it shook him. But Annie had looked up at him with those beautiful brown eyes and asked,
What’s wrong with me?
It had been his undoing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Nothing. And it made his stomach churn to know she might think so.
If he ever saw that fool Arthur Eggleston again, he’d do the lad a favor and snap his idiot neck. And Annie’s father had best be glad he was dead because he was on the list too. Anyone who’d ever been mean to her was.
But where had this protective streak come from? It made no sense. He’d never made it his business to protect anyone. Why was he starting now? He could tell himself repeatedly it was because he’d promised his friends he’d take care of Annie while they were gone, but there was more to it than that and he knew it. Blast it. He knew it. He’d protected her from her own fool notions, it was true, but he could have carted her out here and left her alone, gone back to London himself. He didn’t have to watch over her the entire time.
So why did he?
And when did the chaperone become the worst possible person to be in her presence? God, he couldn’t keep his hands off her last night. He’d tried. Screamed at himself in his head to stop. But touching her soft skin, moving his hands along her taut thighs, he just couldn’t help himself. Some madness had overtaken him and he just had to touch her.
Jordan expelled his breath and turned from the window. Yes, they’d nearly gone too far last night.
Had
gone too far. It scared the hell out of him to know it. He’d apologize to her the next time he saw her. In private, of course. But he couldn’t see her again for a long, long while. Perhaps not until she was engaged, or even married. Lily would take her into hand now and ensure her sister made a fine match. Thank God for that. But Jordan, no, he had no business being anywhere near Annie Andrews for the next several months if he could help it.
And that was an end to it.
* * *
Annie traced the pattern of the coach’s curtains with a fingertip. She glanced up at the manor house, wondering where Jordan was inside the cavernous home. Was he even aware that she was leaving now?
“I’ve never been woken up so early and sent packing so suddenly.” Mary mumbled the words from across the seat.
Annie bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Mary. I thought you knew Devon and Lily were expected back today. I do hope they make it.”
“I, for one, am quite happy to be going back. The country is lovely but a dreadful bore,” Aunt Clarissa added from her spot in the corner.
Mary settled into her own seat and shook her head at Annie. “I knew Miss Lily and Lord Colton are expected back. I just didn’t realize Lord Ashbourne was in such a ’urry ta be rid o’ ye.”
Unexpected tears stung the back of Annie’s eyes. It hadn’t been Jordan who’d ordered her to leave so quickly. She’d been unable to sleep last night after their encounter. She’d been up with the sun and asked the servants to help her prepare to leave. They’d been such dears and assisted her. Apparently Jordan had offered her the use of his coach, but he hadn’t come to say good-bye and she couldn’t blame him. After all that had happened between them over the last two weeks, and then last night, what would they say to each other? She’d been blissfully relieved to know he intended to let her go without having to face him. Hadn’t she?
Annie shook her head. She did her best to affect a convincing laugh. “Where have you been, Mary? Lord Ashbourne’s been in a hurry to get rid of me since Lily and Devon left town.”
Mary rolled her eyes. “That man certainly thinks ’e’s the king the way ’e ordered ye about and dragged ye out ’ere to begin wit. And why we need ta travel all the way back ta London to meet Miss Lily and Lord Colton just to come right back down ’ere to Surrey this week, I’ll never understand.”
Annie’s voice was quiet. “I’m anxious to see my sister. I cannot wait to get to London.”
Aunt Clarissa cleared her throat. “Yes, and please don’t take this the wrong way, dear, as it’s been an absolute pleasure serving as your chaperone for the last month, but I cannot wait to get back to my own town house. I miss my own bed dreadfully.”
Annie reached over and patted the older woman’s hand. “You’ve been such a dear to stay with me, Aunt Clarissa.”
Annie glanced back at Mary. “Besides, Lord Ashbourne was only doing what he was asked.”
Mary quirked a brow. “Only doing wot ’e was asked? My, isn’t that a change o’ tune from a few days ago? Weren’t ye the one wot nearly ’ad a conniption when the man tracked ye down? Abduction, ye called it, if I remember.”
Annie pulled at the strings to her reticule. She glanced out the window and stared across the foggy landscape, the demesne of Jordan’s vast property. Mary was obviously miffed if she wasn’t making any attempt to pronounce her words more formally.
But Mary was right. Annie had been completely changed over the last two weeks. Not only had she finally come to realize that Arthur wasn’t the man she thought he was, but she’d also seen Lord Ashbourne … Jordan … in a completely different way.
The truth was, she’d spent the last month acting like a spoiled child while Jordan had done everything in his power to save her from herself and her own idiotic notions of love. Arthur didn’t love her. Perhaps he thought he did and he certainly said he did, but true love didn’t run from adversity. His promise had been worth nothing. Arthur clearly wasn’t committed to her. Not the way he truly should be. And the truth was, she wasn’t as committed to him as she should be either. If she truly loved Arthur, after all, how could she have done the wanton things she’d done with Jordan last night? How could she have enjoyed them so much? Her cheeks flamed.
Oh God, what had she done? Jordan was Devon’s best friend. He was a rakehell and better looking than he had any right to be. He couldn’t seriously be interested in her. Could he? On the other hand, the man consorted with beauties like Nicoletta. He wouldn’t waste his time with Annie if he didn’t find her somewhat pretty … would he?
Her mind raced back to the day they went for a ride on his property when he’d allowed her to drive the coach tandem. Arthur had refused to allow her to do such a thing, but Jordan had seemed nothing but confident in her skills. He’d saved her reputation on two occasions now and had put himself to considerable trouble on her account. He’d even attempted to introduce her to his handsome brothers. Surely that act alone proved he was doing more than just fulfilling a simple promise to Devon.
Annie shook her head. She needed to be alone for a few days, away from men. All of them. All they’d done in the past month was serve to confuse her. “Let’s get some sleep, Mary,” she whispered to the maid.
Yes. She needed to rest, rest and see Lily. She longed to be in her sister’s comforting arms.
Mary nodded and Annie leaned her head against the coach’s wall. She squeezed her eyes shut, but she couldn’t sleep.
She wanted marriage and children and love more than anything in this world. Those had been her dreams for as long as she could remember. She’d thought Arthur was the man for her, but now, when she closed her eyes, Arthur’s image was not the one that filled her vision. It was Jordan Holloway’s image that danced across her mind.
And there was only one problem with Jordan Holloway.
The man had sworn an oath never to marry.
CHAPTER 34
Annie ran straight into her sister’s outstretched arms. “Lily,” she breathed, inhaling the familiar scent of her sister’s jasmine perfume. “Lily, I missed you so.”
Lily hugged Annie tightly. “And I missed you.” The two pulled apart and stared at each other, bright smiles upon each of their faces.